Be Honest. Do You Still Enjoy Life?

[Utdmad89]

When I first got tinnitus, I clung to the "fake it till you make it" mantra. I tried to convince myself that things would turn around, that someday, the constant ringing in my ears would just fade into the background because no one could live this way. I was so desperate that I even volunteered for one of those early clinical trials for tinnitus drugs, crossing my fingers for a breakthrough. But nothing came from it.

My hyperacusis was brutal, practically chaining me to my home. Every conversation with loved ones felt like an ordeal, triggering a painful burning sensation and a sense of fullness in my ears. It was a daily struggle, with each day feeling like a marathon, just trying to make it through, along with a host of other tinnitus-related issues.

Over the years, I faced my fair share of setbacks and wrestled with other health issues that nearly robbed me of my mobility. It took me years to regain even a fraction of the independence I once had.

I was suicidal for a few periods in my life. In those moments, I just pushed myself for one more day, then again the next day, and the day after that. I'm still healing from the trauma that tinnitus and other issues had on me with the help of medicines and therapy. I'm slightly surprised I'm still here ten years later, posting on Tinnitus Talk.

There is a quote by the late Cormac McCarthy that resonates deeply with me: "Keep a little fire burning; however small, however, hidden." Many will be surprised by where they are and how much joy is still possible in life, given enough time. Find out what your fire is, and make sure to kindle it; refuse to let it die out.

Despite all the BS that happened and the pain and trauma, there were moments of pure magic. I pushed myself to live—to travel, to hang out at bars, to soak up time with family, to fall in and out of love, and yes, even to attend events with loud live music (with trusty earplugs always on standby). Sure, looking back, some of my choices probably made my tinnitus worse, but I don't regret a single one.

How old are you? And how are you doing now? Do you still have pain hyperacusis? Did you do all the loud stuff with hyperacusis?

 

[weehiru]

I'm trying to despite it all. I really, really am. Stubborn determination. Delusional positivity even. Feeding my brain with success stories from people worse off than me to reassure myself that this isn't how it will be for the rest of my life. I'm only barely two months in at this point...

I'm losing my composure, though. All of this doesn't feel real. It's like I've been in a bad dream these past weeks. I quite literally have manifested one of my biggest fears with my oversight as to why I'm left with tinnitus now. Going deaf was my first, and being left with tinnitus was my 2nd. I knew about tinnitus. Yet I let this happen. I hate myself for this.

I don't know how my Audiologist looked into my eyes and sincerely said that my life wouldn't be impacted dramatically by all of this. It has. Every single thing in my life has been impacted in some way by this. "There's nothing we can do. You'll learn to ignore it," and sent me on my way. No guidance on how. No follow-up. Nothing. Every time I explain to people its impact, it's undermined as "just ringing" or "just anxiety." At this point, it's not even the ringing that has messed me up the most; it's everyone else affected by it. Friendships, music, eating, sleep, my personality, how I used to calm myself down. No one, except for sufferers on boards such as this one, seems to understand or even want to understand. And that's what's so isolating in all of this. No one gives this condition the time of day to realize its impact except for those who are truly in the pits of it now. I now understand the frustration that is voiced here of how no one does give two shits. Being treated like I am overdramatic about this by people who don't have to listen to this 24/7 adds insult to injury. Man.

Right now, no. I'm not enjoying life. Fuck no. How can I? Every time I try to, I'm brought back in with this. I'm trying not to let myself stay in this negative psyche for my own sake and keeping myself sane with distraction... But I miss silence & solitude so much. I'm grieving it. But I want to enjoy life again. That's enough for me to put all the effort I can muster into achieving that.

 

[cullenbohannon]

How old are you? And how are you doing now? Do you still have pain hyperacusis? Did you do all the loud stuff with hyperacusis?

I am 34 now and generally doing well. I did not do much when I was suffering from hyperacusis. My hyperacusis very rarely acts up anymore, luckily. Still, when I have hyperacusis flare-ups, I don't do much besides try to rest and slowly build tolerance to sounds/frequencies that make me uncomfortable. It took a while to get to a place where I don't really have setbacks with hyperacusis.

 

[Travis Henry]

Nope. I didn't have a chance to attempt to keep enjoying life with tinnitus because mild whiners are the ones who make the protocols and "treatments" for tinnitus and hyperacusis. They call people who tell the truth about how bad this shit can be fearmongers. They downplay these afflictions. This shit 100% should be taken seriously as a suicide-inducing affliction. Damage control should be the number one priority, not sound therapy or TRT.

Frigging mild assholes claiming they're severe get natural remission and say TRT or medications worked for them, so they push everyone that has actual damage to the grave. There is blood on their hands, I tell you. Anxiety asshats.

 

[MisterSchu]

I struggled a lot with my tinnitus, but I managed to get back to an enjoyable life with my wife and my daughter.

Of course, there are periods (days, sometimes weeks, or even months) when it's harder than usual, but I know that there will already be a way back to joy and happiness in life.

 

[Pinhead]

Three years into this, I'm still not enjoying life. Each ear squeals and shrieks because of fans, air conditioners, and cars passing by. Birds chirping pierce directly into my skull. This is the end.

 

[snizzleberry]

Of course I still enjoy life. We only live once. I have to live it up to the fullest, even with this terrible condition. I still go to the gym, work, hang with friends, go to theme parks, and go out to eat. I stopped DJing, going to the club and raves for now, though, sadly. Maybe one day I'll go back. But I have to heal my hyperacusis and tinnitus first.