What Should I Do About My Family? They Don't Understand What I'm Going Through

[Fortuna117]

is her behavior new? I wonder if she has psychological issues going on. It could be about herself or a way of denying your health issues? I sadly think she won't change unless someone else talks to her and figures out what is going on in her head.

That is no way to treat a child especially when they have a serious health issue in which they are suffering. I am sorry you are going through that.

I believe she suffers from bipolar disorder, OCD, or some other mental disorders.

Sadly, she is a victim and so I feel sorry for her.

When I was a kid my father would forcible grab and hurt her.

One night when I told my father to leave my mother alone (10 years old) he went after me and nearly broke my arm.

He has countless cops called on him by my sisters when he hurt them only for the story changed at the last second when the arrived.

He went to anger management classes.

Regardless, a lot of her behavior is evident of a past violent history.

She is quick to anger once kicking me out of home for leaving a dish in the sink.

When she cannot found something or something is out of place you'd better run.

She punches and hits people and than pretends it is a game.

One time I arrived back from university to find a hole in the wall and my stepfather with a black eye.

When even the slightest thing is out of place she yells and screams.

Today, when she could not find my glasses and keys I told her not to worry about the small stuff.

That I would just wear my old glasses and walk to the shops until we found the other stuff.

She yelled at me, called me stupid, and just would not stop searching.

Once she found the keys she throw them at me and cursed at me saying she wants me out of the house.

I truly do not blame her as she is a victim of abuse.
Same as my sisters and me.

Sadly, I do not want to live in this world anymore so it is only a matter of time.

Expanded:

This is why I needed a therapy pet in the first place and suffered from depression. Because my whole family is abusive.

Other examples:
Grandparents strangled my sister when she was younger.

Father broke my sisters door and strangled her.

Stepbrother wanted to fight me. So I locked him outside.

Sister threatened me when I did not open door for her. I asked if she could asked politely she stated "NO" called her husband he stated if I did not open the door he would bash me.

Stepfather blocked access to my room so I tried side stepping him so he punched the shit out of me.

Similar situation when he asked me to empty the bin when I was writing my thesis the next day.
I sated I would do it but only after the thesis was complete.

Found my mother had a hidden GPS tracker on my phone.

Mother tried attacking stepfather he needed to restrain her.

Father tried burning me a lighter.

Those are only the ones I can think of from the top of my head.
I swear to god my family is not normal and I am the only normal one.

They keep throwing the fact that I am a 26 year old student living at home and occasionally swear.
They are a bunch of dickheads.

 

[Fortuna117]

In addition my mother thought it would be good idea while I had tinnitus to go live with my dad who I had not spoken to for over a year because last time his was verbally abusive.

This time it was no different and left me disabled.

 

[Tanni]

In addition my mother thought it would be good idea while I had tinnitus to go live with my dad who I had not spoken to for over a year because last time his was verbally abusive.

This time it was no different and left me disabled.

Fortuna, it is abundantly clear to me from your posts, especially the long one above this one, that although you suffer with Tinnitus and Hyperacusis, your main issue is your parents/family. Almost all of your posts are about them, with Tinnitus as a kind of secondary issue.

Are you focusing on the Tinnitus (which we all know is horribly distressing) to avoid dealing with the main issue - your abusive family? Sometimes it's easier to focus on a problem that we can't solve, than to face one we can.

You are really young at 25, especially to be dealing with Tinnitus, but not a child. Is there a possibility to move out of the house? Are you working? If you're still a student, can you stay in halls? Are you signing on? I know you will tell me all the reasons why you can't move out from your family home(s), but you have attempted suicide twice - surely you can try absolutely anything to remove yourself from the situation if you're prepared to kill yourself over it?

I think then you may have a chance of dealing with your health issues. I would suggest talking to your family about how you feel, but from the sounds of your posts it is a bit beyond that now, especially if they are aware you are suicidal and are still being physically/emotionally abusive.

 

[PeteJ]

In addition my mother thought it would be good idea while I had tinnitus to go live with my dad who I had not spoken to for over a year because last time his was verbally abusive.

This time it was no different and left me disabled.

Do you have any other relatives who you could live with?

It's hard enough to live with tinnitus AND deal with unsupportive and abusive family members too. If they won't change or talk to counselors, you have to try to find other options.

You could call a family counselor or look at ways you can move out? It does not sound like they will change for you on their own. They might not with an intervention either. But, you shouldn't have to deal with that. There is so much on your plate. You could contact organizations that deal with family violence and abuse?

 

[Fortuna117]

Do you have any other relatives who you could live with?

It's hard enough to live with tinnitus AND deal with unsupportive and abusive family members too. If they won't change or talk to counselors, you have to try to find other options.

You could call a family counselor or look at ways you can move out? It does not sound like they will change for you on their own. They might not with an intervention either. But, you shouldn't have to deal with that. There is so much on your plate. You could contact organizations that deal with family violence and abuse?

Sill going to kill myself because my whole family are a bunch of A holes.

But, if it is any help Dextromethorphan reduced my tinnitus.
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[Mister Muso]

My wife is a doctor (an adolescent psychiatrist to be precise). She's not unsupportive of my condition and she does love me, but whenever I complain about the lack of help I've had from 5 out of 6 of the doctors I've seen, she takes the doctors' side! I said to a friend she's "defending her profession", and she volunteered those words herself the very next day completely unprompted, after she had spent time making fun of this forum (which she won't read) and saying the people on it must all be "clueless" if they don't trust doctors to help. That was after I said the doctors were all clueless, mind you. Why does she need to defend her profession anyway? It's hardly a slight against her if I'm expressing disappointment with ENT doctors!

I try to avoid the topic, but she keeps bringing it up herself, and if I say I'm struggling with the medication and side-effects I've been given to help me sleep etc, she says I just need to keep taking them anyway. I'm struggling to be effective in my work because the medication (amitriptylene) just makes me exhausted all the time.

I feel very isolated but the one place I feel I can talk about what I'm going through - this place - is just met with scorn and derision by my wife. Very upsetting.

It's only just beginning to hit her that I can't go to movies and concerts with her any more. We struggle to find things in common that we both like to do to be honest, and that's going to be one less thing (or two fewer things) in the future.

 

[GoatSheep]

My wife is a doctor (an adolescent psychiatrist to be precise). She's not unsupportive of my condition and she does love me, but whenever I complain about the lack of help I've had from 5 out of 6 of the doctors I've seen, she takes the doctors' side! I said to a friend she's "defending her profession", and she volunteered those words herself the very next day completely unprompted, after she had spent time making fun of this forum (which she won't read) and saying the people on it must all be "clueless" if they don't trust doctors to help. That was after I said the doctors were all clueless, mind you. Why does she need to defend her profession anyway? It's hardly a slight against her if I'm expressing disappointment with ENT doctors!

I try to avoid the topic, but she keeps bringing it up herself, and if I say I'm struggling with the medication and side-effects I've been given to help me sleep etc, she says I just need to keep taking them anyway. I'm struggling to be effective in my work because the medication (amitriptylene) just makes me exhausted all the time.

I feel very isolated but the one place I feel I can talk about what I'm going through - this place - is just met with scorn and derision by my wife. Very upsetting.

It's only just beginning to hit her that I can't go to movies and concerts with her any more. We struggle to find things in common that we both like to do to be honest, and that's going to be one less thing (or two fewer things) in the future.

My heart goes out to you. It seems so many people struggle with this issue. My mother is a psychologist for the VA and even though she councils veterans that have tinnitus she is completely unsympathetic. She, like your wife, defends the medical profession in general.

She thinks CBT will fix things for me and I'm just too negative.

She doesn't seem to believe me that her dogs barking at 95db in a frenzy sends pain and numbness through my face due to my pain hyperacusis.

She said something along the lines when I said clonazepam was doing nothing for my anxiety, even though it kept the tinnitus volume lower, that maybe I should try Valium or something instead to get "the nerve" to stop spasming and maybe I could handle it better. She clearly has no understanding of what tinnitus even is and whenever I say anything to her about her inaccuracies she goes on the defensive because I don't hold a PhD as she does.

My psychiatrist told me I couldn't go into benzo withdrawal syndrome because I only took clonazepam once a day. I told my mother there were countless stories to discredit this on the internet. She thinks anything I read on the internet is apparently bullshit and any medical professional is preaching the gospel.

 

[Mister Muso]

She thinks anything I read on the internet is apparently bullshit and any medical professional is preaching the gospel.

This!

If doctors were so smart about tinnitus, they'd have cured it by now surely?! I don't suggest using that line in an argument however!

 

[all to gain]

She thinks anything I read on the internet is apparently bullshit and any medical professional is preaching the gospel.

I reckon lots of GPs get a lot of their own information from the internet. Some GPs obviously don't use the internet enough though...