Just wanted to add my recent thoughts about my tinnitus here!
I can say that December was a somewhat volatile month for tinnitus but if it went in like a lion, it is going out like a lamb. For one, I met with a new ENT who was much more responsive to me than my first ENT and seemed to listen better. He also disagreed with the opinion of my first ENT who wanted me to have surgery to repair inflammation of my eardrum (the left side where my tinnitus is.) I've met with him again and surgery is definitely out and in fact he said he thinks the inflammation will be behind me soon. That is good because I think I've had ear pain that has caused me to be more aware of tinnitus and had sent me in anxiety spirals.
I also am meeting with Paula Schwartz in the new year in early January to get a tinnitus consultation. She is a TRT audiologist here in Edina, MN, one that
@Dr. Nagler knows well. I'm really looking forward to that appointment. And since starting T I started back with therapy, which has helped ease my tinnitus-related anxiety and addressed a lot of other anxiety in my life.
Finally, some combination of having time off over the holidays and slowly re-introducing myself to social situations that I have avoided the past few months has left me feeling very positive. I went to a holiday party with my family that I was dreading because of a bad tinnitus experience I had in a similar environment in November and I hardly noticed it at all. I took my wife out for dinner at a noisy restaurant last night and while I noticed the tinnitus, I didn't let it bother me and even enjoyed a beer, something I hadn't done since T started.
I have no idea if my T will ever go away or if any of the current study drugs will have any affect, but I DO know that it can get better, and that anxiety/depression related to T is 1000x worse than the T itself. At work I can concentrate much easier by listening softly to some music (KEXP based in Seattle has been really enjoyable to listen to while doing work at my desk.) I feel fortunate that my T is not as bad as many of yours is (I cannot imagine how bad it would be if mine felt like a screaming tea kettle or dog whistle) and know that habituation does not come easy, but I'm here to say that I think it is possible. This morning, for the first time since T started, I had a natural thought that just popped into my head that said "I love life." That is the greatest gift of all, and I hope in 2015 that many more of you can have the same thoughts.
If anything, T is a good lesson in realizing that life is a journey full of setbacks and struggles, and a constant never-ending journey at that, but is also full of moments of grace and joy.
Happy New Year and here's to a great 2015 ahead!