Suicidal

[PeteJ]

Depression varies from mild to severe, like tinnitus, this is what you are not seeing. Severe depression has horrible physical symptoms. Take four people:

Mild tinnitus and mild depression

Mild tinnitus and severe depression

Severe tinnitus and mild depression

Severe tinnitus and severe depression.

How would they rate tinnitus vs depression?
The comparison does not make sense in general.

Mikhaila Peterson has rheumatoid arthritis and depression. They asked her which was more painful. She said the depression.

She doesn't have severe tinnitus.
You are the one "not seeing."

Severe tinnitus brings severe depression.

Someone who only has depression, severe or otherwise, has a chance to somehow live with it. I know people with depression and I see it.

 

[Vicious99]

She doesn't have severe tinnitus.
You are the one "not seeing."

Severe tinnitus brings severe depression.

I have severe tinnitus and I had severe depression. I couldn't work, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't socialize, I couldn't do much anything, I saw nothing in my future.

I still have severe tinnitus, it hasn't gotten any better, but now my depression is much less. I can work, I can sleep, I can socialize, and I see hope in the future.

So can you please not assume you know people or their conditions. You are a piece of work.

 

[DaveFromChicago]

To all to gain:

The last psychiatrist I saw put me on Zoloft; my metabolism could not absorb it and it backed up in my system, causing me paranoid hallucinations and difficulty in breathing.

I am curious if, given the number of prescribable psychoactive drugs, there is something that can be administered daily that my system can absorb to minimize the panic/depression symptoms (without, of course aggravating the tinnitus).

Also, I am taking a curcumin that is supposed to have the highest absorption rate. I am also curious about how long it would take for this to affect tinnitus.

 

[MRItechssuck]

Well this sucks. My son's first band concert and all I can hear is the damn tinnitus.
Just because some loser technician couldn't do her f..king job properly.

 

[PeteJ]

Well this sucks. My son's first band concert and all I can hear is the damn tinnitus.
Just because some loser technician couldn't do her f..king job properly.

Did you wear musician's plugs?
I don't have any pleasure from listening to music anymore. I don't listen to music in fact unless it's part of a tv show or movie which I watch at home.
I know my post doesn't help (you) but I used to enjoy music so the devastation, so I get you on some level.

I don't understand how musicians continue when they have tinnitus. I do know some have committed suicide eventually, though, so not everyone continues with music.

 

[dan]

I have described it several times throughout this forum, but I don't see the point in describing it anymore. Honestly, what's the point in describing it? You will never know how mine sounds, nor will I know how yours sounds. And in fact, it doesn't really matter.

Talk about the tinnitus of others it's just pointless and speculative. This is not a contest to see who has the loudest tinnitus or who describes it in the most terrifying way.

We're all suffering because of it. I suppose all of us have fucking severe tinnitus.

For god shake.

I'm not making a contest, I'm trying to help you. By ascertaining the characteristics of your tinnitus one can speculate how soon you will habituate. Not all here have severe tinnitus by far. Some people wanna off themselves in the beginning because of mild tinnitus which seems severe to them.

 

[MRItechssuck]

Did you wear musician's plugs?
I don't have any pleasure from listening to music anymore. I don't listen to music in fact unless it's part of a tv show or movie which I watch at home.
I know my post doesn't help (you) but I used to enjoy music so the devastation, so I get you on some level.

I don't understand how musicians continue when they have tinnitus. I do know some have committed suicide eventually, though, so not everyone continues with music.

I only had a 10 dB filter in some silicone earplugs. A full HS concert band...loud enough to make me wear earplugs...but then I had my 70 dB tinnitus front and center. Tinnitus sucks.

 

[PeteJ]

I only had a 10 dB filter in some silicone earplugs. A full HS concert band...loud enough to make me wear earplugs...but then I had my 70 dB tinnitus front and center. Tinnitus sucks.

I hate wearing plugs. I have some discomfort with foam plugs but that is not as bad as it used to be.

But, my tinnitus is worse since then and it's what makes wearing plugs or even my muffs hell.

Your tinnitus sounds bad - I was describing my tinnitus 'at 70 dB' too but I was informed on here that's not good way to describe it. Whatever, right?

 

[PeteJ]

I just wanted to say that someone on a suicide site who had years of severe depression and who got tinnitus afterwards is saying EXACTLY what I have been saying. So according to two posters here, make that three, they must think she is selfish too. Anyway, at least someone knew what I meant even if it was a different site.

 

[Ed209]

BS. Tired of Ed's and your BS too. People here with tinnitus and whatever ear/hearing-related condition they have automatically get depressed from it. So they don't have just severe tinnitus, they are depressed too.

I know people who are depressed including severely depressed. I had depression before tinnitus at times and probably longer than I thought. But, having tinnitus and ear pain on top of that is different. It's also worse. Maybe people who don't have severe tinnitus can't realize that. I don't know but it seems like it.

Pete, people are just trying to be helpful. However, I personally don't like how you are undermining depression when it's clear you have no idea what you're talking about. My life has been directly affected by the effects of severe depression and the things you're saying are not even remotely true. Clinical depression is a spectrum disorder just like tinnitus is and we can see how a depressed brain is different from a normal brain through various imaging studies. Depression can cause many physical ailments as well.

The severity of your problems, Pete, may stem more from your depression than your tinnitus. With these kinds of problems it's hard to tell what's driving what, but let's just say they all lead to suffering and that's the only measure that's important. To say that tinnitus is worse - which were your exact words - is just wrong and not true.

My friend didn't have tinnitus but he drank a bottle of industrial chemicals which burnt through all of his insides making him cough and choke on his own blood and flesh. He decided to take this action because in his mind the depression was hurting him far more than any chemical ever could.

Stop comparing, because in tinnitus cases depression is a very common comorbidity as you already said. I think you should apologise to Danish Girl in all honesty.

 

[Björn]

As someone who lives with both severe tinnitus and depression(because of tinnitus), I must say that the hopelessness connected to tinnitus is just something else(for me), the big difference is that even really bad depression in most cases gets better by time, you might not understand this in the middle of the storm, but if you don't kill yourself, you will get better, or at least be able to cope better, as with mild to moderate tinnitus. If you have my kind of tinnitus, it's just will get worse, and keep triggering depression.

I have close friends who has been in really bad places mentally, for years, not just depressed, I am talking about undiagnosed bi polar-disorder, many years of suicidal thoughts, unable to function for almost a decade( in one extreme case), but with the right support, medications and therapy, they all live normal lifes today. I can't even take medications because they ruined my ears like this, and the tinnitus and hypercusis will never get better, as it seems, if not some regenerate miracle happens.

I have been depressed for the last 5 years since my tinnitus got worse, and there is no light in this dark tunnel, despite a lot of therapy and a good social network, and it all goes down to my f*ucking ears. Ironically it was an ad who broke the camels back, and I would trade everything to be like all of my depressed friends who took the same medicine and got out of depression. Severe tinnitus + depression is just an unbelievable combo of hell, offering the potential of eternal suffering, but some people seem to be able to live good lives despite severe tinnitus, and I still hope I'm one of those people, but I would really say that if I only had severe depression, my odds would be a lot better.

I understand that it´s meaningless to compare struggles, but I think there are degrees in hell. Are there cases of depression worse than my suffering? Yes. But, I understand the need to put some light on the horrendous combo of severe tinnitus + depression.

 

[Ed209]

As someone who lives with both severe tinnitus and depression(because of tinnitus), I must say that the hopelessness connected to tinnitus is just something else(for me), the big difference is that even really bad depression in most cases gets better by time, you might not understand this in the middle of the storm, but if you don't kill yourself, you will get better, or at least be able to cope better, as with mild to moderate tinnitus. If you have my kind of tinnitus, it's just will get worse, and keep triggering depression.

I have close friends who have been in really bad places mentally, for years, not just depressed, I am talking about undiagnosed bi polar-disorder, many years of suicidal thoughts, unable to function for almost a decade( in one extreme case), but with the right support, medications and therapy, they all live normal lifes today. I can't even take medications because they ruined my ears like this, and the tinnitus and hypercusis will never get better, as it seems, if not some regenerate miracle happens.

I have been depressed for the last 5 years since my tinnitus got worse, and there is no light in this dark tunnel, despite a lot of therapy and a good social network, and it all goes down to my f*ucking ears. Ironically it was an ad who broke the camels back, and I would trade everything to be like all of my depressed friends who took the same medicine and got out of depression. Severe tinnitus + depression is just an unbelievable combo of hell, offering the potential of eternal suffering, but some people seem to be able to live good lives despite severe tinnitus, and I still hope I'm one of those people, but I would really say that if I only had severe depression, my odds would be a lot better.

I understand that it´s meaningless to compare struggles, but I think there are degrees in hell. Are there cases of depression worse than my suffering? Yes. But, I understand the need to put some light on the horrendous combo of severe tinnitus + depression.

I really sympathise with your suffering and I understand what you're going through and I mean that sincerely. However, your post is full of generalities much the same as Pete's. There can be no comparison.

You say most people recover from depression but the same could be said about tinnitus. The opposite is true in both cases as well, which is why it makes zero sense to compare, because everyone is different. Some cases of tinnitus end in suicide and some cases of depression end in suicide. Who suffered more? Why does this even matter when we know what the outcomes were? It's nonsensical.

They are both hideous in their worst forms.

I feel the need to demean other sufferers in this way is a cry for help and a way of lashing out, which is understandable given the torment.

 

[PeteJ]

Pete, people are just trying to be helpful. However, I personally don't like how you are undermining depression when it's clear you have no idea what you're talking about. My life has been directly affected by the effects of severe depression and the things you're saying are not even remotely true. Clinical depression is a spectrum disorder just like tinnitus is and we can see how a depressed brain is different from a normal brain through various imaging studies. Depression can cause many physical ailments as well.

The severity of your problems, Pete, may stem more from your depression than your tinnitus. With these kinds of problems it's hard to tell what's driving what, but let's just say they all lead to suffering and that's the only measure that's important. To say that tinnitus is worse - which were your exact words - is just wrong and not true.

My friend didn't have tinnitus but he drank a bottle of industrial chemicals which burnt through all of his insides making him cough and choke on his own blood and flesh. He decided to take this action because in his mind the depression was hurting him far more than any chemical ever could.

Stop comparing, because in tinnitus cases depression is a very common comorbidity as you already said. I think you should apologise to Danish Girl in all honesty.

I never undermined depression. I am tired of arguing about this. I don't want to reply to you anymore. I explained my opinion enough. I thought the fact someone who had severe depression thought the same way as I do would be meaningful to you and a few others but I guess not. So I will drop it.

 

[PeteJ]

As someone who lives with both severe tinnitus and depression(because of tinnitus), I must say that the hopelessness connected to tinnitus is just something else(for me), the big difference is that even really bad depression in most cases gets better by time, you might not understand this in the middle of the storm, but if you don't kill yourself, you will get better, or at least be able to cope better, as with mild to moderate tinnitus. If you have my kind of tinnitus, it's just will get worse, and keep triggering depression.

I have close friends who has been in really bad places mentally, for years, not just depressed, I am talking about undiagnosed bi polar-disorder, many years of suicidal thoughts, unable to function for almost a decade( in one extreme case), but with the right support, medications and therapy, they all live normal lifes today. I can't even take medications because they ruined my ears like this, and the tinnitus and hypercusis will never get better, as it seems, if not some regenerate miracle happens.

I have been depressed for the last 5 years since my tinnitus got worse, and there is no light in this dark tunnel, despite a lot of therapy and a good social network, and it all goes down to my f*ucking ears. Ironically it was an ad who broke the camels back, and I would trade everything to be like all of my depressed friends who took the same medicine and got out of depression. Severe tinnitus + depression is just an unbelievable combo of hell, offering the potential of eternal suffering, but some people seem to be able to live good lives despite severe tinnitus, and I still hope I'm one of those people, but I would really say that if I only had severe depression, my odds would be a lot better.

I understand that it´s meaningless to compare struggles, but I think there are degrees in hell. Are there cases of depression worse than my suffering? Yes. But, I understand the need to put some light on the horrendous combo of severe tinnitus + depression.

Yes. Exactly. There was never an intention to undervalue or minimize the suffering of (straight) depression but like you said, tinnitus is a unique animal and in the cases when it's severe enough, severe depression follows anyway. I didn't mean it to be a "comparison" that would offend some people. In fact, I don't understand it since they have tinnitus themselves.

 

[PeteJ]

I really sympathise with your suffering and I understand what you're going through and I mean that sincerely. However, your post is full of generalities much the same as Pete's. There can be no comparison.

You say most people recover from depression but the same could be said about tinnitus. The opposite is true in both cases as well, which is why it makes zero sense to compare, because everyone is different. Some cases of tinnitus end in suicide and some cases of depression end in suicide. Who suffered more? Why does this even matter when we know what the outcomes were? It's nonsensical.

They are both hideous in their worst forms.

I feel the need to demean other sufferers in this way is a cry for help and a way of lashing out, which is understandable given the torment.

You don't sympathize with anyone's suffering. You just want to insult and shame people who don't agree with you. He wasn't generalizing. He is another person who IS STILL depressed but recognizes the additional burden and torture show that tinnitus can be.

 

[linearb]

You don't sympathize with anyone's suffering. You just want to insult and shame people who don't agree with you.

Pot is calling the kettle black, dude.

Ed has been around here for a long time, I think he takes a very reasonable and balanced approach to things, I can link you 100 places where he's gone way overboard to express empathy for someone in distress (including you in many cases), and he has like 3500 appreciative ratings from other members for his posts

I know you are in an unbelievable distress state which seems to be going on and on forever, but you just continue to lash out at people who are trying to help you because you refuse to believe any of them are.

Do you think ANYONE here is offering you useful advice, or helping? If not, what the heck are you still doing here? :-S

 

[valeri]

Tinnitus, dizziness and chronic pain are the most disturbing symptoms human being can have... full stop!

And this is from a doctor's mouth!

 

[Harley]

Tinnitus, dizziness and chronic pain are the most disturbing symptoms human being can have... full stop!

And this is from a doctor's mouth!

This is the stuff nightmares are made of.
Pointless, permanent suffering with no help available.

 

[PeteJ]

@PeteJ I doubt if you have depression, at least not clinical because otherwise you wouldn't able to write so creatively. I just don't see any signs of clinical depression from your postings.

I know a little about depression with the very young to the very old. With the young, it's important to make them feel worthy. It 's needed to have them develop likable interests. I use to spend many hours after my hospital shift was over with both young and elderly patients with depression. For the young, giving them baseball, football, basketball, or non sport trading cards made a difference. I had a discount contract with a trading card company that supplied wax packs which always placed smiles on their faces. Each wax was like a present, not knowing what is inside the wrapping. For the elderly, depression was more about things that they wished were different during their lives. For them, often it was about relationships, being lonely or feeling abused. Many with depression feel guilt and I don't see you as having that.

You do seem to have hyperactive moments which would be caused by your blood pressure rising. This can cause ear pain. When under emotional stress the muscles in your ears can fold outwards. Ear plug use causing pain is possible. Hyperactivity with rising blood pressure can associate to hyperacusis variations and all forms of tinnitus. Those who have worked in factories, a noisy environment or the military - when under pressure to achieve goals, often develop hyperactive blood pressure. The jaw or even the tongue could also associate to hyper blood pressure, besides hearing loss tinnitus.

I do have depression because of the tinnitus and how severe it is. It find it mind boggling that someone would think otherwise. I am insulted on Tinnitus Talk because I disagree with the outrageous accusations. I struggle to type here since I am forced to use my phone and my tinnitus is so loud. Many famous writers had depression and I am not comparing myself to them by any means but your reason for judging me is faulty.

I only asserted the added torment of severe tinnitus is unique especially since such people often have depression as well - understandably, I thought. A poster here knew what I was talking about and a girl on a suicide site stated the same opinion in her words and she also has tinnitus.

I have one more thing I can sell and I am planning on buying a rope and hopefully something else for my suicide method. I am scared though. I don't care if you or anyone else doesn't think I am depressed. You don't know me.

 

[PeteJ]

Pot is calling the kettle black, dude.

Ed has been around here for a long time, I think he takes a very reasonable and balanced approach to things, I can link you 100 places where he's gone way overboard to express empathy for someone in distress (including you in many cases), and he has like 3500 appreciative ratings from other members for his posts

I know you are in an unbelievable distress state which seems to be going on and on forever, but you just continue to lash out at people who are trying to help you because you refuse to believe any of them are.

Do you think ANYONE here is offering you useful advice, or helping? If not, what the heck are you still doing here? :-S

Ed called me selfish because I made the assertion that having severe tinnitus and depression is worse than just depression alone. I wasn't minimizing anyone's depression. It was ridiculous that anyone would get offended. He calls me names so I think I can do without that type of "help."

I am not lashing out at people trying to help. Those people are insulting and belittling me. Just like you are now.

Edit: Greg Sacramento and quite a few others have helped me. If I didn't come here, I wouldn't have thought of the break system at the dentist or thought of trying noise cancelling headphones. Even if someone's advice doesn't help, I do appreciate the effort. I probably should say that more. But, my life is shit, my tinnitus is really loud with several tones and with ear pain - so my mood is not as cheery as others here! Sorry!

 

[valeri]

Ed called me selfish because I made the assertion that having severe tinnitus and depression is worse than just depression alone. I wasn't minimizing anyone's depression. It was ridiculous that anyone would get offended. He calls me names so I think I can do without that type of "help."

I am not lashing out at people trying to help. Those people are insulting and belittling me. Just like you are now.

Personally I can't think of a worse combo than severe tinnitus and depression.

On its own and when severe enough, each can tip you over the edge so combined should not be a brainer.

 

[dan]

I have one more thing I can sell and I am planning on buying a rope and hopefully something else for my suicide method. I am scared though. I don't care if you or anyone else doesn't think I am depressed. You don't know me.

Pete you will habituate. Wait 2 years.

 

[PeteJ]

@Greg Sacramento,
Thanks for your 2nd paragraph. I do appreciate your help a lot. My ear pain is very distressing for me and I can't get any pain meds. Do you really believe it's not nerve/physical damage? I do think TMJ is preferable because I don't think physical damage is treatable.

You are also right about blood pressure. It's high. So I do take your advice to heart even if some of it is critical. But, I am trying to take sincere attempts at helping but some of it includes underhanded insults as well. Look, I have little money, little in the way of family and I don't want to live with this anymore. There's no way to reduce the tinnitus volume/noise and it stops me from doing anything (particularly working). Then there is the pain in my ears. I struggle at typing this.

I wish I could do my life over again and that is not a healthy thing - having regret like that.

 

[valeri]

This is the stuff nightmares are made of.
Pointless, permanent suffering with no help available.

I went to ENT who said it's not tinnitus being problem but depression.

I went to psychiatrist who said (listen to this) my WEIGHT is a MAJOR HEALTH THREAT!!!!

Ummm... what about tinnitus? It's tinnitus that destroyed my life, my body, my mind...

Not interested! Their ego is too big to admit they are clueless!

 

[Hazel]

Ed called me selfish

Those people are insulting and belittling me. Just like you are now.

Pete, @Ed209 did not use those words, nor did @linearb belittle you. You are reading intentions behind their comments that aren't there. You may not like what they are saying but that does not make them bullies.

It's difficult for people here to see you struggle and reach out for help yet disregard any advice.

 

[PeteJ]

Pete, @Ed209 did not use those words, nor did @linearb belittle you. You are reading intentions behind their comments that aren't there. You may not like what they are saying but that does not make them bullies.

It's difficult for people here to see you struggle and reach out for help yet disregard any advice.

He said I have a selfish mindset and also explicitly implied he doesn't think my tinnitus is that bad.

linearb often insults me in his replies and I am tired of being told that I am disregarding advice! That's false!

 

[astaff14]

Man I'm feeling so terrible tonight. Awful day at work, a bunch of other stresses after, no days off in over a week, little sleep, I'm on my period which always messes with my head, and I'm still on edge from a panic attack I had a few days ago. I don't find any real enjoyment in my life, this tinnitus has really diminished the quality of the life I did have and I just don't want to do anything but lay in bed. Today is bad, there's awful screech and siren I've been getting on and off throughout the day. No one in my life understands and no one wants to try and accommodate me with the noises anymore, it's always just a nuisance. And it kills me because it's not like it's even that bad, it's the anxiety and the paranoia about being out in the world and making it worse that really hurts. I used to love my job but now I struggle to get through every shift and cringe at every loud noise, I cause them too sometimes, dropping things and etc. I hate it and I hate myself for making my tinnitus worse like this. I don't see the point to life this low in quality. My life sucked beforehand but now I really just can't find any joy.

 

[PeteJ]

Man I'm feeling so terrible tonight. Awful day at work, a bunch of other stresses after, no days off in over a week, little sleep, I'm on my period which always messes with my head, and I'm still on edge from a panic attack I had a few days ago. I don't find any real enjoyment in my life, this tinnitus has really diminished the quality of the life I did have and I just don't want to do anything but lay in bed. Today is bad, there's awful screech and siren I've been getting on and off throughout the day. No one in my life understands and no one wants to try and accommodate me with the noises anymore, it's always just a nuisance. And it kills me because it's not like it's even that bad, it's the anxiety and the paranoia about being out in the world and making it worse that really hurts. I used to love my job but now I struggle to get through every shift and cringe at every loud noise, I cause them too sometimes, dropping things and etc. I hate it and I hate myself for making my tinnitus worse like this. I don't see the point to life this low in quality. My life sucked beforehand but now I really just can't find any joy.

Is possible to find another job? Something less noisy and less stressful - an office maybe? I just get an impression that your job is really stressful and people aren't accommodating you regarding noise etc. Being on edge and being stressed/anxious just makes everything worse. Maybe your local area has a support system for finding jobs like an employment office - that can help you look for something more suitable and accommodating? I know that isn't the best help and advice but your situation doesn't sound like it will get better or improve on its own.

 

[just1morething]

Very loud music.
Hope to see you at my convalescent house soon...

You may get kicked in the balls though? How will that reduce your noise?

 

[Greg Sacramento]

@Greg Sacramento,
Thanks for your 2nd paragraph. I do appreciate your help a lot. My ear pain is very distressing for me and I can't get any pain meds. Do you really believe it's not nerve/physical damage? I do think TMJ is preferable because I don't think physical damage is treatable.

You are also right about blood pressure. It's high. So I do take your advice to heart even if some of it is critical. But, I am trying to take sincere attempts at helping but some of it includes underhanded insults as well. Look, I have little money, little in the way of family and I don't want to live with this anymore. There's no way to reduce the tinnitus volume/noise and it stops me from doing anything (particularly working). Then there is the pain in my ears. I struggle at typing this.

I wish I could do my life over again and that is not a healthy thing - having regret like that.

Thank you for your thoughts.
It's is not unusual for those with tinnitus or physical illnesses to have mind and body issues.
There are several ways ways to communicate. They include: written word, voice - telephone, video, or in person.
Most of our communication to each other here is by written word. @Jazzer and a few others have made videos. Some have met each other in person or by way of conferences. I often communicate to others here by the PM feature or by personnel email. I seldom use a telephone because my ears are sensitive.

I never discuss acceptance because I don't have acceptance myself. I do talk about possible treatments - either directly to a poster or in open forum. All should consider self thought, self research and medical advice attained in person. This is a help support board and this is what we do. We write about our body and mind concerns as well as expression from others. Most that communicate to others here do it with best interest and with caring compassion.

Body and mind often has overlaps. One problem can cause another.

Pete, you have mentioned hearing several sounds. Almost always when several sounds are heard, blood flow and blood pressure have involvement. Like myself, and with others, hyperactivity is possible with tinnitus and hyperacusis, regardless of cause which may not be known. Brief hyper motion moments can increase existing physical problems or cause them and physical ailments can also increase or cause emotional hypersensitivity. When the mind, hyper emotions happen, the jaw, muscles, bones can react. Veins, arteries, the heart, eyes and abdominal concerns including the abdominal aortic can become stress. The abdominal aortic is a leading cause for men over 65.

I prefer to discuss body over mind which is not as popular as discussing mind over body. We all have the same body parts, but we have different life and environment experiences and heredity.

One problem that I see often see here is the use of certain medications and/or vitamins taken at the same time. Certain medications and even too much of a single vitamin or food product can cause more harm for some with tinnitus. Everyone should place what they are taking - side by side - into an internet search to see if there's any side effects when taking too close together.

To ready help you Pete, I would need to see blood pressure and blood work results - as some type of class medication is needed. For you, if you have high blood pressure, then you may have jaw tension and ear pain, but emotional hyper blood pressure moments may be cause for that. Emotional hyper blood pressure moments happening often may be primary, but causing jaw imbalance and ear pain. WHY - because you have multiple sounds. Some type of class medication based on blood work and level of blood pressure may stop ear pain and help with tinnitus.