Loosing It!

[dan]

There is nothing that says that a former boy scout or ex builder should be better at coping than a ex shoe salesman or ex postman.

No, not a boy scout, a reconnaissance scout
Ok, so just for example sakes, you think a shoe salesman (like Newman from Seinfeld type) is just as mentally tough as a Navy Seal ?

 

[Nick the Swede]

@boyscoutDan. You didn't get my point at all. For sure a seal is harder to break down mentally than a random postman. But severe T is nothing that you can be prepared to handle even if you have years of hard training under your belt.

 

[dan]

not sure there's a @boyscoutDan here

 

[awbw8]

Matt, you are new here, so I won't bust your balls, but please don't bust people's who might "like" or "agree" with me? This is a free opinion forum, without personal attacks.
If you have an opinion, be my guest.

Hi @dan I think the point @MattL and @Nick the Swede are trying to make is that being the stereotypical idea of "tough" or being male has little to do with "overcoming" (for lack of better word) tinnitus.

Saying that "I just can't buy that 2 strong MEN cannot overcome something a woman could...we aren't sissies." is an attack on all the women here (and everywhere.) It is wildly sexist and belittles their suffering and/or strength. It's really shocking and upsetting to read. Each and every person here is incredibly strong just from going day-to-day with this ailment. Let's not draw boundaries; we all need support and empathy. This is a free opinion forum, but that means sometimes your opinions will draw the opinions of others, which may not be in accordance with your own.

I do hope you and Telis feel better, I am so sorry you are suffering so terribly.

 

[dan]

Saying that "I just can't buy that 2 strong MEN cannot overcome something a woman could...we aren't sissies." is an attack on all the women here (and everywhere.) It is wildly sexist and belittles their suffering and/or strength. It's really shocking and upsetting to read.

You know, you're overreacting. This is a bit off topic but I really think the world is overly sensitive to the man/woman equality thing, and its like walking on landmines everytime you compare man and woman.

 

[awbw8]

You know, you're overreacting. This is a bit off topic but I really think the world is overly sensitive to the man/woman equality thing, and its like walking on landmines everytime you compare man and woman.

It's always easier to say someone is overreacting when you're a member of the the more privileged group. A lot of people without T might say that you are overreacting - it's just a little noise right? Why don't you just get over it? Many men say the same thing to women (relatively) regularly - because they do not know.

I'm not going to turn this into a debate, if you change your mind you'll come to it on your own, but hopefully the above it a little something to think about and I really do hope you feel better. I know we are all agreed in wanting silence and peace for one another.

 

[dan]

It's always easier to say someone is overreacting when you're a member of the the more privileged group.

I don't feel privileged in any way in being a man, sorry.

 

[Mark McDill]

So you think my post was a personal attack? Really? I don't even know anybody here. Like i said, perhaps it's just me being precious, but IMO if anyone was being personal, it was you.



Are you guys for real? NOBODY CAN SEE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS STATEMENT???? Perhaps i'll just disappear for awhile....seriously

Matt
Don't disappear or take it personally (let it go); this is a great bunch of folks out here.

Mark

 

[Mark McDill]

@dan, @valeri, @MattL
I guess everyone is trying to find out why someone can cope and another one (like us) not.
Is it just time habituating to this? Is it just that we are personalities who want to control everything?
Or is it loudness and seriousness of our T? No one knows and no one will ever know.
Because we cannot switch the sounds between our heads for comparing.

For myself I can say that on little bit quieter days (seldom), I can cope much better.
On my usual, loud days, I just try to survive.
Overall, the worst thing is the depression that has me.
Depression is a monster.

Martin
Top of the morning to ya!! How are things in Deutsche Land?? I soooo miss Germany; loved it so much.

I couldn't agree with you more; depression is a monster. It's so existential; one could easily say "I'd get over my depression easier if I wasn't so depressed"; it is a state of being. In my military days we would apply extremely dark humor to our scary and austere situation by joking "I'd like to get over my depression, but it just doesn't matter". It was a way to cope and to commiserate; but T is different, not everyone can relate to it (so there is an isolation component -- ugh!).

Not sure why I'm sharing all this other than it may (in some way) benefit others; but I recall having a terrible time emotionally and mentally separating T from other areas in my life. In other words, I was always asking myself "is it the T making me stressed/anxious/depressed or is it something else?". Stress/anxiety/depression, after all, are major contributing factors at the onset of T. For quite some time, it was the T (it's the T, it's the T, it's the T); post habituation, however, I was able to determine other areas in my life causing stress/anxiety/depression that may have led to T -- and I'm learning to cope with those. In a weird way, I now have a 'stessometer' called T; I can more easily determine when I'm anxious or stressed even when I feel fine. Maybe I'm just a very typical (and therefore challenged) guy that has difficulty determining how I really feel; most of the time if asked how I feel my response will rhyme with mad, glad, or sad . But that's not good enough; cause if I'm stressed or anxious it plays out in other areas in my life.

Hang in there bro; we can commiserate about T anytime cause I understand!!!

Prayers

Mark

 

[Nick the Swede]

Some posts in this thread qualifys as the most pathetic posts of the year, and i am absolutely not a feminist

 

[Fa82]

@ awbw8 said '...Each and every person here is incredibly strong just from going day-to-day with this ailment. Let's not draw boundaries; we all need support and empathy...
I do hope you and Telis feel better, I am so sorry you are suffering so terribly.'

This should be crystal clear to everyone. This VERY important thread shouldn't be a playground for comparing who's better or might be better at coping than another. This bs tests us all and is totally subjective. We have to help each other on this road it's hard enough as it is.

Do not lose courage, @Telis. Make it any way you can day by day. The future is the unknown, impossible to see into with any certainty. Instead, treat every day you get to the end of as a victory when T and doubt get to you like they do for me too. Go someplace where you won't be disturbed by anyone and enumerate in your mind for a few minutes everything you love whether it be your companions, family, a walk somewhere, even the simplest thing. Carefully gather whatever is left of your real self together. When it first happens you fall and it'll hurt to see how much you've lost. You cannot stand it at times. But with a bit of patience, though, you see that you're much more than both what your life is now or what your life was before T. That's when something inside of you starts to straighten out. T gradually dissolves into the hundreds of other things that are going on inside and outside of you.

Before my accident my life was relatively trouble free. Nowadays with T and physical pains depression plus anxiety follow me in cycles from nowhere. Beat me up plenty. If I take pills I feel sick. An occasional couple of shots of brandy in my coffee used to help. I always exercised. Then its like I woke up and realised I got to overcome all this in another way. It's not willpower, self esteem building, positivity, CBT, TRT, therapy etc. Nothing like that. It's more like reaching for a solution outside of yourself and everyone else. You got to work it still but you no longer feel like your towing the line to your T, or anything else for that matter. It's free because it's pretty much in everyone. Wishing you the best here...

 

[billie48]

Sorry Dan about my post that seems to come across that way to you. I only want to encourage Telis to hang in there. There is no intend to put down anyone or to compare T suffering between men and women. My apology if it hurts some one's feeling.

I am sure you have some of the worst T out there as I got to know your suffering from the other forum. Believe it or not, I have a lot of respect for you. You are a symbol of strength and you stay there battling while helping some of the toughest cases out there, Paul, English, etc., even to set up Skype support group to help out the worst sufferers. That is compassion & care, bro, and I wish you and everyone else well.

Matt, please don't leave. Sometimes we say things we don't mean. We are all human. Let's forget and forgive and unite to help others in sufferings.

Sorry I am a bit late to help bring back some peace to this thread. I was on a long flight to Asia from Vancouver since my post, travelling solo on a pre-planned trip before the recent panic attack flare up. I am some one with anxiety/panic disorders for decades prior T & H. So my 'old friends' of anxiety and panic attacks are in town visiting me now. LOL. My T was so loud I could hear it the entire 13 hours flight and my anxiety/panic symptoms lurking. But I won't back down to these tyrants of my life. I will live positively and abundantly even if I have to go through hell to do it. So cheers and peace to all from the major oriental metropolis of Hong Kong.