Today was the first day I felt all that and actually noticed the change (it's been a soul destroying few months but I won't go into it)
Oh no, I am so sorry to hear this, Jcb. If it is any help at all, please know that you had company, even though you didn't know it. I found myself in a distressed state this past summer, also.
I hope that you being here today means that you are in a better place. One day at a a time, Jcb.