Suicidal

[Tau]

I see floaters sometimes when driving and it's really bright; what does that mean?

Probably that they're small and not an issue!

 

[El BUZZ]

I don't even get why there is a forum for this, knowing damn well our great grandkids will be dead and buried before a cure or decent treatment is available.

Hi Brian!

Would love to know the facts behind such a statement.

Hug.

 

[Exit]

Hi, I need some help.

I am literally on the verge of being suicidal. I am at the stage of putting my affairs in order with regards to pensions and savings and will and researching quick and painless but certain methods of suicide.

I just don't think I can go on. It's no way to live and is torture. My tinnitus is a 10. The loudest thing I hear in most but the noisiest circumstances.

I can't believe any one else has this at this volume. It's screaming and feels like my head is vibrating with the noise.

I just can't see a future like this. I put a smile on my face but inside I am in hell. When the fear of living becomes greater than the fear of death then a pathway opens up.

I am trouble. Noise induced hearing loss with tinnitus. Moderate. Learned to live with it and habituated. 5 years.

Made a massive mistake and went to a ridiculously loud live music event and have lost much more hearing and the tinnitus is unbearable. 2 weeks in.

Someone please tell me this is not permanent.

Only 2 weeks in. Can get back to normal before you know it.

 

[Brian P]

Hi Brian!

Would love to know the facts behind such a statement.

Hug.

There's no funding and it's a very difficult disease to understand. If you want to delude yourself be my guest.

 

[Wrfortiscue]

There's no funding and it's a very difficult disease to understand. If you want to delude yourself be my guest.

With the COVID-19 and vaccination induced tinnitus I truly believe it will speed up the process, so maybe in the next 200 years.

 

[El BUZZ]

There's no funding and it's a very difficult disease to understand. If you want to delude yourself be my guest.

I don't want to delude myself by any means even if I am going through the roughest patch of my life but I find this corner of the forum to be the most in need of some hope.

 

[GoatSheep]

maybe in the next 200 years.

 

[Jerad]

I'm in a bad place right now. I'm worried that this new spike will become permanent and, if so, how will I habituate?

I'm 6 weeks in. It's not a pure tone. That's what concerns me most. If it was pure, I'd think worst comes to worst, I'll habituate. However, it sounds like a drumbeat and car engine mixed with waving a light saber around. In and out, in and out. So it has a rhythmic, pulsating nature to it. I don't think it's true pulsatile tinnitus, though. It never exceeds 35 dB, which is good, and it's intensity varies between 4/5 and 8; sometimes it's a 2/3 when it's calm for a few hours here and there. It started after using headphones at low levels for pink noise treatment- I have hyperacusis and didn't realize the danger in using headphones; was advised to do it this way.

I'm praying and trying to remain optimistic that this could calm, but it's a scary thing. Like I said, it hasn't exceeded 35 dB so it pretty much disappears when I leave the house, but it's really intrusive at home where the environment is 25 - 30 dB. I can't mask too much right now with my sensitive hearing.

Does anyone think Prednisone could help this late, 6 weeks after spike? I also don't wanna make it worse. Thoughts?

 

[Exit]

On and off, on and off every second...

I can't take it anymore.

Anything for constant tinnitus, no matter how awful...

 

[Stacken77]

On and off, on and off every second...

I can't take it anymore.

Anything for constant tinnitus, no matter how awful...

Sounds really distressing. It's a kinda oscillating sound? In silence too?

Hugs to ya

 

[Kriszti]

On and off, on and off every second...

I can't take it anymore.

Anything for constant tinnitus, no matter how awful...

May I ask what you hear? Is it bilateral or unilateral? Have you been examined for MEM/palatal myoclonus? They mainly cause clicking, popping, thudding, but maybe your on and off sound could be atypical MEM? I'm asking because if it's actually MEM, you could try muscle relaxants, Botox and having your middle ear muscles cut.

Anyway, hugs, I wish you were feeling better.

 

[Exit]

Sounds really distressing. It's a kinda oscillating sound? In silence too?

Hugs to ya

Thanks and you too @Kriszti.

Oscillating a little yes, a very high pitch scream very sensitive to everything except blinking... And when it's off it's really annoying as well. It's like it's on alert, just waiting to scream. Some uneven bells and like a rusty swing for kids. Or like a door that squeak.

@Kriszti, it is pure noise damage. 12-13 sounds divided in both ears. Actually only 12 now... It is not so reactive to running water anymore. Well it screams but that's covered by running water.

 

[Wrfortiscue]

Thanks and you too @Kriszti.

Oscillating a little yes, a very high pitch scream very sensitive to everything except blinking... And when it's off it's really annoying as well. It's like it's on alert, just waiting to scream. Some uneven bells and like a rusty swing for kids. Or like a door that squeak.

@Kriszti, it is pure noise damage. 12-13 sounds divided in both ears. Actually only 12 now... It is not so reactive to running water anymore. Well it screams but that's covered by running water.

The oscillating squeak sucks ass. Mine is so random and eventually becomes so high pitched it hurts.

 

[Exit]

The oscillating squeak sucks ass. Mine is so random and eventually becomes so high pitched it hurts.

Mine too used to almost hurt.

Yours is completely random some hours and then not?

 

[Wrfortiscue]

Mine too used to almost hurt.

Yours is completely random some hours and then not?

Yeah this specific tone constantly changes all day everyday. High pitch squeak, that oscillates constantly sometimes to my heartbeat, turns into an electrical straight buzz that buzzes my brain, or just zaps all over the place. Sometimes I don't hear it but that's becoming less and less.

 

[Exit]

Yeah this specific tone constantly changes all day everyday. High pitch squeak, that oscillates constantly sometimes to my heartbeat, turns into an electrical straight buzz that buzzes my brain, or just zaps all over the place. Sometimes I don't hear it but that's becoming less and less.

Mine sometimes go to a buzz if I have massaged it with fan noise...

It always goes back to awful.

Except that one time it got to a constant buzz, which then lowered within days... :O

I can't believe it, can you...?

 

[PeteJ]

Hi, I need some help.

I am literally on the verge of being suicidal. I am at the stage of putting my affairs in order with regards to pensions and savings and will and researching quick and painless but certain methods of suicide.

I just don't think I can go on. It's no way to live and is torture. My tinnitus is a 10. The loudest thing I hear in most but the noisiest circumstances.

I can't believe any one else has this at this volume. It's screaming and feels like my head is vibrating with the noise.

I just can't see a future like this. I put a smile on my face but inside I am in hell. When the fear of living becomes greater than the fear of death then a pathway opens up.

I am trouble. Noise induced hearing loss with tinnitus. Moderate. Learned to live with it and habituated. 5 years.

Made a massive mistake and went to a ridiculously loud live music event and have lost much more hearing and the tinnitus is unbearable. 2 weeks in.

Someone please tell me this is not permanent.

My tinnitus is a 10 in severity, also.

I didn't 'habituate.' It got progressively worse from the onset.

There's no help. The tinnitus is especially loud seemingly in the right ear but it's the volume and number of tones that is daily torture, all the time.

I am just repeating myself.

 

[LukeYoung]

Anyone else here have chronic pain and tinnitus? Only 21. As if life couldn't be pushing me over the edge more.

Yes I have gained multiple chronic health issues in the last few years of my life.
It has made me severely depressed. I already was depressed before.

 

[Wrfortiscue]

Mine sometimes go to a buzz if I have massaged it with fan noise...

It always goes back to awful.

Except that one time it got to a constant buzz, which then lowered within days... :O

I can't believe it, can you...?

How did yours get worse? Did it just get gradually worse over time for no reason?

 

[Wrfortiscue]

My tinnitus is a 10 in severity, also.

I didn't 'habituate.' It got progressively worse from the onset.

There's no help. The tinnitus is especially loud seemingly in the right ear but it's the volume and number of tones that is daily torture, all the time.

I am just repeating myself.

It got worse for now reason without noise or meds?

 

[Exit]

How did yours get worse?

A kid with a skateboard...

 

[Brian Newman]

Man this disease never stops. Always gets worse and does not give me any damn breaks. I only got worse noxacusis over the period of 7 months. It went from a stabbing pain that went away in minutes to pain the rest of the day so bad I'm vomiting. All it took before was nasty high pitch sound, everything else was fine, now most noise triggers it. Up until two days ago my tinnitus was moderate.

Tolerable , barely bothered me. Now after noise that went through a door through my earmuffs started a horrible cycle of reactive tinnitus, that gets louder from even a vibration from outside the house. That's insane. All it took to make moderate noxacusis, and stable tinnitus into severe was a plane flying over the noise, a squeaking noise from the kitchen, and me bumping my Peltors a few times.

I never had reactive tinnitus, the noxacusis only gets worse every time I set it off, the pain will go away eventually but leaves me with less and less tolerance. Now that my tinnitus gets louder and louder from every little noise I don't know how to even isolate. Lol. How do I even avoid planes flying over my house, if I put earmuffs on and sit in a room, the vibrations still hurt me.

God help me. I don't know how much longer I have left. It does not stop getting worse.

 

[Wrfortiscue]

Man this disease never stops. Always gets worse and does not give me any damn breaks. I only got worse noxacusis over the period of 7 months. It went from a stabbing pain that went away in minutes to pain the rest of the day so bad I'm vomiting. All it took before was nasty high pitch sound, everything else was fine, now most noise triggers it. Up until two days ago my tinnitus was moderate.

Tolerable , barely bothered me. Now after noise that went through a door through my earmuffs started a horrible cycle of reactive tinnitus, that gets louder from even a vibration from outside the house. That's insane. All it took to make moderate noxacusis, and stable tinnitus into severe was a plane flying over the noise, a squeaking noise from the kitchen, and me bumping my Peltors a few times.

I never had reactive tinnitus, the noxacusis only gets worse every time I set it off, the pain will go away eventually but leaves me with less and less tolerance. Now that my tinnitus gets louder and louder from every little noise I don't know how to even isolate. Lol. How do I even avoid planes flying over my house, if I put earmuffs on and sit in a room, the vibrations still hurt me.

God help me. I don't know how much longer I have left. It does not stop getting worse.

Geeze man

 

[Kenilworth]

Anybody who can recommend me meds to lessen suicide thoughts/ideation that won't worsen the tinnitus?

At the moment I'm not sure what's worse. The severe tinnitus or the thought of killing myself and not doing anything about it.

 

[Brian P]

A kid with a skateboard...

Did you ever get an audiogram? Do you have documented hearing loss? What frequencies?

 

[Steph1710]

Yes I have gained multiple chronic health issues in the last few years of my life.
It has made me severely depressed. I already was depressed before.

I am going through exactly the same thing. In the past two years I have developed tinnitus and numerous chronic health issues. I try and hold it together but I am at complete breaking point.

I can sympathise with you completely. I feel completely out of my depth these days.

 

[Exit]

Did you ever get an audiogram? Do you have documented hearing loss? What frequencies?

No I didn't finish the audiogram. No point...

 

[Wrfortiscue]

No I didn't finish the audiogram. No point...

Why didn't you finish it?

 

[Brian Newman]

Geeze man

Yeah man, fucking nightmare.

 

[Matchbox]

Yeah man, fucking nightmare.

Absolutely.