Ok, so that sounds a bit odd but I'll explain. I've been meaning to post this for a while... May 2018, I had temporary hearing loss from a flight. This progressed to tinnitus in my left ear, initially I thought it'd go away like a post gig ringing does. But no... It stayed and after a couple of weeks it was the only thing I could hear. It got pretty dark for a while, I genuinely thought I was going to lose everything. I couldn't work, I couldn't just relax with my wife, etc. I got worse and worse, really the darkest days of my life.
One day I completely broke down, saw my doctor in a frantic state, my wife thought I was suicidal. So... I was put on diazepam and signed off.
This did calm me, albeit really I was just a space cadet.
I'd been researching and reading everything I could, trying anything and everything but just in a state of panic.
What changed?
For me, I realised that this is a brain problem rather than a hearing issue as such. So, everytime I walked passed a mirror I stopped and told myself it's just a noise.
I reintroduced myself to some noise, I stopped the diazepam and walked every day, starting with quieter places as I felt under attack by every noise.
I walked and got to busier and busier places over 2 weeks.
I used headspace app for mindfulness.
Stopped reading every bit of research and news, as I wanted to change my attention.
Has this worked, yes for me it has.
Why do I say I'm happy it happened, the reason being is that it gave me a massive re appreciation of life, my life in particular. How I prioritise my life and time are different now, I get less stressed as I know most of the stuff we worry about is nonsense.
The period where it was really bad also broke down my defenses, I decided on the day that I stopped the diazepam that I would battle and fight for my life, so I went to counseling and then CBT for some historical personal issues - I wouldn't have done this unless tinnitus had pushed me over the edge.
Am I cured? Well that is dependent on your perspective... I still hear the tinnitus, it is probably as loud as it always had been. BUT... I now kind of notice it, then crack on with whatever I'm doing and I can go hours and hours without even noticing it. It started with a mini 5 minutes where I didn't think about it, I realised if that is possible for 5 minutes then it's possible for longer and longer. Plus I realised that whether it is there or not is actually irrelevant which stopped me from constantly checking for how loud it was, whether any louder or not, etc.
During my worst days the good news stories plus an amazingly supportive volunteer on a helpline really saved me from doing something stupid.
That's me, thought I'd share.
One day I completely broke down, saw my doctor in a frantic state, my wife thought I was suicidal. So... I was put on diazepam and signed off.
This did calm me, albeit really I was just a space cadet.
I'd been researching and reading everything I could, trying anything and everything but just in a state of panic.
What changed?
For me, I realised that this is a brain problem rather than a hearing issue as such. So, everytime I walked passed a mirror I stopped and told myself it's just a noise.
I reintroduced myself to some noise, I stopped the diazepam and walked every day, starting with quieter places as I felt under attack by every noise.
I walked and got to busier and busier places over 2 weeks.
I used headspace app for mindfulness.
Stopped reading every bit of research and news, as I wanted to change my attention.
Has this worked, yes for me it has.
Why do I say I'm happy it happened, the reason being is that it gave me a massive re appreciation of life, my life in particular. How I prioritise my life and time are different now, I get less stressed as I know most of the stuff we worry about is nonsense.
The period where it was really bad also broke down my defenses, I decided on the day that I stopped the diazepam that I would battle and fight for my life, so I went to counseling and then CBT for some historical personal issues - I wouldn't have done this unless tinnitus had pushed me over the edge.
Am I cured? Well that is dependent on your perspective... I still hear the tinnitus, it is probably as loud as it always had been. BUT... I now kind of notice it, then crack on with whatever I'm doing and I can go hours and hours without even noticing it. It started with a mini 5 minutes where I didn't think about it, I realised if that is possible for 5 minutes then it's possible for longer and longer. Plus I realised that whether it is there or not is actually irrelevant which stopped me from constantly checking for how loud it was, whether any louder or not, etc.
During my worst days the good news stories plus an amazingly supportive volunteer on a helpline really saved me from doing something stupid.
That's me, thought I'd share.
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