Suicidal

[PeteJ]

I have described it several times throughout this forum, but I don't see the point in describing it anymore. Honestly, what's the point in describing it? You will never know how mine sounds, nor will I know how yours sounds. And in fact, it doesn't really matter.

Talk about the tinnitus of others it's just pointless and speculative. This is not a contest to see who has the loudest tinnitus or who describes it in the most terrifying way.

We're all suffering because of it. I suppose all of us have fucking severe tinnitus.

For god shake.

We "rate it" because of the reasons you mentioned. There's no other way to get any idea. I know it's a subjective rating or subjective judgment but expressing a judgment on perceived severity must be done for doctors, audiologists, psychiatrists or anyone we talk to who asks about it. Since they can't hear it, measure it (researchers and measuring pitch is an arguable exception) or experience it, it's all we can do since it's invisible.

It's horribly and hopelessly unique in that way.

You are right, though. It's not much help but what else can one do?

 

[Harley]

I remember his face. He is still traumatised to this day.

I can't blame him.
My assumption is, that even if our Tinnitus somehow went away, some form of PTSD is almost inevitable.

It's like being brutally tortured around the clock while being held hostage.
Couple years of that and you will never be the same.

 

[Ed209]

Not all depression as well as bipolar illness or the likes can be treated. Some are treatment resistant and chronic. If all could be treated there wouldn't be so many suicides from it.

Absolutely, Danish Girl. I'm not sure why people feel the need to compare tinnitus to other illnesses all the time, but to say depression isn't as bad is seriously misguided. Suicide is still the number one cause of death for young males in the UK and one of the most significant factors in this is clinical depression. I'm starting to think that the current popularity surrounding depression is starting to give some the wrong idea. I honestly believe that there are many out there who think depression means that people just feel a bit sad and that drugs or therapy will immediately snap them out of it.

I've had to take my mother to AnE after she has cut herself to pieces and taken overdoses. It's no joke, it's a living nightmare. My mom is tortured every day with it and it's clearly linked to her horrific childhood. I also have an older friend - who is clinically depressed - who tried to kill himself by drinking a bottle of heavy-duty chemicals. He was the foreman of a foundry at the time and the other staff found him at his desk covered in blood. How he survived nobody knows. It burnt through a lot of his throat and wrecked his stomach and he needed surgery to save his life. If it wasn't for the fast-acting staff he would have succeeded, but what I can't understand is why he chose that method. The mental torment he was facing was simply so bad that he didn't care and he just grabbed the bottle and drank it. If that isn't proof enough of how evil depression can be then I don't know what is.

I know how much you suffer, Danish Girl, and I feel so sorry for you. Having that kind of darkness hanging over you all the time is no life. I know that nothing I can say will do a damn thing about it, but just know I care.

 

[DaveFromChicago]

All of the above arguments (which contain valuable insights) only result in my conclusion that psychiatry even in 2020 (and doesn't that sound like a year in an H.G.Wells futuristic novel?) is woefully, astoundingly bereft of knowledge and treatments for so many brain malfunctions.

Tinnitus has resulted in me having unprecedented, overwhelming levels of panic that I had not even thought my brain/consciousness was capable of registering.

And, it occurred to me that as a Commercial Property Insurance Adjuster I had to go into some of most notoriously crime ridden neighborhoods in Chicago, and even when the people I was with had guns and were ready to shoot it out with seriously, threateningly approaching gangs, my level of pure unadulterated fear did not at all reach what it has been with this condition.

My wife has chastised me for always having (as never before) such a short temper that I become enraged when someone, for example, takes just a little too long to parallel park in front of me.
The fact that I am always on super/hyperalert defensiveness regarding the next spike (not to mention the ever-present baseline level) has exhausted me because of this constant state of irritability.

It feels as if there is a diabolically clever guerrilla insurgency waiting to ambush me when I least expect it, at the most inopportune moment.

And when this spike occurs, I will have a spaced-out aphasic affect that is similar to an initial migraine aura.

I am forced to become so preoccupied with this loud internal noise (which now sounds like a huge sheet of paper being torn) that I have difficulty in responding during a conversation.

My reading comprehension and both short and long term memory have been reduced by at least 25%.

This is particularly distressing since I was an English Major and I always prided myself on being able to readily understand the most complex prose (another ability that tinnitus has undermined).

After 6 years I have acquired a distanced, objective realization that this condition has produced various symptoms that can be characterized under the general definition of PTSD.

In spite of my best efforts to arrest all of the abovementioned symptoms, they are nonetheless worsening no matter how many habituation exercises, strategies, etc. I employ.

 

[PeteJ]

You are devaluing people who have severe tinnitus.

 

[PeteJ]

I wish I kept my funds for this month for the exit bag or a rope. I keep choosing food and expenses. I don't want to be alive though so why?

Yeah, depressed people WITHOUT TINNITUS can more easily pick suicidal methods because they don't have loud tones distracting concentration!!

 

[acute]

We "rate it" because of the reasons you mentioned. There's no other way to get any idea. I know it's a subjective rating or subjective judgment but expressing a judgment on perceived severity must be done for doctors, audiologists, psychiatrists or anyone we talk to who asks about it. Since they can't hear it, measure it (researchers and measuring pitch is an arguable exception) or experience it, it's all we can do since it's invisible.

It's horribly and hopelessly unique in that way.

You are right, though. It's not much help but what else can one do?

I'm agree with you that describing your tinnitus to a doctor or to someone you think that can help you may be positive. Even describing it to people who do not have tinnitus can help them realize the grand ammount of suffering we are experiencing.

But... compare our tinnitus? For what purpose? That has no sense. We are already tinnitus sufferers. We all suffer. It's all that matters. We don't have to prove anything to each other.

We can come here and give vent to our emotions, of course. And of course, it's understandable to be curious about what others hear. Mostly because if it can be similar to what you hear... you may feel that you are not alone in this. But at the end of the day, knowing what others hear do not aliviate anybody... nor provide any help or relieve; at least in my case.

I'm agree with you in the need of expressing and describing our tinnitus severity to doctors, audiologists, psychiatrists or any person you think that can help you.

 

[PeteJ]

I'm agree with you that describing your tinnitus to a doctor or to someone you think that can help you may be positive. Even describing it to people who do not have tinnitus can help them realize the grand ammount of suffering we are experiencing.

But... compare our tinnitus? For what purpose? That has no sense. We are already tinnitus sufferers. We all suffer. It's all that matters. We don't have to prove anything to each other.

We can come here and give vent to our emotions, of course. And of course, it's understandable to be curious about what others hear. Mostly because if it can be similar to what you hear... you may feel that you are not alone in this. But at the end of the day, knowing what others hear do not aliviate anybody... nor provide any help or relieve; at least in my case.

I'm agree with you in the need of expressing and describing our tinnitus severity to doctors, audiologists, psychiatrists or any person you think that can help you.

Hmmm...someone who has mild tinnitus in a quiet room - once, I have an idea what their tinnitus is like will probably be interpreted differently than advice from someone who has severe tinnitus (which is expressed to me) so I think descriptions and comparisons will inevitably happen. It doesn't alleviate or change the state of our respective tinnitus conditions, true.

 

[astaff14]

All of the above arguments (which contain valuable insights) only result in my conclusion that psychiatry even in 2020 (and doesn't that sound like a year in an H.G.Wells futuristic novel?) is woefully, astoundingly bereft of knowledge and treatments for so many brain malfunctions.

Tinnitus has resulted in me having unprecedented, overwhelming levels of panic that I had not even thought my brain/consciousness was capable of registering.

And, it occurred to me that as a Commercial Property Insurance Adjuster I had to go into some of most notoriously crime ridden neighborhoods in Chicago, and even when the people I was with had guns and were ready to shoot it out with seriously, threateningly approaching gangs, my level of pure unadulterated fear did not at all reach what it has been with this condition.

My wife has chastised me for always having (as never before) such a short temper that I become enraged when someone, for example, takes just a little too long to parallel park in front of me.
The fact that I am always on super/hyperalert defensiveness regarding the next spike (not to mention the ever-present baseline level) has exhausted me because of this constant state of irritability.

It feels as if there is a diabolically clever guerrilla insurgency waiting to ambush me when I least expect it, at the most inopportune moment.

And when this spike occurs, I will have a spaced-out aphasic affect that is similar to an initial migraine aura.

I am forced to become so preoccupied with this loud internal noise (which now sounds like a huge sheet of paper being torn) that I have difficulty in responding during a conversation.

My reading comprehension and both short and long term memory have been reduced by at least 25%.

This is particularly distressing since I was an English Major and I always prided myself on being able to readily understand the most complex prose (another ability that tinnitus has undermined).

After 6 years I have acquired a distanced, objective realization that this condition has produced various symptoms that can be characterized under the general definition of PTSD.

In spite of my best efforts to arrest all of the abovementioned symptoms, they are nonetheless worsening no matter how many habituation exercises, strategies, etc. I employ.

Do you have any good days or moments?

Tinnitus like you've described sounds particularly distressing. I'd say more so than a ring or hiss, for sure.
I can't believe people suffer like this and experience such a range of noises. I am so sorry.
Mine isn't nearly as bad as many on this forum and in this thread particularly. But it's given me this overall mentality that I don't care if I die. I was already pretty depressed, but now most things just feel so meaningless.

 

[Pawel1]

Before I go to bed, I sometimes take 250-500 mg of L-Theanine, 1 gram of GABA and a few other herbal stuff. This composition, makes me feel me feel as sleepy, as if I had drunk 2 or 3 beers.

I'm not sure if Melatonin ever worked for me, but L-Theanine and GABA, surely calm me down.

 

[Daniel Lion]

Hi everyone.

I have managed to get my sleep back and a few other tings despite my hearing loss and unchanging tinnitus. It just sizzles away and is high pitched and loud .

I just wanted to share 4 things that have helped me.
1. Exercise
2. Saunas or steam baths.
3. Healthy food
4. Massage

Not taking vitamins or drugs for sleep or anything. Not opposed but not taking.
I am lucky because massage and herbal steam baths are really cheap here.

Love you guys, my brothers and sisters.
Hoping you all can feel a little bit better.

 

[PeteJ]

Before I go to bed, I sometimes take 250-500 mg of L-Theanine, 1 gram of GABA and a few other herbal stuff. This composition, makes me feel me feel as sleepy, as if I had drunk 2 or 3 beers.

I'm not sure if Melatonin ever worked for me, but L-Theanine and GABA, surely calm me down.

Examples of what you buy???

 

[PeteJ]

Why does tinnitus go "crazy" at night?

Does anyone know what I mean? I wish I had a better description.

Tones are loud and 'fast tempo' - again I wish I had a better description. Maybe musicians have one? I know it won't help any but I just want a better description.

I am dying here. I feel like smashing my head when the ringing starts going haywire. :-(

 

[Barbara777]

Why does tinnitus go "crazy" at night?

Get an indoor waterfall to mask your tinnitus.

 

[just1morething]

@PeteJ, maybe look at this website? I'm still confused about my noise. One TMJ specialist thought my noise was likely from my TMJ. ENTs say HF hearing loss caused.

https://managebackpain.com/tmj-pain/tmj-tinnitus

 

[Barbara777]

One TMJ specialist thought my noise was likely from my TMJ.

How surprising.

 

[just1morething]

How surprising.

Yeah it was this Dr.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/possible-tmj.26586/#post-307927

 

[all to gain]

All of the above arguments (which contain valuable insights) only result in my conclusion that psychiatry even in 2020 (and doesn't that sound like a year in an H.G.Wells futuristic novel?) is woefully, astoundingly bereft of knowledge and treatments for so many brain malfunctions.

That's because psychiatry is quackery of the highest order.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

You are devaluing people who have severe tinnitus.

.......And you are doing exactly the same for those who have other horrible condition like severe depression.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

I take Remeron for sleep. Very effective.

But it's probably best to try natural supplements first. But if all else fails, it's an option. It's the safest AD to take, when you have tinnitus.

 

[Ed209]

.......And you are doing exactly the same for those who have other horrible condition like severe depression.

I personally think it's quite a selfish mindset to have. To compare different conditions in this way and to believe some have it worse than others. There are some vile conditions out there that have no cure. We are not alone in our suffering.

 

[linearb]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: glassing my brain with THC and CBD == insomnia neva again

 

[PeteJ]

.......And you are doing exactly the same for those who have other horrible condition like severe depression.

BS. Tired of Ed's and your BS too. People here with tinnitus and whatever ear/hearing-related condition they have automatically get depressed from it. So they don't have just severe tinnitus, they are depressed too.

I know people who are depressed including severely depressed. I had depression before tinnitus at times and probably longer than I thought. But, having tinnitus and ear pain on top of that is different. It's also worse. Maybe people who don't have severe tinnitus can't realize that. I don't know but it seems like it.

 

[Chinmoku]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: glassing my brain with THC and CBD == insomnia neva again

CBD spikes my tinnitus unfortunately, otherwise it would be perfect for everything else. THC is widely reported to spike tinnitus. It doesn't for you?

 

[linearb]

CBD spikes my tinnitus unfortunately, otherwise it would be perfect for everything else. THC is widely reported to spike tinnitus. It doesn't for you?

I've completely given up on trying to keep track of what does or doesn't cause temporary fluctuations in my tinnitus, honestly, but.... I don't think it gets any better with cannabis cessation? Certainly, the short to mid term effect of cessation is total disruption of my sleep patterns, which definitely makes things worse.

If cannabinnoids mess with my tinnitus, at this moment the cons are worth the pros. Insomnia has been a bear for me since I was about 14, I am wired to be pretty vigilant and restless. There are places where this is beneficial, but sleep isn't one of them.

We should likely differentiate chronic use from acute use. I don't get particularly intoxicated from cannabis based on the way I use it, and so that interacts with my tinnitus one way. If I switched to only using weekly, then I would get much more intoxicated and it might impact my tinnitus differently.

Additionally, the benefit I see to sleep, also only occurs with chronic use: if I haven't smoked pot in 3 months and I can't sleep and I smoke, I will definitely be up all night, bouncing off the walls and also seeing strobing green triangles in sync with my thoughts whenever I close my eyes. On the other hand, if I use very consistent amounts on a very consistent basis, I do not notice the mental effects nearly as strongly, but my sleep onset time drops from ~60-90 mins with 2-3 wakeups, to 10-20mins with 0-1 wakeups.

For the end of the day I like a strain that is 1:1 THC:CBD. That's waaaay too strong for my wife; she likes capsules that are mostly CBD and are probably like 1:30.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

BS. Tired of Ed's and your BS too. People here with tinnitus and whatever ear/hearing-related condition they have automatically get depressed from it. So they don't have just severe tinnitus, they are depressed too.

I know people who are depressed including severely depressed. I had depression before tinnitus at times and probably longer than I thought. But, having tinnitus and ear pain on top of that is different. It's also worse. Maybe people who don't have severe tinnitus can't realize that. I don't know but it seems like it.

Well with that attitude, I'm just gonna ignore you from now on. I'll hope you'll do the same towards me and don't quote my posts again.

 

[PeteJ]

We'll with that attitude, I'm just gonna ignore you from now on. I'll hope you'll do the same towards me and don't quote my posts again.

My attitude? I was the one who was insulted. Wow. Btw, it's "Well,..."

 

[PeteJ]

It's actually a good idea. If you are compelled to belittle my tinnitus, please keep it to yourself.

Lots of people insist they are trying to help others and are really empathetic but there are some who ultimately show that it's not sincere. I think it's better if they keep their thoughts to themselves.

 

[Chinmoku]

It's actually a good idea. If you are compelled to belittle my tinnitus, please keep it to yourself.

Lots of people insist they are trying to help others and are really empathetic but there are some who ultimately show that it's not sincere. I think it's better if they keep their thoughts to themselves.

Depression varies from mild to severe, like tinnitus, this is what you are not seeing. Severe depression has horrible physical symptoms. Take four people:

Mild tinnitus and mild depression

Mild tinnitus and severe depression

Severe tinnitus and mild depression

Severe tinnitus and severe depression.

How would they rate tinnitus vs depression?
The comparison does not make sense in general.

Mikhaila Peterson has rheumatoid arthritis and depression. They asked her which was more painful. She said the depression.

 

[acute]

Tonight tinnitus is worse than ever. Unbearable.