L along the way

L along the way

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  • L along the way
    (1) I've been listening to some early old school reggae songs, and i found it has a lot of soul in it, more than most modern music
    4Grace
    You have the correct mind set. Hope with time. Maybe in time. No bull. I know so many with blasting T that could not care less. No idea how.
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    L along the way
    But in the end.. that kind of a lifestyle is not wellbeing promoting. But for now.. it helps me to fall asleep, but indeed.. i hope for a better tomorrow, where i can just sleep easefully again
    L along the way
    About the mindset.. so well.. it fluctuates.. sometimes i just feel overwhelmed, and there is just the t pain and suffering, and i just want to be out of it. But it's also true that i keep inspiring myself every day with positive messages. I don't know.. it's contradiction, but there is both sides
    L along the way
    But it's true.. that without hope of it getting better.. this is no life. My only interest in life now is: wellbeing, to be able to feel comfortable in my own skin. All other things don't matter so much anymore. So yeah, i do keep telling myself.. plenty of rest, nature, distractions, day by day.. it can get better
    4Grace
    I'm not sure if I asked you this before. If you don't want to answer I understand. How old are you?
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    L along the way
    The knot for me though is.. i mean i can copy all kind of wise words.. but to keep it real.. we/i just want to live a life which is.. easeful.. pleasant.. sense of wellbeing.. so well.. words of inspiring teachings.. if it's not my own real experience.. what is it really worth (for me). And that's also the difficulty with painful t..
    L along the way
    I've always been interested in philosophy and nature.. but the difficulty is.. how can we find a way of wellbeing, when there is painful t.. damaged nerves.. i haven't found an answer yet. Other than, repeating.. hope with time & healthy lifestyle, positive inspiration. But i don't know, it has been very harsh.
    L along the way
    May Good God the mystery help us... finding strength & calmth & wellbeing.. some day.. some day.. going day by day... pffft.. for now it's just bad.. i appreciate you and all your sharings, it truly means a lot to me. Please wellbeing & calm with time dear life
    SumGuy
    How are you doing friend?
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    L along the way
    Ended up with drinking booze... just to numb myself.. uff.. man.. it feels like such a struggle. I am inspired by encouraging words of hope, inspiration, patience, endurance.. but sometimes.. it's just too much, and i just wish to be out of it.. just wish it all would end..
    L along the way
    It's a crazy rollercoaster, because i feel the t pain, but also thoughts like 'why is life so unfair', why it is this way, how can i deal/bear/endure this, etc. somehow i hope and intent things can calm down.. well and during the day.. i go for nature walks, but i also started playing more pc games in my free time.. just to distract and find some relaxation in that..
    L along the way
    Pfft... the weather is nice.. but i feel a little hangover from yesterday.. i hope & pray for ease of mind, calmth. Trying to not get stagnant on the negative thoughts.. but i do fear it comes again, because this has been a pattern for a while.. but yeah.. i just try to not stick to it, and feel it's a new day. How are you doing bro?
    L along the way
    (7) i tried accepting, but the t stressor input seems too much for that. So yeah i don't really know..alright new day. Hope, faith, good day
    L along the way
    (4) but it didn't actually work for long.. because it was too loud, screaming and bothersome. I drank alcohol, and that helped me to sleep
    4Grace
    Appreciate what helps you my friend. I would medicate if I could. I don't want to encourage drinking but I so wish I could have a drink. Better than meds if it helps you sleep.
    L along the way
    (3) which it is not.. but somehow i try to find ways of enduring or even accepting it for now (don't look into the future too much)
    L along the way
    (2) but maybe that helps to accept/endure.. to admit to myself.. silence isn't there in the moment, it's t.. so that is my form of silence
    L along the way
    (1) This may sound strange, and i don't know if it works.. but i said to myself.. okay so silence equals t for me now, that's my sad reality
    L along the way
    Besides that, i'm repeating, but hope these damaged nerves can actually heal with time. Hope, faith, time, going day to day
    L along the way
    My sleeping strategy would be.. there is (heavy) t.. but trying to not hold onto thoughts around it.. it's not so simple, but it's my intent
    L along the way
    I try to find ways to let my mind unwind.. i would say to myself.. let my mind be still, that only the t can be heard..
    L along the way
    But when there is just t.. it automatically feels like "not a nice place to land".. it's starts a thinking mechanism. That thinking mechanism i wanna deflate. But still.. the pure sensation of the t.. ufff my auditory nerves feels damaged and stressed, it's hard to endure, especially when i can't fall asleep because of it. Sometimes i use sleeping meds, which help for now
    L along the way
    With this situation.. the most difficult part i find falling asleep. My ears just hurt. For now, i sometimes use sleeping meds
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