@TracyJS ,
@emmalee ,
@Manny
- do you mind if I join you guys.
I absolutely love reading all of your posts,
so full of the most beautiful loving kindness.
I suffer so much, as I know we all do.
Reading connections like these often reduces me to tears. I start to well up inside.
When I was a child I never found my source of love.
My mother was mentally ill, so bonding was not possible for me.
I suffered such sadness and crushing isolation.
It lasted for ever - until I had therapy at about age 30.
If I had to condence my entire childhood into one sentence, it would be:
"There is no love."
When I encounter any love now, even at my age, a handful of ordinary kind words can bring me close to tears.
Because my mother never ever came for me when I cried, the experience of unexpected kindness now feels like:
"Is this my mum - has she really come back for me this time?"
Please forgive me - I had no intention of gatecrashing your lovely conversation, except to say that, I wouldn't mind betting that I'm not the only one here to have suffered the pain and terror of extreme isolation.
Well we have all found some love now.
A silly thought now - not possible of course - but I so wish this little group of people could just meet up, and have a beautiful arms all round cuddle.
I'd want to hang on there for ever.
Sorry if I sound so wet.
I love you all so much.
Thank you for being beautiful people,
Dave xxx
PS - 2:30am and I'm just back from a long distance gig.....g'night folks x