To Whomever Needs Some Words of Hope — Tinnitus Is Only a Noise

[Zugzug]

I totally agree with you - I definitely think society fetishizes productivity and your self-worth is tied to your achievements. I think it's not just an American thing and is typical of late-stage capitalism lol.

I very recently had a situation in my own life where I had to grapple with this problem. I was about to be offered an entry-level job in a reputed firm where I live and they were pretty much ready to offer me the role on the basis of an interview I did pre-pandemic. My hyperacusis has improved but overall my ears are still pretty fragile and susceptible to flare-ups - artificial audio is still triggering and recovery is just generally slow lol. Anyway, I had a chat with this firm just to see what it would entail and I ended up just coming clean about this 'medical condition' that I have etc because I wanted to be as transparent as possible. They actually took it really well and were curious and accommodating, asking questions about how it affects me etc. I had been so prepared for it to go down a lead balloon so I was really heartened by their reaction.

Anyway, they thanked me for being upfront about it and said they would have to discuss - they contacted me later on in the day to say they would have loved to hire me but they were concerned about my condition worsening and felt that my health should come first. It would have been pretty full-on in busy office, working full-time. I actually totally agreed with them. They were super apologetic about it too. To be honest, it was a bummer because if it weren't for my health, I would have got the job. There's even a nagging voice at the back of my head that is berating me for it. But I also felt weirdly proud of myself for owning it and being able to admit my limitations and doing what's best for my health. It would have been far worse for me to not disclose, take this job on, and then miserably crash and burn.

It's so important for people know their limitations - I am aware that, in contrast, it can be good for people to go outside their comfort zones at times. But that doesn't really apply to chronic health problems like these where pushing a comfort zone can be a deadly mistake.

I don't know much about the ins and outs of the American welfare system but I can say that this sounds depressingly similar to disability welfare in the UK, where people have to jump through endless hoops and face scorn. I mean, we have free healthcare etc which is great but the disability benefits system is truly awful. This is why I'm a believer in stuff like universal basic income, although that's a conversation for another day.

I'm sorry to hear that. I remember you talking about an interview that you were excited for. That's a major bummer. I understand why you disclosed it though -- it's a really big deal. By law, you don't have to disclose it, but it's tough for both parties. Hopefully you can keep recovering and find something that works.

 

[Matchbox]

Habituation "can" be success, don't get me wrong, but the goal post needs to stop moving.

Preaching that it's simply a matter of attitude means little when the harsh reality of a permanent spike hits and your coping mechanisms fail.

I think people getting used to "mild" forms, where it's not in their face 24/7, where the noise actually can become a comfort (depending on volume, tone, pattern, static, etc) is completely possible, and good for them because they CAN reclaim their lives.

It's just not a good mentality to be thinking "THAT" is the cure... and leave it at that, going on with life, and failing to advocate for the suffering that it truly can bring. One day those investments may pay off, if only people advocated more then PERHAPS we'd have decent treatment now instead of in a decade.

Real breakthrough science is pretty rare though even in the best of circumstances of interest/funding.

 

[Matchbox]

I totally agree with you - I definitely think society fetishizes productivity and your self-worth is tied to your achievements. I think it's not just an American thing and is typical of late-stage capitalism lol.

I very recently had a situation in my own life where I had to grapple with this problem. I was about to be offered an entry-level job in a reputed firm where I live and they were pretty much ready to offer me the role on the basis of an interview I did pre-pandemic. My hyperacusis has improved but overall my ears are still pretty fragile and susceptible to flare-ups - artificial audio is still triggering and recovery is just generally slow lol. Anyway, I had a chat with this firm just to see what it would entail and I ended up just coming clean about this 'medical condition' that I have etc because I wanted to be as transparent as possible. They actually took it really well and were curious and accommodating, asking questions about how it affects me etc. I had been so prepared for it to go down a lead balloon so I was really heartened by their reaction.

Anyway, they thanked me for being upfront about it and said they would have to discuss - they contacted me later on in the day to say they would have loved to hire me but they were concerned about my condition worsening and felt that my health should come first. It would have been pretty full-on in busy office, working full-time. I actually totally agreed with them. They were super apologetic about it too. To be honest, it was a bummer because if it weren't for my health, I would have got the job. There's even a nagging voice at the back of my head that is berating me for it. But I also felt weirdly proud of myself for owning it and being able to admit my limitations and doing what's best for my health. It would have been far worse for me to not disclose, take this job on, and then miserably crash and burn.

It's so important for people know their limitations - I am aware that, in contrast, it can be good for people to go outside their comfort zones at times. But that doesn't really apply to chronic health problems like these where pushing a comfort zone can be a deadly mistake.

I don't know much about the ins and outs of the American welfare system but I can say that this sounds depressingly similar to disability welfare in the UK, where people have to jump through endless hoops and face scorn. I mean, we have free healthcare etc which is great but the disability benefits system is truly awful. This is why I'm a believer in stuff like universal basic income, although that's a conversation for another day.

This ###king sucks. I'm sorry.

It's a classic you're too sick to work full-time but not sick enough to get help/benefits sandwich trap.

 

[serendipity1996]

It's a classic you're too sick to work full-time but not sick enough to get help/benefits sandwich trap.

Ah, I should have clarified this in my post but I do not have personal experience of the benefits system and am very fortunate to be living with my family who support me. From what I have read though, the disability system is failing people horribly. This needs to change.

It's a real shame because I would absolutely love to be doing something productive and contributing to society - I am sure I can speak for most people here in saying that. But options feel very limited when your health won't necessarily allow you to fit into the 40-hour workweek mold. I'm trying to look for part-time work and see where that gets me.

 

[Tara Lyons]

How are you doing?

Eh hanging in the best I can... anxiety is getting the best of me I think. Super nervous to travel with all of this. Not quite sure how I'm going to be able to enjoy myself. How are you?

 

[DaveFromChicago]

As far as I am concerned, Chad Lawton's mention of that Buddhist monk's self-immolation as a prime example of the power of habituation is as fatuously objectionable as Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene's comments equating mask mandates to the Holocaust.

Also, he surely did not have to display his execrable taste in downloading arguably the most grisly archival footage ever recorded to supposedly underline his point.

"Look what self-control this monk exhibited by remaining stationary when engulfing himself in flames; surely this should provide all of the impetus you need to develop total mental detachment from tinnitus. If he could do this, then surely you can strengthen yourself in learning to ignore your tinnitus as much as he ignored the flames."

Actually, this characterization of ultimate habituation is woefully misplaced; people with medical backrounds have told me that the nervous system would be so overwhelmingly fried and shocked (as with execution by electrocution) that only immediate, absolute numbness would result (not to mention an inability to breathe, which would also result in the total loss of consciousness).

In fact, I recall (I kid you not) that I actually once mentioned this act of self-immolation to my psychotherapist; I said, "Imagine the self-discipline this would have required." He replied, "Or the degree of unfathomable, certifiable insanity; the kind of healthy self-discipline and mental corralling of discomfort we recommend has virtually nothing to do with this."

The fact that the proponents of habituation have gone to such ludicrous, offensive lengths to prove their case only indicates how problematic it's application can be.

 

[cruise]

Eh hanging in the best I can... anxiety is getting the best of me I think. Super nervous to travel with all of this. Not quite sure how I'm going to be able to enjoy myself. How are you?

The first time I traveled with tinnitus I also was very anxious. But in the end, all went well and the traveling may even have been a turning point of seeing that I can enjoy things without being bothered by the tinnitus.

 

[KWC]

Eh hanging in the best I can... anxiety is getting the best of me I think. Super nervous to travel with all of this. Not quite sure how I'm going to be able to enjoy myself. How are you?

Same here. I'm trying to manage as well as I can day by day. I have a hearing aid/masker that helps but I try not to wear it all the time and keep it low volume.

Any changes with yours? Do you feel like you have habituated at all? I think @cruise said it well, the travel may help.

 

[Tara Lyons]

Do you feel like you have habituated at all?

No, I hate it. I hate having ringing in my ears. June 1 it has been 16 months and I'm not mildly habituated, I've just been trying to ignore it the best I can. I hope the travel helps, I feel like such an unstable wreck.

 

[kingsfan]

I think people getting used to "mild" forms, where it's not in their face 24/7, where the noise actually can become a comfort (depending on volume, tone, pattern, static, etc) is completely possible, and good for them because they CAN reclaim their lives.

This ^

When my tinnitus was mild for more than a decade, and I didn't understand that it was possible for it to even become worse than that, I would often put in noise isolating earphones and just listen to soft ringing sounds for concentration. It's a whole different ballgame now.

 

[Rajin]

Yes, tinnitus is just a noise, that's correct. But if it doesn't go away within 1 year, we have to accept that most likely it will be with us forever. Don't try to fight it. There are far worse things than tinnitus.

 

[cruise]

No, I hate it. I hate having ringing in my ears. June 1 it has been 16 months and I'm not mildly habituated, I've just been trying to ignore it the best I can. I hope the travel helps, I feel like such an unstable wreck.

There is nothing wrong with feeling like an unstable wreck. Don't fight the feeling. Accept it. It will get better.

 

[Lurius]

The fact that this thread even exists agitates me to no end. I refuse to believe the threadstarter ever had tinnitus. He has no idea what he's talking about.

 

[ASilverLight]

No, I hate it. I hate having ringing in my ears. June 1 it has been 16 months and I'm not mildly habituated, I've just been trying to ignore it the best I can. I hope the travel helps, I feel like such an unstable wreck.

Hey Tara - I just want to give some words of encouragement. It's totally okay to be upset and worried and mad and whatever else you are feeling right now. I'm at a similar time frame as you and I still get very worried and often feel defeated.

However, I've also picked up some hobbies again and have been doing fun little things as COVID-19 allows. It's not easy, there is a lot I have to miss out on and won't be going back to. I'm likely to lose my job, too, which sucks even more than all my current health issues ans those will make it very hard to find a new one lol.

But even so, I find happiness in the little things. I cook and bake a lot and when a new recipe turns out well, I do feel like my old self again as I'm doing something I enjoy with good results.

Finding things that distract you and occasionally allowing to take it all I as you would before is the first step. Soon you'll notice these moments become more and more frequent.

It won't ever be like it was before even if only because we have to be more careful, but despite the mess and pain we're in, happy and carefree moments are completely possible. I'm saying that as someone who was incredibly suicidal for months because of the hellish state of my tinnitus. Just allow yourself to enjoy the little things, it will get better eventually.

 

[DaveFromChicago]

The fact that this thread even exists agitates me to no end. I refuse to believe the threadstarter ever had tinnitus. He has no idea what he's talking about.

My sentiments exactly. This is reminiscent of the numerous accusations made against Julian Cowan Hill for ad nauseam insisting that habituation to tinnitus is as easy as ignoring the itching from a mosquito bite (which clearly indicates that anyone who ever had chronic intrusive tinnitus would absolutely not have made such a fatuous analogy).

I recall that in the 2011 version of "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy", the captured English agent was tied to a chair when in KGB custody and forced to listen to amplified tinnitus-like sounds through tightly affixed headphones.

This was not fictional; this was employed by the Soviet Bloc Secret Service as a routine form of torture (and I believe it was also used by the Chinese Communists to coerce confessions from our captured troops during the Korean War).

The drawbacks to habituation are:

1) there is never an appreciation of the unique subjectivity of each person's reception (and perception) of tinnitus; one size appears to fit all regarding their injunctions about habituating;

2) if you are not capable of marshalling the oftentimes Promethean effort required to "fully habituate", then you are blamed for a lack of determination (and therefore of character).

As I have reported before, one year or so ago a Poster on Tinnitus Talk heard that there was a physician's convention wherein several ENT doctors agreed to sit around a table and wear headphones that played loud, commonly described tinnitus sounds. The longest that any physician could endure this was 9 minutes.

 

[Tara Lyons]

Hey Tara - I just want to give some words of encouragement. It's totally okay to be upset and worried and mad and whatever else you are feeling right now. I'm at a similar time frame as you and I still get very worried and often feel defeated.

However, I've also picked up some hobbies again and have been doing fun little things as COVID-19 allows. It's not easy, there is a lot I have to miss out on and won't be going back to. I'm likely to lose my job, too, which sucks even more than all my current health issues ans those will make it very hard to find a new one lol.

But even so, I find happiness in the little things. I cook and bake a lot and when a new recipe turns out well, I do feel like my old self again as I'm doing something I enjoy with good results.

Finding things that distract you and occasionally allowing to take it all I as you would before is the first step. Soon you'll notice these moments become more and more frequent.

It won't ever be like it was before even if only because we have to be more careful, but despite the mess and pain we're in, happy and carefree moments are completely possible. I'm saying that as someone who was incredibly suicidal for months because of the hellish state of my tinnitus. Just allow yourself to enjoy the little things, it will get better eventually.

Thank you I now have all this crazy stuff going on with my eyes for the last week but the doctor put it down to dry eyes. I can't win lately

 

[Johan001]

Hi guys,

I agree with your opinions on the severity of tinnitus and its effect on us and the habituation. There's one big "but" in all this. We just have no other choice really. As much as I want to be wrong on it, the medical profession just doesn't care about tinnitus cures or remedies. In fact, they are busy making pills and vaccines that cause it in the first place. We can only count on our own ability to endure and adjust. I'm now figuring my own way out of this, but I no longer count on the western medicine and their poison.

Once again, I'd be glad to be proven wrong, but it's just my wishful thinking vs cruel reality.

 

[Gee82]

I have seen so many useless doctors in the past 2.5 years who went on about how tinnitus is only a noise, how it's just a bit annoying, how I will easily habituate.

Recently I have finally come across a doctor who, to my surprise, got it spot on, he said that tinnitus may be like a brain cancer that doesn't kill you. He explained thoroughly how that little bastard that is now messing up my auditory cortex and eventually will start bombarding other areas of the brain, destroying my emotions, my personality, my cognitive functions, which is exactly what I feel is happening to me.

I wish doctors and researchers could realize how tinnitus can destroy lives and how urgently we need a cure, instead of selling habituation as a solution.

But I guess they will never get it until there are no sufferers out there who belittle tinnitus as just a noise that you can habituate to.

 

[Jdwg]

No, I was on high doses of NSAIDs and used my kitchen blender a couple of times per day for a few days in a row and that's what gave me tinnitus. A decibel meter showed my blender got up to 105 dB which is the same level as a power tool.

Hello Chad, sorry to hear yours was caused from a food blender, mine was too. Could I ask what brand and model it was?

 

[Chad Lawton]

Hello Chad, sorry to hear yours was caused from a food blender, mine was too. Could I ask what brand and model it was?

Couldn't tell you. I think it was some cheap Hamilton Beach one that I won at Dave & Busters lol.

 

[Jdwg]

Couldn't tell you. I think it was some cheap Hamilton Beach one that I won at Dave & Busters lol.

No worries, it's absolutely insane that such loud items can be sold without any hearing warning... It's the biggest regret of my life purchasing a blender.

 

[Taqq]

My tinnitus is not that loud and I have to tell myself it's only a noise if it spikes - but I totally get for those with debilitating noise that it feels like an constant assault on your brain.

 

[Wrfortiscue]

I can have tinnitus that I don't notice and debilitating all in a day. With bad spikes waking me up at night.