@glynis
Terribly sorry to hear about these issues you are suffering from. Your words to others have always been excellent and well respected. Personally I have tried to follow in your footsteps and offer only sound and known advice. Having lost all my hearing and a massive spike in tinnitus from my kidney surgery sure was a wake up call for me. In the last 5 years I have had to cope with hell and all that comes with this lifestyle change. As you know, we actually become a tad better at dealing with our issues the longer we go thru them. I also know all about hitting rock bottom again like you are feeling today. It's easy to hit bottom when the rest of the world carries on and we are stuck with this nasty business. No one gets it unless you suffer it, and even then some people have only mild symptoms and have a rough time with it.
Glynis I want you to know that you are loved, respected and admired for your strength and determination. I hope you can get thru this time of desperation soon and be back on your feet as best you can. I do not suffer hyperacusis often mainly because my hearing is so poor. I do get it when I hear a smoke alarm, loud music and any real loud banging but only in my right ear as it is the only ear I have some residual hearing with. I must close that ear quickly or I suffer! I know all about the nasty loud steam whistles in both my ears with tinnitus 24/7/365 and how hard it is to function today with no hearing. Hyperacusis is not well understood by me and by the sounds of it, I sure hope I never need to learn it myself.
Being deaf has left me unemployed and living on a small disability payment monthly. Tried finding work and want to work but it seems I am a liability for any employer in my condition. Even tried self employment but customers even shun you when you stop over to do quotes for home renovations or painting etc. Talk about the ultimate low! I used to be well employed, loved my job and other activities and was getting by just fine until..............
My family think I am weak and letting this get the better of me. I challenged every one of them to wear ear plugs for 2 weeks and I will install speakers from earbuds and they must listen to a high pitched screech 24/7. Told them they cannot cheat by removing the plugs at work or home, as I cannot cheat. Told them to try communicating with husbands, wives, children, co-workers, no telephone, must have everyone write things down for you, and see how long the boss they have will put up with this test before they FIRE you! lol Of course no one took me up on the test. My sister I was once always close too wants her old brother back. Her fun brother! I told her my personality has not changed but my life sure has. Getting the old Mike back is just not going to happen so she shuns me. Fair enough. Hard to understand what I go thru unless you have been there right?
So here we are sweetheart, offering support and asking for support from those who know. I pretty much just ignore any negative feedback from people now. I can no longer give my family what they want so I must now concentrate on giving myself the best life I possibly can.
Working on getting a Cochlear Implant and was approved for the surgery. Not a single family member said congratulations when I told them I was accepted and now on the waiting list!! A couple actually bitched saying they can't drive me in for the surgery when they call for various stupid reasons. Thank goodness I have a few close friends who will be there when the time comes! I even told my sister if she ever falls down the stairs and breaks her legs, not to call me to come take her to the hospital as I am sure I will be busy watching the grass grow that day!!! My support network here is practically non existent. That's fine. I am a grown man and can get thru this crap without any of their help or kindness. In order for me to get the Cochlear Implant, I must be immunized for meningitis for some reason. That immunization takes 2 treatments of vaccine that I must find a way to pay for out of my small budget. Money I just don't have but I also cannot afford to let this opportunity to possibly hear again in one ear pass me by, so I will find a way to pay for the shots.
Hang in there Glynis and thank you for all the kind words and support you have given me since I joined TT. I wish there was something, anything, I could do to help you. I just hope you realize you are loved and respected by so many of us and we all want to see you get better.
Big hugs from Canada!! Get lots of rest.
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