Juliane

Juliane

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  • Juliane
    I am so scared of the future. Crying and faking my way through each day. Terrified this is it for me
    Juliane
    Waking up from terrible nightmares during the night. Its like I have PTSD
    cyberspace
    When I go to the same places as when my tinnitus first worsened and I was at peak suicidality, my heart starts to race and I become dizzy and actively try to avoid the area/block out the thoughts. Seems like some sort of trauma response caused by tinnitus for sure
    Juliane
    The new sound in my head is not fading, on the contrary. I am terrified. I can't do this. It is so horrible
    L along the way
    Sorry to hear.. when I come here it's all so recognizable here.. been through so much.. and the t.. pffft.. but well.. trying to distract myself a bit.. rest a lot (taking supplements also for calm) and to have faith things may get better some day..
    Juliane
    Thank you for the supportive words @L along the way Hoping for better times ahead for both of us. This is the most crushing experience in my life and I worry that I will not make it. Support from family and friends is very limited. I guess they have no idea that tinnitus can be as bad as getting cancer and the like. Just cause it does not kill us, people seem to care less
    Juliane
    Off topic: so sad that Matthew Perry is gone :-( RIP FRIEND
    4Grace
    That poor soul suffered. I met him briefly at a club once. Many moons ago.
    Juliane
    Oh did you really? Would have loved to have met him. Yes he did seem to suffer a lot. Like many kind sensitive people do unfortunately
    4Grace
    I was watching the show with my wife, girlfriend at the time. It was something to see back then. Probably immature but I walked next to him and said I love your work. Just wanted to say something, best I could come up with at the time. Wow that brings back memories.
    Juliane
    Love to everyone here ❤️ If this condition has taught me anything it is that we human beings are nothing without each other
    Juliane
    Dear God. Please take away tinnitus and hyperacusis from all in this community. Please bless us with health in ears and heads. Amen
    Blix M. Paraglot
    I'm not sure what I believe in, probably nothing much anymore, to be honest. But thank you for caring enough to pray. I am trying to hang on for as long as I can.
    Juliane
    My new T sound is making me terrified
    View previous comments…
    RunningMan
    I know the feeling. I have a new chirping/beeping tone in my left ear for a week or so. It's not continuous, but it occurs frequently and increases anxiety, which was bad enough as it was.
    Juliane
    @RunningMan Why are we getting new sounds? I don't understand any of this
    RunningMan
    Medication? Noise exposure? I don't know. I just hope it eases and/or my brain can get used to it. I try to protect ears within reason like using ear protection when mowing and using a blender since I already have moderate hearing loss across the scale, especially over 8 Khz.
    Juliane
    I can't continue. This life is utter hell. Not worth it. It's a cruel joke at this stage
    gameover
    It sucks. I cried a lot last night and this morning. Collected myself some later. I need to keep trying. Please keep trying as well.
    Juliane
    It's like I am finally giving up after hoping so long that things would get better. And then they get worse. I just can't
    Juliane
    Juliane
    Sometimes I seriously wonder if I'm cursed. If it's a real thing. Sure seems that way
    View previous comments…
    gameover
    @Juliane. But one thing about you is you had T before and it wasn't without impact. Took you crazy long time to recover (7 years IIRC). But you did. Is the new T is so much louder than the first?
    Juliane
    @gameover Yes correct. My worsened T is so much more terrifying because it is louder, changes and is highly reactive. All sound including normal conversation makes it worse. It is life shattering
    Juliane
    While my previous T could spike and make life hell too, I realize now that it was much more stable (the same tone/sound through 20 years or so) and ONLY spiked from parties, concerts etc. With my new T I cannot even visit family and have dinner without spiking. It is much worse :-(
    Juliane
    HELP
    4Grace
    @Juliane - My God what is happening to us. This is insane. 100 percent due to coke. Sugar. That should come down. Drink water. You have been staying in. I have read more about this in last few days then ever before. If you protect there is still a chance for you. Honest.
    Juliane
    @4Grace You are so kind. I may not have been protecting as much as you think. I watch tv. Go for walks (protected). I honestly have no idea how to behave. I am as lost as anyone
    4Grace
    Thank you but I have not been so kind to my family. I carry that guilt everyday and it's hard to change under this pressure. Going for walks protecting is protecting. Watching TV on low volume is being careful. I am assuming no additional massive noise traumas. If not you are on your way. I really believe that.. just time.
    Juliane
    So so scared. Will not be able to cope with this sound
    4Grace
    If it helps I am locked in my room for the first time. Sound is deafening. I'm pacing all day. Hang on. You have committed to no exposures. If I had did what you did I would have been better by now. You need time. You have what it takes. Much more then I do.
    Juliane
    Thinking of you ❤️ I can honestly feel life energy slipping away
    Juliane
    I drank a lot of Coca-Cola during my sickness as it tends to calm the stomach. Could that be the reason for my new horrible T sound?
    Juliane
    I now have a new T sound! Came after 3 days of stomach flu. What is happening? I can't do this, I just can't. WHY
    Juliane
    All I want is for my tinnitus to go away. It's ALL I care about. Since that is not possible why even bother with anything else
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I know the feeling. I dont want it to be all I care about. There are so many other things I want to care about. It feels impossible to shift my focus for any amount of time.
    S
    I would take my old T level back in an instant! Don't even want silence at this point just something way more manageable that doesn't turn my stomach at the mere sound and actions of it.
    Juliane
    This condition makes me feel like my soul is freezing. If there is no after-life and this is what we have to deal with I feel so cheated...
    crescentsky
    I think after this tinnitus experience, I don't ever want to be human again lol. I feel so traumatized. I think about this sometimes and it terrifies that if there is after-life, that this sound will continue to haunt me.
    Juliane
    Juliane
    Anyone else feeling our world is in a really dark place in general or is T making me think so?
    Juliane
    So tired of having to explain to friends why meeting up in larger groups is problematic for me. Honestly they can just f... off
    Juliane
    I think us T and H sufferers are just too sensitive and fragile for this mad and stupid noisy world. I am not built for that shite
    Juliane
    Will self-isolate and hibernate until spring. I'll be a bear.
    GG_Ear
    I'm just praying for improvement by Christmas, so I can be with family.
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