fishbone
Member
- May 5, 2016
- 2,594
- Tinnitus Since
- 1988
- Cause of Tinnitus
- loud noise and very bad sickness
How to Be with Someone Having Tinnitus?
- Thread starter Christophe_85
- Start date
MemberOk so this is good for you if she didn't leave because you got T !
How do you manage the Dog ?
I had my dog before T so it's been fine, he helps me a lot especially if I have a panic attack he rushes over and forces his head onto my chest and doesn't move until I've calmed down. Noise wise, he doesn't bark a lot except if he sees something the garden or somebody comes into the house he doesn't know.
He's a huskie so he kind of talks at you (obviously not actual words if I heard him speak English I would think I have well and truly lost the plot) it's funny and it's like he's arguing with you especially if he doesn't want to take a bath, get off the sette or want some of your food etc
The worst part is the shedding, and man does he shed a lot especially in the summer. If I knitted I could make the whole of TT some dog hair sweaters.
I was rather wondering how you manage your Dog while you are at your job...
Yes apparently, Huskies are very nice and offer very good hugs !
Ah yes the shedding !
Even with cats there is so much hair !
Oh haha I'm off work at the moment so that's not an issue.
We used to leave him in the garden, we got part of the garden fenced off so that was his area, he's got his own mini house in that part so he's fine with his toys and always has water.
He gets taken for a walk in the morning before work and when one of us could, we would come home at dinnertime and take him for another walk. He doesn't seem bothered in the slightest, we can keep an eye on him through the security cameras as well.
In reply to the original post, I can imagine it is not easy being involved in a relationship with a T sufferer.
My significant other and I have grown apart since the onset of my T. He just cannot understand what I have been going through and sometimes I get the feeling there's no point in talking to him about how I feel.
A couple of weeks ago he told me to suck it up and deal with it. Then I cried and told him I wanted to take my own life and he said: (quote) "I don't wanna come back home to your dead body". Well, he said it in Spanish and this is the best translation I can come up with. But basically it sounded like:
1- I don't care if you kill yourself.
2- I just don't wanna be the one who finds you.
I hated it when he said that.
My significant other and I have grown apart since the onset of my T. He just cannot understand what I have been going through and sometimes I get the feeling there's no point in talking to him about how I feel.
A couple of weeks ago he told me to suck it up and deal with it. Then I cried and told him I wanted to take my own life and he said: (quote) "I don't wanna come back home to your dead body". Well, he said it in Spanish and this is the best translation I can come up with. But basically it sounded like:
1- I don't care if you kill yourself.
2- I just don't wanna be the one who finds you.
I hated it when he said that.
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
He might have attempted to imply that it would be devastating for him (as he would be feeling sorry for you), and he might have been begging you for mercy.
Ah ok, your Dog is happy that you are at home with him !
Is there a risk that he can leave through the fence ? We had a Labrador like that, all the time she wanted to go everywhere else, the garden was not small though...
Ah yes nowadays you can have security cameras, and can you check through your Phone ???
- May 29, 2018
- 1,161
- Tinnitus Since
- 10/2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Neck/stress
I want to believe he cannot handle the thought of me taking my own life and said that. I guess coming home after a long day at work to find the dead body of your significant other is not exactly something you want to ever have to experience.
It's definitely brought out the worst in me. I had never felt so much anger and hate.
- Oct 14, 2016
- 1,270
- Tinnitus Since
- All my life, but got worse 2016
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Noise induced / Concert
I stopped telling everyone I know that I have tinnitus, they just get fed up hearing about it... Normal people can only act compassionate for a small while then it is all about them... They expect you pretty much to figure it out on your own.
I don't think T brings out the worst in people, I think it brings out their ignorance on the matter. They just don't know what they don't know, holding a grudge is pointless.
I don't think T brings out the worst in people, I think it brings out their ignorance on the matter. They just don't know what they don't know, holding a grudge is pointless.
I made peace of being single forever. I am 28 and I pissed my life away. Let's be honest as soon as I got T last year (Sep 2017) I knew life for me was over. R.I.P my beautiful life.
Ah ok, your Dog is happy that you are at home with him !
Is there a risk that he can leave through the fence ? We had a Labrador like that, all the time she wanted to go everywhere else, the garden was not small though...
Ah yes nowadays you can have security cameras, and can you check through your Phone ???
No in all honesty he's not that smart
I don't think it's even occurred to him to try.... the fences are quite big anyway but like the lab you had (apart from my big dope) always find a way to get out somehow haha
- May 29, 2018
- 1,161
- Tinnitus Since
- 10/2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Neck/stress
Yup. Anything that brings you to the point of murdering yourself to gain relief will do that.
The thing is if it's a visible condition, like being quadraplegic, people are more likely to be sympathetic. But with something you can't see it's a completely different ball game. In fact, if I were in their shoes and someone told me "my ears ring" I'd be at a loss for words too, maybe.
- May 29, 2018
- 1,161
- Tinnitus Since
- 10/2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Neck/stress
A lot of us do my friend. But try telling anyone and you only amplify the belief that you're insane......'those whom the gods wish to destroy first make mad.'
The tinnitus curse in a miserable fucking nutshell.
Why do some folks expect everyone to feel sorry for them? I remember my pops sitting me down once and saying something like, "Son, you could laying half dead in a ditch somewhere, and nobody would even stop to give you the time of fucking day". Salty old bastard was right... And he's got tinnitus too. People have their own issues to deal with, can't expect them to get all wrapped about a noise you hear in your head.
- Oct 14, 2016
- 1,270
- Tinnitus Since
- All my life, but got worse 2016
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Noise induced / Concert
As I'm writing this message I am currently baking a pie for 3 of my neighbors as xmas gifts. The main reason is because when they moved in I never stopped by their door with a housewarming gift. I figured a homemade pie would ease the tensions they have towards me.
Frankly yeah I'm a selfish person, I do what I can because it's my duty as a neighbor and good citizen (kinda like picking up dog poo). Would I do it if the rules of civility weren't there? Nope. But I do it because I love where I live and I don't want to draw attention to myself or be "different" from my neighbors.
Humans are naturally selfish, it's society that mold them into caring people.
Frankly yeah I'm a selfish person, I do what I can because it's my duty as a neighbor and good citizen (kinda like picking up dog poo). Would I do it if the rules of civility weren't there? Nope. But I do it because I love where I live and I don't want to draw attention to myself or be "different" from my neighbors.
Humans are naturally selfish, it's society that mold them into caring people.
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
What is the cause of that tension?
I would hate for a neighbour to harass me by trying to introduce him or herself. Then again, I never open the door when someone knocks on it, so I would be fine. But if I were to open my door just as my neighbour was about to knock on it, I would hate it.
fishbone
Member
- May 5, 2016
- 2,594
- Tinnitus Since
- 1988
- Cause of Tinnitus
- loud noise and very bad sickness
Why would you draw attention to yourself? Why would you be different from your neighbors? You do what you do as an act of kindness, not to just earn some brownie points and just do it for no reason. Why would someone that you don't even know and not angered have tensions towards you?
What fish said ^... Ignore Mr. Bauer's antisocial sentiments, most folks aren't extreme introverts, he has yet to figure that out apparently. Or, he has, and just likes to rant and rave out of boredom or some sort of sick pleasure. Either way....
- Feb 17, 2017
- 10,400
- Tinnitus Since
- February, 2017
- Cause of Tinnitus
- Acoustic Trauma
fishbone
Member
- May 5, 2016
- 2,594
- Tinnitus Since
- 1988
- Cause of Tinnitus
- loud noise and very bad sickness
This is so freakin true! As a youth I had expectations from family, friends to care and understand my issues. As I got older and saw the cold reality, I figured how cold people really are. Now, I don't expect anything from anyone, EXCEPT myself. At the end of the day only I can pick myself up, no one else....
It is -what it is, and I am 100% fine and adjusted to the reality I face daily.
In Switzerland we have the possibility of being euthanized but ONLY if there is no other option but suffering (cancer and other diseases that cannot be treated).
I wrote to 2 of those compagnies explaining that Tinnitus cannot be cured and that there are good chances of increasing and that this is just a living nightmare !
But they wrote me back that I have to have agreements from differents specialists and so on... So you can say this is impossible !
I really would like to have this as an option if my T becomes really unbearable !
@Angel Dust - I truly don't think they know how to handle the situation and come across as cold and heartless sometimes which is what we absolutely don't need.... lashings of love and support is what is required x
Well I must say I am feeling quite lonely sometimes... 
More and more maybe, I don't know...
Mental instability and T+H, what an addition to meet someone...
More and more maybe, I don't know...
Mental instability and T+H, what an addition to meet someone...
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