Don’t Know If I Can Keep Going

[just1morething]

@TracyJS, Sometimes hearing aids help and possibly gabapentin plus clonazepam. I'm in the Midwest too. Maybe you should talk to someone here by Skype or other means? Tinnitus can definitely cause a lot of stress especially if you had prior panic, anxiety symptoms. I hope you can find some relief. I'm still struggling too, especially when stressed.

 

[DebInAustralia]

@Starthrower
I don't know that I'm going to make it.
I must be weak, not strong like others.
I need to find someone to care for Riley.
There's just too much.

I didnt think I was going to *make it* either 5 years ago.

I couldnt (wouldnt) imagine a life with t. I remember thinking, if I cant get rid of this noise, then I was going to check out.

A rollercoaster to get where I am now, but nevertheless, my life is largely back to *normal*.

And, here I am to reassure you that, whilst I still have t, I no longer feel as though my life has been destroyed.

Id be happy to support you in skype if you would like, or continue to text you here.

You have a lot of people here, who love and care about you; myself included. I want you to know that you arent alone.

It is threads like this that make me feel proud of our community. I have witnessed so much humanity and kindness.

Keep reaching out to us. Trust those who have habituated. I know it seems impossible right now, but your brain will adapt eventually.

You are going to get through this. Were all here for you.

 

[just1morething]

@TracyJS, A big Maine Coon cat hug to you and Riley. Fluffy lion showed up about 6 years ago. Their loss was our gain.

 

[TracyJS]

@TracyJS, A big Maine Coon cat hug to you and Riley. Fluffy lion showed up about 6 years ago. Their loss was our gain.

View attachment 20822

What a beautiful cat. Thank you for the hug!

 

[TracyJS]

I didnt think I was going to *make it* either 5 years ago.

I couldnt (wouldnt) imagine a life with t. I remember thinking, if I cant get rid of this noise, then I was going to check out.

A rollercoaster to get where I am now, but nevertheless, my life is largely back to *normal*.

And, here I am to reassure you that, whilst I still have t, I no longer feel as though my life has been destroyed.

Id be happy to support you in skype if you would like, or continue to text you here.

You have a lot of people here, who love and care about you; myself included. I want you to know that you arent alone.

It is threads like this that make me feel proud of our community. I have witnessed so much humanity and kindness.

Keep reaching out to us. Trust those who have habituated. I know it seems impossible right now, but your brain will adapt eventually.

You are going to get through this. Were all here for you.

Thank you @DebinAustralia for your care and support. ❤️
I find it hard to imagine my brain will eventually adapt, but I'm trying to hold on until it does.

 

[TLion]

Tracy, you WILL adapt. There will be better times. Hold on. We're all here for you.

 

[Jazzer]

Dear Tracy - I'm having some really tough times lately, and I keep thinking of you, and your struggles babe.
Strangely enough, however hard my day is, whenever one of my precious pussycats comes up to me I always say 'hello sweetheart' to them, and I feel a bit better.
They work like a charm.
I notice you keep saying that you are not looking after Riley properly, and need to find her another home.
Excuse my asking Trace, but doesn't her company and her love for you help you?
I just wish you could find the same comfort that my babies give me.
Dave xx

 

[TracyJS]

Dear Tracy - I'm having some really tough times lately, and I keep thinking of you, and your struggles babe.
Strangely enough, however hard my day is, whenever one of my precious pussycats comes up to me I always say 'hello sweetheart' to them, and I feel a bit better.
They work like a charm.
I notice you keep saying that you are not looking after Riley properly, and need to find her another home.
Excuse my asking Trace, but doesn't her company and her love for you help you?
I just wish you could find the same comfort that my babies give me.
Dave xx

I'm sorry you are having some really rough times Jazzer.
Yes, Loving Riley helps some.

 

[JohnAdams]

@Jazzer
Ok, I'm sorry...I don't mean to upset anyone.

this is why we are all hear. this is a support community. we are all brothers and sisters in this. you can go on. be strong. I sincerely believe a cure is coming, soon.

 

[TracyJS]

This is off topic a bit, but I could use some advice.

I've been taking Ambien for 2-3 weeks for sleep. It does not help that much, but helps a little. Do I need to taper the drug or can I just stop using it?
Also, since my anxiety has been so high I've taken Ativan (lorazepam) low dose for the past 5 days. Do I need to taper or can I just discontinue.

Could taking the Ambien have made my tinnitus worse?

 

[JohnAdams]

This is off topic a bit, but I could use some advice.

I've been taking Ambien for 2-3 weeks for sleep. It does not help that much, but helps a little. Do I need to taper the drug or can I just stop using it?
Also, since my anxiety has been so high I've taken Ativan (lorazepam) low dose for the past 5 days. Do I need to taper or can I just discontinue.

Could taking the Ambien have made my tinnitus worse?

i'd taper it off and quit it. my sure fire trick to sleeping is exercising every evening and then taking a couple or 3 shots of vodka and then eating. it drags my ass off to sleep every time.

 

[TracyJS]

My anxiety is really extreme today. I can't go on like this. I feel like I have made so many mistakes. Maybe I never should have taken medication. I don't know anymore. I'm so confused. And scared. So so scared.
Every day can't be like this anymore.

 

[Wolfears]

My anxiety is really extreme today. I can't go on like this. I feel like I have made so many mistakes. Maybe I never should have taken medication. I don't know anymore. I'm so confused. And scared. So so scared.
Every day can't be like this anymore.

Hi Tracy...just wondering if you tried any of the residual inhibition (listening back to your own main frequency)..
For me it was one of the turning points, as I realized that yes I can actually make this satanic bastard go away for a bit....if you didn't yet, you should try it.

 

[TracyJS]

Hi Tracy...just wondering if you tried any of the residual inhibition (listening back to your own main frequency)..
For me it was one of the turning points, as I realized that yes I can actually make this satanic bastard go away for a bit....if you didn't yet, you should try it.

I've tried it. It did not seem to work. I don't know if I did it right.

 

[Starthrower]

I've been taking Ambien for 2-3 weeks for sleep. It does not help that much, but helps a little. Do I need to taper the drug or can I just stop using it?
Also, since my anxiety has been so high I've taken Ativan (lorazepam) low dose for the past 5 days. Do I need to taper or can I just discontinue.

@TracyJS talk with your prescribing doctor about the medications. Personally, Ambien was kinda strange. That medication seemed to help maybe a little, just like you described, but it also seemed to stop any deep sleep stage. There should not be a problem not taking it now.

Your doctor prescribed the anxiety medication for a reason. I would stick to that for at least one month on the directions provided by your doctor. I found that the generic Xanax was a better short term anxiety med that helped lower the tinnitus sounds that were screeching. Talk with your doctor about this.

Your anxiety needs the proper medication and follow the directions carefully. That is what I did. Once that anxiety was lessened I could then start other therapies that would help me get my life back.

Could taking the Ambien have made my tinnitus worse?

I didn't find that to be the case for me. I only tried it for a few weeks also. The sensation of louder tinnitus was from the lack of sleep and increased anxiety over the tinnitus change.

My anxiety is really extreme today. I can't go on like this. I feel like I have made so many mistakes. Maybe I never should have taken medication. I don't know anymore. I'm so confused. And scared. So so scared.
Every day can't be like this anymore.

Don't be confused over the differences of opinions. Trust your gut feeling and my own experience with needing medication to help me in the first six months.

You will get your life back and that weird darkness...it will start to lighten up for you.

It IS possible. I would not be here today to tell you this.

Thinking of you....

 

[Wolfears]

I've tried it. It did not seem to work. I don't know if I did it right.

If that is the case, maybe it would be worth trying it again?
Just find any online tone generator..most will let you punch in specific numbers.
Start at 6000 hz and go up in 500 hz increments.
Set the volume at slightly higher than your T volume.

Each time, listen for about 10 seconds and then plug your ears...
At some point (probably close to 8000-9000 hz) you should notice, that the sound from you T has gone away...then you can zero in better by lowering the increments and playing around a bit.

You will know that you have the right frequency, when yout T goes away for the longest time.

 

[Jazzer]

@TracyJS
Hi babe.
I know - I know - I know sweetheart.
I'm having a day from hell myself.
I feel like I'm suffering with you.

My 'T' was raging.
Eventually I realised that I actually had a raging headache.
I took a paracetamol and my head feels a little bit easier now.
I so wish I had a better answer for you Trace.
Please stay in touch,
take care,
Love you
Always will
Dave xx

 

[glynis]

@Jazzer,
Sorry to hear your having a tough time lately, my ears our out to get me too!
Glad I made you laugh on a group pm .
Mason and Molly sure a great comfort to me and could listen to Mason's pur all day .
love glynis

 

[glynis]

@TracyJS,
Concentrate on your breathing in bed placing a hand on your stomach for deep breathing as will help and in the day when need slow your breathing.
See your doctor about your medication if not helping a lot so knows how your doing.
Love glynis x

 

[Manny]

If that is the case, maybe it would be worth trying it again?
Just find any online tone generator..most will let you punch in specific numbers.
Start at 6000 hz and go up in 500 hz increments.
Set the volume at slightly higher than your T volume.

Each time, listen for about 10 seconds and then plug your ears...
At some point (probably close to 8000-9000 hz) you should notice, that the sound from you T has gone away...then you can zero in better by lowering the increments and playing around a bit.

You will know that you have the right frequency, when yout T goes away for the longest time.

@TracyJS you could also try generalfuzz's ACRN tool, generalfuzz.net/acrn This kind gentleman created this free tool similar to the Tinnitus Clinic's $5000 thing. I use it a lot, it helps take off the edge sometimes. Seems ACRN is of some value to some people.
You have my utmost sympathies. Sending you support and good vibes. May we all be cured soon.

 

[Ed209]

Much love to you @TracyJS. I still remember those early days and all I can offer you is further reassurance that it really does get better. Try not to let your thoughts spiral out of control because our emotions really are linked with how we perceive our T.

You've got an entire board here to lean on; you are not alone. Your fight is our fight, so hang in there.

 

[Manny]

You've got an entire board here to lean on; you are not alone. Your fight is our fight, so hang in there

What a beautiful statement. Much respect Ed.
In terms of people who truly understand this hell I think all we really have is each other.
And of course this was directed at TracyJS but I'm gonna take it for myself too.

 

[TracyJS]

I've moved into the closet today. I can't face the day with the noise. The anxiety is too much. The loss is too much.

 

[just1morething]

@TracyJS, I understand as my noise can be unbearable also. It is crazy loud atm. I seen you listed your cause as possible TMJ. Here is someone I may see for TMJ injections with prolotherapy:

Dale,
I hope you will be able to read more about Prolotherapy on our website (www.drmarkwheaton.com).
https://www.caringmedical.com/prolotherapy-news/temporomandibular-joint-syndrome/
http://www.getprolo.com/prolotherapy-treatments-for-tinnitus/


I will give you an Estimate for what to expect.
Prolotherapy has never been covered by insurance in the past. It is considered alternative, holistic and even experimental. Dr. Wheaton has been doing Prolotherapy for over 21 years now with great results.
Initial consultation/office visit $199 and Prolotherapy on neck $364 = $563 or both TMJ $214= $413
Each follow up visit will be $89 and Prolotherapy on neck $364 = $453 or both TMJ $214 = $303

How chronic the injury determines how many treatments Dr. Wheaton recommends. However, the typical recommendation is 4-6 treatments but again it depends on the individual case.
Total invoice could be more or less depending on what Dr. Wheaton recommends at that time.
For example if Dr. Wheaton recommends 2 or more joints, those joints will be added but at 25% off.
A 5% discount is given for cash/check.
We do accept Health Savings Accounts (HSA) and Flexible Spending Accounts (FSA). If you use a HSA or a FSA credit card we can not offer 5% discount due to credit card fees. However, HSA/FSA checks will have a 5% discount applied.
Payment is due day of service.
Please expect 60-90 minutes for the first appointment / initial consultation. You may be treated at that time.
We can give you a letter to self-submit to your insurance for reimbursement of initial and follow-up visits charged. What is actually reimbursed depends on your agreement with your insurance, deductible and co-pays.
If you have any other questions then please give us a call. We would be happy to help you schedule an appointment.
Thank you, gina
Lakeside Sports & Pain Clinic
21920 Minnetonka Blvd.
Excelsior, MN 55331
952-593-0500
952-593-4500 (fax)
info@drmarkwheaton.com
Menahga office # - 218-564-4200

 

[Michael Leigh]

I've moved into the closet today. I can't face the day with the noise. The anxiety is too much. The loss is too much.

I am very sorry to hear know that you are feeling so unwell TracyJS and hope that you are able to get some help soon in the form of medication from your doctor or help from being admitted into hospital where you are likely to get a higher standard of care that you might need.

My following comments are to address those that are against the taking of medication for tinnitus and the harm that their posts can do to people that read them saying medications such as antidepressants are toxic and make tinnitus worse which is definitely not the case in the majority of cases. If the tinnitus should increase it is usually temporary. The truth of the matters this: When tinnitus is severe and unrelenting it can affect a person's mental wellbeing considerably and put them in a very dark place. Someone that is in such a distressed state with their tinnitus the last thing they want to be reading is adverse comments about tinnitus. The only help for tinnitus when it is severe is: Sound therapy, counselling, relaxation therapy and medication. Medication helps a person moods so they do not become too down and can act as a safety net. I wish some of the people in this forum would stick to talking about tinnitus and leave medications to the doctors to discuss with their tinnitus patients as they are the medical professionals.

I have always said that doctors know about the anatomy of the ear and are able to treat it medically or surgically and any underlying medical problems associated with it that may cause tinnitus and I believe they do this well. However, tinnitus that wasn't caused by an underlying medical problem alas, most doctors have limited understanding of it and the way it can affect a person, hence the reason for tinnitus forums. When it comes to medications such as antidepressants, and some benzodiazepines; properly managed by a patient's doctor they can help tinnitus and improve a person's quality of life considerably. Contrary to what some people believe these medications do not necessarily have to be taken long term. The result of not taking medication can mean admittance into hospital, if the tinnitus becomes too severe for a person to cope with on their own.

Michael

PS: Please leave medicines to the doctors to discuss with their patients. There are too many fireside quacks in tinnitus forums, that do far more harm than good. Often frightening the life out of people with their posts and this doesn't help at all.

 

[TLion]

If I had not taken medication for my anxiety and depression which was Tinnitus related i wouldn't have recovered. Medication is important and the people who tell that no medication should be taken in case of Tinnitus underestimate the amplification of everything through depression and anxiety.

 

[John CC]

Hi Tracy I regret to inform you but the best person to take care of Riley is you. The closet is not the place for you either. I know that you are in a dark place, with noise, noise, noise that feels inescapable. There are, as hard as it is to see, possibilites that can help you live with this as many others have as well, and they are there for you to see. There are helplines, and I believe there are even therapists that help many people with T. Fishbone is truely inspirational in how he has managed to accept it, among many others. When it gets darkest, there are helplines for you to call, talking to a human is very human. You always have this forum as well. The darkness you see is something you can see through, by just talking to a human allows you to get it out, allows you to scream at the world, and then to hold Riley. Crying is allowed by-the-way, and actually it is a good way to get out your emotions.

I am new to this world that no one wants to live in, and some of the most important things I have found is to have hope and believe in your future. One of the biggest challenges to hope is anxiety, being upset is anxieties right hand, and it's left hand is focusing on the one thing that is bad. As you focus on what is bad, your anxiety levels skyrocket and you feed your anxiety which feeds it's twin depression, which inturn gives your T power over you. You can take away its power and give it back to you. By focusing and looking at it, you make it bigger, you make it smaller by not looking at in. I know this is hard, it was for me, so start to look at Riley, send me a response and tell me one person or thing that makes you smile. It can be yours again, but you have to look at it. I know it is easier said than done, but you can. I believe in you, so does Riley, and so does a part of you. You do actually believe in yourself, and that is why you have turned to this forum. You are just looking for a way out.

As with you I have been reading this site, and I find the human resolve to look away from anxiety, and then towards hope and see possibilities is amazing. For all of them, and me, the first couple of months were the hardest. Nowe they seem to have accepted it, learned to look past it , and now have the lives they deserve. SO CAN YOU.

It is not that the noise moves with you, it is that you are focusing on it, empowering it. You have the strength for both you and Riley to look past the noise, take away it's power over you and give that power of life back to you. I believe in you, and I know you have the support of all those on this forum. So try as hard as you can to leave the closet, for both you and Riley, find that assistance and a way forward.

All my support, JohnCC

 

[TracyJS]

Riley has joined me in the closet.

 

[John CC]

Hi Tracy Me again. Glad to hear you have company, and that Riley is with you. I am also assuming that your computer is with you as well. So, can you tell me one part of you that you believe in? Is there a family member or friend you can talk to? If not, have you thought of working with a therapist that specializes in tinnitus, talking with someone who knows about this, and can get to know you, is really helpful. He or she can help as a guide to allow you to come back to see the light of hope.
JohnCC

 

[Jazzer]

Lovely post @John CC
full of important suggestions,
and best of all, love and hope.

When I am at my worst, my noisiest,
my most painful, I pick up my tiny
vulnerable little baby Annie in my
arms and whisper to her,

"I love you so much sweetheart
- Daddy's head hurts so much baby,
but I promise you this,
I will always be here to
look after you and to love you......"

It's a promise I make
to myself, and to Annie.
Love you Trace
xxx