Kinda, mgtow is kind an extension of red pill. I'm not mgtow but I respect people that do and fully understand why.
How to Be with Someone Having Tinnitus?
- Thread starter Christophe_85
- Start date
Kinda, mgtow is kind an extension of red pill. I'm not mgtow but I respect people that do and fully understand why.
You're not sobering, that's the world we live in. We live in a feminist society. This is a tinnitus board so I won't bore people with mgtow and redpil but good to know there are other individuals here who share the same thoughts.
MemberIndeed @orbiter12 Men are not going to tolerate it. I have no intention of allowing the government/state to take away all I've got and leave me a pauper. I have learnt a lot from MGTOW
Michael
Of course Lex ! But I want to believe that men are more comprehensive and accept more effort than women... No ?
Ah I can see why you're having struggles. Maybe it's better off you're not with someone, as other men here have advised you.
Red
Member
It is very disappointing to see stuff like this posted on this forum, a tinnitus support forum.
I would like to suggest that male users remember that female users also browse, lurk, and post here. For example, would you appreciate it if someone kept referring to you in the third person while you were standing right there?
Red
Member
I have a few things to offer on this matter:
1. As a couple of other posters have suggested, try looking for women who are introverted. It is simply not true that even a majority of women want to go clubbing or partying at your age. However, because introverts often enjoy being alone, they are not as easy to find, and therefore less visible. Try using some dating websites…
2.… Pick up some new hobbies! If you want to find someone who is quiet and introverted then you will probably want to pick up some quiet hobbies. Books, video games, puzzles, board games, crafts, nature etc.
3. Find quiet venues. Look for that mom-and-pop restaurant that needs some business, go on dates during non-peak hours. Suggest alternatives. Favorite restaurant too busy? How about a "to go order" in the park? So maybe you can't go to the movies but if you get creative you can turn a mundane moment into a memorable occasion. If you tell someone you can't do something because of your chronic condition without suggesting other things to do, then of course the relationship won't work.
4. Honestly, just live life. It is hard but we have to chisel out some happiness for us. When we are happy, other people respond to that energy. There is a time for worries and tears but it is hard to be with someone if we don't even try to be happy.
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
If I were in a room, and some female strangers where to talk about men in general, even though I am "standing right there", I would not care. I would certainly not be offended.
If the information is false, it shouldn't be posted. If there is something to it, then whether or not it is appropriate to post it shouldn't be questioned.
Wow - this is the first time I am witnessing someone being a "white knight"! I heard a lot about this phenomenon, and this is my chance to experience it for myself. (Or are you a woman, Red?)
Red
Member
I don't regard many people here as strangers, as I think there is a bit of camaraderie here, especially with the active members. (You included Bill) It is inevitable that a clashing of opinions is going to happen so I try to keep my focus on tinnitus. I suppose right now I'm doing the opposite, against my judgment.
It is very much human nature to shrug off criticism if it is directed at oneself.
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
I really hope that none of my posts had caused any distress to you, Red.
I strongly feel that those ideas (MGTOW, etc.) are being suppressed. So I perceived seeing one post about those ideas here as a breath of fresh air.
I strongly feel that those ideas (MGTOW, etc.) are being suppressed. So I perceived seeing one post about those ideas here as a breath of fresh air.
You know, I can see the sense behind MGTOW. We support women who say "I don't need a man to be happy" so I don't see what's wrong with supporting men who feel they don't need women to be happy. Anyway, I get the idea why the movement was formed. Red pill though, that's another story.
What grates my nerves are men who actively seek to be in a relationship yet see women as some sort of enemy. If women really bother you then just leave them alone like MGTOW do.
What grates my nerves are men who actively seek to be in a relationship yet see women as some sort of enemy. If women really bother you then just leave them alone like MGTOW do.
Red
Member
@Bill Bauer
I see. I am sorry then. I understand how it feels to hold unpopular views-- views that one might wish to express. Suppression is not my intent and perhaps I jumped the gun.
@Christophe_85 and other users,
On a somewhat on-topic note...I don't think it is too surprising that tinnitus sufferers may not want children in their future, financially or physically. (And for some of us, T has nothing to do with that) Permanent birth control is a good goal to reach for and hopefully we will see the rise of a nonpermanent birth control for men. (Assuming the pharmacies don't kill it)
I see. I am sorry then. I understand how it feels to hold unpopular views-- views that one might wish to express. Suppression is not my intent and perhaps I jumped the gun.
@Christophe_85 and other users,
On a somewhat on-topic note...I don't think it is too surprising that tinnitus sufferers may not want children in their future, financially or physically. (And for some of us, T has nothing to do with that) Permanent birth control is a good goal to reach for and hopefully we will see the rise of a nonpermanent birth control for men. (Assuming the pharmacies don't kill it)
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
Red
Member
Oh. Wow. I did not know that. Yes, I will definitely agree with you on that. Chronic pain is very limiting in life. Best to do what you can to avoid it. Always should read the fine print and consider whether or not the risks are worth it for you.
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
There will always be white knights, females love them as it makes them feel validated. However they're nothing more than beta orbiters.
- Aug 21, 2016
- 352
- Tinnitus Since
- 2005
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Noise / T worsened with antiobiotics
This question is a tough one. Many of my friends don't even know I have T. All they know is that I don't seem to like going to bars and concerts. Yes it limits my life but the people who truly know me and care about me accept me for who I am and the way I've had to adjust my life. The people who don't accept it or think I'm "boring" I just cut loose. They aren't worth my energy.
It is good @racerfish that you have certain people around you that are understanding about your tinnitus. However, in my experience even the best of them are only understanding up to a point. I don't know how severe your tinnitus is so don't want to judge. People soon get fed when one complains about tinnitus because it's not something that can be seen. It is not unusual to catch them off guard looking up to the ceiling and rolling their eyes when they think you're not looking, something I learnt long ago.
Michael
Don't be sorry Michael !
Anyway, even if I like children, to see my 7 nieces and nephews is a pleasure, but I don't really want to have kids on my own...
I could say it started even before having my T... And now especially with that, it makes my choice more valuable...
And I don't want to get married either...
So I will be ok on this side ! lol
(I don't earn enough money anyway !
)
Yes but to me it doesn't deserve any respect if you act badly, like you wouldn't want anyone to act this way with you...
Sorry for my english, I don't know if it's clear ?
Maruashen
Member
- Dec 3, 2017
- 17
- Tinnitus Since
- 11/2014 (increased 10/2017)
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Mild hearing loss
This is booth a tricky question but at the same time a very simple one.
I got my "first" real tinnitus back in november 2014 due to loud music at a Christmas event with my work.
I went to the ENT crying for help and they couldn't do anything, well I got a hearing test and it showed "normal hearing" which was great. But my tinnitus was still there, and by then I though I was very loud if I remember correctly.
First 12 months I would use earplugs almost all the time when I went outside.. since I did suffer from hyperacusis.
Month 12-24 I started to wear em abit less, maybe 30% less in normal outside environments.
Month 24-36 I did hardly ever wear em outside, only when close to a trafficked road.
Found it very tricky to enjoy concerts tho, usually ran around looking for the most "quiet" spot, and sometimes even left the venue lol. But to me that wasn't that much sacrifice.
I also wanna point out that I had my tinnitus for 3 years and my girlfriend for 4,5 years, and it have never been an issue, ever with my T or H. The earplugs made me suitable for every situation.
I did however always use em during concerts, restaurants, bars, movies and it was no big of a issue for me.
My tip is to get urself a good pair of molded (custom) earplugs that you ALWAYS bring with you, no matter what.
You can have conversations easily with those plugs, sometimes even better in a crowded place.
Now however I got another damage on my left ear after a unprovoked assault about 5 weeks ago which gave me a increased tinnitus which is insane and a actual hearing loss (did an audiogram) and it doesn't look good at all.
So right now I'm freaking out, and I have no idea how this will end up with everything.
But I guess I just wanted to share my story on the first "3 years" of my tinnitus.
Which now when I look back actually turned out great.
Its very easy to get afraid of noises after a damage, and I think you should be a little afraid but at the same time you cannot limit you life.
You just gotta adopt to the situations as much as you can
.And if the partner cannot compromise sometimes and maybe go to abit more quiet venues, maybe that isn't a keeper anyway ..
/Martin
Don't be sorry Michael !
Anyway, even if I like children, to see my 7 nieces and nephews is a pleasure, but I don't really want to have kids on my own...
I could say it started even before having my T... And now especially with that, it makes my choice more valuable...
And I don't want to get married either...
So I will be ok on this side ! lol
(I don't earn enough money anyway !
I agree with you on all of the above @Christophe_85 We live in a world today where a lot of people are consumed with avarice and greed. They are not what they appear to be and only after what they can get. Money and material things and I'm not getting caught up in the scenario.
MGTOW is a meme. They get absolutely no respect from their home sites and peers. Take that from someone who has to deal with them.
There is a difference between strangers in a room — who you will likely not interact with — and strangers on an Internet forum where you are reaching out, seeking help and looking for support.
Complaining about a gender does not create a very inclusive nor welcoming environment. You can say it's only on this thread, but this thread is open for anyone to read.
Sometimes it takes a lot of trust and vulnerability to post how you are struggling and ask for advice. Do you think a woman new to TT would feel comfortable corresponding with or trust posters who were complaining about women on another support thread?
Perhaps that is the catch. This is a support thread. Maybe the topic of MGTOW would be more appropriate under general chat.
Thank you for your message !
Actually I had 2 small relationships since I have T and H and at the beginning (1st month) they try to be cooperative and not too loud. They asked me if the TV was not too loud and if the different places where we went out were ok for me...
But quite fast after this very short period, it is like they lost their patience... And always told me that they didn't hear enough the sound of the TV, or wanted to go in loud places like concerts, loud bars, night clubs and so on...
At my age (31 years old), women want to have fun and party ! Which I totally understand !
Even those who are more quiet like per example going to the Movies, which I cannot do anymore...
Honestly I really don't know how it can be possible without frustration from a woman !
Sorry for my negativity but it seems to be helpless...
Thats not negativity, if you had no arms you'd meet someone, it's an illness.....find a woman that's not like one your quoting... there's loads of women be happy with a hug up, walks & nothing loud or save them nights for the girls nights out
Red
Member
There is only so much a person is capable of empathizing with, without being able to read our minds. There are some fantastic people out there but they may not be the majority. The natural state of humanity is selfishness and most of us are just as selfish as the people who are apathetic to T. Bill Bauer made an excellent point...why not date people who are disabled or with other conditions? If we look at similar people and cannot see a future with them then it is understandable others would roll their eyes at us.
It is tough when you are dating with these conditions. If you get a condition after you have fallen in love, your spouse already loves you and will possibly do everything they can to give you the best quality of life or at least to support you. However, just meeting new people like this...they will,find us weird.
But also consider that no one is going to stick around if you constantly complain. That kind of attitude will wear anyone down. I am surprised that you are posting this Michael. You always seem so positive and I think especially you understand the importance of a positive attitude. That same positive attitude we strive for should apply to relationships too...if they are wanted. Nothing wrong with the single life.
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
Nobody is complaining about women. Then again, I can only speak for myself. I am not complaining about women. I am complaining about the system.
A nice well written post @Red that is deserving of a reply and for this reason I'm doing so. By nature I am a positive and optimistic person that has helped me through life and to cope with my tinnitus which I have had for many years. I think most of my posts on tinnitus reflect my positive personality. However, like most people I have different sides to my character. I try to live my life by certain principles which are important to me. I may occasionally fall short of these values but it is never intentional for I'm not perfect. I also look for these qualities in people that I associate with and will quickly distance myself from anyone that I don't think is of good character. Therefore, I am a private person and don't trust people easily. In this terribly materialistic and selfish world in which we live, it has made me very cynical about human begins, so I don't let my guard down easily or divulge too much information about myself. Because people can only hurt you by what you tell them.
Michael
Perhaps not complaining. Stereotyping? Or is it not stereotyping to suggest women will ruin physical health and finances? Men are just as capable of the same actions. Maybe it was simply a verbiage slip and the caution was in regards to both genders.
On that account I agree. Regardless of the gender of their spouse, individuals need to protect their financial assets and their health.
Marriage is not unlike the merger of two companies. If the companies choose to divide after 10, 20 or 30 years, assets will be divided unless prior legal documentation was in place.
Alimony/spousal support and custody laws vary by countries and even by states in the US. Some are worse than others, especially in terms of custody defaulting to mothers. If we would like to complain about the system, I think that is most definitely complaint worthy.
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