I am really at a deep end. My wife drove me to a doctor's appt today (waiting for it). People's behavior on the road makes me loathe humanity. Fucking egocentric assholes. Basically every one of them. Driving at highway speeds buried in their fucking smart phones, drifting out of lane and oblivious to the surroundings. Tailgating. Inevitably, some moron rear-ended another causing traffic backup. Road maintenance during peak traffic... why? Because some fucking union says so, probably.
Seriously, smartphones is one of the worst things that happened to us. Makes us more vile, dangerous, self-absorbed. Fuck you Steve Jobs and your ilk. You sure are rotting in hell (if there was one, probably there isn't). Fuck me, who also contributed to so called tech. Although I am just a corporate drone. Scourge of humanity.
Just one look around the surroundings. Ugly cheap plastic houses. Whether the new developer "specials" McMansions, or some shitty ranches from 1960s. Everything is so ugly. Wasteful, cheap, pathetic. I hated those people and these things before, it's just magnified 10x now.
The worst thing is the realization what fucking vermin human race is. We are worse than rats. Way worse. We piss and shit literally into our bed, into what feeds us. Pollution everywhere. Think about it - like road salt use in winter. Just so this bunch of pathetic useless beings can get to their useless jobs, we are destroying the water sources. And of course (because this is fucking Murica), how anyone could even think about using winter tires? Freedom! What a bunch of losers.
Human race is pathetic, but USA is true epitome of evil. Everything is about money and greed. Basically everyone is there to get you and take advantage of you. Car mechanics, whenever they smell blood, they will rip you off. There may be exceptions, but that's the rule. Why? Not necessarily because every single person is evil. The system, the society makes them be so. They are underpaid and taken advantage by insurance companies, their bosses, etc. Or the medical-industrial complex. Let's not even get started. Everything is designed to fuck you over. Maybe that's why there is no hope for tinnitus cure.
Believe or not, I think that at heart, most people are actually good, even if mostly ignorant. But as a whole, as a society we are evil. Bad. The planet will be so much better off once humans are gone. Can't come soon enough. If the insane escalation of war in Ukraine results in nuclear war, that would be pretty fucking awesome. There will a lot of destruction and suffering, but if once humans are gone, the planet will eventually recover. Animals are way more deserving of this planet than fucking humans are. Maybe the evolution will spare the planet another mistake of developing "thinking' species. If this was God, fuck him. What a terrible thing he did by creating us.
The whole green propaganda about global warming (now "climate change"). Purely designed for profit and for taking advantage of you. Of course a lot of things we do, pretty much everything we do, is bad for the planet. But really the planet will be just fine once we are gone. So in that sense, doing more harm to accelerate human race demise is ultimately good.
On the other hand, maybe it is just a game, a simulation? Who the fuck cares if we destroy this planet. Maybe there are millions of them, and more will be come. Maybe that's the point, have fun, while you can, if you can, and just fuck others if you are in the position to? But then I never thought making others suffer is right, or never took pleasure in doing so. I do not think I caused much suffering to others. I tried to live by mantra "don't do to others what you would not like done to you". Of course, due to ignorance maybe I did things like that. Maybe I drove my loud car by someone's house where there was a hyperacusis sufferer, for example. I had no idea. Or in some cases, I just did not care. Maybe I was rude or brusque at times, hurting others or just making their day unpleasant. Yeah, I probably was.
Tinnitus is such a torture, but I realized living is a torture. I will end it. I feel sorry for my family. I am no longer able to provide for them and protect them. I will need to go.
Seriously, smartphones is one of the worst things that happened to us. Makes us more vile, dangerous, self-absorbed. Fuck you Steve Jobs and your ilk. You sure are rotting in hell (if there was one, probably there isn't). Fuck me, who also contributed to so called tech. Although I am just a corporate drone. Scourge of humanity.
Just one look around the surroundings. Ugly cheap plastic houses. Whether the new developer "specials" McMansions, or some shitty ranches from 1960s. Everything is so ugly. Wasteful, cheap, pathetic. I hated those people and these things before, it's just magnified 10x now.
The worst thing is the realization what fucking vermin human race is. We are worse than rats. Way worse. We piss and shit literally into our bed, into what feeds us. Pollution everywhere. Think about it - like road salt use in winter. Just so this bunch of pathetic useless beings can get to their useless jobs, we are destroying the water sources. And of course (because this is fucking Murica), how anyone could even think about using winter tires? Freedom! What a bunch of losers.
Human race is pathetic, but USA is true epitome of evil. Everything is about money and greed. Basically everyone is there to get you and take advantage of you. Car mechanics, whenever they smell blood, they will rip you off. There may be exceptions, but that's the rule. Why? Not necessarily because every single person is evil. The system, the society makes them be so. They are underpaid and taken advantage by insurance companies, their bosses, etc. Or the medical-industrial complex. Let's not even get started. Everything is designed to fuck you over. Maybe that's why there is no hope for tinnitus cure.
Believe or not, I think that at heart, most people are actually good, even if mostly ignorant. But as a whole, as a society we are evil. Bad. The planet will be so much better off once humans are gone. Can't come soon enough. If the insane escalation of war in Ukraine results in nuclear war, that would be pretty fucking awesome. There will a lot of destruction and suffering, but if once humans are gone, the planet will eventually recover. Animals are way more deserving of this planet than fucking humans are. Maybe the evolution will spare the planet another mistake of developing "thinking' species. If this was God, fuck him. What a terrible thing he did by creating us.
The whole green propaganda about global warming (now "climate change"). Purely designed for profit and for taking advantage of you. Of course a lot of things we do, pretty much everything we do, is bad for the planet. But really the planet will be just fine once we are gone. So in that sense, doing more harm to accelerate human race demise is ultimately good.
On the other hand, maybe it is just a game, a simulation? Who the fuck cares if we destroy this planet. Maybe there are millions of them, and more will be come. Maybe that's the point, have fun, while you can, if you can, and just fuck others if you are in the position to? But then I never thought making others suffer is right, or never took pleasure in doing so. I do not think I caused much suffering to others. I tried to live by mantra "don't do to others what you would not like done to you". Of course, due to ignorance maybe I did things like that. Maybe I drove my loud car by someone's house where there was a hyperacusis sufferer, for example. I had no idea. Or in some cases, I just did not care. Maybe I was rude or brusque at times, hurting others or just making their day unpleasant. Yeah, I probably was.
Tinnitus is such a torture, but I realized living is a torture. I will end it. I feel sorry for my family. I am no longer able to provide for them and protect them. I will need to go.