What Happened to Bam Who Ended in a Psych Ward?

#91
#98
There are a couple posters that haven't been on in a long time that I really wonder about. Glad to hear Bam is still hanging in there.
 
#100
Jazzer said:
A totally clueless remark,
in my not so humble opinion.
You clearly have no clue what levels of severity this thing can reach.
Click to expand...

I am acutely aware of the severity of both tinnitus and hyperacusis. And it has had quite a big impact on my daily life. As we all know, these two conditions are quite subjective and affect each of us differently. Your quote of my comment leads me to think you may have been offended. If so I apologize.

I am not on here as much as some of you. Like I posted earlier, I check in once in a while just hoping for a new treatment or therapy. I myself experiment with various supplements, foods, beverages, etc. to see if I can tell what may affect mine. And if I ever discover something I would want to share it here.

I think forums like this are a "give and take" type of forum. We come on here to take in any kind of beneficial information. And I think it is the duty of all of us to give back if we learn anything beneficial on our own.

Also, I'm glad to read in this thread that Bam is alive. These suicide threads are the very reason I am not on here much.

Best wishes to all!
 
#101
Tex said:
Also, I'm glad to read in this thread that Bam is alive. These suicide threads are the very reason I am not on here much.
Click to expand...

Thanks. For the record I'm not 'glad' I'm alive. My life is as fucking miserable and tortured as it's possible to get.

Just like Gabby Olthuis I would shed tears of relief if the dreadful 'choice' of constant sound torture or suicide was taken out of my hands by any one of the illnesses you listed which you deem worse than tinnitus.

I think that's what @Jazzer was getting at in his post about severity.

Chronic, constant, loud head noise is literally the sound of suicide........ Having suffered constantly from 85db screaming 14000hz T for nearly a year and a half I don't see how it could possibly get much worse in my humble opinion.

Is taken every ounce of joy from my life. I've been left alone in what I can only describe as hell on earth where everything I once knew and recognised is gone. Every comfort, every joy, every shred of hope. My entire sense of self has been obliterated by the misery. It's the darkest, most hopeless place any human could find themselves trapped in.

Sadly there is every chance it will kill me soon.
 
#102
Bam said:
Thanks. For the record I'm not 'glad' I'm alive. My life is as fucking miserable and tortured as it's possible to get.

Just like Gabby Olthuis I would shed tears of relief if the dreadful 'choice' of constant sound torture or suicide was taken out of my hands by any one of the illnesses you listed which you deem worse than tinnitus.

I think that's what @Jazzer was getting at in his post about severity.

Chronic, constant, loud head noise is literally the sound of suicide........ Having suffered constantly from 85db screaming 14000hz T for nearly a year and a half I don't see how it could possibly get much worse in my humble opinion.

Is taken every ounce of joy from my life. I've been left alone in what I can only describe as hell on earth where everything I once knew and recognised is gone. Every comfort, every joy, every shred of hope. My entire sense of self has been obliterated by the misery. It's the darkest, most hopeless place any human could find themselves trapped in.

Sadly there is every chance it will kill me soon.
Click to expand...

Hang in there @Bam see what neuromodulation is about. There was patient testimonials with guys with "way past 10/10 tinnitus down to a 3/10
 
#104
Bam said:
Sadly there is every chance it will kill me soon.
Click to expand...
Does gabapentin plus diazepam taken together or separately knock down your noise some? Sometimes people need zolpidem to sleep as lack of sleep seems to exasperate the noise. I'm hoping you get some relief somehow buddy. I have a loud hiss atm that sometimes gets knocked out with diazepam 10 mg. I'm not worried about brain tolerance or resistance at this time in my case.
 
#105
just1morething said:
Does Gabapentin plus Diazepam taken together or separately knock down your noise some? Sometimes people need Zolpidem to sleep as lack of sleep seems to exasperate the noise. I'm hoping you get some relief somehow buddy.
Click to expand...
Valium used to help a bit for very brief periods. Never tried Gabapentin. I highly doubt I would get a prescription for it. Gave up on doctors months ago. Fed up with the hopeless begging bowl scenario over and over. Please help me. Please help me. Buying myself a deadly and illegal escape route felt empowering and like a small victory in that sense.
 
#106
#107
@Tex
"This condition doesn't even compare......"

I'm going to be very frank with you Tex,
your comment here appalled me !!!
Disgusted me!

Read any one of @Bam s posts,
read any one of @Jazzer s posts,
read @Manny 's posts,
read @JohnAdams posts......

These are people who suffer complete hell on earth - constant vile loud fucking inner head noise every millisecond of their lives, and quite possibly may do until they die.

But of course - reading suicidal posts seems to upset your rather delicate sensibilities, to a point where you prefer to tell us that you don't wish to visit the forum very often.
Oh dear - I am so very sorry for you Tex.

Time to get real brother!

You do not suffer with this severity, though you have almost certainly convinced yourself that you do.
Yes - you 'think' you do - but your demeaning words betray you.
The hooks that show acute suffering are quite simply absent.
Don't get me wrong, I do not begrudge you your evidently milder Tinnitus, but how dare you compare these other conditions you mention to what we have, without the experiences that we are forced to live with day in, and day out.

I will also say this.
I don't for one minute think you are malicious.
Unfortunately you make the very common mistake of identifying the Tinnitus experience you have as being that which we all have.
This forum is loaded with members who do just that - out of ignorance.
I'm afraid the only option you leave us is to attempt to educate you on the very different aspects of severity.

I won't be a bit surprised if you find what I am telling you here to be unpalatable, but somehow somebody has to get through to you with the truth.
I will wish you all the best Tex,
and mean it when I say 'no hard feelings,'
Dave x
Jazzer
 
#108
Let me tell you something Jazzer. You telling me that my Tinnitus is any less severe than yours or anyone else you mention is quite ignorant, considering this is a subjective condition. And I don't care to have a "pissing match" with you over who's condition is worse.

And mine does cause me HELL on EARTH every single minute of every day. I have debilitating headaches from it almost every day.

I just don't get on a forum saying that I'm going to kill myself. I'm a Hell of a lot stronger that that. And I don't need you to "educate" me on anything. I learned it the hard way already.

And like many on here, I have witnessed long grueling deaths from a number of other illnesses, like cancer, MS, Parkinson's, Diabetes, Alzheimer's, and on and on. And though my ears screech 24/7/365, I'm not in the pain that cancer can cause, both from the treatment or final death. I'm mobile, unlike people with MS, Parkinson's, or a diabetic with there feet cut off. So yes I dare compare our condition to these others.

Jazzer, You are obviously having a very bad day. Tinnitus does that to all of us. Try to chill and maybe it will get better.
 
#109
I will point out that those poor people suffering with cancer, which has struck our family so many times, motor neurone disease, which destroyed two of my closest friends, Parkinson's, and severe diabetes, almost always choose to go on living.
At least they usually live in a condition of silence.
Many with the most severe forms of Tinnitus, wish for a swifter end.
However, I have said what I felt needed saying, and I stand by it.
 
#111
Bam said:
@TuxedoCat @linearb @Manny

Thanks guys. I'm all good....T still killing me but I committed myself to doing 2 years so sticking to that. Not posting as much as I really have run out of ways to describe this endless misery. Failing a miracle, neuromod will be my last roll of the dice I suspect........Hope you're all okay, given the spectacularly shit circumstances that have befallen us. Much love.xx
Click to expand...

Here's to you soon becoming Neuromod's most inspirational testimonial.
 
#114
There are two camps on here.
Those that know - and those that refuse to understand.
It will always be so.

Noise can - and does - kill.
 
#116
If I had a choice between my severe mouth damage nerve pain and my severe tinnitus and boom PT to end - I would choose to end the pain.
Jazzer said:
At least they usually live in a condition of peaceful silence.
Click to expand...
True my gentle soul caring friend. Some also live with severe pain and some of those also have tinnitus from disease and needed medications. Without graphics, a visit to a level 1 trauma hospital is needed to understand care of life procedures of disease and injury.
 
#117
Greg Sacramento said:
If I had a choice between my severe mouth damage nerve pain and my severe tinnitus and boom PT to end - I would choose to end the pain.

True my gentle soul friend, some also live with severe pain and some of those also have tinnitus from disease and needed medications. Without graphics, a visit to a level 1 trauma hospital is needed to understand care of life procedures of disease and injury.
Click to expand...

I agree, Greg. Many people suffer hideously with various conditions/illnesses, so there's no point comparing. We all just need to be compassionate.
 
#118
@Greg Sacramento
I simply cannot imagine all the pain that you manage to live with - nobody could.
I have constant extreme noise as you know, but I am without the torment of physical pain.
Nobodies pain and discomfort should be minimised, and comparing one hateful predicament with another is odious and pointless.
When I see real suffering being dismissed I have to speak up I'm afraid.
I would like to thank you for all the efforts you make to help those that seek your advice Greg - you truly are a 'one off' buddy.
Dave x
 
#120
Vicki14 said:
Hey @Bam

Probably a rhetorical question here... how've you been doing as you've been awfy quiet these days.... x
Click to expand...

I've resigned myself to neuormod being last chance saloon Vic. If I don't see some relief before the year is out I really can't see the point of going on and on and on. Sure I get some moments where I feel okayish. But I'm not happy. I know we say it over and over but there's no joy in a life with constant tinnitus. I don't care what anyone else thinks or says. Everyday it's right there screaming in your face before you even get out of bed. It destroys your day before it even begins. The huge sadness is i do think we will have a full cure within 10 or 15 years but by that point the best and most productive years of my life will be gone and I can foresee only bitterness at what I endured and was taken from me in the prime of my life only to have a cure come far too late. It's all very distresssing and tragic...... I know you understand.xx
 

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