Feeling So Very Sad and Hopeless
- Thread starter TracyJS
- Start date
Member
Thank you for responding and for sharing with me your struggle with this terrible condition.You guys are making me want a cat. We did have one many years ago, he was so lovely i miss him a lot.
@TracyJS
Hi, Tracy,
Im sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. We are hear to listen too you, i feel like this place is better than a councillor or a doctor, we are all here to help each other and sometimes just talking to people about how your feeling is really beneficial. It is a terrible condition it will bring most people to their knees no matter how much they seem to cope with it. Im feeling a lot better now after nearly 6 months but im still all over the place really from day to day. Im up and down several times a day at the moment from feeling ok, getting better and better to feeling like im getting nowhere and i dont know how im going to go on. My mum asks me how im feeling and i must seem like a schizophrenic, one day im like yeah its getting much better im feeling good its going to go away, then the next day im there with my head on table just in despair again. It really all just boils down to how much fight i have in me that day, which i cant pin point on any one thing in particular its just a mix of everything. Im sure that good regular sleep patterns is a big factor and trying to exercise in the day so that i'm tired when i go to bed. I found that my tinnitus got worse before it got better and that around 3 months is when the depression started to hit me quite badly. I just wanted to sleep all day to get away from it, i dont work anymore which im glad about but its left me twiddling my thumbs which is not ideal with this condition. Im trying to think positive at the moment, as much as i want to slip into a negative spiral as that seems like the natural way to go, i know that i must give myself the motivation to occupy myself, and keep feeling positive, if i don't i won't have any fight in me to give and the Tinnitus will win the battle. Stay strong and just treat each day as a battle to get through, once you know you can cope with one day from start to finish, you might start to feel better and not worry about how your going to do this so much. Hope you start to feel better soon.
Yes, it does seem like the battle is an up and down battle every day, for me mostly down than up. I'm glad to hear that 6 months in, things do seem better for you.
Thank you for your words of encouragement and support. I will hold them in mind as I battle this overwhelming condition. As you said, it can bring anyone to the knees. That's where I seem to be right now. But hearing from everyone helps to feels less alone.
Tracy
Hello again Tracy
There are so many of us trying to cope with this condition. My Hospital Tinnitus worker breezily told me that 90% of people are untroubled by their T. Well, I must be in the loser 10% because my T is very 'troubling' indeed.
It doesn't help at all when Clinical depression and anxiety are there too. I can sleep without noise enhancement, wake a lot though, but the mornings bring depression/anxiety and wondering how to get through another day.
I have a friend with hardly any hearing in one ear but she just seems to be able to ignore her T. I wish I could do that instead of thinking about it so much.
It's early days for you and there is every HOPE that you will struggle less with T.
It's not hopeless so hang on to that little four letter word.
Eve x
There are so many of us trying to cope with this condition. My Hospital Tinnitus worker breezily told me that 90% of people are untroubled by their T. Well, I must be in the loser 10% because my T is very 'troubling' indeed.
It doesn't help at all when Clinical depression and anxiety are there too. I can sleep without noise enhancement, wake a lot though, but the mornings bring depression/anxiety and wondering how to get through another day.
I have a friend with hardly any hearing in one ear but she just seems to be able to ignore her T. I wish I could do that instead of thinking about it so much.
It's early days for you and there is every HOPE that you will struggle less with T.
It's not hopeless so hang on to that little four letter word.
Eve x
@Nanny chocolate
Hello Eve,
Yes, I, too, am in that unlucky 10% category where it is deeply troubling and life affecting indeed.
And having depression and anxiety just makes it that much harder. I so understand how you feel about the mornings. I feel the same way: how will I manage another day.
I wish I could ignore it, too. It seems impossible when it can be so intrusive.
Thank you for your encouragement. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.
Tracy
Hello Eve,
Yes, I, too, am in that unlucky 10% category where it is deeply troubling and life affecting indeed.
And having depression and anxiety just makes it that much harder. I so understand how you feel about the mornings. I feel the same way: how will I manage another day.
I wish I could ignore it, too. It seems impossible when it can be so intrusive.
Thank you for your encouragement. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.
Tracy
i tend to agree that intrusive tinnitus is a completely different thing to regular tinnitus. Its just un forgiving and cruel. I had experienced what id call severe tinnitus for about a month, it was pretty much painful at night not just annoying and really distracting in the day time. This caused me enormous anxiety as i just had no idea what life was going to become, i was on edge the whole time which just took life as i knew it away from me. My tinnitus is noise induced and its only gone one way over the 6 months and that is better, slowly. (but that is only after it got worse around 4 weeks in) Im just saying this to give people hope that it can get much better but it does take time and everyones time will be different. Depression, anxiety and tinnitus go hand in hand and you must take steps to try to combat each part of it. I think most people would think their Tinnitus is gone if they had my tinnitus now but iv lost the ability to to let my hearing just do its thing im hyper aware of everything i'm hearing. I don't know what silence is anymore basically. I remember reading something i read on reddit from a guy many months ago who was offering some advice to someone and he just said 'forget it man, complete waste of your time' it made me laugh, cry and smile so much. His attitude is something i'm still trying to mimic but it just highlights how different we all are.
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If only it could be as simple as forgetting it!!
It won't let an awful lot of us do that.
Hope you continue to improve though John Paul.
Eve
It won't let an awful lot of us do that.
Hope you continue to improve though John Paul.
Eve
Have you tried masking your T if it gives you so much stress?
Sometimes, accepting the new normal and the necessary adjustments to come with this (such as masking T quite aggressively) will help us cope with T better, especially during the initial stage in our T journey.
I often quoted Dr. Ancill's earlier post on treating all these adjustments and masking as the new normal:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/curing-tinnitus.4136/page-5#post-40854
Yes, I use masking. I usually use crickets, birds, water sounds since T can be high pitched hissing. Unfortunately, at times those sounds also cause irritation and kind of hurt or bother my ears.
Hyperacusis, I think. It's like it aggravates it.
White noise aggravates, too.
So masking works sometimes.
- Mar 11, 2018
- 875
- Tinnitus Since
- 3/18
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Noise Induced Hearing Loss
@TracyJS
Is your t usually high pitched hissing? Has it always been that way? When I got mine it was the classic EEE, I have hearing loss. It is changes to hissing or static once or twice a day now for minutes to an hour or two.
I think it's hilarious you use crickets or birds to mask. Riley must love that! You should put the birds on and put the masker in the closet. That will keep Riley busy.
My favorite masking sounds are rain and streams.
Is your t usually high pitched hissing? Has it always been that way? When I got mine it was the classic EEE, I have hearing loss. It is changes to hissing or static once or twice a day now for minutes to an hour or two.
I think it's hilarious you use crickets or birds to mask. Riley must love that! You should put the birds on and put the masker in the closet. That will keep Riley busy.
My favorite masking sounds are rain and streams.
@New Guy
I have a couple of different sounds.
It started as intermittent hissing/buzzing/electrical zaps. It's like I had too much treble in my ears.
I also have a high single tone at times and a echo hum.
Mostly what troubles me is the high pitched hissing or buzzing. It can be loud and piercing in both ears.
I have mild high frequency hearing loss (between 6-8hz).
Riley doesn't seem to take much notice of the noise, which is strange. She likes to watch the birds visually, but not too interested in their sounds.
I use streams and rain when the hissing is a bit more moderate.
I have a couple of different sounds.
It started as intermittent hissing/buzzing/electrical zaps. It's like I had too much treble in my ears.
I also have a high single tone at times and a echo hum.
Mostly what troubles me is the high pitched hissing or buzzing. It can be loud and piercing in both ears.
I have mild high frequency hearing loss (between 6-8hz).
Riley doesn't seem to take much notice of the noise, which is strange. She likes to watch the birds visually, but not too interested in their sounds.
I use streams and rain when the hissing is a bit more moderate.
- Mar 11, 2018
- 875
- Tinnitus Since
- 3/18
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Noise Induced Hearing Loss
@TracyJS
Have you always had the same sounds or has it changed over time? You're right, the hissing can be loud. I get hissing but it usually gets quieter in a little while. When I get hissing my t often changes sides. It's so weird and unpredictable.
You've got a point. Minnie hasn't paid any attention to my masking either.
Have you always had the same sounds or has it changed over time? You're right, the hissing can be loud. I get hissing but it usually gets quieter in a little while. When I get hissing my t often changes sides. It's so weird and unpredictable.
You've got a point. Minnie hasn't paid any attention to my masking either.
@New Guy
My sounds have changed over time in that a few new sounds presented themselves. Or I became more aware of them. Not sure.
The hissing has been consistent from the start, although it started out more mild and intermittent.
Actually, the first time T showed up was after I had fallen asleep in my living room chair an woke up an hour later with this loud humming/screaming in my ears/head. For some reason I didn't worry about it. Went to bed, it was gone the next day.
Then the hissing started gradually during the day.
Yes, it is so weird and unpredictable. It's what can keep one so off balance. And the variability from day to day. It's good that your sounds are mostly masked by nature/outside.
If the hissing is loud enough or high pitched enough, I can hear it outside, in the car, in most environments.
It sounds like your noises have changed. I've heard that's not uncommon.
Yes, Riley is completely indifferent to any masking sounds I use.
My sounds have changed over time in that a few new sounds presented themselves. Or I became more aware of them. Not sure.
The hissing has been consistent from the start, although it started out more mild and intermittent.
Actually, the first time T showed up was after I had fallen asleep in my living room chair an woke up an hour later with this loud humming/screaming in my ears/head. For some reason I didn't worry about it. Went to bed, it was gone the next day.
Then the hissing started gradually during the day.
Yes, it is so weird and unpredictable. It's what can keep one so off balance. And the variability from day to day. It's good that your sounds are mostly masked by nature/outside.
If the hissing is loud enough or high pitched enough, I can hear it outside, in the car, in most environments.
It sounds like your noises have changed. I've heard that's not uncommon.
Yes, Riley is completely indifferent to any masking sounds I use.
- Mar 11, 2018
- 875
- Tinnitus Since
- 3/18
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Noise Induced Hearing Loss
I first noticed my t on a Tuesday and thought, huh, that's weird. I went about life as usual for about a week until I started to get nervous. I saw an ENT 9 days after I noticed the t. I was 'ok' with it the first week. I thought I had a head cold or one of my new meds was causing it. It wasn't until after I saw the ENT that I freaked out.
Exactly same here , I start freak out the day the told me I got hearing loss and was told there is no cure for the ringing. Actually my T got very bad 3 months was on medication., crying, All I did was keep listening to it . Then when I started to understand it , it got back to where I was the first two weekS . Bad news made me went nuts. No cure.No medication to help.
- Mar 11, 2018
- 875
- Tinnitus Since
- 3/18
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Noise Induced Hearing Loss
That's a moment that is burned into my brain. When some young doctor said you have a hearing loss and you have t and it's not going to go away and there's nothing you can do about it and got up and started to walk toward the door. He didn't want to hear anything I had to say. It hit me very hard.
- Mar 11, 2018
- 875
- Tinnitus Since
- 3/18
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Noise Induced Hearing Loss
We need to focus on that as much as possible. When we have a bad day let it be a bad day and start fresh in the morning.
- Mar 11, 2018
- 875
- Tinnitus Since
- 3/18
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Noise Induced Hearing Loss
@TracyJS
I'm angry about that and will be the rest of my life. I try to let it go, sometimes without success. I'm getting better a little at a time.
I consider bringing the ENT that diagnosed me a copy of a book I got on t, a Sound Oasis s650, and a link to this forum with a polite note saying here are some great first steps for someone with t. Please use them as reference material to show future patients. I would leave the info at the front desk with the receptionist and ask her to give it to the Dr. It's all I can do.
I didn't even know about masking when I left his office. That would have helped so much.
I'm angry about that and will be the rest of my life. I try to let it go, sometimes without success. I'm getting better a little at a time.
I consider bringing the ENT that diagnosed me a copy of a book I got on t, a Sound Oasis s650, and a link to this forum with a polite note saying here are some great first steps for someone with t. Please use them as reference material to show future patients. I would leave the info at the front desk with the receptionist and ask her to give it to the Dr. It's all I can do.
I didn't even know about masking when I left his office. That would have helped so much.
I am good, Tracy.
This morning I discovered that I have very little hearing in my T affected ear. I am surprisingly calm, mostly because I see the ENT next Thursday for my hearing test. My T sounds like a whistling tea kettle, very high pitched. This may be why I am only now noticing the hearing loss. I wrote about in my thread.
Must stay calm....
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