Wedding Advice

[RonnieCarzatto]

So I'm getting married in t minus 4 weeks. This has been a taxing year, mentally and physically, since my lovely tinnitus decided to show up back in February. I was excited to be marrying the love of my life, and yet I am frightened beyond belief because we all know how loud these things get.

What does everyone recommend... just straight up earplugs? I was thinking of going with the Earasers...

I have been doing a good job of avoiding loud events. My hearing is still great. Sleeping okay, on and off but generally okay. Good days and bad days. I keep hoping, wishing, praying that it goes away, but am resigned to know it probably won't, so I want to protect my hearing.

It sucks to vent here, knowing I was looking forward to my wedding, and now I'm terrified of it. And not because of the marriage aspect (and the cost haha), just because of the tinnitus.

 

[Sean]

Try Hearos 33 dB. They are awesome!

Is there any way you can avoid live DJ at the wedding? Honestly I would but it's your choice.

If you can avoid live DJ... with right ear plugs. You should be fine.

 

[Bill Bauer]

Simple earplugs might not be enough. This forum is full of posts of people who wore ear protection to loud events and still hurt their ears. Luckily, I imagine you can have a say about what happens at the event. Do yourself and your bride a favour (your bride will suffer too if your T becomes debilitating) and ensure that the wedding will be reasonably quiet. You can talk to the band/whoever is in charge of music, and get the music to be at a bearable level. You can also actually call each guest, explain your situation, and get them to understand that it is important for the wedding to not be a loud event.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Is there any way you can avoid live DJ at the wedding? Honestly I would but it's your choice.

If you can avoid live DJ... with right ear plugs. You should be fine.

Or maybe talk to the DJ in advance and give him specific directions about the overall volume and where you'd like the speakers. Make sure the speakers are not directed at where you will sit during the reception meal or too close to where you'll have your first dance.

 

[Tinker Bell]

You can also actually call each guest, explain your situation, and get them to understand that it is important for the wedding to not be a loud event.

This is a great idea, but it might not be possible to call every guest. My wedding was smaller than most of my friends' weddings, but I still had around 150 guests.

Perhaps you could put a note in the wedding program, or even something on the reception tables. Maybe a small card with some chocolate and each place setting.

 

[Bill Bauer]

but I still had around 150 guests.

It shouldn't take longer than something like 5 hours to call the families who are invited. If this reduces the chance that your T will get worse, it would be a great investment...

 

[Sean]

Or maybe talk to the DJ in advance and give him specific directions about the overall volume and where you'd like the speakers. Make sure the speakers are not directed at where you will sit during the reception meal or too close to where you'll have your first dance.

Good point. I would just totally avoid the DJ if possible or have music play at a low volume.
2-3 hours of fun versus may be life time of suffering.

 

[RonnieCarzatto]

@Sean I actually paid for him last year. Before tinnitus, and signed a contract, so cancelling means I lose money, and result in a very pissed off bride.

@Bill Bauer Good suggestions, but unfortunately I have well over 200 guests coming from all over the world (USA, parts of Europe, parts of East Asia...) so this is a little unrealistic. But a good call no doubt.

@Tinker Bell I'll discuss this with the DJ in advance, I like that chocolate idea, very good idea.

Thank you all.

Tinnitus sucks.

 

[Bill Bauer]

@Bill Bauer Good suggestions, but unfortunately I have well over 200 guests coming from all over the world (USA, parts of Europe, parts of East Asia...) so this is a little unrealistic. But a good call no doubt.

You could send them all an e-mail message. I would also request that they respond to confirm that they received and read the message. I would then call the people who haven't responded.

 

[Bill Bauer]

so cancelling means I lose money, and result in a very pissed off bride.

If your honeymoon is ruined as a result of a spike, your bride will be even more upset. This money is nothing compared to losing your marriage and possibly your life, if the noise at the wedding causes you to get a permanent spike and get your T into debilitating category.

 

[Tinker Bell]

@Tinker Bell I'll discuss this with the DJ in advance, I like that chocolate idea, very good idea.

Thank you all.

Tinnitus sucks.

If you're doing a plated meal, it should suffice to put on every plate a piece of chocolate attached to a card explaining you would like everyone to keep the volume down to help you have a "sweet" wedding reception.

But definetly talk to the DJ. You can have him make an announcement as well.

And one random thought that really might help you: we gave everyone small containers of bubbles and they blew them as we left the church and entered our reception. I didn't think about it at the time, but it kept everyone from cheering or clapping -- they were too busy blowing bubbles. And it made for neat pictures.

 

[JoyBenz007]

I got married may 20th and my T started may 1st...it didn't affect it...I wore foam earplugs. And I had a blast dancing. Not so much in the morning...i know the feeling. I was so excited to get married! It was a day I had been looking forward for a year and six months!!!

 

[RonnieCarzatto]

I got married may 20th and my T started may 1st...it didn't affect it...I wore foam earplugs. And I had a blast dancing. Not so much in the morning...i know the feeling. I was so excited to get married! It was a day I had been looking forward for a year and six months!!!

I've been looking forward to it for a long, long time. In fact, I really wish now I did it sooner. I can't believe tinnitus infected my life just as I felt like life was in the palm of my and my incredibly understanding fiance's hands Funny how life screws with you.

I appreciate your message.

 

[JoyBenz007]

I've been looking forward to it for a long, long time. In fact, I really wish now I did it sooner. I can't believe tinnitus infected my life just as I felt like life was in the palm of my and my incredibly understanding fiance's hands Funny how life screws with you.

I appreciate your message.

It has affected me in ways I didn't know possible.
My husband has been understanding as can be and I hope your soon to be wife is too! I hope you have a great time at the wedding and congrats. And remember they have nude plugs! Lol

 

[Sean]

@Sean I actually paid for him last year. Before tinnitus, and signed a contract, so cancelling means I lose money, and result in a very pissed off bride.

@Bill Bauer Good suggestions, but unfortunately I have well over 200 guests coming from all over the world (USA, parts of Europe, parts of East Asia...) so this is a little unrealistic. But a good call no doubt.

@Tinker Bell I'll discuss this with the DJ in advance, I like that chocolate idea, very good idea.

Thank you all.

Tinnitus sucks.

I understand and feel for you . I honestly wouldn't go close to loud noise no matter what.
While back I read on other board now one lady went to birth day and wore plugs . They had live music and now her life got ruined after that party . She wrote a page long essay on how she regrets going to the party .

If music is a must ..you play it a very low volume . I know you have guests coming and you don't want to disappoint them. You can play music at a very low volume and take off after a while so other guest can enjoy loud music . Tough call man! All the best to you !

 

[RonnieCarzatto]

@Sean Pretty much my plan. I don't think I'll be hanging around the dance floor, and if I am I'll have my plugs in and keep it short. Thankfully, I viewed a layout of the place just now and I figured out a good place to put the DJ booth/speakers so I'll be at a decent distance from the speakers. My rule of thumb will be, if the guests have to shout over each other, it's too loud.

Appreciate the words, big time.

 

[Jomo]

Here is the best advice you will find..get 30 db custom or reg musician ear plugs and tell the DJ to lower the bass and you should be ok. I prefer custom plugs but you may not have enough time. Make sure you take breaks when you can. I have gone to 2 weddings this year so far and am getting married myself this yr.

 

[RonnieCarzatto]

@Jomo I just ordered these: https://www.amazon.com/Earasers-HEM...7357&sr=8-2&keywords=earasers+musicians+plugs

I'll definitely tell him to make sure the bass is low

 

[Sean]

I had ordered those 3-4 years ago . Trust me it doesn't protect ear as much .
Sorry if I am giving you unsolicited advise but I don't want any one to suffer .

 

[Sean]

@Sean Pretty much my plan. I don't think I'll be hanging around the dance floor, and if I am I'll have my plugs in and keep it short. Thankfully, I viewed a layout of the place just now and I figured out a good place to put the DJ booth/speakers so I'll be at a decent distance from the speakers. My rule of thumb will be, if the guests have to shout over each other, it's too loud.

Appreciate the words, big time.

Good idea ..
But please do consider buying 33 dB plugs.

 

[Jake007]

So I'm getting married in t minus 4 weeks. This has been a taxing year, mentally and physically, since my lovely T decided to show up back in February. I was excited to be marrying the love of my life, and yet I am frightened beyond belief because we all know how loud these things get.

What does everyone recommend... just straight up earplugs? I was thinking of going with the Earasers...

I have been doing a good job of avoiding loud events. My hearing is still great. Sleeping okay, on and off but generally okay. Good days and bad days. I keep hoping, wishing, praying that it goes awya, but am resigned to know it probably won't, so I want to protect my hearing.

It sucks to vent here, knowing I was looking forward to my wedding, and now I'm terrified of it. And not because of the marriage aspect (and the cost haha), just because of the tinnitus.

Ronnie I'm so very sorry that you have to deal t during your wedding. I wish I could give you the best advice available, but I can't. This should be a time of happiness and enjoying your new wife, and it will Ronnie. Stay strong as I know you are. Again, I'm very sorry. But.......... protect your ears, marry your love, and go kick some ass my friend.

 

[RonnieCarzatto]

@Sean I can assure you, I genuinely appreciate and look into all advice (it's why I wrote here in the first place!), so absolutely no need to be sorry. I actually cancelled my order and am conducting more research. As much as I want to go foam (and I just might!), I'm bearing in mind photos and the like. I know it's very dumb and cosmetic but it's still something on my mind.

I have found a pair that reduces levels to 28db, so I'm considering those.

 

[RonnieCarzatto]

@Jake007 I really appreciate that, thank you very much and I will. Tinnitus sucks, it really sucks, but come hell or high water I will not let that ruin what will be me and my future wife's happiest day.

Thanks again dude!

 

[Jake007]

but come hell or high water I will not let that ruin what will be me and my future wife's happiest day.

Spoken like a stud, it's obvious your a good man. I wish you all the best, you deserve it.

 

[Bill Bauer]

@Jake007come hell or high water I will not let that ruin what will be me and my future wife's happiest day.

Consider completely ignoring what happens or doesn't happen during ONE day, and focusing on making sure you don't ruin the life that you will have after that day is over.

 

[Jake007]

Consider completely ignoring what happens or doesn't happen during ONE day, and focusing on making sure you don't ruin the life that you will have after that day is over.

He'll be fine, he's getting married to the woman he loves bill. And he's not letting t get in the way of it. I'm sure he'll protect his ears and have a awesome time.

 

[Sean]

@Sean I can assure you, I genuinely appreciate and look into all advice (it's why I wrote here in the first place!), so absolutely no need to be sorry. I actually cancelled my order and am conducting more research. As much as I want to go foam (and I just might!), I'm bearing in mind photos and the like. I know it's very dumb and cosmetic but it's still something on my mind.

I have found a pair that reduces levels to 28db, so I'm considering those.

Btw , if you insert hearos bright plugs all the way ..they might show little but you can edit the pics .
Even if you cut 33 dB hearos plugs I believe they will block ear canal since they are very thick . You can order one box and try it out . If you just cut little bit I think they will hide in your ear canal completely .
Some one on this board had recommended those plugs ( I believe markuu ) about 3 years ago and they are life savior for me .

 

[Bill Bauer]

And he's not letting t get in the way of it.

He is not letting T get in the way of the wedding day being an overwhelming success at the cost of increasing the chance that his life (and his bride's life) will be miserable for years (possibly decades) to come.

I'm sure he'll protect his ears and have a awesome time.

What about his life after the wedding?

 

[Jake007]

He is not letting T get in the way of the wedding day being an overwhelming success at the cost of increasing the chance that his life (and his bride's life) will be miserable for years (possibly decades) to come.

What about his life after the wedding?

He and his newly wife will not be miserable bill. I'm convinced you are obsessed with protecting your ears. Ronnie is getting married, loud noise is inevitable. Yes, protection is necessary. But bill you have to stop pressing the issue that people's lives will be ruined if they go out and do shit.

 

[Sean]

He and his newly wife will not be miserable bill. I'm convinced you are obsessed with protecting your ears. Ronnie is getting married, loud noise is inevitable. Yes, protection is necessary. But bill you have to stop pressing the issue that people's lives will be ruined if they go out and do shit.

Jake007..I also avoid ALL loud events . I have read several post of different members saying how they regret going to loud events like weddding parties ..concerts etc .
Wedding day is such a important day for Ronnie but I truely believe if he can some how keeps DJ volume low and wear protection he can enjoy time after marriage .
I had gotten mega T after concert which I don't think as loud as rock concert . it was probably as loud as typical Dj party . I am telling you I was miserable for 3-4 months ! It was most horrible time of time .
Imagine newly married and you get crazy spike. One day of sacrifice can mean many months of peaceful time ..against just my 2 cents and just trying to look out for Ronnie .