What Should I Do About My Family? They Don't Understand What I'm Going Through

[Fortuna117]

I have a family who are not very understanding of this condition.

They instantly believe any line a doctor feeds them.

They believe I need to be on an antidepressant.

They believe that this will fix everything.

That I am just doing nothing and allowing myself to be sad about the tinnitus.

They are so clueless to the fact that nothing will help.

They fail to understand how much joy this condition has sucked from my life.

Why I no longer enjoy television or movies.

How can I make them understand how much of a shitty situation tinnitus is?

 

[GSC]

Have them read stories here on this site. Read it aloud to them, one by one. Play the sound that is in your head to them and refuse to turn it off.

 

[Fortuna117]

They are now talking about sending me to a mental hospital. That I need to get my head sorted straight.

Sadly, this is the same treatment I received when I had mild tinnitus.

What ultimately made it worse in the first place.

 

[rdz]

I agree with GSC, if it's a frequency that you are able to let them listen to that is just like or similar to yours show them. Tell them that this is something you have to listen to every day non stop, maybe that way they could become more understanding of your tinnitus.

 

[GSC]

They are now talking about sending me to a mental hospital.

Do you want to go? I mean, you probably don't. But maybe you will be around people who are more inclined to understand you. Maybe there you can have some form of silence and coping. ( Though that really depends on if it's a good one, because a lot of them are shit. )

 

[Fortuna117]

Do you want to go? I mean, you probably don't. But maybe you will be around people who are more inclined to understand you. Maybe there you can have some form of silence and coping. ( Though that really depends on if it's a good one, because a lot of them are shit. )

I have tried a mental hospital they do not help.

 

[GSC]

I have tried a mental hospital they do not help.

Your best thing to do is either show them the sound inside your head, or read them stories on here - how other people here feel and what this condition does to them. Show them that you're not the only one, that you're not just some 'depressed' case.

 

[Fortuna117]

Your best thing to do is either show them the sound inside your head, or read them stories on here - how other people here feel and what this condition does to them. Show them that you're not the only one, that you're not just some 'depressed' case.

Doctors have convinced them that the site is toxic.

To quote my mum:
"I forbid you going on that site. All they are bunch of people who complain."

So reading them stories will not work.

I have tried playing them the tones in the past and they are rather unphased as they cannot imagine the impact of having it 24/7.

 

[threefirefour]

The doctors have convinced them that the site is toxic.

To quote my mum:
"I forbid you going on that site. All they are bunch of people who complain."

Doctors deliberately ignoring your true concerns is what's toxic.

 

[GSC]

The doctors have convinced them that the site is toxic.

To quote my mum:
"I forbid you going on that site. All they are bunch of people who complain."

Your doctors are stupid as fuck. Why wouldn't they want you to be in touch with people who can relate to you and understand you. Lmao. Guess isolation is better in their head.

 

[Kain]

"All they are bunch of people who complain."

I mean we all have it so yeah people are gonna complain. It's not like doctors are helping anyways. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Fortuna117]

I mean we all have it so yeah people are gonna complain. It's not like doctors are helping anyways. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

100% agree doctors are useless:


The first ENT stated the Tinnitus was temporary.

He suggested selling therapy pet (anxiety).


The GP was clueless when it came to tinnitus.

Refused my request for steroids.

Refused to check my supplements.

Flushed my ears out with a syringe.

Prescribed an ototoxic antibiotic.

Booked me into an MRI.


Radiologist:

Refused to answer my questions.
Provided me with thermal earmuffs for protecting.

Utilised my own earplugs.

Made my Tinnitus worse.


Biggest problem was my family:

Refused to reduce noise when I had hyperacusis.

Stated it was not a big issue.

Refused to talk about the condition.


They also kicked me out:
Mother: For swearing.

Grand: For lounging on the sofa.

Dad: Borrowed his apartment keys without asking.


None of them were really giving me the opportunity to relax.

Of course they deny their actions that contributed to this eventuality.

Sadly, my mother saw a the opportunity to attempt to repair my relationship with my father.

Because she wanted to establish a situation where I live with him half the time.

I asked if we could until my health was better but she thought this would be the easiest opportunity.

She took advantage of situation and this lead to my downfall.

 

[Jazzer]

Dear @Fortuna117
Thank you for making your description so clear.

Sadly I have to confirm something that you already know.
Your family is thoroughly toxic.
I see no sign of love there.
Correct me if I am wrong.

We have to educate those around us!
We must get through to them!
They can provide the difference between life and death - literally!
I made an Awareness Video which you can find on YouTube called "Dave's Tinnitus Story," which will point out very clearly what the experience of 'T' is.

You definitely need to find some allies my friend.
As you can not get through to them yourself, you may need to find a family friend that they respect, or a different doctor who will listen to you - somebody who can get through to them that this is not laziness, or mental illness, but intense suffering to a horrible degree.

Eventually, given the opportunity for some peace and quiet time, you can recover a life, with the help of relaxation and meditation.

But your primary need is to show your family that by rejecting you they are playing with fire.
Please find some allies to help you fight your corner, and change their attitude.
You need understanding, and some loving kindness.
This condition is heartbreaking on its own, let alone compounded by rejection.

Whatever they say to you, do not be forced into leaving this site.
At the moment it seems to be your only lifeline.
Best wishes my friend, and keep coming here as often as you need to,
love
Dave x
Jazzer

 

[Fortuna117]

Dear @Fortuna117
Thank you for making your description so clear.

Sadly I have to confirm something that you already know.
Your family is thoroughly toxic.
I see no sign of love there.
Correct me if I am wrong.

100% correct.

They always state if they did not love me I would be out on the streets.

This is moronic.

There is more to loving someone than providing a home for them.

Before when I had mild tinnitus my parents stated they were worried.

But what is the point of stating this if
you are doing nothing to support your son.

When asking for help they state "You're 25 years old deal with it" or "You did not let you sister inside when she knocked on the door why should we help you?".

She had a key to get inside.

She demanded I stop what I was doing (studying) and let her inside.

All I asked was for her to say please.

Even the psychologist stated they need to curve their behaviour.

They responded that "They will not be manipulated like this".

My father even compared losing his mother at the age of 17 to my tinnitus.

If he believes a natural fact of life compares to tinnitus just shows how clueless he is about the condition.

It is no wonder I suffered from depression before getting this condition.

 

[Jazzer]

 

[Audiophile_bg]

@Fortuna117, sorry for your family situation. This is why we need to raise awareness for this awful condition.

 

[JohnAdams]

How can I make them understand how much of a shitty situation tinnitus is?

Go get an air horn and offer to blast them in the ears with it and if they refuse then tell them they are hypocrites.

 

[GSC]

Go get an air horn and offer to blast them in the ears with it and if they refuse then tell them they are hypocrites.

 

[Audiophile_bg]

Go get an air horn and offer to blast them in the ears with it and if they refuse then tell them they are hypocrites.

For real tho.

 

[Jazzer]

They responded that "They will not be manipulated like this".

This sentense tells me all I need to know about your family.

They do not deserve you my friend,

Dave x
Jazzer

 

[winstona]

My father even compared losing his mother at the age of 17 to my tinnitus.

If he believes a natural fact of life compares to tinnitus just shows how clueless he is about the condition.

It is no wonder I suffered from depression before getting this condition.

Indeed. I lost my father when I was 12...

It was nothing compared to the tinnitus I am suffering. Losing someone in life is hard and it takes time to deal with but tinnitus is just a different beast.

If he thinks this is the only tragic incident he went through in his life, he probably never suffered anything!

I just give up talking to people about tinnitus, especially to family members. Because when you are expecting them to make you feel better by talking to them, you ended up feeling even worse because they are clueless and don't understand your suffering.

 

[Starthrower]

I have a family who are not very understanding of this condition.

When asking for help they state "You're 25 years old deal with it"

This is when you learn to depend on yourself @Fortuna117. In life this applies to almost everything. What can you do to improve your situation?

In one sense your family has been there for you they just don't understand tinnitus severity.

 

[coffee_girl]

Relocation seems necessary

 

[Fortuna117]

This is when you learn to depend on yourself @Fortuna117. In life this applies to almost everything. What can you do to improve your situation?

In one sense your family has been there for you they just don't understand tinnitus severity.

If I had cancer there is no way I could make it through that condition alone.

Tinnitus is no different I was feeling like I was drowning.

Especially, when I gave away my support pet on the ENT orders.

I was hoping that the parrot would help me get through the situation.

Because the ENT stated to sell the bird I thought it had been the causation and that it gave me hearing loss.

I understand now that I had no hearing loss and ENT failed to grasp the concept of a pet being a family member.

Every other ENT and doctor stated they thought a parrot giving someone tinnitus seemed very unlikely and not to sell the bird.

After selling the bird the GP noticed a instant change in my behaviour and how I was unable to cope with the condition.

Losing my only support system is what caused me to loose my mind especially when you consider that the condition started in September and I waited until December to get it checked.

So selling the bird did created a position for depression to exist.

I was just requesting help from my family what is wrong with that?

Granted, I understood my parents cold shoulder.

As because before getting tinnitus I would have treated the condition no differently.

 

[Fortuna117]

Relocation seems necessary

Yep. That is what is occurring at the moment.

 

[Fortuna117]

So at the age of 26 years my entire future has been destroyed.

Unfortunately, for me I understand that nothingness exists after death.

So basically it is whole life of torture followed by nothingness.

I am hopeful for a cure but I have clicking ears and pulsatile on top of the tinnitus.

Even if the ringing stops.

My ears will never be the same.

This is sad because I needed something in life.

What is more pathetic is that my mother has quoted "I have the entire church praying for you".

This just goes to show she wants to help but without taking any real action else why brag about getting a church to pray?

The only positive thing to come from all this is that I no longer care about dying.

 

[Fortuna117]

Seems that my prophecy was correct.

That if parents did not care about my condition than I would end up killing myself.

I honestly see no other way to end my pain which consumes me everyday.

Which sucks as before kept saying at least I have another 80 years to live.

 

[Fortuna117]

The GP was also the biggest douchebag about tinnitus stating that when it was mild:

"If you going to complain about every little thing in your life than life is going to be tough."

"I had patients who had it for years that never complain about it why do you? Must be some underlying condition"

 

[GSC]

The GP was also the biggest douchebag about tinnitus stating that when it was mild:

"If you going to complain about every little thing in your life than life is going to be tough."

Uhm.

 

[Fortuna117]

Uhm.

Sorry just had to rant.