Tinnitus Is a First World Problem

[epin3m]

And just like that.

Long time since the last time I logged into the forum, but a member sent me a private message to receive some support. Let me share my response with you all:

I hope it might help somebody out there.

-------
First of all, I am sorry to hear that you are going through this difficult times... I feel you... I really struggled with tinnitus and fell into depression. Actually, realizing I have T was the worst 4 months of my life.

On the other hand, T has been one of the best things that have happened to me.... hard to think that three years ago, but as a matter of fact T has taught me to enjoy life and helped me realize that we "really" only live once. And I emphasize "really" because even though we all know that we are going to die, we refuse to believe it and think that we still have plenty of time to enjoy life.

The ringing in my right ear has taught me that I am vulnerable and that unfortunately there is an end to this beautiful lives that we, all the people in this forum, who belong to developed countries, have.

There are people in Africa, or in the same city where you leave, having real problems and do not go to a forum to cry about that everyday.

"I am starving ;,,,,,( #anotherdaywithoutfood" are not very usual posts in message boards. Why? Because only people in the developed world have broad access and knowledge to log into one of these websites and mourn.

What I am trying to say, and I hope I am not getting too much off topic, is that T in this forum is a F%$$%NG FIRST WORLD PROBLEM.

You are not dying......

You do not have cancer or HIV....

All your family has not just been murdered....

You just have a simple ringing in your ears that does not need to ruin your beautiful life.

How can you get your life back?

Simple, just continue with your life as you did before T.

I do not cope with T as I just do not cope with my pants.

T is just a simple noise that does not threaten neither you or your quality of life. IT IS JUST A NOISE.

T will be important if your life if you let him be important.

Go to CBT sessions or read about TRT, there is all the knowledge you need to over come this situation.

You have just one live, are you going to let T destroy it?

I chose not to. And how did I do it? realizing that T is just a noise that cannot hurt me and that it does not have any importance. Period.

And again continue with your life as you did before T.

Did you come to TT before you got Tinnitus? You did not, right?

So why are you still spending time on this website instead of: playing video games, enjoying a good meal, working, playing music, spending time with your kids, having sex with your partner, watching a movie, reading a book, travelling..... there are 1,000,000 better things to do than logging into Tinnitus Talk

I hope this words help you. Sorry if I am very direct.
best,

PD: Just remember that you are fine and stop spending you day thinking that you are so unfortunate because an incurable condition. You are OK and are not going to day.

Just think that more people in the world will die because from some of the many stupid decisions that the Donald Trump will make -climate change, foreign policy, reducing Obamacare- than from Tinnitus.

 

[MikeL1972]

Hi epin3m,

You bring up a very good point.

Compared to other maladies and such, tinnitus takes a back seat to say cancer or another grave health condition that causes unspeakable pain.

Personally, I visit this site to offer my help to others. I joined this site nearly one year ago to the day after being struck with tinnitus. In that time, I have learned a great deal about this condition via my own research as well as reading fellow sufferer's posts on this site and how they cope.

Bottom line, we are here to learn and comfort one another!

 

[RaZaH]

Migraines dont threaten your life ...its just a blinding headache and visual distortions.

"Simple, just continue with your life as you did before T."

Can't, I used to make music all the time , that is now impossible.
But yes , people are starving so I am not allowed to think about that.

You just have a simple ringing in your ears that does not need to ruin your beautiful life.

I am happy for you that your tinnitus makes that possible for you.
Not that way for a lot of us.

There is a lot of different tinnitus , some you can ignore, some is mildly annoying...sometimes.
Some T is excruciating.

 

[SilverSpiral]

So why are you still spending time on this website instead of: playing video games, enjoying a good meal, working, playing music, spending time with your kids, having sex with your partner, watching a movie, reading a book, travelling..... there are 1,000,000 better things to do than logging into Tinnitus Talk

I can't play videogames with sound on. I can't play music. I never had a partner. Can't watch movies with sound on, hard to concentrate on books, I never travelled. You saying play music is so disgusting. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE NOW HOW CAN YOU SAY PLAY MUSIC IT SOUNDS SO BAD IT MAKES ME SICK.

I've been starved, I've been abused, I grew up where for the first 20 years of my life the life of me and my mother was constantly violently treated and death was constantly threatened. Our foods were poisoned by my father to make us sick. And you are the same as him, you are a psychopath come here to harass people. You obviously never had the hearing issues others do on this board, and you don't know what it's like. Do you know what it's like to have autism, it makes you more sensitive to sensory input, and tinnitus is sensory input you can not stop. You sicko I bet you go on quadrapeligic boards and tell them to stop complaining and go for a jog. Sicko!!

 

[VRZ78]

The thing is that T often comes with other symptoms which can be more debilitating, like hyperacusis for example, or hearing distortions or discomfort which makes it hard to do certain activities especially enjoying music or like going to the movies.

But for the typical T sufferer that just have one tone that is constant and is not bothered by sound yes your statement is true, and most people find that by themselves after several months... In fact when I just had the classic T at first it took me 2 weeks

 

[Foncky]

Most people with a mild one tone T already stop to come here after a few weeks

 

[Elinor]

I wish there was a dislike button in this forum.

 

[PaulBe]

I'm sure there are plenty of second and third world people, particularly in war zones, that would tell you tinnitus and hyperacusis were issues for them also.

I do not cope with T as I just do not cope with my pants.

What?? pants??

 

[LadyDi]

While I agree with many of the points made by the member of PMed you, @epin3m, I think its also important to remember: Suffering is not a contest. Many people who come here are in true pain and panic. It's not helpful to tell them: "Hey, you're not starving, you don't have AIDS, get over it."

 

[RaZaH]

I cant cope with my pants either . It's hell !

 

[PaulBe]

Just think that more people in the world will die because from some of the many stupid decisions that the Donald Trump will make -climate change, foreign policy, reducing Obamacare- than from Tinnitus.

Blaming Trump for decisions that haven't happened yet. Regardless of where you stand that is just plain ignorant.

 

[Coyotesheaven]

For many people, severe T is comparable to any other serious or terminal illness because it causes extreme pain on both psychological and physical levels, so keep that in mind. I will also say that living with any ear malfunction is anything less than a mild illness.

While T alone isn't my main problem, my cumulative ear problems are because I am on the autism spectrum and because my brain uses my hearing to coordinate all my other senses. All of my senses aside from smell and taste are now performing sub-optimally and are defective, because of hyperacusis and hearing loss (and sometimes from T when it's loud enough). Hell even my muscles are going into spasm as a result of loud noises, and sometimes I am so disoriented that I can barely get out of the house.

People who get vestibular inner ear issues are also finding themselves in the position to navigate a disorienting and alienating world. And if you also have H, consider most of the busy developed world inaccessible because it is either panic inducing or downright painful; it's being in a war zone 24/7. And loud T, man is it earth shattering and impossible to escape.

Because of all of these factors, T and ear problems are anything but easy, and they for sure can change the course of someone's life and even present disabilities on incomprehensible scales.

 

[Elinor]

Ugh.. This is basically like telling someone who's lost an arm that he/she can't be sad about it because he/she could have been a starving child in Africa who'd lost an arm. Seriously, we can't carry the burden of the world. We can only carry our own burdens. A problems is still a problem and it is experienced different by each individual.

As a healthcarer these were attitudes we were taught NOT to have, because people handle situations differently. I worked at an orthopedic deparment, some patients came in with a broken leg and it was a horryfing experience to them. Other patients had amputations and dealt better with that than the patients with the broken arm/leg. Had I told the patient with the broken leg "Man up, the senior man in the room next to you had his leg amputated and he's not crying about it" I would have been instantly fired.

I don't know... something about statements like this just pisses me off. It's as stupid as "eat your food, children in africa are starving". Eating all my food will not feed the children in Africa. Dealing negatively with T will not make third world problems worse.

 

[Steve]

I do not cope with T as I just do not cope with my pants.

You wouldn't cope with your pants if they fit badly and hurt when you walked.

I understand the approach, it is valid and it works for some. I would say though that I don't want to accept tinnitus because I want to see scientific research progressed towards a cure.

 

[RaZaH]

The problem here is different experiences.
I truly feel good for the OP that he can cope with his T with his mindset.
It seems very common for people to think that all T is the same , which is illogical and probably impossible.
Its not a simple system our ears , I would venture to say that no one has the same T.

While I do get what OP is saying and even agree that this should work for single tone mild T its simply does not apply to everyone's T. I am sure the Op means well while doing the mistake of assuming that his T is the same as everyones else. On the rare times that I have mild one tone T , I couldn't care less.

Thing is, mild T can also be very distressing so it makes sense to take that distress and assume that its the same as with someone that has bad T, except that with mild T , time helps ...bad T and time just grinds you down.

Big difference.

 

[GregCA]

The thing is that T often comes with other symptoms which can be more debilitating, like hyperacusis for example, or hearing distortions or discomfort which makes it hard to do certain activities especially enjoying music or like going to the movies.

I can guarantee you that T alone can be debilitating.
Not all T are the same.

 

[Dana]

The post of the OP was for me the second most upsetting post that I have read since I joined this forum. (The most upsetting post belonged to a member who lost his minds, and it is not impossible that his T made him lose his minds, and insulted another member who became suicidal because of catastrophic T)
The only up side of the original post is that reading the reactions from TT members made me love and appreciate them even more, and the stronger feeling that the TT forum has offered me a home, when severe T isolated me from healthy people and made me feel so alone.

 

[Julien87]

I wish there was a dislike button in this forum.

Ha ha ha, I was thinking exactly the same. It's the first time that I look at all the icons under the post trying to find a dislike icon.

 

[Markku]

I've always dug your positive attitude and personality @epin3m but this thread... it's just too dismissive of other people's very real struggles.

Over the years I've talked with people who ended up committing suicide because of tinnitus (let's not get into an argument over whether they were depressed, even if some of them were, wouldn't many get depressed with intrusive, relentless, 24/7 tinnitus), and I'm currently talking with people who are seriously thinking of going forward with it.

I'm not talking about your usual early stages of tinnitus, when many think they can't cope with it, but then soon enough start coping.

I'm talking about people who've lived with the noise for a considerable while, tried pretty much every option available, and have still failed to improve. Sometimes getting even worse.

It is painful for me to read a thread where it is suggested that this is just a "first world problem".

I honestly have no clue how you even dare make such assumptions about other people's tinnitus.

Now what do you think those people who actually are on the brink of ending their lives (or whose quality of life is otherwise seriously reduced in multiple aspects of life due to tinnitus and/or hyperacusis and/or other auditory issues) will think when they read your thread?

I seriously hope you will reconsider your views and open your mind to how debilitating tinnitus can in some cases be.

It's far from a first world problem. So far.

 

[InfiniteLoop]

@epin3m

I assure you that I don't live in the First World since I got T.

 

[Michael Leigh]

PD: Just remember that you are fine and stop spending you day thinking that you are so unfortunate because an incurable condition. You are OK and are not going to day.

Compared to other maladies and such, tinnitus takes a back seat to say cancer or another grave health condition that causes unspeakable pain.

Over the years I've talked with people who've committed suicide because of tinnitus (let's not get into an argument over whether they were depressed, even if some of them were, wouldn't many get depressed with intrusive, relentless, 24/7 tinnitus), and I'm currently talking with people who are seriously thinking of going forward with it.

@epin3m Tinnitus comes in many different forms and intensities and no two people experience it the same. When it is mild or moderate, many people are able to go about their lives without it causing too much of a problem. However, when it is severely intrusive and this level of intensity is sustained it can be seriously debilitating.

Therefore, I consider it to be comparable to any other serious medical condition, when it is severe, simply because of what it can do to a person's state of mind. Just Google this condition and you will see, the lengths that some people go to, to escape the torment they live with daily. Please take note @MikeL1972. Clearly, you have never sustained loud intrusive tinnitus for long periods of time and thought, your only way of finding relief is to no longer be on this earth; otherwise you wouldn't made such a statement, which I believe is one hundred percent wrong. Suffering is suffering no matter how or what shape it comes in for no-one can know what another person is feeling.

@Markku, If I may say so. You have made an accurate statement of what tinnitus is like when it is loud and intrusive and this level of intensity is sustained for long periods. A person can feel like they're going out of their mind and would welcome their demise if it meant peace and quiet. I know this for I have been there on more than one occasion. Thank you for setting the record straight, for those that haven't a clue how debilitating loud intrusive tinnitus can be.

Michael

 

[Sam Bridge]

Theres a general lack of awareness of tinnitus as it is in the public. So i am not surprised if someone who has mild t will just assume that that is the worst it can be. Unless they go reading Internet forums such as this one why would they think otherwise.

Having said that, i hate reading statements like, 10% of the UK has tinnitus but only one percent has it real bad. Its like that 1% are just swept aside when surely they should be the focal point of why there is a tinnitus charity in the first place.Because if everyone had a mild buzz in the war why bother having a charity. Hope this makes sense.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Theres a general lack of awareness of tinnitus as it is in the public. So i am not surprised if someone who has mild t will just assume that that is the worst it can be. Unless they go reading Internet forums such as this one why would they think otherwise. Having said that, i hate reading statements like, 10% of the UK has tinnitus but only one percent has it real bad. Its like that 1% are just swept aside when surely they should be the focal point of why there is a tinnitus charity in the first place.Because if everyone had a mild buzz in the war why bother having a charity. Hope this makes sense.

You make a valid point @Sam Bridge. There is a lack of awareness and some people forget very quickly when they are no longer in trouble. A friend of mine had tinnitus for around 3 months due to an ear infection. She was calling me up daily saying: "how could I live with this nightmare". I lent her one of my Oasis sound machines. Regularly I was on the phone listening to her wows and trying to calm and reassure her through this difficult time, and said that it would eventually go. After 3 months it subsided and went away.
A few weeks passed, and I happened to mention to her, another person I know is having a difficult time with tinnitus. Her reply was: "Tinnitus is nothing, you just ignore it".
Michael

 

[Vinnitus]

Every once in a while these comparative threads pop up where people try to feel better about having Tinnitus when comparing it to other conditions. What they forget however, is the subjectivity of the condition and the many types/perceived severity levels.

Apples and oranges, people. Conditions should and could not be compared, especially subjective conditions.

 

[bill 112]

I hate threads like these I really do.
My family are battling to keep me alive at this current moment in time and to see it painted as"no big deal"is just sickening it really is.

My Tinnitus is all over the place, I simply do not know what's going to happen from one minute to the next and that in itself has me scared beyond all recognition not to mention the beyond Debillitating severe H I have that makes talking painful, I can't mask it because any sound that can mask it causes pain and all this suffering from an audiogram! To think I was semi ok and coping prior to this as bad as things were then, I simply don't know what will become of me.

I'm having round window reinforcement surgery and then hopefully I will be able to survive the daily torment a little easier but who knows?

Admittedly I will defend the OP a little, I too use to think T was no big deal back when I had 3 glorious years of mild T, I remember thinking"this ain't no big deal"out of sheer ignorance as to how bad things could get! I never knew T could get this bad, I would have never imagined it and all out of sheer ignorance. The same goes for H, when I developed a mild case of it in January 2014 I got a lot better and never truly realised how bad this shit could get, again out of sheer ignorance and"personal"experience with the condition.

But believe me my eyes have been truly opened, I could have never imagined a HELL like this, not even when I became severe in March could I ever picture things being this bad but they are, gravely bad at that.
When people make out that T is no big deal it drives me nuts simply because if anybody research based sees this we all look like a happy a non suffering community and as such the emphasis for a cure simply won't exist.
We need to push for a cure, we need to push for research into T and H and not just pawn ourselves off by painting a pretty picture, we need the true horror to surface and then and then only will we be taken seriously.

 

[GregCA]

Please take note @MikeL1972. Clearly, you have never sustained loud intrusive tinnitus for long periods of time and thought, your only way of finding relief is to no longer be on this earth; otherwise you wouldn't made such a statement, which I believe is one hundred percent wrong.

I've come to the conclusion that if you haven't experienced it, you can't possibly imagine what it can do to you.

And by experiencing, I don't mean put some headphones that reproduce an equivalent noise: you need to be in the situation where you truly think you'll be dealing with it for the rest of your life with no way to escape.

A few weeks passed, and I happened to mention to her, another person I know is having a difficult time with tinnitus. Her reply was: "Tinnitus is nothing, you just ignore it".

Funny how something is no big deal when you don't have to deal with it, isn't it.

 

[valeri]

@epin3m

Go to hell you ignorant dickhead!

 

[fhs]

I don't agree with what the OP says at all. First world problems don't cause people to commit suicide.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26147195

According to that study people with tinnitus are twice as likely to attempt suicide. Those with irritating tinnitus fare even worse.

What if there was a jet engine in a person's head with severe hyperacusis and they were going insane? What kind of irrational person would live a life for the next 30-50 years suffering from something like that? Still a first world problem? A person that's starving doesn't feel hungry 24/7 and has the comfort knowing that their suffering can go away with food.

 

[Lex]

I fail to see how T, even in the mildest form, can be considered a first world problem. When has an illness or an impairment become a so-called first world problem?

I have friends who wear contacts and glasses. They're far from blind, but when they complain about how much of a hassle it can be when their eyes dry out, or how much it bothers them when it's a rainy day and their glasses get fogged up, I don't think of their problems as first world problems. And to be honest, who does? Yes, they are fortunate enough not to be blind, and yes, there are worse problems in the world, but I recognize their struggles as legitimate.

Same with allergies. For example, it's easier for people to avoid peanuts than it is for us people with T to avoid the subjective sounds in our head and the external sounds in our environment, but the medical field takes peanut allergy very seriously (as they should, I just wish they do the same for T and other ear disorders). Also, some schools have banned peanut butter, and some airlines won't serve peanut snacks when someone with peanut allergy is on board. But I've been dismissed by at least four ENTs with "Just learn to live with it." When I go out in the noisy world, I don't usually get concessions. I'm lucky if restaurants actually turn down the volume of their piped-in music after I ask them to, or if parents don't feel offended when I politely ask them to make their children stop yelling in enclosed spaces.

So no, T is not a first world problem. To call it such is patronizing and dismissive.

The harsh truth is that there are many different kinds of horrible problems in this world. It's not a contest.

 

[Foncky]

@epin3m

Go to hell you ignorant dickhead!

Ah ah, I love the way you're not nice sometimes