Don't Ever Lose Hope!

[Wolfears]

Hey @fishbone

Thanks for such an inspirational message. You mention fibromyalgia, I'm sorry to hear you have that. I have lupus, I believe they are very similar.

Does the fibromyalgia make you very fatigued?

Not to hi-jack the thread, but both of you guys should get checked for Lyme, as not only it is known to cause Tinnitus, it is a master at disquising itself to pass for fibremyalga, lupus, alzheimers..etc.
Do not use the Elisa test, as it is very inacurate and will most likely come back negative..try to find someone who does Vega testing.

 

[fishbone]

This is wonderful news fishbone. You are an inspiration to many.

My posts are made, to show that it is possible to get better and that we can/you can do this. It's to motivate those that suffer, that there is light at the end of the tunnel

Sites like this need a motivating anchor and I always volunteer, to cheer people up and lift their spirits up and debunk negativity that holds us back....

 

[fishbone]

Not to hi-jack the thread, but both of you guys should get checked for Lyme, as not only it is known to cause Tinnitus, it is a master at disquising itself to pass for fibremyalga, lupus, alzheimers..etc.
Do not use the Elisa test, as it is very inacurate and will most likely come back negative..try to find someone who does Vega testing.

Ty for your post. My tinnitus came about due to a very bad sickness that I got in my teens and I almost died from it. The concerts cemented the tinnitus and made it a reality. I got fibro/arthritis, because I was overdosed on a certain med by a Dr that was clueless. Im lucky that all i got was neurological muscle issues and not ended up in a wheel chair.
My body is like a jeckyl & hyde. I lift 5-6 days a week, I do MMA training. Tonight we had some sparring. I am the smallest guy in the school. Other guys are taller and heavier, but I gave them HELL and was scrappy

My limbs are always in pain, but i guess..no pain..no gain...

I do my best with this wrecked body and wrecked ears.life moves on and I have no complaints but gratitude that I get to see another day in life

 

[Bill Bauer]

I lift 5-6 days a week, I do MMA training.

Do you think you might have been in less pain if you were to not do the above?

 

[Contrast]

the only thing that gives me hope is bio tech firms trying to reverse hearing loss.

 

[Contrast]

i miss doing martial arts, one of the best things I ever did in my life back when I took Tae Kwon Doe and Muay Thai.

 

[fishbone]

Do you think you might have been in less pain if you were to not do the above?

I am very competitive, I love martial arts/being a super athlete and neither my body pain or my tinnitus/hearing loss will ever stop me from doing this. Due to my competitive nature, I will go extreme on my sports. I wake up with pain and sleep with pain. There are times that I cannot walk for a few hours, but my body says its ok and i go training in 2-3 hours later. I tell myself, that my pain will go away and I will train tonight. I have a hardcore mentality, and I live my life like this.

Actually If i stopped training and stopped my treadmill routines. My body would be in more pain and I stopped all my exercises for almost 9 years after i got fibro. Sure My body is in pain when I train, but I welcome pain and it doesn't scare me

Sports/martial arts/lifting weights has been my love, motivation and it has saved my life. I would not be here on this forum being supportive and as positive if i didn't have sports /training in my life.

 

[Ahat]

I am very competitive, I love martial arts/being a super athlete and neither my body pain or my tinnitus/hearing loss will ever stop me from doing this. Due to my competitive nature, I will go extreme on my sports. I wake up with pain and sleep with pain. There are times that I cannot walk for a few hours, but my body says its ok and i go training in 2-3 hours later. I tell myself, that my pain will go away and I will train tonight. I have a hardcore mentality, and I live my life like this.

Actually If i stopped training and stopped my treadmill routines. My body would be in more pain and I stopped all my exercises for almost 9 years after i got fibro. Sure My body is in pain when I train, but I welcome pain and it doesn't scare me

Sports/martial arts/lifting weights has been my love, motivation and it has saved my life. I would not be here on this forum being supportive and as positive if i didn't have sports /training in my life.

I admire you for not giving up.

I loved running, but I can't anymore. I was diagnosed with plantar fasciitis a few years ago and that forced me to slow it down. The last week of March of this year I got a foot injury in that same foot and it still hasn't healed. The xray on that foot showed that I have arthritis in my toes. I can't bend my toes and I still limp from the injury.

It's hard to give up things you love for any reason. Running was the only thing that helped my depression and anxiety.

I say if you are able, go for it until you can no longer do it.

 

[fishbone]

I admire you for not giving up.

I loved running, but I can't anymore. I was diagnosed with plantar fasciitis a few years ago and that forced me to slow it down. The last week of March of this year I got a foot injury in that same foot and it still hasn't healed. The xray on that foot showed that I have arthritis in my toes. I can't bend my toes and I still limp from the injury.

It's hard to give up things you love for any reason. Running was the only thing that helped my depression and anxiety.

I say if you are able, go for it until you can no longer do it.

Take it slow, very slow. If you can't run, maybe do a slow walk if possible. My body always feels like its injured, having arthritis/fibro is not very forgiving on the body and it can take a toll on the mind too. In a few months I will be having my promotions/higher ranking exam, in my martial arts and it will be a 5-6 hours HELLs fest. Im gonna get pounded on, hit, pushed. It's gonna be physical. No person in their right mind with intrusive tinnitus and fibro/arthritis would attempt such an ordeal, I will do it again and rise above the adversities that might try to stop me.

I do not enjoy pain, but its a part of my life and I welcome it just like my intrusive tinnitus with open arms. I don't make them my enemies and give them power over me..never. My teacher in my martial arts training says that tonight's routine might be painful. I say "bring it on, I expect nothing less"

I guess I became like this, because as a youth i was bullied alot and picked on for being smaller than most guys. I vowed to never be bullied again and started my martial arts and lifting of weights and i never looked back

Never give up buddy. I know it's hard right now, but your willpower will always outshine the obstacles. It's a day by day thing. small steps that add up to big victories later on...always remember that

 

[Bill Bauer]

Actually If i stopped training and stopped my treadmill routines. My body would be in more pain

Even if you were to discontinue it very slowly?

 

[fishbone]

Even if you were to discontinue it very slowly?

Yes. I was active/fit for over 30+ years and then got fibro and slowly stopped doing my activities. My body pain was horrible and everyday I looked in the mirror and did not like who i saw. So I got back into the gym and my martial arts. Exercise is vital and i cannot stress just how much of a great impact, it can have on the body and mind...If done right...

 

[dpdx]

Tinnitus has ruined my life. All I have are these damn memories which shatter my soul each time I think of them. I wish I never lived through those amazing moments. I had an amazing life and I thought it would be endless. Just last year during this time, I graduated with two degrees and I thought that I have the whole world ahead of me. I was so optimistic...I thought nothing in the world can stop me. The world was my oyster. I was happy as a 27 year old to get out in the world and get a job. I wanted to learn a few other languages and travel the world. I went to bars, resturants, movie theaters, festivals, had no fear of diseases, no dark eye floaters, high blood pressure, insomnia, etc. I felt like a 27 year old and not a 73 year old who has multiple health issues. It was an AMAZING LIFE..AMAZINGGGG and every day when I woke up I thanked god for the life he gave me. I thanked for giving me so much and I prayed that it would stay. It is crazy because just last year during this time I was so optimistic about life and today I had dark thoughts about it. I wish I had 20 more years of that life and wouldnt mind dying of __________, just 20 more damn years is that too much to ask for? Well it all ended abruptly on Sep 23 and all I worked for is gone FOREVER. The major blow happened on Jan 15 when I did the caloric test which got me severe h and t which didnt improve one bit since. I accepted that fact that my life is ruined and I moved on. I dont cry no more because what the hell is the point, it is all nice memories, but now it is survival.. Sometimes I look back on the pictures to see how happy I was and say to myself "damn what if it stayed like that, what if severe T and H never came along, where would I be". Severe T and H ripped everything from me that I ever had, but like I said I am not sad anymore about it. It is life (c'est la vie) at least I had the chance to make some beautiful memories. Now I feel like a 72 year old trapped in a 28 year old's body. I have dark eye floaters, cant sleep at night, high blood pressure, etc. It is what it is we cant undo what has been done. I blame myself for not knowing about T and H, if knew what was in store for me I would have never listened to my damn IPOD. It breaks my heart to see how my friens are living their lives to the fullest, they are getting married, traveling, enjoying life, etc. Here I am no job, no nothing, etc but its ok its life, life is cruel and we have to get through it. My plan is to due whatever it takes to get my old life back, getting the treatments for T which are going to come out in 2020, the susan shore treatment and university of m. Those to are my key to bringing that old life back. It is not all doom and gloom as you can see, the key to bringing that happiness back lies in those treatments. I hope that those treatments reduce my tinnitus and I also hope that it can reduce to mild (where it was) previously and that Severe H goes away.

 

[monkey legs]

Hi TT,

It's Fish and I want to write a post and as usual share a part of my life that, can be helpful to those that have lost hope in life at times. I have had a bad couple of months and it led to depression (really bad) and that depression manifested itself into anxiety and it was a horrible feeling almost daily. I have had a stressful life, losing both parents, dealing with fibromyalgia/arthritis. Dealing with the madness that this intrusive tinnitus has brought into my life.

My eating habits have been very poor for the past 6 months, and I am usually a very fit person. Everything tied together landed me in the hospital for almost 1 week. My blood pressure was very high and very scary. I was given to either take BP meds or to not survive. It was one of the most HELLish times in my life. Everything was scary and even I at times was scared and lost hope.

I got out of the hospital and was forced to take a pill so i can live a longer life. I was taking the pill for 5 days and was not able to move off my couch. I was losing who i was as a person. Everything was changing, I was losing hope very fast. My tinnitus was ringing louder than ever. I saw no future, I saw nothing.

I really wanted to change my life and my situation (I have been kicked down many times in my life and I have always changed it). The pills were changing me as a person and I saw no future at all. I had lots of plans in my life but my affliction had a plan of it's own.

I went to my Dr and she was telling me that I am stuck in this situation for the rest of my life. I was like, no....I cannot live like this, I have plans and things I need to accomplish in my life. I still have lots to live for. She was like, well....I'm sorry but that's how things are going to be.

So I took another pill and I saw my life going further into a downward spiral. I knew that I had to change my life and take immediate action. I totally revamped my diet, I threw all the junk foods in my freezer out. I started to eat healthy from breakfast to dinner. I stopped eating any vitamin/food that were bad for my body and mind.

I have started to take more control of my stress and not allow unnecessary stress come into my life, this is crucial for those that suffer with tinnitus.

I took action and started to exercise more, and just start being healthier. Folks I did something else that I have not been able to do in almost 2+ years. Last night for the first time in almost 2+ years, I did not take a sleeping pill.

I share this post, not because I want to toot my horn. I share this because I want you to find hope. Even when you feel that life is going downward/backward. Even when you feel that the future is scary. DON'T EVER LOSE HOPE!

Always believe, yes.....believe. Everything is possible in the 1 life we have to live. I was admitted into the hospital for a VERY high blood pressure. 15 minutes ago I had a reading of 121/75 and a pulse of 65. I am off the BP med and will never take it again...

Folks this was never achievable for me, those numbers were never achievable for me . Everyone doubted me and said that I need to be on BP pills and my life would depend on it. I always believed in myself and wanted to live a better life and TOOK ACTION!

Beating the blood pressure issue and stopping my sleeping pill after almost 2+ years for me is kinda like a miracle but IF WE ARE DRIVEN, nothing can stop our desires.

My life has forever been changed since i came out that hospital. Folks life is hard, but we can slowly change it and make it better.

I hope my post inspired one person

You are an amazing person fishbone. Ive not been on this site for some time as I was staring to adapt quite well to my tinnitus. But just the other day I was breaking up some old CD's I didnt want and the cracking sound seemed to change the volume/tone of my Tinnitus.

I was so sad after just beginning to adapt. Reading your story here has given me some strength and new courage to adapt again.

Many thanks!

 

[Bill Bauer]

But just the other day I was breaking up some old CD's I didnt want and the cracking sound seemed to change the volume/tone of my Tinnitus.

There is still a good chance that this is a temporary spike and that you will feel better within the next 3 months or so. Having said this, I hope you will be more careful in the future.

 

[monkey legs]

Not to hi-jack the thread, but both of you guys should get checked for Lyme, as not only it is known to cause Tinnitus, it is a master at disquising itself to pass for fibremyalga, lupus, alzheimers..etc.
Do not use the Elisa test, as it is very inacurate and will most likely come back negative..try to find someone who does Vega testing.

Did you get tested for Lyme disease? what was the outcome?

Thanks.

 

[monkey legs]

There is still a good chance that this is a temporary spike and that you will feel better within the next 3 months or so. Having said this, I hope you will be more careful in the future.

Yes indeed. I didnt think a breaking CD would make such a sharp sound.

Thank you.

 

[Jazzer]

Tinnitus has ruined my life. All I have are these damn memories which shatter my soul each time I think of them. I wish I never lived through those amazing moments. I had an amazing life and I thought it would be endless. Just last year during this time, I graduated with two degrees and I thought that I have the whole world ahead of me. I was so optimistic...I thought nothing in the world can stop me. The world was my oyster. I was happy as a 27 year old to get out in the world and get a job. I wanted to learn a few other languages and travel the world. I went to bars, resturants, movie theaters, festivals, had no fear of diseases, no dark eye floaters, high blood pressure, insomnia, etc. I felt like a 27 year old and not a 73 year old who has multiple health issues. It was an AMAZING LIFE..AMAZINGGGG and every day when I woke up I thanked god for the life he gave me. I thanked for giving me so much and I prayed that it would stay. It is crazy because just last year during this time I was so optimistic about life and today I had dark thoughts about it. I wish I had 20 more years of that life and wouldnt mind dying of __________, just 20 more damn years is that too much to ask for? Well it all ended abruptly on Sep 23 and all I worked for is gone FOREVER. The major blow happened on Jan 15 when I did the caloric test which got me severe h and t which didnt improve one bit since. I accepted that fact that my life is ruined and I moved on. I dont cry no more because what the hell is the point, it is all nice memories, but now it is survival.. Sometimes I look back on the pictures to see how happy I was and say to myself "damn what if it stayed like that, what if severe T and H never came along, where would I be". Severe T and H ripped everything from me that I ever had, but like I said I am not sad anymore about it. It is life (c'est la vie) at least I had the chance to make some beautiful memories. Now I feel like a 72 year old trapped in a 28 year old's body. I have dark eye floaters, cant sleep at night, high blood pressure, etc. It is what it is we cant undo what has been done. I blame myself for not knowing about T and H, if knew what was in store for me I would have never listened to my damn IPOD. It breaks my heart to see how my friens are living their lives to the fullest, they are getting married, traveling, enjoying life, etc. Here I am no job, no nothing, etc but its ok its life, life is cruel and we have to get through it. My plan is to due whatever it takes to get my old life back, getting the treatments for T which are going to come out in 2020, the susan shore treatment and university of m. Those to are my key to bringing that old life back. It is not all doom and gloom as you can see, the key to bringing that happiness back lies in those treatments. I hope that those treatments reduce my tinnitus and I also hope that it can reduce to mild (where it was) previously and that Severe H goes away.

Dear dpdx - your story resonates with me.
So incredibly sad......and we are bound to grieve.
Our lost life is a berievement isn't it.

As a pro jazz musician for over 50 years, I lost my jazz, my passion, my artistry, my identity, my career - playing at International jazz festivals, jazz clubs, cruise ships, broadcasts, recordings, a week at the London Palladium etc.....all gone because of the aggressive volume of a friend of 30 years, who blasted into my face at point blank range.

Like you, I now have a massive challenge, a mountain to climb.

I NEED to put this incident behind me,
I NEED to make something good of the rest of my life,
I NEED to remember and celebrate my considerable achievements,
I NEED to come through all this shit to find the sunlight.

It feels like a massive undertaking.
I had one of those years ago, being born to a mentally ill mother, too ill to show me love.
Deeply schizoid, chronically depressed, with the help of psychotherapy, I eventually came through.

Well I have every intention of surviving this trauma as well.

So we need to grieve, but we then need to pick ourselves up, and against all the odds, we need to not only survive, but WIN.

Love
Dave
Jazzer
xx

 

[monkey legs]

Tinnitus has ruined my life. All I have are these damn memories which shatter my soul each time I think of them. I wish I never lived through those amazing moments. I had an amazing life and I thought it would be endless. Just last year during this time, I graduated with two degrees and I thought that I have the whole world ahead of me. I was so optimistic...I thought nothing in the world can stop me. The world was my oyster. I was happy as a 27 year old to get out in the world and get a job. I wanted to learn a few other languages and travel the world. I went to bars, resturants, movie theaters, festivals, had no fear of diseases, no dark eye floaters, high blood pressure, insomnia, etc. I felt like a 27 year old and not a 73 year old who has multiple health issues. It was an AMAZING LIFE..AMAZINGGGG and every day when I woke up I thanked god for the life he gave me. I thanked for giving me so much and I prayed that it would stay. It is crazy because just last year during this time I was so optimistic about life and today I had dark thoughts about it. I wish I had 20 more years of that life and wouldnt mind dying of __________, just 20 more damn years is that too much to ask for? Well it all ended abruptly on Sep 23 and all I worked for is gone FOREVER. The major blow happened on Jan 15 when I did the caloric test which got me severe h and t which didnt improve one bit since. I accepted that fact that my life is ruined and I moved on. I dont cry no more because what the hell is the point, it is all nice memories, but now it is survival.. Sometimes I look back on the pictures to see how happy I was and say to myself "damn what if it stayed like that, what if severe T and H never came along, where would I be". Severe T and H ripped everything from me that I ever had, but like I said I am not sad anymore about it. It is life (c'est la vie) at least I had the chance to make some beautiful memories. Now I feel like a 72 year old trapped in a 28 year old's body. I have dark eye floaters, cant sleep at night, high blood pressure, etc. It is what it is we cant undo what has been done. I blame myself for not knowing about T and H, if knew what was in store for me I would have never listened to my damn IPOD. It breaks my heart to see how my friens are living their lives to the fullest, they are getting married, traveling, enjoying life, etc. Here I am no job, no nothing, etc but its ok its life, life is cruel and we have to get through it. My plan is to due whatever it takes to get my old life back, getting the treatments for T which are going to come out in 2020, the susan shore treatment and university of m. Those to are my key to bringing that old life back. It is not all doom and gloom as you can see, the key to bringing that happiness back lies in those treatments. I hope that those treatments reduce my tinnitus and I also hope that it can reduce to mild (where it was) previously and that Severe H goes away.

I wish you all the best in your journey.

 

[Elfin]

@fishbone legend!

Thanks for the post and the inspiration. Your strength gives us strength.

Hope you are doing well and really appreciate the time and eloquence with which you give back!

 

[monkey legs]

Dear dpdx - your story resonates with me.
So incredibly sad......and we are bound to grieve.
Our lost life is a berievement isn't it.

As a pro jazz musician for over 50 years, I lost my jazz, my passion, my artistry, my identity, my career - playing at International jazz festivals, jazz clubs, cruise ships, broadcasts, recordings, a week at the London Palladium etc.....all gone because of the aggressive volume of a friend of 30 years, who blasted into my face at point blank range.

Like you, I now have a massive challenge, a mountain to climb.

I NEED to put this incident behind me,
I NEED to make something good of the rest of my life,
I NEED to remember and celebrate my considerable achievements,
I NEED to come through all this shit to find the sunlight.

It feels like a massive undertaking.
I had one of those years ago, being born to a mentally ill mother, too ill to show me love.
Deeply schizoid, chronically depressed, with the help of psychotherapy, I eventually came through.

Well I have every intention of surviving this trauma as well.

So we need to grieve, but we then need to pick ourselves up, and against all the odds, we need to not only survive, but WIN.

Love
Dave
Jazzer
xx

Good luck to you Jazzer.

 

[emmalee]

My plan is to due whatever it takes to get my old life back, getting the treatments for T which are going to come out in 2020, the susan shore treatment and university of m. Those to are my key to bringing that old life back. It is not all doom and gloom as you can see, the key to bringing that happiness back lies in those treatments. I hope that those treatments reduce my tinnitus and I also hope that it can reduce to mild (where it was) previously and that Severe H goes away.

All of this will come to you dpdx. I have faith that a cure is in our future. Never, ever lose your hope.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Do you think you might have been in less pain if you were to not do the above?

@fishbone has incredible positivity and determination. I sometimes wonder fishbone if you do too much? Perhaps @Bill Bauer has a point. Still you are an inspiration to me and I'm sure to many on this forum. You are a human fireball, as nothing seems to stop you and I mean that as a sincere compliment.

All the best
Michael

 

[Ed209]

Tinnitus has ruined my life. All I have are these damn memories which shatter my soul each time I think of them. I wish I never lived through those amazing moments. I had an amazing life and I thought it would be endless. Just last year during this time, I graduated with two degrees and I thought that I have the whole world ahead of me. I was so optimistic...I thought nothing in the world can stop me. The world was my oyster. I was happy as a 27 year old to get out in the world and get a job. I wanted to learn a few other languages and travel the world. I went to bars, resturants, movie theaters, festivals, had no fear of diseases, no dark eye floaters, high blood pressure, insomnia, etc. I felt like a 27 year old and not a 73 year old who has multiple health issues. It was an AMAZING LIFE..AMAZINGGGG and every day when I woke up I thanked god for the life he gave me. I thanked for giving me so much and I prayed that it would stay. It is crazy because just last year during this time I was so optimistic about life and today I had dark thoughts about it. I wish I had 20 more years of that life and wouldnt mind dying of __________, just 20 more damn years is that too much to ask for? Well it all ended abruptly on Sep 23 and all I worked for is gone FOREVER. The major blow happened on Jan 15 when I did the caloric test which got me severe h and t which didnt improve one bit since. I accepted that fact that my life is ruined and I moved on. I dont cry no more because what the hell is the point, it is all nice memories, but now it is survival.. Sometimes I look back on the pictures to see how happy I was and say to myself "damn what if it stayed like that, what if severe T and H never came along, where would I be". Severe T and H ripped everything from me that I ever had, but like I said I am not sad anymore about it. It is life (c'est la vie) at least I had the chance to make some beautiful memories. Now I feel like a 72 year old trapped in a 28 year old's body. I have dark eye floaters, cant sleep at night, high blood pressure, etc. It is what it is we cant undo what has been done. I blame myself for not knowing about T and H, if knew what was in store for me I would have never listened to my damn IPOD. It breaks my heart to see how my friens are living their lives to the fullest, they are getting married, traveling, enjoying life, etc. Here I am no job, no nothing, etc but its ok its life, life is cruel and we have to get through it. My plan is to due whatever it takes to get my old life back, getting the treatments for T which are going to come out in 2020, the susan shore treatment and university of m. Those to are my key to bringing that old life back. It is not all doom and gloom as you can see, the key to bringing that happiness back lies in those treatments. I hope that those treatments reduce my tinnitus and I also hope that it can reduce to mild (where it was) previously and that Severe H goes away.

As @Jazzer eloquently put it: life can deal us a bad deck of cards at any moment. It's how we learn to adapt during these difficult times that we often discover who we really are, and what we want in life. I find the eye floater thing interesting because a lot of people with T start to notice loads of floaters. I've had bad floaters since I was in junior school as I used to wonder what they were. I never really paid any attention to them until a friend of mine brought it up. It's amazing how you suddenly start seeing all these black squiggles again as the brain begins to focus on them. Especially around any white or pale walls.

The world is still your oyster dpdx. There is so much you can achieve and accomplish; the possibilities are near endless. The main problem is overcoming the anxiety and depression that comes along with T. It's incredibly difficult, but not impossible. Once you learn to accept it you can move forward with your life and begin to accomplish all the things you've always dreamed about. I've always strived to turn negative situations into positive ones. I take all my negative energy and I use it to do all the things that I never got round to. That way I know I can blame my problems for making certain dreams come true.

It's a tough road ahead, but know that you are not walking alone. There are millions of us walking by your side who feel, or have felt, every inch of the pain that you are feeling right now. Don't let your catastrophic thoughts consume you.

 

[Jazzer]

As @Jazzer eloquently put it: life can deal us a bad deck of cards at any moment. It's how we learn to adapt during these difficult times that we often discover who we really are, and what we want in life. I find the eye floater thing interesting because a lot of people with T start to notice loads of floaters. I've had bad floaters since I was in junior school as I used to wonder what they were. I never really paid any attention to them until a friend of mine brought it up. It's amazing how you suddenly start seeing all these black squiggles again as the brain begins to focus on them. Especially around any white or pale walls.

The world is still your oyster dpdx. There is so much you can achieve and accomplish; the possibilities are near endless. The main problem is overcoming the anxiety and depression that comes along with T. It's incredibly difficult, but not impossible. Once you learn to accept it you can move forward with your life and begin to accomplish all the things you've always dreamed about. I've always strived to turn negative situations into positive ones. I take all my negative energy and I use it to do all the things that I never got round to. That way I know I can blame my problems for making certain dreams come true.

It's a tough road ahead, but know that you are not walking alone. There are millions of us walking by your side who feel, or have felt, every inch of the pain that you are feeling right now. Don't let your catastrophic thoughts consume you.

There is one fantastic message within these words. x

 

[dpdx]

As @Jazzer eloquently put it: life can deal us a bad deck of cards at any moment. It's how we learn to adapt during these difficult times that we often discover who we really are, and what we want in life. I find the eye floater thing interesting because a lot of people with T start to notice loads of floaters. I've had bad floaters since I was in junior school as I used to wonder what they were. I never really paid any attention to them until a friend of mine brought it up. It's amazing how you suddenly start seeing all these black squiggles again as the brain begins to focus on them. Especially around any white or pale walls.

The world is still your oyster dpdx. There is so much you can achieve and accomplish; the possibilities are near endless. The main problem is overcoming the anxiety and depression that comes along with T. It's incredibly difficult, but not impossible. Once you learn to accept it you can move forward with your life and begin to accomplish all the things you've always dreamed about. I've always strived to turn negative situations into positive ones. I take all my negative energy and I use it to do all the things that I never got round to. That way I know I can blame my problems for making certain dreams come true.

It's a tough road ahead, but know that you are not walking alone. There are millions of us walking by your side who feel, or have felt, every inch of the pain that you are feeling right now. Don't let your catastrophic thoughts consume you.

When you have Severe H and T it becomes debilitating. I had dark thoughts yesterday and I thought about ending it all in 5 years or so if there is no cure or treatment. It is like what is the point I am just wasting my time. I cant focus or concentrate. Reading a book or a news article online has become difficult. It is scary because I had Tinnitus since Sep 23 of last year, it was mild in the beginning and quite tolerable. However, I still couldn't do things that regular people to, like go to the café or the mall or resturant, then after I did the caloric test it turned to severe t which remained same since. I also obtained severe H which also hasn't improved not one bit. The sound of my own voice hurts me and other peoples as well. I have to make an appointment with my doc to see what I can do about this. It has been since Jan 15 since Severe T and H and today is June 2 and I haven't noticed not one slight improvement. What keeps me optimistic are those treatments, respectively the Susan Shore device and University of Minnesota. Some hope still lingers that T will reduce to where it was and that Severe H will vanish, however if nothing happens I see no point of living with this for my entire life. The fact that I have Severe H adds on to my misery with Severe ,T, it is a combination that really inhibits any joy or prosperity. I hardly sleep anymore and never in my life have I had issues with high blood pressure and now I do. My blood pressure is high for my age 132/85. Mind you last year during this time I was very healthy and optimistic about life. If I had one wish it would be to have 20-25 years of T and H free life. Just 20 damn years, there is so much still to experience.... I promised myself I will do whatever it takes to bring my old life back, to bring that happiness back once again.

 

[Suzerman]

Tinnitus has ruined my life. All I have are these damn memories which shatter my soul each time I think of them. I wish I never lived through those amazing moments. I had an amazing life and I thought it would be endless. Just last year during this time, I graduated with two degrees and I thought that I have the whole world ahead of me. I was so optimistic...I thought nothing in the world can stop me. The world was my oyster. I was happy as a 27 year old to get out in the world and get a job. I wanted to learn a few other languages and travel the world. I went to bars, resturants, movie theaters, festivals, had no fear of diseases, no dark eye floaters, high blood pressure, insomnia, etc. I felt like a 27 year old and not a 73 year old who has multiple health issues. It was an AMAZING LIFE..AMAZINGGGG and every day when I woke up I thanked god for the life he gave me. I thanked for giving me so much and I prayed that it would stay. It is crazy because just last year during this time I was so optimistic about life and today I had dark thoughts about it. I wish I had 20 more years of that life and wouldnt mind dying of __________, just 20 more damn years is that too much to ask for? Well it all ended abruptly on Sep 23 and all I worked for is gone FOREVER. The major blow happened on Jan 15 when I did the caloric test which got me severe h and t which didnt improve one bit since. I accepted that fact that my life is ruined and I moved on. I dont cry no more because what the hell is the point, it is all nice memories, but now it is survival.. Sometimes I look back on the pictures to see how happy I was and say to myself "damn what if it stayed like that, what if severe T and H never came along, where would I be". Severe T and H ripped everything from me that I ever had, but like I said I am not sad anymore about it. It is life (c'est la vie) at least I had the chance to make some beautiful memories. Now I feel like a 72 year old trapped in a 28 year old's body. I have dark eye floaters, cant sleep at night, high blood pressure, etc. It is what it is we cant undo what has been done. I blame myself for not knowing about T and H, if knew what was in store for me I would have never listened to my damn IPOD. It breaks my heart to see how my friens are living their lives to the fullest, they are getting married, traveling, enjoying life, etc. Here I am no job, no nothing, etc but its ok its life, life is cruel and we have to get through it. My plan is to due whatever it takes to get my old life back, getting the treatments for T which are going to come out in 2020, the susan shore treatment and university of m. Those to are my key to bringing that old life back. It is not all doom and gloom as you can see, the key to bringing that happiness back lies in those treatments. I hope that those treatments reduce my tinnitus and I also hope that it can reduce to mild (where it was) previously and that Severe H goes away.

I know exactly how you feel. I can't say much about the tinnitus, because mine is very mild so far and I thank god every day for that too. However, I do know a thing or two about intrusive eye floaters. I got mine when I was 16... Yep.. 16 years old! The Dr back then told me there was nothing I could do and I just had to live with it. I have an entire cobweb of black spots strings, all brown and it has been like that since I was 16 years old. They haven't really gotten better, but I definitely have. You might not believe it but I did get over them and they do not bother me as much anymore. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely moments still where I really wish I didn't have these fuckers, but somehow I got over it, and you will too. It took me three good years to notice them less, but it is definitely possible. Just don't lose hope! And don't forget there are treatments out there if it gets too bad. There's a vitrectomy, as well as laser treatment. Hang in there, you will get through it!

 

[dpdx]

I know exactly how you feel. I can't say much about the tinnitus, because mine is very mild so far and I thank god every day for that too. However, I do know a thing or two about intrusive eye floaters. I got mine when I was 16... Yep.. 16 years old! The Dr back then told me there was nothing I could do and I just had to live with it. I have an entire cobweb of black spots strings, all brown and it has been like that since I was 16 years old. They haven't really gotten better, but I definitely have. You might not believe it but I did get over them and they do not bother me as much anymore. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely moments still where I really wish I didn't have these fuckers, but somehow I got over it, and you will too. It took me three good years to notice them less, but it is definitely possible. Just don't lose hope! And don't forget there are treatments out there if it gets too bad. There's a vitrectomy, as well as laser treatment. Hang in there, you will get through it!

I have no issues with eye floaters but I do with Severe hyperacusis and severe tinnitus. My quality of life is diminished.

 

[Suzerman]

I have no issues with eye floaters but I do with Severe hyperacusis and severe tinnitus. My quality of life is diminished.

I understand, I was just commenting on the eye floaters because i have aalot of experience with them. I have both mild tinnitus and hyperacusis so I can completely understand how it would. My hyperacusis was quite severe a few months ago, where people's voices hurt my ears. Yet at the same time I had to work in a loud environment it was really tough and still is. I was also very depressed and even had suicidal thoughts. I tried pink noise therapy for it, and exposing my ears to more and more noise slightly. My ears are definitely not back to how they once were, but at least they have gotten a lot better. Hopefully a similar approach might help you too.

 

[dpdx]

I understand, I was just commenting on the eye floaters because i have aalot of experience with them. I have both mild tinnitus and hyperacusis so I can completely understand how it would. My hyperacusis was quite severe a few months ago, where people's voices hurt my ears. Yet at the same time I had to work in a loud environment it was really tough and still is. I was also very depressed and even had suicidal thoughts. I tried pink noise therapy for it, and exposing my ears to more and more noise slightly. My ears are definitely not back to how they once were, but at least they have gotten a lot better. Hopefully a similar approach might help you too.

How did you get T and H? Acoustic trauma?

 

[Suzerman]

How did you get T and H? Acoustic trauma?

To this day Im still trying to figure it out. Because I just randomly started to get fleeting tinnitus episodes at night, and then the static hissing just kind of appeared But from what I can tell my tinnitus seems to be related to my neck, jaw and posture, as well as some slight issues with inverted ears and eustachian tube problems. My tinnitus happened after a serious period of stress and anxiety, and I think I must have clenched and tensed up during that time which caused it. I also have tmj