How to Be with Someone Having Tinnitus?

Took three online tests - no Autism, no Aspergers.


I used to have a self-diagnosed anxiety disorder. Not sure whether I still have it, as I changed my life in such a way that there are not too many things to be anxious about.

I wouldn't take any online test as gospel to be honest, have you ever seen a professional in regards to your anxiety/issues with intimacy? I was just curious Bill hope I haven't offended you as it seems to be easy to do on this forum.
 
your anxiety/issues with intimacy
I don't have any issues with intimacy. It is not something that I need, but that means that I am at an advantage -> one less thing to work on in order to be happy. The way I see it, it would make sense for the others to get treatment to become like me.

Sorry, it was not an anxiety disorder, it was an Avoidant Personality Disorder. I don't consider it to be a disorder, and to me trying to treat it (basically to get me to force myself to do the things that I don't want to be doing) is akin to "conversion therapy."
I was just curious Bill hope I haven't offended you as it seems to be easy to do on this forum.
You haven't.
 
He has chronic pain and I think that is the reason he has a hard time empathizing with people whose suffering is less than his. I had a relapse of my ocd last year and I think he has contempt for mental illness. To him, it is mental weakness. Now that I have H in my bad ear from a noise exposure, he regards it as unreal because of my ocd. Instead of us drawing closer to each other and supporting each other, we are a million miles apart.

So so sad SM.
Having had a desperately lonely childhood, I grew up with chronic schizoid/depression.
A year with a psychiatrist, and drug treatment, that made me much worse, then a few years with a psychotherapist, that put me on the right lines.
Now married to an angel.

Now I have to say that I feel for your partner, and his pain. Really distressing.
Presumably he realises that you are 'miles apart,' and that the relationship could be much better.
You would think that a sincere 'heart to heart' would get through.
We all need to find comfort.
Best wishes SM,
Jazzer
Dave x
 
The immediate sense that I was talking to a misogynistic sociopath.
As part of my quest to help others, I plead with you to talk about your views of what makes one "a misogynist" early on in all of your future relationships. Doing so will minimize a chance that you will waste a lot of your time being around "a misogynist," and it will give the men a chance to realize what a colossal, mind-numbing mistake they are about to make.
 
Now that I know that you're a self-righteous MGTOW who spends his life on the tinnitus support forum? Never.

I agree with a lot of what @Bill Bauer says on this particular issue. MGTOW is the way to go if a man doesn't want to risk losing everything he has financially and materially because of the judicial system, that is heavily biased against a man and most women of today know this.
 
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find women that have weird hobbies, like hippie stuff, nature, there culture or that have genuine mental problems.
avoid ones that don't.

That's just my advise on the matter. coming from a guy with BPD.
 
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Indeed I have and a prenup can be overturned by a judge and it often is. I live in the UK and a prenup isn't valid here. People can sign a prenup if they wish but it is not valid and will find this out if they divorce.

Well, for those reasons I would be inclined to agree with the 'Men Going Their Own Way' if their philosophies didn't so frequently overlap with MRA and woman-hating beliefs and attitudes. I had a very bad model of marriage from my parents and would personally never want to get my finances mixed up with a man's or have to depend on him for anything. However, my parents had friends who seemed to be a very healthy model of marriage - they both worked, lived out in the woods, had no kids, just a dog, traveled and went on adventures together, and seemed to genuinely enjoy each other's company. I would think a lot of men and women still want a partnership like that in life whether you bring marriage into it or not. But it seems like instead everyone's just 'going their own way' completely.
 
However, my parents had friends who seemed to be a very healthy model of marriage - they both worked, lived out in the woods, had no kids, just a dog, traveled and went on adventures together, and seemed to genuinely enjoy each other's company. I would think a lot of men and women still want a partnership like that in life whether you bring marriage into it or not. But it seems like instead everyone's just 'going their own way' completely.

I fully agree with what you have said in the above quote. My late parents were happily married for 46 years. Unfortunately, I have read too many stories in the press, online and know men that have been financially ruined because the judicial system is heavily biased against them in divorce. Have you watched Divorce corp? It is a US documentary online or can be purchased on DVD about your divorce court system. A frightening revelation to say the least and our divorce system is very similar. Please try to see this documentary if you haven't: https://documentaryvine.com/video/divorce-corp/

I do not agree with some of MGTOW attitudes of hating women and the derogatory terminology they use to describe them. That is definitely not what I am about and would never support it.

I wish you well.
Michael
 
Dear All,

I had some quite short relationships since having my tinnitus and hyperacusis...

Everytime at the beginning women seem ok with this problem and apparently don't know what it really means as complications in the "everyday life"...

But quite fast after even not a few months, they see how limited my life is and that almost everything begins to be complicated because of noise everywhere !

So my question is: How do you manage a life with someone who wants to go out, to watch movies quite loud at the theater of at home, go to concerts or music festivals or even "less" loud events, etc...?

Because to me it seems more realistic to live on my own... But at the age of 31 it's a fucking long way!

Hey, your about the same age as me, I also want to get out and do stuff but can't start adjusting other peaple to not make noise that much.
A couple weeks ago I bought elektronic earplugs (Etymotic Music Pro) That block sound higher then 85db but make normal sounds go trough. So it feels like your wearing nothing but it does block dangerous sounds when doing outgoing things... The thing is 85db still make me squint because of the volume. To counter this I got the best noise canceling foam eartips I can find (Comply max isolation foam earplugs) to block even more sound then the plugs where designed to.
It does seem to give me a lot of quiet of mind when I wear them because im safe from loud sounds... while I wear them. Especially since hearing damage is viewed as a joke by most standard people around.
I was dating a girl a while ago who just tought I was kidding when I said I had trouble with loud sounds and just blurted stuff out loudly to get my attention. But to wear just the foam and keep plugging it in and out all day gets scary and annoying so I found my sollution I think. Im still testing but I do feel like a 'normal non H having' person while wearing it. Like if a door slams shut or someone shouts I feel safe with these, you only might get some people asking what 'that' is in your ears and thats it.

find women that have weird hobbies, like hippie stuff, nature, there culture or that have genuine mental problems.
avoid ones that don't.

That's just my advise on the matter. coming from a guy with BPD.

I see that as a problem to avoid rather then something to go for. Not long ago I dated a rich women who paid everything for me like expensive dinners and stuff, kinda weard right? She was kinda weard and I just dated her for the free exlusive dinners at restaurants... with wine and excelent desserts..... but then again the woman was no fun.
 
Why is every girl so loud in america?

Most quiet simple girls are better women simply because they value peace and silence and the simple pleasures in life.

If this response receives negative and mean comments by women i'm sorry but point proven.
 
Hey, your about the same age as me, I also want to get out and do stuff but can't start adjusting other peaple to not make noise that much.
A couple weeks ago I bought elektronic earplugs (Etymotic Music Pro) That block sound higher then 85db but make normal sounds go trough. So it feels like your wearing nothing but it does block dangerous sounds when doing outgoing things... The thing is 85db still make me squint because of the volume. To counter this I got the best noise canceling foam eartips I can find (Comply max isolation foam earplugs) to block even more sound then the plugs where designed to.
It does seem to give me a lot of quiet of mind when I wear them because im safe from loud sounds... while I wear them. Especially since hearing damage is viewed as a joke by most standard people around.
I was dating a girl a while ago who just tought I was kidding when I said I had trouble with loud sounds and just blurted stuff out loudly to get my attention. But to wear just the foam and keep plugging it in and out all day gets scary and annoying so I found my sollution I think. Im still testing but I do feel like a 'normal non H having' person while wearing it. Like if a door slams shut or someone shouts I feel safe with these, you only might get some people asking what 'that' is in your ears and thats it.

Hello John,

Thank you for your answer.

It seems interesting your electronic earplugs, could you provide me the brand by PM ?

Thank you in advance.

Best

Christophe
 
Why is every girl so loud in america?

Most quiet simple girls are better women simply because they value peace and silence and the simple pleasures in life.

If this response receives negative and mean comments by women i'm sorry but point proven.

The problem is that everyone wants to enjoy life, and it means going to very loud places or just even going to the Movies... Already so loud, this is over for me !

Not mentionning the parties, the summer festivals, pubs, and many very loud hobbies !
 
Wouldn't it be lovely if we had a couple of TT members whom fell in love and got maried...
Tinnitus wouldn't stand a chance ......
Just give me time buy a hat.
love glynis x
 
Thank you but it doesn't change anything about the fact that I cannot share a normal relationship...

Too much things to do that are way too loud !

Yeah I understand.

You are single and still young and most of your crowd is out there doing loud events and so on.
But there are girls out there that may like a quieter style.

Do not become a bitter old man like some are. Relationships are out there and not every woman is out for a man's wallet or being constantly out in those louder events.

Maybe those electronic earplugs will be a solution?
 

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