So, I am 27 and had everything going for me. I was working a finance job, that I hated, but learned a lot about finance. I was doing Computer Science studies outside work. I was planning on quitting my job in a year finally and finishing my degree full time. Except I had a few issues. I had a digestive issue that is incurable and required me to take pills for rest of my life (no, don't claim you have other options, I dont. Trust me, I have looked into this far longer than I need to discuss here).
Then, I got a noisy neighbor last month. Well, luckily I was moving this month and have moved. But, to drown him out I put earplugs in a played loud headphone music. Well, this has now lead to me losing hearing and getting the ringing.
I went to a doctor, who told me nothing could be done and I could see an ENT to get hearing test done but that is about it. Well, turns out they could have helped me but now its too late (with prednison).
Well, got my hearing test done now 5 weeks later, and I have lost hearing. 40db at 8khz and 30db at 6 and 4khz in one ear. Other ear is fine.
Well, long of the short, don't see the point anymore. I had physical issues before this happened, but at least I had my mental ability.
Now, I can't even have that. I can't do my job, I can't study, I can't really sleep, and can't function. I'm probably going to lose my job soon because I'm not being productive.
Anyhow, I semi have lost the will or need to live anymore. I had my physical abilities taken away from me 3 years ago with the digestive issue. Now, I have taken the last asset I had, which was my brain.
I looked up hearing loss and cognitive ability and found that it does affect peoples intelligence. and cognition. It can effect how people learn and higher order functions as the brain adapts to the hearing loss. Also, dementia seems to set in sooner too.
Overall, I see no point to this suffering anymore. I had issues before this, but I really think this is the last straw.
If all I had was the ringing in my ear, then I would try to continue. However, the hearing loss is the last straw for me I feel.
I don't think I can continue like this. Don't know much else to say about this. If someone wants to chime in if you have HEARING LOSS measured and TINNITUS, I will hear some out. But, overall, I don't think this life is worth it anymore. It's sad to say that, but I think it is true.
Sorry to hear you're having such a terrible time with life.
You're only 27, and you have a lot of life ahead of you probably, regardless of that digestive issue. Trust me when I say that I've felt very similar before, emotionally. I used to have very terrible anxiety issues about my eyesight, hearing, and what was going on with my heart. I only took one medication when it was really, really bad for about three months. That medication taught me that things are 'okay', and that I'm not dying. Let me tell you, though, besides that, I've come to realize that these types of medications are things doctors will try and reel you in on forever.
There's so many things you can do to alleviate anxiety, stress, and depression that don't involve medications, it's ridiculous. In the modern world, however, this fact is overwritten in most peoples' brains from their doctor claiming it's never curable, or that pills are the only sure way to fix it. So they just live out their lives taking a drug that's, 99% of the time, not even necessary, just riding that infamous train so many people ride on.
I'd suggest just not entirely trusting when a doctor says that medication is the
only solvent for your issue. Pharmaceutical companies want money, and they get a lot of money,
lots of it. This is in part due to what I said about doctors telling you what you were told, as well as people not taking care of themselves at all, then taking medications until they die from a disease (most of the time).
I would also advise against reading simple articles online and taking one or two peoples' words for a specific issue like this. Like someone else said, you're essentially just digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole doing this. I would at most, read studies that have been done on your issue, and checking who carried them out.
I'm not saying not to trust doctors, but the world is based around making money, and that dictates how public facilities like most hospitals operate. The world is like, in this weird riptide where the government seems to be holding off realizing what's actually going on, just so they can make as much money as possible before stuff seriously goes wrong because of it.
I know friends that got CS degrees by the way, and are making quite a nice salary, so if you do follow through with that, you will be living comfortably.
You need to start viewing life as an opportunity, and not allowing a doctor, and some online findings dictate if you're going to end your life or not. Start eating more plentiful foods if you aren't already. I'm serious, I can't recommend this enough if you're feeling like crap mentally. I stopped eating most processed things, cut out junk food, stopped drinking soda-pop for the most part, and just smartened up. I did this in succession with walking everyday and eventually running/hiking. Years later, I feel way, _way_ better than I used to. I look back and think that if I chose to end my life over something like that, it'd of been an indefinite waste.
Just take everything step-by-step. The world is your oyster, no matter what anyone says about it, period.