I tried many antidepressants, including Zoloft. They increased my tinnitus within two days of taking them. Fortunately, none caused a permanent increase.Like mentioned, I got Zoloft prescribed. Just too afraid to take it.
Some people reported worsening or spiking from Zoloft, many do not. If you're truly in the mindset of taking yourself out the game, then what do you really have to lose by trying the meds first?Like mentioned, I got Zoloft prescribed. Just too afraid to take it.
Yes, I had this thought. I guess I am not quite there yet. And I really don't want to make it worse.Some people reported worsening or spiking from Zoloft, many do not. If you're truly in the mindset of taking yourself out the game, then what do you really have to lose by trying the meds first?
That is somewhat of an improvement at least. Keep protecting your ears during these initial stages and I see no reason why you shouldn't make progress. Maybe go back to the pastoral therapist you said you had success with?Yes, I had this thought. I guess I am not quite there yet. And I really don't want to make it worse.
I'm scheduled to see him Monday. But I dread his office by the loud highway.That is somewhat of an improvement at least. Keep protecting your ears during these initial stages and I see no reason why you shouldn't make progress. Maybe go back to the pastoral therapist you said you had success with?
I think the pros of the therapy outweighs the con of the freeway in this case.I'm scheduled to see him Monday. But I dread his office by the loud highway
You do seem to be seeking the right help and I'm glad for it. Hopefully these people will get you on the right path to acceptance and only then will you see true improvement mentally.My hyperacusis shot up this morning. Everything seems now even louder. I went yesterday to a monastery I visited previously to see a monk priest. Very kind man. I surprised him with my visit, yet he spent almost 2 hours with me with confession and discussion. He really wants to help me. My faith is shaken, I so much would like for God to help me in any way possible, but it does not seem to be possible. I wonder if the 2.5 hour drive in my fairly loud car (I wore musician's earplugs) and the 2 hour conversation spiked the hyperacusis. Tinnitus is bad but perhaps somewhat stable; lower in the evening, worse in the morning.
I'm right there with you on that one, I've not had a great couple of mornings the last two days. But the best advice I can give in these scenarios is to just get right out of bed and start your day, even if that just means moving to another room or something as simple as brushing your teeth. As for your neighbour and his noise... I know how infuriating it is when there's violent noise that's out of your control.I just could not get up from the bed today. And I keep thinking about ending it again, because I feel so much worse overall. Plus my neighbor had tree work done; chain saw and wood chipper noises. Noises from fucking hell.
Maybe. I feel like I am biding time, making some moves to prove I tried, all the while failure is inevitable. But in a way the longer I can stick around, the more success it perhaps is.I think the pros of the therapy outweighs the con of the freeway in this case.
You do seem to be seeking the right help and I'm glad for it. Hopefully these people will get you on the right path to acceptance and only then will you see true improvement mentally.
Well, I switched rooms because my bedroom was at the end close to the noise. Still spent half of the day lying down on the couch.Mine reacts the same as yours in regards to spiking after being around noise all day, which is why I've been locked away in silence for two weeks. I certainly don't recommend this approach for your mental health! I am told with time more stability will come and it'll react less.
I'm right there with you on that one, I've not had a great couple of mornings the last two days. But the best advice I can give in these scenarios is to just get right out of bed and start your day, even if that just means moving to another room or something as simple as brushing your teeth. As for your neighbour and his noise... I know how infuriating it is when there's violent noise that's out of your control.
Gambling, eh? Something I never was into, except buying a lotto ticket on occasion.Today I decided to take up online poker again, seeing as I'm not currently working or doing anything else, I thought why not. And to my surprise, as I was getting completely financially violated due to the worst luck in the world, I was having brief periods I genuinely wasn't focused on the barrage of fucking noise in my head.
Your actions don't strike me as a man who's simply buying time. They strike me as actions from a man who wants to live so is giving it his best shot. I'm fairly confident you'll come out on the other side. And I'm really looking forward to seeing your progress the next few months.Maybe. I feel like I am biding time, making some moves to prove I tried, all the while failure is inevitable. But in a way the longer I can stick around, the more success it perhaps is.
Roulette used to be my poison 10 years ago, I did certainly develop a problem that took me a couple of years to get over. I tend not to see poker as much of gambling, I don't spend big money and I just enjoy playing it. Much more so with friends in person but this seems a little ways down the road for now.Gambling, eh? Something I never was into, except buying a lotto ticket on occasion.
I always said I may spent much money on toys, but at least I don't do gambling, drugs and I am faithful to my wife. As I am about to fuck up a lot (likely end my life at some point), at least I will try to not get into these.
I don't know. I guess I am still hoping for a miracle/cure, i.e. this shit going away, or being reduced to a very low level I could accept. Or maybe "habituation" if it means something close, like really not noticing it. So in that sense I am buying time. Hence my attempts in finding faith and God. It's probably ridiculous. Any miracles that happen are probably various biological anomalies, where the body indeed somehow fixes itself even from seemingly incurable conditions. Hearing damage and tinnitus do not really fall into that category.Your actions don't strike me as a man who's simply buying time. They strike me as actions from a man who wants to live so is giving it his best shot. I'm fairly confident you'll come out on the other side. And I'm really looking forward to seeing your progress the next few months.
I know the feeling man. I am only 30 and much like you, I don't have interest in much at the moment. All we can do is continue to hope. I've also been wanting to try an antidepressant but am very scared to. I definitely would not be willing to try any SSRIs.I don't know. I guess I am still hoping for a miracle/cure, i.e. this shit going away, or being reduced to a very low level I could accept. Or maybe "habituation" if it means something close, like really not noticing it. So in that sense I am buying time. Hence my attempts in finding faith and God. It's probably ridiculous. Any miracles that happen are probably various biological anomalies, where the body indeed somehow fixes itself even from seemingly incurable conditions. Hearing damage and tinnitus do not really fall into that category.
I just can't believe how much despair is in me now. Zero interest in anything, worse, I abhor everything. Like I really do not want to live like this, yet, I definitely would not have enough courage to end it at the current level of suffering. But I can imagine now level of suffering, where ending it will become necessary (still would fear it).
Sorry, man. Only 30. At least I had 40 years of a good ride. I was so looking towards our 50-60 to spend with my loving wife and see my children become independent. We had our kids relatively early. I feel so robbed, so cheated.I know the feeling man. I am only 30 and much like you, I don't have interest in much at the moment. All we can do is continue to hope. I've also been wanting to try an antidepressant but am very scared to. I definitely would not be willing to try any SSRIs.
While we're all waiting for a cure, I think you're for now in an adventitious place where you don't need a miracle. You're so early into your onset that the odds of it fading into being so much less bothersome are highly in your favour. I like what you said about finding faith, I'm about to take a walk up to my local church. I haven't been there in years but I feel a nice walk will do me some good and that's as good as a destination as any.I don't know. I guess I am still hoping for a miracle/cure,
I emphasise with you so much here, I've just left my partner's and returned to my own place for the first time in a month to pick up my mail and invoices to try and attempt to get on top of things business wise even though I don't have any interest or motivation of the sort. Upon coming home, I looked out into my backyard and saw my boat that I know I won't take out again as it's very loud! I then saw my kayaks and thought what's the point of having those, it's not exactly going to be peaceful on the river with this in my head.I just can't believe how much despair is in me now. Zero interest in anything, worse, I abhor everything. Like I really do not want to live like this
The very definition of faith is 'complete trust or confidence in someone or something.' It seems impossible to have complete trust in anything when you feel hard done by and aren't seeing any results. For you to already have experienced almost silence this early on is a great sign. And also reading your description of your tinnitus, it sounds very similar to how mine began 8 years ago so take solace in the fact that after 8 months or so it really wasn't an issue for me at all.I am really losing faith.
I've never really been one for massages. I've only ever had them done by a physio after football or boxing. All men, all uncomfortable.The massage was not great. I hate man touching me, really gross. Hairy hands. Ugh. He knew some things about neck muscles, but otherwise very meh. I always went to female massagists. I used to go to one who was absolutely fantastic. Effective, knowledgeable, firm and gentle as needed. There was nothing erotic about it, just pleasant and relaxing.
To be expected at 3 months in. I was an absolute train wreck at that point so I wouldn't worry too much (impossible I know!).I am like broken record, I really should stop posting. Or even visiting this forum. Constant misery. This is not helping anyone, I guess. Neither myself, nor anyone else.
I may try another one, maybe.The very definition of faith is 'complete trust or confidence in someone or something.' It seems impossible to have complete trust in anything when you feel hard done by and aren't seeing any results. For you to already have experienced almost silence this early on is a great sign. And also reading your description of your tinnitus, it sounds very similar to how mine began 8 years ago so take solace in the fact that after 8 months or so it really wasn't an issue for me at all.
I've never really been one for massages. I've only ever had them done by a physio after football or boxing. All men, all uncomfortable.
Can you not seek out a new masseuse that better suits your requirements and raises your relaxation state?
And how are you doing today?
If we had similar thoughts - and if you were going insane like me - I pity you, too. But sounds like you are better now, at least.@gameover, keep posting here. I find your comments intriguing... almost like an echo of my personal thoughts from a couple of months ago. I understand your frustration and this is a good place to vent.
I know this condition is maddening. I spent the first 3 or 4 months like you, running around like a mad man, trying to find a cure or relief for this. I tried herbs, supplements, acupuncture, CBT, hearing aid, HBOT, church counseling, expert counseling, dieting, LLLT, etc.
I finally conceded. THERE IS NO MIRACLE CURE. Just have to give it time to let your body do its thing. I have to trust some of the experienced members of this forum. I've just decided to eat more healthy and nutritious foods these days... something I should've done in the first place.
Yeah, it is kinda more moderate than severe most of the day I guess. Still way too loud to accept it.To be expected at 3 months in. I was an absolute train wreck at that point so I wouldn't worry too much (impossible I know!).
In my personal opinion, if you are only 3 months in and describing your tinnitus as mostly 'moderate', this is a VERY good sign that you will eventually habituate.
Unfortunately he's not wrong, I know you've had bad experiences with a lot of the therapists you've seen but I do think you'd benefit from one. It of course isn't going to help the tinnitus but it will help you deal with focusing your emotions and not directing them at others.Not doing too great. I went to see a very well respected ENT this morning. I had zero expectations, and indeed, nothing he can do except help me maybe find psychiatric help. Combo of intense tinnitus and hyperacusis is rare, according to him.
Hi @gameover, I hope you're managing okay right now. You will have some funny stories to tell like from this encounter with the paranormal guy.I went to see another new therapist, the Native American Paranormal Hypnotist PhD Psychologist. I ran out after 5 minutes, literally. His place reeked with a smell that was a combination of smoking and urine. I can't describe it, it was suffocating and vomit inducing. I tried to open a window, thinking I may be able to deal with it but no dice. Besides, the first thing the dude asked me was "Hello. Do you have your insurance card for me?". The fellow and the place seemed weird and unsettling like from a Cohen brothers movie, if not David Lynch's. Gross and scary. I can indeed believe this dude deals with paranormal shit. In a bad way. Maybe it was smell of the devil.
Then I went to see the priest-married-to-nun one. This is a good person, I feel. Nothing earth shattering. But he listens and cares. I will keep going to see him.
Now, this evening I have something resembling near silence at times. Well, maybe just for a moment. It's weird, there is still this ringing-echo-emptiness cloak/veil, but the volume is lower than it has been in a good while. I don't want to get too optimistic, I fully expect this thing to rear its ugly sound on me any moment. Depression is crippling me anyway.
The part about "God has a plan for you"... it just does not sit well with me. I keep hearing this from the monk, from the pastoral therapist. I think this is something very American, Protestant rather, that has been adopted by Catholics here. I never thought God has plan for me. Why should he? Does not square away with free will. I don't want anyone having a plan for me. Unless it's curing me fully, well, I can take that.
No medical practice uses terms like "torture." I can't believe how you can see "journey" being insensitive. There's no cure. It's literally a journey to either natural healing, habituation or suicide.The worst part of today is I sent a nasty email to the audiologist's office after they responded to my inquiry regarding follow-up with sound therapy with an infomercial boilerplate email praising Lenire and "helping me with tinnitus journey". Very insensitive I'd say (it's a torture, not journey), though nothing justified my beyond despicable email. I did not mean to send it even, I wanted to vent to myself, but did by mistake. I burnt that bridge now I am quite sure I am a nasty, hopeless moron.
No medical practice uses terms like "torture." I can't believe how you can see "journey" being insensitive. There's no cure. It's literally a journey to either natural healing, habituation or suicide.
Take no offense, but I know your type. You treat others like shit because you are hurting or having problems. Did you also bully your class mates in school? That's the classic type you know, a school bully has problems, but expresses those problems by making others' lives as miserable as possible.
Dealing with your pain by being nasty to others... that's low. It doesn't make it any better that you realize it yourself but keep doing it.
You aren't the only one with life altering health problems.
What kind of boat do you have man? I have a 180 Baycraft and was about to buy a 24ft Haynie before this happened. My passion and what I pretty much live for is saltwater fishing, but alike you, am very doubtful I will ever be able to get on the water again.While we're all waiting for a cure, I think you're for now in an adventitious place where you don't need a miracle. You're so early into your onset that the odds of it fading into being so much less bothersome are highly in your favour. I like what you said about finding faith, I'm about to take a walk up to my local church. I haven't been there in years but I feel a nice walk will do me some good and that's as good as a destination as any.
I emphasise with you so much here, I've just left my partner's and returned to my own place for the first time in a month to pick up my mail and invoices to try and attempt to get on top of things business wise even though I don't have any interest or motivation of the sort. Upon coming home, I looked out into my backyard and saw my boat that I know I won't take out again as it's very loud! I then saw my kayaks and thought what's the point of having those, it's not exactly going to be peaceful on the river with this in my head.
It's strange to think I was here 8 years ago with all the same thoughts and despair but after 6 months to a year I was back to living normally again. Albeit it's a lot worse this time, if I could get some stability and not have the volume rising due to external stimuli, then I think I could habituate to the elevated baseline.