Tired of Suffering

[Bill Bauer]

The only thing I changed is my anti-depressant from pill form to a liquid so I can slowly titrate off?

If it continues being loud tomorrow, you can try to switch back to pills, or switch to a liquid made by another manufacturer...

 

[Graywolf]

Hang in there Bob. I know that it's easier said than done. I have dealt with different kinds of ringing, some that lasted months and went away, and I still have spikes that can drive me crazy. I've also stared into the Abyss, but you just have to hold onto the things and people you're most passionate about, and use that for strength. Keep coming back to the forum and use it to vent your frustrations, there are people here for you, so please don't end anything. The emotional stress of losing a loved one will definitely make T worse, but there are people here you can lean on to help you through it.

 

[MBH]

Work on fine motor skills puzzles, painting, dot to dot, it would help taking your mind off T and with concentration. You have to work on small feats. You have to push yourself forward. In time treat yourself to something different or new. I'm very sorry for your loss and i would agree 2017 has been a bad year. It takes time to heal yourself but I know you can. It's day by day and before you know it your life moves on.

 

[bob bauer]

My tinnitus is very loud and now I have a typewriter noise too. Trying to do a liquid taper of remeron. Why bother with it? I've suffered enough.

 

[MBH]

I also have different sounds off and on. I don't know if it meds, t, or anxiety is the cause of different sounds. I tried two meds that didn't work for me I've had T for 4 months now and every day is different with T. I keep to a routine and try not to put myself in a down moment. Go for a car ride, go for a walk, the whole thing is such a shock to your system. I read this site it keeps me together.

 

[billie48]

My tinnitus is very loud and now I have a typewriter noise too. Trying to do a liquid taper of remeron. Why bother with it? I've suffered enough.

Tinnitus is annoying but not an end game. Clicking or morse code T is very common. Just search this forum with 'morse code' and you will see long list of people with this condition. People who have written success stories have this condition and getting better. There are people with vertigo, with pulsatile tinnitus, with multi-tone, with severe hyperacusis to go along with T. We have all dealt with the loss of our loved ones. My parents and brothers and sisters, even my 5-year old son died on me. The immense grief is tough but it is not an end game. They can't rest in peace if their death will bring about a suicide of their loved one, even their son. Bob, you need to see a counselor to help you. God bless you to have hope and faith to move on in life, one day at a time and one step at a time. We have all been through T and loss of dearly loved ones, but they don't have to kill us. You are never alone here. Keep posting for support. We are all here for you. Take good care of yourself. God bless.

 

[bob bauer]

My meds are killing me too, I take lorazepam, temazepam and remeron, trying to do liquid taper of remeron.

 

[Lynsey]

Don't end it Bob. I was in your position and found (dont frown!) a combination of yoga, regular neck & head massage and sorting out my pillows has really helped me. It took about 9 months but quite suddenly things altered. Weve a talk at our local hospital next week, if theres anything to report thats 'new', I will be back.
Stay strong x

 

[Kate Winstol]

You should never ever take your own life if you have people who cares.
It can sound hard on some level but it really isn't. It's just a fact.

Tapering can be hard no matter what it is, maybe you should stay on the meds when you have so much already. Take care.

 

[Bill Bauer]

You should never ever take your own life if you have people who cares.

If they REALLY care, they would not want you to not commit suicide and to continue suffering for years to come, just because you are afraid to upset them.

 

[billie48]

If they REALLY care, they would not want you to not commit suicide and to continue suffering for years to come, just because you are afraid to upset them.

I respectfully disagree with your post above. Are you suggesting to a member to go ahead to kill himself on a support forum? It is not that members here want Bob to suffer forever. We just feel that having T and dealing with the loss of loved ones are tough but this should not kill a person. Granted that Bob is suffering from depression for losing his parents. But millions of people have to deal with losing loved ones, some very suddenly like the case of my 5-year old son. It is likely that people may also have to deal with their own health challenge while they face tragic loss of loved ones. This is something humanity will have to deal with and find ways to cope. Suicide is not the way to deal with this. It is the role of a support board to point this out to the suffering members who may not not be able to see the light at the end of the dark tunnel, and not to weaken their already fragile mental state further to cause them to harm themselves. But if I misinterpret your intention of your above statement, I apologize. Just want to make sure members of this forum are not encouraging suffering new visitors of a support forum to do the unthinkable as a way to solve the problem of living with T.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Are you suggesting to a member to go ahead to kill himself on a support forum?

I am suggesting that it is his choice to make, and that he should not be taking anyone's feelings into account. (Just like he shouldn't be taking into account the feelings of the people who want him dead even when he is not suffering).

Granted that Bob is suffering from depression for losing his parents. But millions of people have to deal with losing loved ones, some very suddenly like the case of my 5-year old son.

I am sorry about what happened to your son.
I agree that one should not do anything irreversible when one's judgement is clouded with emotions. It makes sense to wait for say, a year. There is a good chance that his grief will not be as bad after a year, and it is possible that T will not bother him as much in a year (either because it fades, or because he gets habituated).

But millions of people have to deal with losing loved ones, some very suddenly like the case of my 5-year old son. It is likely that people may also have to deal with their own health challenge while they face tragic loss of loved ones. This is something humanity will have to deal with and find ways to cope.

They don't HAVE to deal with it, and there are many ways to cope

Suicide is not the way to deal with this.

The above is not an argument. Please explain why you think the statement above is true, even for people who feel that it is false, and want to act accordingly.

 

[billie48]

I am not going to spend too much time on debating you or any members here on TT. I don't feel it is contributing to helping a struggling member who comes to TT for help and support and as you say is clouded in his/her judgement while contemplating suicide openingly, that we as contributing members in a support forum will want to shoot down any other members' posts which are intended to help the suicidal member to reconsider the decision. Each contributing member will try their best to persuade the struggling member to reconsider the suicidal intention by helping them to see it from different angles, such as in this case reminding him/her that the suicide will have devastating consequence to the loved ones who care about him/her a lot. Why not let the struggling member make his/her conclusion as to the validity of the advice to help? We have heard often from struggling and suicidal members commented that they wouldn't want to do the unthinkable because of caring about their loved ones and the pain it would cause to them. So why is it necessary to shoot down a member's good intention to try to alert Bob about this?

Again, I don't want to spend too much time to debate. You are entitled to your opinion. I sure hope Bob can pull himself out of his dark tunnel with whatever reason(s) he can find and hopefully he will find the strength to move on. Of course after all that we can do to advise him, it is his life and we do respect that he is free to do what is best for him. But we try nevertheless. My humble 2 cents.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Why not let the struggling member make his/her conclusion as to the validity of the advice to help?

Ok, now that I think of it, you are right.

 

[fishbone]

What gets me is this, it's obvious that this poor guy is having a rough time and he needs support. He may be at a low point in his life and there are some members that are further poisoning his mind, with the give up advice/attitude.

This is a support forum, let's try to remember this. People that are hurting are vulnerable and don't need such advice(s) polluting their minds....

 

[billie48]

Ok, now that I think of it, you are right.

Bill, you are one of our most caring and contributing members here on TT and you have been tirelessly and unsedlfishly donating tremendous amount of time in helping others. I have a lot of respect for what you have done on TT. I am sure most of us are on the same wave-length on helping others. I respect that and salute you for your precious contribution here on TT.

Back to the subject of helping Bob I am one who has been converted to positivity and the idea of 'finding joy amid the pain' and 'living life abundantly to bury the pain of T (if any)'. So @Bill Bauer, please look and examine the other aspects of life and give values to them. One of the best approach to suicide interventions is to distract the suicidal intention with distractions and to buy time for the brain to recover from the lowest point.

Have you had things you always want to go to see? Like travelling and visiting places you always hope to visit, or to do things you always want to do that you haven't not been able to do? Some interesting goals in life you wish to pursue? This is like the 'Rose in Titanic' mentality in her later life, to go out to experience the world. Why not do these things and enjoy them before hurting yourself? At least you have an able body to pursue things you like, unlike those who are handicapped or immobile to do anything.

Experience the world and the joy of living regardless of T. Tell yourself 'Ya it is loud and annoying and I am sad as hell but I am going to ignore it for at least a year or two and enjoy the hack out of my life before I will come back to reconsider my life and see what happen. I may still decide to die but at least I have tried to live life as it should be lived and enjoyed'. I have used Aaron's example before. I have travelled quite extensively but nothing like Aaron. Here is his way of fighting back the tyranny of T and he was suicidal initially and he lost his fiancee in the process of suffering with T. Poor guy! But he has struck back at T with positivity and winning. Do whatever we can to enjoy despite T. Go for it Bob. Enjoy and explore life however ways you prefer. Life is precious and worth living if we allow it. Cheers to life!!!

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...are-with-you-some-pictures-i-took-after.3268/

 

[bob bauer]

Trying to taper off remeron and struggling badly with side effects and ear ringing horribly. Can anyone relate?

 

[bob bauer]

Did anyones tinnitus get worse while tapering a drug?

 

[bob bauer]

I'm tapering remeron and my ears are screaming. I also take lorazepam and temazepam. I can't take this agony anymore, I also have typewriter noise in my ear.

 

[Samantha R]

@bob bauer
First question - how much of each drug are you on and how long for?
Do you believe it is the Remeron tapering affecting your tinnitus?

I've read that magnesium can help 'typewriter tinnitus'.
If I were you, I'd try that.
I didn't have it, but had a random popping noise in my ear so I tried mag in case it was a muscle
Spasm I was hearing / feeling. Not sure if it was coincidence or not but it stopped.

 

[dan]

I'm tapering remeron and my ears are screaming. I also take lorazepam and temazepam. I can't take this agony anymore, I also have typewriter noise in my ear.

Its possible not to take any drugs even with the most severe tinnitus. Living with super severe tinnitus is extremely difficult, I happen to be one of those people. My advice is not to stress about ANYTHING anymore, since stress makes tinnitus louder. Death in the family is a very high stressor- people have actually gotten tinnitus from it. So try to just put it out of your mind, you can't worry about things that are out of your control.

Did anyones tinnitus get worse while tapering a drug?

Yes that is a normal side-effect which should calm down after your brain chemistry adjusts.

 

[Nanny chocolate]

Im so sorry for your suffering Bob. You sound so depressed and, as I know, everything becomes so pointless. Not our T though, which adds to our futility.
You are cared about, never forget that x

 

[bob bauer]

Thanks, I take 2mgs lorazepam, 15mgs temazepam and 10.15mgs of remeron, tapering with help from compounding pharmacy.

 

[MBH]

T without a doubt is a life changer and going on meds is nuts, but for some of us we have no choice to go on. I think it is tricky, but if they help, that's ok. I'm 6 months with T, I still have spikes, I'm dealing with anxiety for which I take meds. So did you do something for you. It can help with stress and wellness.

 

[bob bauer]

MBH what meds do you take?