7 Months
I don't know what to say. Pretty much the same as last month.
Physical t
Same as last month, same as 4 months ago. Crickets in the morning under a tone turning to a more steady tone as the day progresses. The crickets may be lasting later in the day as time passes.
The level of the t does fluctuate, quieter when I wake up and then for whatever reason the tone alternates from a sharper level to a softer level. I've noticed a couple times it got really loud before getting quieter which I noticed 4 months ago too.
I'm noticing fleeting t almost daily now. I think more than last month.
The volume is equal to or possible a little louder than the second and third month depending on where the t is in the cycle. Outdoors almost completely masks and indoors in quiet rooms it's definitely there and I can mask some of it. It's not as bothersome as it was so even though I hear it the reaction isn't the same.
I was at the grocery store and the beeper bothered me last week. I didn't put muffs on but it felt loud. I wonder if some beepers are louder than others at the store.
The h is pretty much gone though I still protect when loud planes, motorcycles, trucks, sirens, beepers are nearby. No ear fullness over the last month. No papery feel, not even a little bit.
Mental t
The reason I'm writing this post now is that I just read a post by someone who just came back from an ENT.
Based on the fact that most of the physical signs of t are gone; no fullness, no hyperacusis, I have to wonder if my ears have 'healed' and now my t is in my brain and it will move on or it won't and I can't do a thing about it besides do my best to ignore it.
Don't get me wrong I still protect when driving my diesel truck, my wife's Honda if going over 30-40, and if a helicopter, airplane etc comes by.
It hit me again that what I have may be what I have. I know I've got a hearing loss from a lifetime of noise exposure but it feels like my time working on my truck with the die grinder is what started the t and now I'll have to deal with it (forever). My stomach doesn't drop like it did in the first month but I still want to curse when I think that.
Like everyone here the moment I went to the ENT and was told, "You have T, deal with it." Life changed. Before that visit I thought there would be a magic pill or time would heal. Hopefully time will still heal.
I know I was wearing hearing protection and I didn't think the noise was too loud. There's nothing I can do.
I'm in a bit of limbo with work since I finished a job I was on for a while. I have small jobs to do but I'm not excited about them. That may not be the t, that may be my baseline motivation level.
I spent some time working on my truck last week and really enjoyed it. I spent about 4 hours vacuuming, washing, Armouralling my wife's car last week too. I had those rims shining like the sun! I raked leaves for a while over the weekend and today because I don't want to use a leaf blower. It's not as big a deal as I thought but I have to pace myself.
I think about using my lawn mower to shred the leaves of leaf blower but I don't want to set myself back. I don't really know when my ears will be hardened off to loud noises, with hearing protection, but I don't want to push it.
I split some firewood with an axe for about 10 minutes over the weekend with ear muffs and ear plugs. I didn't want to overdo it in case the t amped up. Splitting firewood by hand used to be my way to burn off anxiety and stress, now I do it for 10 minutes at a time and cautiously. I have some pieces that have too many knots to split but I don't want to think about starting the log splitter or chainsaw. Well, I want to think about it but I don't want to act on it.
I just got fleeting t in my left ear that's lasted about a minute. It's cricket fleeting t. That may be a new one. Yeah!
That's where I am. I've slipped back into a bit of a funk possibly because of gloomy October weather, possibly because I finished the big job, possibly because it's a habit I'll have to break after 7 months.
Thanks again to everyone who's commented or given me an emoticon on the thread. It validates my thoughts and feelings.
Still not sure if the monthly updates will continue. I fear they are going to all start sounding the same.