Tired of Suffering

[glynis]

@bob bauer ,
Sending you lots of love and hugs at this devastating time for you and your family.
It's very raw for me as my mum past away a few weeks ago and know one can prepare you for it.
Please know that we are all here for you around the clock.
Make sure you take extra care of yourself and have family around you too....
Love glynis xxx

 

[billie48]

Sending you my deep condolences to you and family for the sad passing of your mother. You have lost a mother and your daughter has lost a grandmother. So try to hang in there and give support to others in your family who are saddened by her passing. May your mother rest in peace.

 

[Vicki14]

My mom passed away last night, i'm devastated. Don't know how i'm going to make it. God give me strength.

I'm so very sorry to hear this and understand your suffering. I hope you find the strength to get through your pain xx

 

[brandonlucky]

@JohnnyMx Hey Johnny do you still have issues with hyperacusis coming and going? I'm 3 months in and my hyperacusis will be on and off several days at a time.

 

[DebInAustralia]

Hi Bob,

Just wanted to say I am sorry that you are suffering. I have lost all of my immediate family, and was very close to my mother too. I couldnt imagine a life without her. I actually thought to myself once that when she goes, I wanted to too because the thought of a life without her in it was unbearable. But then, when the time came, I couldnt go ahead with it because I knew this would not be my mother's wishes. It took her 6 years to breathe life into another child, and I couldnt waste that opportunity to live my life as she would have wanted.

When life is tough, I focus on how she would have coped with it, what advice she would have given me to deal with it. I bet your mother was an amazing woman, with qualities that we would love to all hear about when you are ready to talk about it?

You know people care about you here. Youve been a positive and proactive presence here. We care about you and want to see you find peace.

A gentle hug to you Bob.

 

[bob bauer]

Thanks i'm trying to hang in there, I saw a therapist today and I don't think my meds are working, I take remeron, lorazepam and temazapam.

 

[DebInAustralia]

You can get through this. You are much more resilient than you give yourself credit for.

A therapist is a good idea. Did you find it helpful?

Let yourself feel the grief. Im not a big believer in suppressing emotions. But if you need the meds to sleep and manage your anxiety right now, then do that with the help of a dr who understands your situation.

I listen to prayers and meditations. I find that helps me a lot with anxiety, fear and trauma.

 

[Bobbie7]

Hi @bob bauer -

My heartfelt thoughts are with you today and I do hope you find some medications which will help you through this most difficult time. Please stay strong and take care of yourself. Again, my sincere sympathy.

 

[bob bauer]

Thank you guys

 

[Sonic17]

@bob bauer My sincerest condolences to you and your family, Bob. We are all here for you, many of us have suffered, you are not alone. You have a lot of friends in this forum, everyone wants to see you get better. We all believe you will see brightness again in your days, it will just take time.

 

[JohnnyMx]

hyperacusis coming and going? I'm 3 months in and my hyperacusis will be on and off several days at a time.

Hi Brandon,

Yes sometimes I do, but those are mild episodes. When I had big problems with my T, my Hyperacusis was bad...mostly because I was thinking most of the everyday sounds could damage my ears.

Once I habituated... I do not overprotect, or over react to everyday sounds, that makes hyperacusis to go down ALOT.

I have 2 small childrens, they scream NICELY, sometimes that gives me some kind of ear irritation, and mild hyperacusis, but only lasts for about a day.

For most cases, Hyperacusis can be very manageable, only by not focusing too much in everyday sounds... DO NOT THINK ABOUT EVERYDAY SOUNDS AS DANGEROUS...because when you think, for example, that the sound of a car, or the sound of your fridge could potentialy damage your ears... it will defenitively impact in your hyperacusis.

The best for you,

 

[Bobbie7]

@bob bauer - My thoughts are with you. How are you doing today?

 

[Sonic17]

If I go to the doctor they will probably put me in a mental hospital.

Bob, what is wrong with going to a hospital? They can help you, keep a close eye on you for your safety. Perhaps you will meet others that are feeling the same way as you are right now. Often in life we need to reach out and be able to accept help from others. These meds may not be the right ones for you, maybe you need a change in dosage or different meds., professionals trained in how to help you. I do no know which country you live in, but I am sure there is help available for you and you can turn things around for yourself and enjoy your life. Your parents want nothing more then for you to be grateful for the life they gave you…..enjoying your life pays them the the greatest tribute. Take care and God Bless.

 

[fishbone]

My mom passed away last night, i'm devastated. Don't know how i'm going to make it. God give me strength.

I am truly sorry for your loss

I lost mine almost 4 years ago. Remain strong buddy, you will make it. We are here to support you all the time, please stay strong for your wife and children...

 

[Bobbie7]

Hi @bob bauer -

How are you doing? I believe you are stronger than you think and will be able to successfully cope with your mom's passing and I am sending my very best wishes your way. Please reach out to the forum if you need emotional support at this time.

Sincerely,
Barbara

 

[fedup]

@bob bauer So sorry about your mom Bob. Tough times ahead but you CAN do this.
Good luck

 

[Elfin]

Our mental health issues are directly linked to how severe the T is. Our nervous system is all connected and when it's not working properly, the symptoms of tinnitus will increase tenfold. When I am suffering from horrible anxiety my T is like 10 times louder than it is when I've had calmer days. So even when the loudness perceived is very real to you, calming and balancing your brain/nervous system will very likely be extremely helpful to your T. The volume can decrease a lot, if you do receive a treatment which makes you feel better. And when you feel better, its also easier to cope with what is left of the T.

Hi, I was wondering whether you hear additional sounds when really stressed? I am incredible anxious right now and can hear an additional humming sound. I am so scared and can think of nothing else!

How do you calm/shift focus?

 

[bob bauer]

Moms funeral was Wednesday. I feel really bad and feel like there is no hope for me. Tinnitus is worse from losing mom and I miss her terribly. I don't want to be here anymore.

 

[Bobbie7]

@bob bauer -

Please read the post I left at your other thread. I understand how you feel now but this feeling will pass, you must be patient and take each day as it comes and little by little your grief will lessen as you come to realize that your mother would not want to see you suffer endlessly. She would want you to go forth and thrive and to be content with your life in the future. You have the knowledge that you were truly blessed in having a wonderfully devoted mother who loved and cherished you and there are so many people who do not have this good fortune.

If it is possible, in any way, that your mother is looking down now upon you... she would want you to be brave and continue on in the best way possible. The grieving process takes a long while but you have to push away those negative thoughts since this is not what your mother would have wanted. Your grief will gradually subside in time and will be replaced by the wonderful and precious memories you both shared together.

Be well.

Barbara

 

[bob bauer]

Thanks Barbara was my moms name. I really miss her, we were best friends. I really don't know how I will make it, I have to grieve for my mom and dad and fight the tinnitus despair. Easier to just give up.

 

[Bobbie7]

Bob, this is only a feeling and a natural one considering you are worn out emotionally after everything you have just experienced. This is one of the most difficult times in our lives... believe me... do I understand exactly how you are feeling right now... but this feeling you have... will pass ! It will !

Do you want to know how I coped? Following my wonderful mom's departure, I went through all the motions almost in a daze and did whatever I had to and then at the end of the evening... I really motivated myself to clear my mind and kind of "blank myself" in a way so that I would prevent negative and highly emotionally depressive thoughts from entering my mind. We can so easily become overwhelmed and we require even a temporary rest otherwise we can not cope with anything which we need to. I completely understand your feelings at this point but little by little.. and it will happen... your grief will subside very slowly and be replaced by loving memories. I suggest you consciously make an effort to sweep all negative thoughts from your mind and give yourself a rest... you need that now.

You will continue and you will be fine as your beloved mother would want you to be. Imagine what she would want for you: to not suffer her departure endlessly and for her to know that you are alright... this is what she would want.

Try to divert your attention at least for a little while... do something which will comfort you. This is what I did because I needed to do that. If we constantly ruminate over what we can not change, this action only serves to reinforce our depression and negative thought process. Your mother would want you to have courage and be strong. You should take good care of yourself now Bob.

Sincerely,
Barbara

 

[bob bauer]

Thank you,it's hard to erase the negative thoughts. My parents were like best friends to me, and I have to miss them every day and contend with tinnitus and depression, it's too much to bear. I have OCD TOO, constant sad thoughts all the time. I think it's time for me to go.

 

[Bobbie7]

No @bob bauer -

You must not let these negative thoughts take too strong a hold on you, especially at this time when you are feeling most vulnerable. A person is not always capable of clear and rational thought at times which are most critical in their lives. You will best honor both your parents by trying to remain as strong as you possibly can and perhaps it would be wise for you to see your therapist and talk all your feelings through. You are young yet... there will be positive things ahead for you in your future but you have to stop obsessing on negative thoughts and if you need professional help to do this, I suggest you contact your therapist as soon as possible.

Sending my good wishes as always.
Barbara

 

[fishbone]

Thank you,it's hard to erase the negative thoughts. My parents were like best friends to me, and I have to miss them every day and contend with tinnitus and depression, it's too much to bear. I have OCD TOO, constant sad thoughts all the time. I think it's time for me to go.

I highly suggest that you seek counseling asap. I really feel your pain buddy, if i could i'd give you a hug and let you sob on my shoulders

You are in a very turbulent time and My heart and prayers do go out to you. I know how you feel, I feel this each day myself. Please seek some therapy and talk things out. It is hard and tough, I will not deny it at all. try to find some comfort in your wife and daughter. You were the best son, your mom could have ever had, you did very well and be proud of yourself.

You need to surround yourself with lots of love and support, please do this and do seek help. You are very fragile right now and a professional needs to help you

Be well and check in and let us know how you feel...

 

[NimQ]

Hi, I was wondering whether you hear additional sounds when really stressed? I am incredible anxious right now and can hear an additional humming sound. I am so scared and can think of nothing else!

How do you calm/shift focus?

Hey @Elfin - sorry it took some time to answer. I'm very sorry you're having such hard time. Are you feeling any better now?

If I am calm, I basically have two main tones - one in each ear. The other tones mostly fade away into the background nowadays. However, when I am stressed and anxious, those other tones come forward and start an orchestra. Then I can have multiple noises in both ears, even pulsating ones etc. which are not usually included. This is especially true if I am having a full-on anxiety attack or am on the verge of breakdown.

Anyway, based on this... I do believe that T can change volume, tone and even bring out additional sounds, triggered by (strong) anxiety and stress. Since anxiety makes our nervous system go haywire, it's no wonder it can alter our brain-based T noises as well.

How do I calm down is a trickier question... For anyone with anxiety problems, I do suggest therapy. It's a vicious thing to live with and a battle that is hard to win without support and help. When it comes to solely tinnitus, the main thing is: distract yourself, don't fall into listening to T and analyzing it. It does not help to measure it - you cannot control it by doing so - instead, T will control you that way. For me soothing masking noises (find one that works for you) are very important and I always still put them on from my phone if I find myself focusing too much on T. And if you are already in the middle of anxiety attack... Always stop to ask yourself what would be the smallest thing to make you feel better. And do that. Then ask the same question again and do that. Keep finding and doing things you enjoy, even if your anxiety-fueled thoughts would like to fixate on T.

Not sure if this helped at all, hope it made some sense at least.

 

[NimQ]

Thank you,it's hard to erase the negative thoughts. My parents were like best friends to me, and I have to miss them every day and contend with tinnitus and depression, it's too much to bear. I have OCD TOO, constant sad thoughts all the time. I think it's time for me to go.

It's not time for you to go. You still have fight in you. How do I know? You are still writing to us, you are reaching out. Therefore, you need help and support. What you are saying is that this current situation is unbearable and you can't take it. I believe it does indeed look hopeless and that is the most horrible feeling on earth. I am so sorry you are feeling that way.

The thing is, you are not alone in this. As you can see, people do care a lot. Does that give you any comfort? I hope it does and I urge you to get professional help. What's the harm in doing so? You are already at loss, so this is where things can take another turn - a positive one, at that. It may hurt bad now, but therapists are specialized in these types of situations and have helped people in very, very dark places. I am one of those and it is worth it. Please do not give up, things can get better.

 

[bob bauer]

Tinnitus is so bad along with the grief over losing both parents and the meds i'm on. I feel like i'm losing it.

 

[glynis]

Bob,
Grieving for parents is natural and takes time as your thoughts and memories settle down from the day they died to remembering their cherished memories .
Im going through it also and understand .
Also when your not well its the void of having a big hole in front of you and no safty net of your parents arms .
Reach out to family members and close friends to support you and maybe bereavement counselling .
It can only get better now
As time is a great healer and for your tinnitus too!

I had no dad last Christmas and no mum this Christmas and miss them so much but I know they are together now watching over my sisters and brother and me.

Stay strong

Love glynis

 

[bob bauer]

Thank you everybody. One day at a time.

 

[bob bauer]

My tinnitus is SUPER LOUD-UNBEARABLE. What do I do? The only thing I changed is my anti-depressant from pill form to a liquid so I can slowly titrate off? I'm about ready to end it.