Juliane
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  • I keep disappointing other people in my life. Would be so much better if I was not here anymore.
    adpolandam
    stay strong!
    L along the way
    In my opinion.. if other people are dissapointed.. too bad for them. You're not like being intentionally unkind to them or something like that. I guess it's good to prioritize your own wellbeing.
    L along the way
    For me, socializing can be nice sometimes.. but it depens a lot.. about with who, and in general i try to focus more on my own wellbeing.. i don't think that's egocentric, it's trying to meet your own needs first. Take it easy Juliane
    Fellow T and H sufferers: how are you handling Christmas? (If you celebrate) Will you run the risk and join family gatherings or self-isolate? Not sure what I will do. All seems impossible rn.
    Last year in December I thought I had it bad. This shit just get worse and worse with no end in sight. I will quit my job in the beginning of 2025.
    We are all different. But for me, thinking positively and becoming hopeful tends to destroy all progress. I need to get back into being constantly depressed and fearful and isolated. All that matters is protecting my ears. All else is worthless.
    My tinnitus has introduced a new horrible screeching sound on top of the usual sound torture. I knew it could of course always become worse but this is beyond horrific. I might need to quit my job now.
    TheCapybara
    I'm sorry you're not doing well lately Juliane. Did the worsening happen out of nowhere or was it another accoustic trauma?
    Juliane
    @TheCapybara I am not sure. I think I have made the classic mistake: become more complacent after a brief period of more manageable tinnitus. Accepting too many invitations for socializing. Nothing crazy, just lunches and coffee basically. But even minor socializing is off limits it seems. I am devastated.
    Happy first Sunday of Advent. My day will be spent in bed suffering and crying
    L along the way
    Love sister, i understand you. I don't know why life has to be like this now.. i also don't have any real answers.. hope for a better day.. but sometimes that also doesn't work. I hope you find relief, that things may be well some day please.. i think we are doing the best we can in this ridiculous situation.. pff.. love & healing
    LukeYoung
    Sending love and healing to you, i find being in nature, around local parks with people, dogs, children, the breeze, they can help lift spirits a little.
    I have had some relatively good weeks prior to this but as always in my life, good times (or now, relatively good times) will be punished with horrible times. Back to square one. Starting over, feeling defeated and without hope again. It does not help that I have accumulated other chronic health issues, probably due to the T ruining my nervous and digestive system with its relentless torture. Terrified of the future.
    R
    Im 5 and a half years in. Not sure your history but ill let you know, spikes suck and are scary, but they do pass. I've had spikes in various degrees of terrible and scary, but they always tend to calm back to baseline. Eventually you start to go oh, dang, and then you just move on and ride it out knowing it will pass. I know it doesn't seem that way but, you'll get through
    R
    I had a terrible spike that lasted a few days, really loud. That was due to noise. I had a spike last a month due to nasal spray. But they all passed.
    I cannot do this. Feeling Suicidal again due to horrible spike.
    LukeYoung
    You can do this, you've gotten through it before! Stay strong, keep distracted, it' will be hard to not focus on it, but you must try
    I find it hard to describe my hate for this condition with new words. Feel like I used them all. It sucks life out of you and leaves you empty and bitter.
    Once again finding myself in a situation where I might need to cancel my participation in a close family member's birthday due to this shit. I know they will be disappointed and I feel like crap for cancelling. But this disease spares no one and could not care less about your life and happiness.
    Where are you up to old friend? I'm struggling at the minute, a variety of other health issues like you and no real tinnitus improvement. How you managing to cope?
    Juliane
    Sorry for my late reply. And so sorry to hear you are struggling 😔 Any improvements at all?

    I am struggling too. I can't believe it's been almost 2 years of this. I am definitely not the same person anymore. Are you planning to take part in Christmassy events? I fear all the noise.

    @Cmspgran
    Cmspgran
    I didn't go my works Christmas party and made excuses, having a really bad flare up right now and medication not working anymore. I honestly thought we'd be sharing success stories now and not the opposite ☹️
    This is not advice, just my personal experience: going part-time at work was the best decision. With tinnitus, there is no "Powering through". Not possible. Full time no longer an option. Not a loss I grieve, I have to obey my limitations. This feels right for me. Not saying it's right for anyone else but my personal story.
    BrOKeN_1
    I'm glad you are taking control of what you can control. Its tough working a full time job while juggling this nasty problem. Kinda wish I had that option. Best of luck.
    Does your tinnitus worsen with autumn and cold dark season? Mine seems to do
    kingsfan
    I think mine tends to do better, because in the midwest, cold season means no mowers and motorcycles, less sportscars and less people tend to be out in general it seems.

    But, damn, I miss the desert, beach, and mountains 😢
    SharonBell
    Juliane yes my tinnitus gets worse with this cooler weather and will get even worse when's it gets cold here.
    If I have said in the past that I'd rather have cancer than tinnitus, I did not mean that. Tinnitus is horrible but I do not want cancer
    Lurius
    Often, but not always. Both my parents had cancer in 2019. They got an operation. No chemo. Chemo is usually the last resort these days. For those who are in life-threatening condition.
    4Grace
    We can surely understand the sentiment when it was first said. Depending how bad someone has it ….
    Juliane
    Thank you for your understanding. Tinnitus has definitely made me despair and wish for bad things. But lately it has made me feel guilty to do so. It is not easy.
    I need to go get a CT scan and my anxiety is spiraling. Will the radiation make T worse?
    Juliane
    No immediate difference? Did it come later?
    ECP
    I had a CT scan in July. It was very quiet and didn't affect T or H at all. I know it's a lot of radiation, but for me, it was the lesser of two evils, the other evil being the amount of noise that an MRI would make.
    Pinhead
    No, no difference at all, at least that I could directly correlate to the CT Scan.
    Does anyone know if CT scans are noisy? I never had one before. Thank you in advance!
    Ngo13
    I got one last year. It wasn't particularly noisy although there is some noise. It had no effects on my T.
    Varda
    There is a lot of controversy about the chemical they inject if they do a "contrast" CT
    4Grace
    It's not noisy. You can do it with or without the contrast.
    One year ago, I had tinnitus. Now I have tinnitus, eye floaters and irritable bowel syndrome. What is happening? Rapid decline.
    T
    ❤️
    kingsfan
    I've had IBS since I was 14. Psyllium husk (metamucil) is magical. If you have IBS-C, Magnesium Glycinate (Qunol Extra Strength is very affordable) is very helpful and easy on the stomach. Ask your doc about pelvic floor therapy. IBS and Pelvic Floor Dysfunction are closely related.
    Juliane
    @kingsfan How do you manage with both tinnitus, IBS and eye floaters? I can't believe we are this cursed. We do not deserve this :-(
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