Hi... Tinnitus Is Insane!

[Geekysugar]

Hi everyone! I've been lurking here for a while now so I'll introduce myself

My tinnitus started back in the middle of November. At the time I was taking Diazepam as a muscle relaxant for a few other problems I was having and my doctor recommended Gabapentin. I took 1 single 300 mg dose. The next day I started hearing a faint ringing sound in my ear and was experiencing fullness in the ear. I thought it was nothing.

As the days progressed, the ringing got louder. I suspended the medication a week later. I went to various ENTs and everything seemed fine. I had about 3 tests (in different weeks) to check my hearing and my hearing was perfect. I had an MRI done and it turns out I have Chiari Malformation, which is a herniation of the cerebellum. It can cause all of my symptoms but there is no way to know if Chiari is the culprit or the meds.

It has been almosy 2 months since the tinnitus started. I have a static like tone along with bell like ringing in my right ear and a high pitch tone in my left. I also have a clogged right ear, hyperacusis in the right ear, and this weird movement in my right ear everytime there is a semi loud sound. I started CBT about 2 weeks ago. But I am in full panic mode.

I hate to admit that I want to die. It is all I think about. I can't sleep, even though I'm using sound therapy at night. I have anxiety and panic attacks. I moved back to my parents house because I cant be alone. I'm scared that the hyperacusis will get worse. I'm scared that the tinnitus will get worse by taking a single pill of anything. I'm scared of having tinnitus for the rest of my life.

I guess what I need is words of support. I've read so much on it and all the info has really affected me mentally. I really want to learn how to cope and live a normal life again.

So I guess that is my introduction...so hi!

 

[Bill Bauer]

I guess what I need is words of support.

Many people whose T is a result of taking an ototoxic drug, end up hearing silence again. Ears take forever to heal, so T doesn't stop on the day you stop taking a drug. It can take many months for it to fade.

Have you experienced any fading, compared to how it was a month ago?

Check out the studies linked in the thread below.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/spontaneous-recovery-stats-many-recover-3-studies.21441/
You will see that there is still a good chances that your T will eventually fade. Unfortunately, it could take a year or two.

I also have a clogged right ear

This is often referred to as "ear fullness". It is a sign that your ear got hurt. It is even more likely to disappear than tinnitus. About a year from now, it should be gone.

this weird movement in my right ear everytime there is a semi loud sound

Sounds like Tonic Tensor Tympani Syndrome (TTTS. Just like ear fullness, it will likely no longer be a problem in about a year.

I hate to admit that I want to die. It is all I think about.

Many of us have been there. The first three months after onset are the worst. First of all even if T sticks around, what you are hearing now is likely not what you will end up being stuck with. Many people for whom T doesn't go away, find that their emotional reaction to it stops being so extreme. This happens at around 18-24 months mark.

I'm scared that the tinnitus will get worse by taking a single pill of anything.

I have been reading this forum for the past 23 months, and I can tell you that the scenario above is very rare (although of course its probability is not zero). You can reduce the probability of this happening to you if you consult
http://hlaa-sbc.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Ototoxic_Brochure.pdf
whenever a doctor gives a new prescription to you.

I believe that you might find some of the information on
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...eone-else-who-has-tinnitus.26850/#post-307822
to be useful to you.

 

[MikeS]

You are just two months into it, and that's a time when many people become the most anxious. It's a time when people realize that it might not just "go away" and their anxiety kicks into high gear. It's good to get checked out, but doctor appointments and tests also add to the stress. Just know, a lot of people have traveled down this road, and it does get better over time. Eventually, you stop fighting the noise, and learn to accept it. It becomes more familiar to you. Just like you are accustomed to silence, and miss it -- eventually, you become accustomed to the noise. In the meantime, focus on those things that you can control -- sleep and exercise -- it may not cure your tinnitus, but it will help you feel better nonetheless.

Also, ambient external sounds are super, super helpful. When you sit in quiet, then you tend to focus on the noise in your head, which sucks. If I'm in a quiet office setting, I use ambient techno music that I love -- it's a real life saver for me. I like music from Aes Dana because it helps me work (I'm a software developer) -- but to each their own.

 

[Geekysugar]

Thank you for your replies.
@Bill Bauer I appreciate the links of the studies. I hadnt been able to find a lot of information on the numbers of people who actually get better.
I havent experienced any improvement or change in the tinnitus. It does seem like the hyperacusis is worse on some days then it gets better. Is it normal for the ear fullness and TTTS to come and go? Is there anything I can do to help my ear heal?
The ototoxic medication list is crazy. Up to now I had been checking a pdf list from hearinglosshelp.com but basically every medication in the world is there.
Thank you!

@MikeS thanks for your reply! Yeah, it has been crazy. I tell myself that a lot of people have gone through this and that I can too. It is easy to be logical about it when you cant hear the tinnitus but once I hear it, it is another story. And I will try to use more sound therapy during the day. I do tend to sit in silence and for some reason torture myself by fixating on the tinnitus
Thanks for your help!

 

[billie48]

I hate to admit that I want to die. It is all I think about. I can't sleep, even though I'm using sound therapy at night. I have anxiety and panic attacks. I moved back to my parents house because I cant be alone. I'm scared that the hyperacusis will get worse. I'm scared that the tinnitus will get worse by taking a single pill of anything. I'm scared of having tinnitus for the rest of my life.

Warm welcome to the forum. The above quoted feelings are something I went through when my tinnitus was new. Yes, I also have had bad hyperacusis like you. My ultra high pitched loud T plus severe H turned me into a mess mentally and physically. Don't feel bad about wanting to die. Many of us went through those dark thoughts during the darkest time. So you are just being normal in your reaction to intrusive tinnitus. I had relentless anxiety and panic attacks daily and I had to use drugs just to survive each day. I never thought I would recover and see good life again. But today I live a normal, happy, productive and absolutely enjoyable life. I am actually writing you while I am still on an extended vacation in warm Florida, USA. So never say never and don't worry about the future. I made the mistake of projecting a miserable, suffering future and I suffered badly unnecessarily. I wrote my success story and share many helpful strategies. Check it out see if they can help you.
Take care. God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

[Contrast]

Hello, Recent research indicates that hearing test used at most audiology clinics and ENTs are extremely inaccurate, they only test for hearing loss within the human voice range, learn more here about hidden hearing loss

http://hyperacusisfocus.org/innerear/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378595516302507