1. Loosing parents is difficult. Sometimes, looking back on my life, thus far, it all seems surreal. I did what my mom wanted, although, I think, I would have liked it in hindsight, to have put her is a hospice facility, not totally in her home. That was my sister's choice, since she was the health proxy, or whatever the correct word is. I actually wound up in the hospital with anxiety attack. It was so hard to give her morphine and all the other drugs. It was just plain hard. But, we got through it. I had very special moments with her, that I may not say I had the same growing up with her. It had its good points and difficult points.
2. I was a professional designer most of my life. I used to design wallcoverings and textiles. So, I have been drawing since I left home at 19. Probably the reason why my eyes are blown out. LOL. OMG! Most of my life I did traditional art, all mediums. What you see are foxtails. I originally photographed them from my friend's yard. I use a digital program called Artrage 4. It is a software program that enables the artist to use tools that look and feel like traditional ones. The beauty of this is that I can enlarge the work as I go along, to compensate for my eye strain. I wish I had this program when I had my own business, because back then, everything was drawn by hand and all errors had to be redrawn. No computer. I have a website with some of my work on it. It is my most favorite thing to do. I love doing portraits. Thank you for your comments. I am humbled. I love that you play piano. Wow. You are certainly talented, to say the least. I banged around on one, as my parents had one. My dad bought it for mom when she was about 24 or so. My sister took it when she passed.
3. I really like your description of the foxgloves. I thought how majestic they are and all they needed was a sky. But it is symbolic of spiritual things. I am spiritual, i deplore all of the so called right roaders to god. I am spiritual in another sense.
4. I usually don't see the floaters anymore unless I go outside after a snowfall. Or I open the shades in the morning. I keep the light down low on the computer. Thank god my left eye is still ok. I have a cataract in the right too. Dr said she would do surgery but I have been putting that off. I fear the laser may mess up the ameba. But then again, it could make it better. Not yet ready for that risk.
5. Here is a portrait I did of Marilyn Monroe. It took several months. This was done in Adobe Illustrator. This is when I started the eye floaters. I left this for a long time as I thought maybe straining did this. I don't know. When we have these peculiar things happen to us we don't know what to think especially since the Dr seems to always say "Everyone gets these. Live with it" I thought, really. Everyone gets these things?????? "How 'bout you Doc, do you have them!?"
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In order to respond to you and keep it straight, I added numbers to your paragraphs - age-related screw ups and how to avoid them. First - I spent my career in IT. Later roles were in management. I was used to taking control (only where needed) but I was also the only one in my family, it appeared, who could do it. Family helped but the major decision were left to me. I could do them and collapse (literally) later.
I'm sorry you had an anxiety attack. I had one ONCE in NYC and I had to refocus and ground myself. I found a guy with a dog being walked. I knew it would help reorient me. It was scary, though.
1. I was the protector of my parent's wishes. (Like your sister being the health care proxy (you got that right) but mom didn't have one.)
-- In the same year mom died, my "stepmother" was in the hospital in Evanston, IL and my youngest sis flew in from Guam (she was in the Air Force) to make decisions. I flew in from NY/NJ. She was being led by my brother back near east whose only focus was telling my 16 year younger sis what to do. I called him and yelled at him (it was a firm voice - I can count the # of times I've really yelled on my hands) to stay out of it, he doesn't know what M looked like (I didn't recognize her and she was on a ventilator). The nurses came to me because no DNR had been signed, the results of which were ... I'd say terrifying to them. I stopped it and talked to my little sis. My bro butted out. My sis gathered friends around the bed, told stories and memories, and her mom flat-lined. It was weird...
-- My own mom hadn't assigned a proxy either but I remember standing in front of mom in the hospital where my older sister was talking about mom continuing to take vitamins and stuff. I told her to STOP, it was too late. ... I also called my bro again from a payphone in NJ and said the same thing.
-- Dad ... It was easier and this time I was the health care proxy (finally). He didn't want to go into a nursing home and this time, I had to debate my 1 year younger sis to give it up - she wanted him to go into a rehab center. For what? He died maybe a month later.
2. Okay! I worked on computers all my life and had no clue! But it was fun trying to fit in in the various molds I knew. I know what foxtails are but they're not part of my normal vocabulary. We're in Asheville and I think a lot of work sold here is produced using a computer. My partner upgraded to a Canon D70 - something like that - and she used Lightbox for a while. It's mind-boggling how you can turn a photo into a drawing. I grew up with all the things my mom created with her pastels (portraits and violent storms at sea) and charcoal. She created great portraits. Her full bodies were never in proportion. When we packed up from NY to move here, I gave my older sis "Blue Man." It was charcoal on blue drawing paper. He had his arms on his waist and his head and upper body were slightly turned. The muscles were great and it was special to all of us. Mom did Vernon Jordan - a portrait of charcoal on a beige'ish drawing paper. It was 3D work and I'll never understand how she created the face coming off the paper. I sent Mr. Jordan a photo of it and asked if he wanted it. They paid for shipping and last I heard it was in his conference room. No need to be humbled by what I said. I write truths. It was gorgeous and a challenge for figuring the medium
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-- I could somewhat play piano (I heard something and could poorly recreate it) but besides viola (the cross between a violin (too high pitched) and cello, my odd instrument of choice was the harmonica. But again, I grew up in a family where music was a focal point. My bro (the dope who I yelled at) but he actually helped my dad using non-traditional treatment combined with lighter doses of Western treatments and he really was and remains a brainiac without knowing his limitations. He had a full scholarship to Julliard but his love was acting and singing. Dad won and lost - my bro went to Julliard (he played Peter and the Wolf and Rhapsody in Blue easily on our grand piano and I'd sit next to him in love with the music) and he dropped out. Oh, yes, and his main instrument was the string bass - he won awards with that.
3. We're in Asheville, a mecca of spirituality and healing. I'm spiritual in a sense and my partner is much more so than. But, we mix traditions to suit us. A yarhzite candle burns now since her stepfather just passed away. We do this by mom's interpretation, not as the Jewish religion dictates. I asked my partner if she wanted to light one. Yes, so I rushed out to buy a couple. We have another friend, going through traditional medical hell, who was fit and active and a retired Colonel at West Point. R knew the treatments at Sloane-Kettering might kill her (horrendous watching this from far away) and I'm prepared because while she left, she was rushed back and isn't able to eat. Excuse me but writing this just makes me feel a bit like crap.
4. I wondered if you saw floaters due to the intensity of the light on the snow. I asked my opthamologist if the pieces of retina (bugs) could be removed and it was recommended I not do this because it could do more harm than good. One honest answer from a local doctor, thank goodness.
5. I am the only one I know personally who has amoebas and bugs running in my eyes. Not everyone has them and for me, it wasn't age-related. GOOOOOOD COMEBACK TO YOUR DOC! Really, that's great.
-- I mix spirituality under the guise of religion in analogies as they make sense and it made complete sense to me in your image of the foxtails. They're almost intertwined. The other non-religious analogy works, too. for me. They are reaching to the sky. The faint softening of detail of the flowers inside and out reaching upwards threw me... too soft for so many mediums and so pretty that I couldn't figure it out other than it's beautiful.
-- I'm blown away by Marilyn. We watched a series on tv (didn't last long but I was hooked) about the cast doing a song and dance about Marilyn with all the usual drama around the show.
-- ? - Why the slightly pinkish hue around her hair? I have to keep scrolling up and clicking on it. It's beautiful, sexy, and a little sad that I see in her somewhat vacant (but gorgeous) eyes. It reflects what I know about her life. So, that makes it also awesome. That's what it evokes in me.
. Like 40 dots and lines moving in the field of vision, was a little bit down about it for a while but nothing compared to T. Floaters you can escape but i must admit that a snowy sunny bright day can be hard
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