Suicidal

As a 45-year-old man, let me give you some advice. True love from a woman does not exist, so don't beat yourself up over it. Just go on YouTube and type in MGTOW, and you will understand. I am speaking from experience and not misogyny.

This is just the way women are programmed by nature and modern society just made things a million times worse. A woman cannot love you the way a man wants her to, love is transactional basically. While a man functions as a provider, a woman will stick around, but as soon as your finances go up shit's creek, then you will see her heels walking away from you. This is just a basic intro to the subject.

Yes, you can enjoy time with a woman, by all means, but know that in 90%+ of cases, this time is limited and is dependent on what you bring to the table -- not what she brings, and so on.

P.S. The shape of your head has absolutely NO bearing on a woman's desire to be with you. Sure at 18 years old they may shun you, but it's because they are immature. Just wait till you are 25+ and in the meantime work on your purpose (money, career, body) in life so that when the time comes, you can attract a female.

How long has it been since the MRI?
Wish I had realized this and stayed single forever, or married the one lady I had who was all about me and telling me she would never deny me or leave me. She was a therapist and wanted the long haul and was the in sickness and in health type for sure, which is rare as can be!
 
It's not that rare.
I had my chance. I stupidly kept playing the field when I truly did love her. I felt the gut instinct to go chase after her and make her my woman and I could have, but I had been trained by a narcissist family to self-destruct all my life and not go after real love. She went on a date with some shrimpy dude after me and married him, he is even shorter than her. She would have loved me forever.
 
I'm not sure what point you're making here. No one should be forced to stay in a marriage, it shouldn't matter if a person is being abused or not for a divorce to qualify.
The point is exactly that you SHOULD be forced to stay in a marriage, because YOU made a VOW before God:

"In the name of God, I, ___, take you, ___, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death."

That was the traditional vow in the old days. So any reason other than outright violence, was not a reason to divorce.

Today we have bullshit chickenshit vows such as:

"I promise to love you and always be by your side, through all of the ups and downs, bla bla bla. I vow to always be faithful (crossing fingers), and always be your best friend bla bla, no matter what the future might bring (barring debilitating illness). I promise to always root for you, cheer you on, and be your biggest fan (after Tik Tok of course). I promise to love and support you (till it no longer suits me and/or I'm bored)."
 
Some very un-creative statistics on domestic violence in the US:
  • 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner contact sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking with impacts such as injury, fearfulness, post-traumatic stress disorder, use of victim services, contraction of sexually transmitted diseases, etc.
    • 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner. This includes a range of behaviors (e.g. slapping, shoving, pushing) and in some cases might not be considered "domestic violence."
    • 1 in 7 women and 1 in 25 men have been injured by an intimate partner.
    • 1 in 10 women have been raped by an intimate partner. Data is unavailable on male victims.
  • 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence (e.g. beating, burning, strangling) by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
  • 1 in 7 women and 1 in 18 men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime to the point in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed.
  • Women between the ages of 18-24 are most commonly abused by an intimate partner.
(Source)

I found an article from the American Sociological Association on the "70% of divorces are initiated by women" study... well, it's actually 69%.

Here is Associate Professor of Sociology at Stanford University, Michael Rosenfeld's opinion on the study:
Perhaps women were more likely to initiate divorces because, as Rosenfeld found, married women reported lower levels of relationship quality than married men. In contrast, women and men in non-marital relationships reported equal levels of relationship quality.

Rosenfeld said his results support the feminist assertion that some women experience heterosexual marriage as oppressive or uncomfortable.

"I think that marriage as an institution has been a little bit slow to catch up with expectations for gender equality," Rosenfeld said. "Wives still take their husbands' surnames, and are sometimes pressured to do so. Husbands still expect their wives to do the bulk of the housework and the bulk of the childcare. On the other hand, I think that non-marital relationships lack the historical baggage and expectations of marriage, which makes the non-marital relationships more flexible and therefore more adaptable to modern expectations, including women's expectations for more gender equality."
(Source)

Divorce rates are also lowest in New Hampshire, so perhaps search for love there ;)

(Source)
 
As a 45-year-old man, let me give you some advice. True love from a woman does not exist, so don't beat yourself up over it. Just go on YouTube and type in MGTOW, and you will understand. I am speaking from experience and not misogyny.

This is just the way women are programmed by nature and modern society just made things a million times worse. A woman cannot love you the way a man wants her to, love is transactional basically. While a man functions as a provider, a woman will stick around, but as soon as your finances go up shit's creek, then you will see her heels walking away from you. This is just a basic intro to the subject.

Yes, you can enjoy time with a woman, by all means, but know that in 90%+ of cases, this time is limited and is dependent on what you bring to the table -- not what she brings, and so on.
This may be true 99% of the time, but there are exceptions. I spent nearly 20 years usually living alone because I was unable to find a woman to commit to, who was not the way you describe. I eventually found one who would not walk out, if I were broke, unemployed or in some kind of dire financial straits. If more men were willing to hold their ground and not give in and marry the selfish ones, things would change, but most men are brainwashed into thinking that it's their "place" to be the provider, with few or no rights, in an unequal arrangement that is overwhelmingly in favor of the female.

The most important thing for young, single men, who wish to be happy and unencumbered, is to never, ever agree to have children, with any woman, whether you marry her or not.
 
This may be true 99% of the time, but there are exceptions. I spent nearly 20 years usually living alone because I was unable to find a woman to commit to, who was not the way you describe. I eventually found one who would not walk out, if I were broke, unemployed or in some kind of dire financial straits. If more men were willing to hold their ground and not give in and marry the selfish ones, things would change, but most men are brainwashed into thinking that it's their "place" to be the provider, with few or no rights, in an unequal arrangement that is overwhelmingly in favor of the female.

The most important thing for young, single men, who wish to be happy and unencumbered, is to never, ever agree to have children, with any woman, whether you marry her or not.
This is also a load of bull.
 
I had my chance. I stupidly kept playing the field when I truly did love her. I felt the gut instinct to go chase after her and make her my woman and I could have, but I had been trained by a narcissist family to self-destruct all my life and not go after real love. She went on a date with some shrimpy dude after me and married him, he is even shorter than her. She would have loved me forever.
Hey, you've learned a good deal about yourself. It sounds like you have more awareness of both yourself and relationships, as well as your own family baggage. Those are good things in my book. Self-love and awareness make for stronger respectful loving partnerships, at least from my perspective.
 
I had my chance. I stupidly kept playing the field when I truly did love her. I felt the gut instinct to go chase after her and make her my woman and I could have, but I had been trained by a narcissist family to self-destruct all my life and not go after real love. She went on a date with some shrimpy dude after me and married him, he is even shorter than her. She would have loved me forever.
Our gut instinct is a very powerful tool. It also applies to tinnitus.
 
You've made good decisions, not just what feel like really bad ones. You've invested time posting and reaching out to others in this group. Well done.

Abruptly stopping a medication can increase tinnitus and I would think hyperacusis as well.

In terms of the anxiety meds, it you still have the prescription, consider slowly titrating up (increasing the dosage) until you reach the prescribed dosage. Before you do so, have someone in your family consult with the prescribing doctor about how any concerns about whether the drug is linked to increasing tinnitus and hyperacusis.

If the doctor is not sure, have someone in your family contact an ENT knowledgable about tinnitus and hyperacusis. Good luck!

Good luck.
I'm freaking out. I don't want to say their name for privacy, but someone recently got back on benzos and their hyperacusis/tinnitus severely worsened. They are no longer with us. What if I meet the same same fate, but from stopping benzos instead of restarting? What if this worsening is so bad I don't survive?

I can't believe I stopped, so stupid. I might have had a chance, now it's gone. I'm scared.

I feel like a jerk and I hope I don't sound like I'm making this tragedy about me. I feel weird posting this. May they rest in peace.
 
I'm freaking out. I don't want to say their name for privacy, but someone recently got back on benzos and their hyperacusis/tinnitus severely worsened. They are no longer with us. What if I meet the same same fate, but from stopping benzos instead of restarting? What if this worsening is so bad I don't survive?

I can't believe I stopped, so stupid. I might have had a chance, now it's gone. I'm scared.

I feel like a jerk and I hope I don't sound like I'm making this tragedy about me. I feel weird posting this. May they rest in peace.
At my worst moments, I didn't know how I would make it through. Each day was a struggle dealing with both catastrophic hyperacusis and tinnitus. I would strongly recommend making an appointment whether in person or via Zoom with the doctor who prescribed the medication. Ask the doctor what steps you should take to mitigate the withdrawal symptoms.

This can help address your fear and give you an accurate picture. The situation may very well be temporary and heightened by withdrawal symptoms. Stopping benzos cold turkey can cause withdrawal systems as this website indicates.

I took 1.5 mg of Klonopin (Clonazepam) for about 5 years and had very little trouble titrating down. However, the tinnitus did increase after a month or two and I went back on 1 mg. Each person is different.

But, it's important to communicate with a doctor. Even your GP should be able to recommend a course of action, either helping to relieve the withdrawal symptoms or perhaps recommending you take a smaller dosage than before and titrate downwards.

I would say it's important to speak your doctor and get medical advice and information.

Namaste.
 
As a 45-year-old man, let me give you some advice. True love from a woman does not exist, so don't beat yourself up over it. Just go on YouTube and type in MGTOW, and you will understand. I am speaking from experience and not misogyny.

This is just the way women are programmed by nature and modern society just made things a million times worse. A woman cannot love you the way a man wants her to, love is transactional basically. While a man functions as a provider, a woman will stick around, but as soon as your finances go up shit's creek, then you will see her heels walking away from you. This is just a basic intro to the subject.

Yes, you can enjoy time with a woman, by all means, but know that in 90%+ of cases, this time is limited and is dependent on what you bring to the table -- not what she brings, and so on.

P.S. The shape of your head has absolutely NO bearing on a woman's desire to be with you. Sure at 18 years old they may shun you, but it's because they are immature. Just wait till you are 25+ and in the meantime work on your purpose (money, career, body) in life so that when the time comes, you can attract a female.
I keep away from these self-destructive, psychotic threads on the whole but this is an interesting topic.

I've just turned 49. In my 20s and 30s I learnt some harsh lessons. The biggest is that women on the whole use men the way we use women. Being told by mums and society that the nicer you are to them, the nicer they are to you is a fallacy. When I was 37-38, a very intelligent 20-year-old woman said 'Nick, all women are whores.' It woke me up. Now I love women and am not here to bash them. The MGTOW movement is childish and a silly cult. Just like we want the sexiest, hottest, most fertile woman - women want a resourceful and confident strong man, with looks at or above her level. It's nature doing its thing. And nature did not evolve by always being kind.

I've no time for virtue signallers or wet blankets, however I still have some compassion.

I am struggling big time with this condition, however, when I'm out at the shops or in the gym, I'm open and engage. I know my worth. There are girls from 18-58 who like me and would like to be with me. I would like to spend more time with some of them. I'm not interested in MGTOW or any silly games or player techniques. I've done all that.

Next time you are out, try just looking at a girl/women in the eye and hold her gaze a bit. They have the same insecurities as men, they just work a little different.

Instead of blaming the past, learn its lesson!
 
Everyone, do we really have to do this in the suicidal thread?
Like seriously.

This thread:

back-to-the-future-train.gif
 
When I was 37-38, a very intelligent 20-year-old woman said 'Nick, all women are whores.' It woke me up. Now I love women and am not here to bash them. The MGTOW movement is childish and a silly cult. Just like we want the sexiest, hottest, most fertile woman - women want a resourceful and confident strong man, with looks at or above her level. It's nature doing its thing. And nature did not evolve by always being kind.
I wouldn't call what a 20-year-old says intelligent. Just brash to get attention.

And no, they aren't. Try that on a church girl.

Weird place to argue this shit.
 
I see all your points of views and thank y'all for sharing them. That being said, I still feel like how you are treated is based on your looks, and I am below average, so I kind of get treated like shit or ignored. It's tiring but I guess I have to outlive my parents before I can give up. I hope y'all pushing strong.
 
I still feel like how you are treated is based on your looks, and I am below average, so I kind of get treated like shit or ignored.
How a person is treated is largely based on their inner confidence and how they hold themselves.

But it also helps to not have an odour or bad breath etc.
 
What a strange topic for a thread dedicated to the idea of ending one's own life.

If, collectively, we can distract ourselves from a topic so dire in a space dedicated to it, we may have more self-control than we imagine.
 
In an effort to get this thread back on track I guess I can let out a mini vent.

As you can imagine, I've been super paranoid about my hearing/ears since my mental health crisis (caused by a Cisplatin-induced tinnitus worsening) back in May, I never want to go back to that as long as I live.

I was playing Final Fantasy XIV Online with some friends and randomly one of the people in the call (not intending to cause harm) didn't know how loud a sound board was and played audio of an air horn... it blared right in my ears and caused a very brief spike.

They apologised profusely and I accepted it but yeah, that was pretty scary for a moment.
 
Current mood:

"Sing me to sleep... sing me to sleep. I'm tired and I, I want to go to bed. There is another world... there is a better world... well, there must be."
 
I feel like this hyperacusis is literally forcing me to take my own life. Leaving me with no other option other than to watch myself degrade to the point where I won't even be capable of carrying through with suicide.
 
I don't know how much more of this I can take.

Tinnitus since this past July.

I never was able to mask as it competes with fans and anything I try to mask it. 2 months constant daily spikes of loud screeching in my left ear accompanied by what sounds like a pit of electric snakes hissing. Then comes a low drone humming in my good ear that is reactive to sound. Best way to describe it is a fridge humming or car idling outside. I've been putting up with this several months. I cry daily. This shit isn't living. Only thing keeping me here is my beautiful kids and wife. If it wasn't for them, I would have already taken the easy way out.

I could understand if I started off with mild tinnitus and accumulated noise damage several years down the road but this shit escalated from one day to the next after syringing my ears to get earwax out. Since then everything is sensitive. I don't have pain hyperacusis, I have loudness hyperacusis. Pissing in the toilet sounds like someone scratching tin foil by my ear. My kid sneezing makes my ears clinch.

I sleep every day hoping I don't wake up.

This shit has taken so much from me. About to be homeless soon. Had to quit an amazing job because my ears would scream from office noise.

I wake up, I spike
I lay down, I spike
I eat something, I spike
I watch a movie, I spike
I listen to low music, I spike
I hear someone sneeze, I spike

I'm giving myself a year. If no improvement, I'm taking my elf out. This isn't living. This is hell.
I've endured a journey through hell since making the above post. Although I'm not fully healed, I can confidently say that I'm no longer plagued by suicidal thoughts or confined to my restroom. I'm gradually reintegrating myself into the world, stepping out once more. The intensity of the tones has significantly subsided, hovering around level two (hissing and "eee") and there are days now where my hyperacusis and tinnitus are nearly non-existent or mild enough to overlook. While I still experience days of intense pitch, I'm actively countering the reactivity with the use of pink noise.

(Onset reactive tinnitus, dysacusis, loudness hyperacusis, mild noxacusis, and TTTS)
 
I see all your points of views and thank y'all for sharing them. That being said, I still feel like how you are treated is based on your looks, and I am below average, so I kind of get treated like shit or ignored. It's tiring but I guess I have to outlive my parents before I can give up. I hope y'all pushing strong.
I had a workmate down on himself because he wasn't tall (5' 7") and he didn't consider himself particularly good looking. I told him of my experiences in Vietnam and how I had met several Huey helicopter pilots; I never met a pilot over 5' 8" but those guys were fearless lions in the air. It's what's inside, my friend.
 
Can tinnitus cause visual snow?

I have had tinnitus for 11 months now. In that time I have noticed a decrease in my hearing ability.

For the last 3 months I have occasionally got bursts of visual snow. It would slowly fade away after a few seconds.

Is this a too much time on the phone problem, or is the tinnitus giving me more problems? I don't want to find myself one day having permanent visual snow.
 
Can tinnitus cause visual snow?

I have had tinnitus for 11 months now. In that time I have noticed a decrease in my hearing ability.

For the last 3 months I have occasionally got bursts of visual snow. It would slowly fade away after a few seconds.

Is this a too much time on the phone problem, or is the tinnitus giving me more problems? I don't want to find myself one day having permanent visual snow.
Perhaps you could try a 1 month experiment where you only use your phone for communication and not for surfing the web, including this forum, to see if it has an effect on your visual snow, i.e. making it better and less frequent.

If you try this, let me know.

Stay well @JimmyStrong.
 
Can tinnitus cause visual snow?

I have had tinnitus for 11 months now. In that time I have noticed a decrease in my hearing ability.

For the last 3 months I have occasionally got bursts of visual snow. It would slowly fade away after a few seconds.

Is this a too much time on the phone problem, or is the tinnitus giving me more problems? I don't want to find myself one day having permanent visual snow.
Many that have visual snow syndrome also have tinnitus. But from my readings, both conditions are brain disorders and may be linked. Nothing about one causing the other.
 

Log in or register to get the full forum benefits!

Register

Register on Tinnitus Talk for free!

Register Now