Yet another tinnitus case among people I know - that I did not know they had it before.
Tonight we went to one of our favorite restaurants we've not been to in 6 months. We've been going there for more than 15 years. Met a waiter there, an older gentleman (65) who has been there all these years. We knew he had various health issues (back and seriously injured leg) through all these years. I asked for a table far away due to "my new hearing issues".
He said he has tinnitus, too! And I could instantly tell it was a bad one by his reaction. He says he has had it for 7 years. Likely due to noise exposure in discos, concerts and such through all the years. Well, for these 15 years he has worked in this fairly loud restaurant, too. He says he hears it always, it does not really go away. Except when he is engaged in what he loves, which is martial arts, that he has been practicing for 35 years. Only then he says he completely stops noticing it. But like at work, in that busy restaurant, he says he remains constantly aware. He could not quite tell me if he has hyperacusis, but he said that at times when the restaurant is louder, it bugs him.
He says he deals with it though strength of his character, he does not let pain or tinnitus dominate him. He dominates. Just keeps going thru the day. Yet another example of a strong man who does not give up. Unlike me
As you see, the same pattern. I remember talking to him and commiserating about his leg injury few years ago. I guess I asked because I saw him limping. Wish he told me about his tinnitus... apparently it is only me that brings this up with people.
Also today, we had a gas utility worker come to our house to service the meter. Younger fella, polite (for me unusual, it seems most people these days are jerks). Because of that, I thought, ok, I will ask/warn him about tinnitus. Turns out he was aware of the danger, knew people with it at work, plus his union at work made sure to educate them about dangers of loud noise and provides hearing protection. Good for him.
Btw, I did not get angry much today, relatively. I saw many morons on the road, but contained myself (plus my wife drove). When I see people driving at highway speeds buried in their phones, my blood boils. I won't say what else I think about them.
Since I've been reflecting so much on my "weakness". I endured some pretty nasty physical pain in my life, not chronic one, but still nasty. Just remembered about some painful dental work from long time ago. I had molar pulled without anesthesia. I also, believe it or not, had root canal done in the jaw (yep, jaw) without anesthesia of any kind, either. Yes, really. I was in my mid teens then. Let's say I come from formerly borderline 3rd world country, where this was the norm, at least in my god forsaken neck of woods there. It hurt like fuck. And I dealt with it in stride.
I guess we are cut from different molds, and we can deal with different shit differently. I honestly think the fucking tinnitus and depression is this exact thing I am unable to overcome. Like if you wanted to destroy me and torture me, you would thoroughly study my psyche, and conclude - "yep, that's exactly what's needed to fuck him over for good". I have no idea if that's God's work, Satan's work, or just this idiot's poor luck. Whatever.
Also.a thought: why do I meet only tinnitus heros? Well, you do not get to meet the losers. They are either 6 feet under, or mostly hide away in their homes, so you are not likely to meet them in person. Some of them may visit this forum.
I seem to be that dead man walking. For now, anyway. I am not a hero, obviously.
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