In Loving Memory of Kristen Aber

[glynis]

To the members of Tinnitus Talk,

Heartbreaking news -

@Kristen Aber has taken her own life.

She joined Tinnitus Talk in June this year and was really struggling to cope with tinnitus and the emotional turmoil that it brings.

My heart goes out to her family at this devastating time.

love all the staff. xxx

 

[TLion]

How do you know? She did not post much here. I remember her postings. Is this really true? I can't believe it. So sad.

 

[glynis]

@TLion,
I was sent a PM here and on Facebook Messenger through Tinnitus Hub Facebook group by a member whom was in phone contact with her.

She is heartbroken.

love glynis x

 

[Michael B]

So sad...

 

[TLion]

@TLion,
I was sent a PM here and on Facebook Messenger through Tinnitus Hub Facebook group by a member whom was in phone contact with her.

She is heartbroken.

love glynis x

And it was because of Tinnitus?

 

[glynis]

@TLion,
Yes, was due get married next year.

love glynis

 

[robHing]

Wow... please RIP.
I give my deepest condolences to her family.

 

[Julien87]

Oh my..
Rest in Peace Kristen

 

[Dana]

At least members of Tinnitus Talk who commit suicide because of tinnitus is not a taboo subject anymore and the sad news are given right away on the board, with no hesitation.

Way to go @glynis and @Markku for changing the policy of Tinnitus Talk!

Maybe we should make a list with members of Tinnitus Talk who committed suicide because of tinnitus.

LarryOT 's and svintegrity's suicide were not talked about on the board, just in private messages.

We must do something so horrendous things like that never happen again.

 

[dpdx]

R.I.P Kirsten
Another user gone because of Tinnitus

 

[Danikam]

Kristen......
I'm so grateful I was able to get to know you.
You will be missed by so many..... I wish you would have reached out one last time.

I wish my voice telling you that you were going to be okay and that you would get through this just give it time... Was louder than the voices telling you its never going to get better.

I wish we had had more time.....

I feel like I failed you...

Dear friend, I hope you found the peace that you were looking for..... And although it's too late I hope you realize just how loved you are and can see the huge hole you've left in the hearts of the people you left behind!!

 

[jimH]

@TLion,
Yes, was due get married next year.

How utterly devastating and tragic for her fiancé, family and friends!

I do hope that Kristen finally found peace on the other side...

 

[TLion]

Kristen......
I'm so grateful I was able to get to know you.
You will be missed by so many..... I wish you would have reached out one last time.

I wish my voice telling you that you were going to be okay and that you would get through this just give it time... Was louder than the voices telling you its never going to get better.

I wish we had had more time.....

I feel like I failed you...

Dear friend, I hope you found the piece that you were looking for..... And although it's too late I hope you realize just how loved you are and can see the huge hole you've left in the hearts of the people you left behind!!

Please, don't feel like failing! You did so much more than everyone else from this forum. You talked to her. You told her she will be okay. That is so important! I'm so sorry this wasn't enough to keep her here...

 

[Autumnly]

I'm going to remember her and Daniel and Gaby and Jenny and all the other people who were robbed of their lives by this condition whenever someone else says "at least it's not cancer!" or "I just tough it out and move on".

 

[glynis]

@Danikam,

I know this has been heart breaking for you as you also spoke with her.

If you need support through this you can PM me anytime and happy talk with you by phone or Skype.
You did not let her down and glad you reached out to her and wish she had reached out more to us.

love glynis x

 

[Danikam]

Please, don't feel like failing! You did so much more than everyone else from this forum. You talked to her. You told her she will be okay. That is so important! I'm so sorry this wasn't enough to keep her here...

Thank you!!!!



Logically I know I'm not responsible..... But my heart just hurts!!!

I will keep supporting people and trying to give them some sense of hope.

I know how lost I was when I first got this and how today Im living my life again.

Sometimes hope is all people need to get through the worst of it....

 

[Twinkle18]

I was in contact with Kristen too. We were helping each other out. Talking to each other. Working out our worries and fears. She was an absolutely sweet girl. I also wish that she would have reached out one last time. I told her I was always there no matter the time of day. Just so that record is clear, Kristen was struggling with a lot more than just tinnitus. However, it is not my place to discuss that since I believe we talked in confidence. May she Rest In Peace. And her family find peace as well.

Please, please, please reach out to some one if you are having suicidal thoughts. Heck it can be me, I don't mind. Life is freaking precious. Time heals all wounds.

 

[Jack Straw]

Truly heartbreaking. RIP

 

[TLion]

Thank you!!!!



Logically I know I'm not responsible..... But my heart just hurts!!!

I will keep supporting people and trying to give them some sense of hope.

I know how lost I was when I first got this and how today Im living my life again.

Sometimes hope is all people need to get through the worst of it....

Did you talk to her frequently? How long did she have Tinnitus? From her posts it seems like a very short time. Which is quite sad. You do an awesome job at supporting people. Your posts frequently give me hope, Danika!
This now hit me like a paddle to the face... So very sad....

 

[Danikam]

Did you talk to her frequently? How long did she have Tinnitus? From her posts it seems like a very short time. Which is quite sad. You do an awesome job at supporting people. Your posts frequently give me hope, Danika!
This now hit me like a paddle to the face... So very sad....

She didn't have tinnitus for very long at all..... About 6 months.

We spoke on the phone a few times and texted each other quite often.

The last time we spoke she seemed to be doing much better.

She struggled with anxiety and depression as well.... She believed her tinnitus was due to medication.

She had some other symptoms on top of the tinnitus.

Out of the blue she just stop texting me and I had the sinking feeling in my gut.

Thank you for your kind words......it makes me happy to know that my post have helped you, even in a small way!!!

I think this hits a lot of us hard..... for those of us who are here trying to support others I think it feels like somebody slip through our fingers... For those people still struggling I'm sure this is scary.

If anybody reading this needs support please reach out.... There are so many people here who will be an ear to listen, and a shoulder to cry on.

No matter where you're at in your journey with this thing..... We're all in it together!!!

 

[jimH]

Yes, was due get married next year.

And you can see from their picture what a sweet girl she was and happy couple they were. That poor guy...

 

[dpdx]

And you can see from their picture what a sweet girl she was and happy couple they were. That poor guy...

Why is life so cruel?

 

[coffee_girl]

Oh my goodness, everybody hang in there...if you are feeling suicidal please talk to someone. T during the first year could be one of the toughest things anyone will go through, the anxiety and depression can be overwhelming. I feel really bad for her, based on her posts it didn't seem like her T was extremely severe. That really sucks. =[

 

[Bill Bauer]

f you are feeling suicidal please talk to someone.

Whatever you do, don't commit suicide during the first two years after onset. There is a very high chance that one or both of the following events will happen: T could fade or you might habituate to the point where you will no longer feel like suicide is the best option for you.

 

[Agrajag364]

To the members of Tinnitus Talk,

Heartbreaking news -

@Kristen Aber has taken her own life.

She joined Tinnitus Talk in June this year and was really struggling to cope with tinnitus and the emotional turmoil that it brings.

My heart goes out to her family at this devastating time.

love all the staff. xxx

View attachment 21488

How awful. She looks so young and has such a kind face.

Her profile post said that she had only had tinnitus since December. If her suicide was mainly or entirely down to tinnitus that is particularly tragic because as well as habituation there would be at least some possibility that her volume would reduce over time or even that it would go away.

I have a friend who had tinnitus for a whole year and it went away. Even a reduction in volume can be a huge, huge difference in quality of life, I know already from having had long stretches of loud or quiet tinnitus, though mine regressed back to loud.

As well as the messages about how much more used to it people get in time and how much less distressing it is, even if it doesn't reduce in loudness at all, I wonder if it's important to get the message more strongly to new people that sometimes it does reduce in volume greatly over time and occasionally even goes away in time.

I think it does say something to that effect in the introductory message to the forum but it is definitely the impression you would get from most of the posts here or on most other tinnitus groups. I know it's important not to give false hope but hope can be so critically important in the early days of many health conditions

 

[Michael Leigh]

Why is life so cruel?

Life can be extremely cruel. I remember posting to Kristen as she asked me about TRT and my experiences with it. I believe she was soon to start the treatment. I liked her especially because she was so polite. When someone with tinnitus takes their life, they sometimes but not always, have additional problems in their life. I have found this to be so after corresponding with many people over the years with this condition. Perhaps the tinnitus is the final straw that makes their life untenable.

Michael

 

[coffee_girl]

Agree completely! I think it is more important than ever to surround yourself with lots of love and wonderful people when you are going through with T that first year. They may not always understand what you are going through but they will do their best. <3

 

[dpdx]

Life can be extremely cruel. I remember posting to Kristen as she asked me about TRT and my experiences with it. I believe she was soon to start the treatment. I liked her especially because she was so polite. When someone with tinnitus takes their life, they sometimes but not always, have additional problems in their life. I have found this to be so after corresponding with many people over the years with this condition. Perhaps the tinnitus is the final straw that makes their life untenable.

Michael

I cried for an entire week when Danny left us. I feel so sorry for this young girl she had her whole life ahead of her. It breaks my heart to see people go. I dont know her, never met her and never talked to her, but it really crushed my heart to hear this. I wished she just waited for a year or two to see if it will improve. I am sure she would have improved as she was too early in. We all need to support one another on this forum, we are all family and we to look out for one another.

 

[coffee_girl]

I also want to add that threads like this will trigger depression and anxiety in some posters, especially those with severe tinnitus or who are new to tinnitus.

 

[dpdx]

Agree completely! I think it is more important than ever to surround yourself with lots of love and wonderful people when you are going through with T that first year. They may not always understand what you are going through but they will do their best. <3

I agree.