It's Me, emmalee

[emmalee]

I am so happy to be a part of this forum. We watch as others struggle just as we struggle. We watch as others come together to offer support and share their own stories. It is okay to have bad days, in fact we need the bad days to remind us that we are indeed human.

My T is not behaving today, so I am leaving it at home while I go out and run a few errands.


Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.

 

[emmalee]

Came upon this beautiful tree while walking earlier in the day, it is so close to blooming! Not sure what it is called, though. I plan to take the photo to the nursery out on the old highway and see if they have them in stock.

@New Guy or any other knowledgable green thumbs.....

Do you happen to know what this tree is called? Sorry for the photo quality, it may be hard to tell.

 

[New Guy]

@emmalee

It looks like a Saucer Magnolia (Magnolia x soulangeana) http://www.missouribotanicalgarden.org/PlantFinder/PlantFinderDetails.aspx?kempercode=a885

It's a stunning tree in bloom. I didn't know they survived up in Canada.

 

[emmalee]

@New Guy

Thanks so much, New Guy! That is the one. Where I am, the Niagara Peninsula, we have very hot and humid summers. The temperatures are moderated by Lake Ontario and Lake Erie, so that may be the reason it survives here. We are known for soft fruits, peaches, plums, apricots and grapes. There are also many, many wineries in the area due to the ability to grow many varieties of grapes. Our Ice Wines are world renown.

Tomorrow I plan to head to the nursery, I need one of these trees in my life.

Thanks once again for your expertise New guy.

I hope you have a peaceful nights sleep and that tomorrow will be a good day.

 

[New Guy]

@emmalee

No problem. I always get excited when I know a plant. I'm going to sleep well tonight. It was a physical day at work.

 

[emmalee]

This morning I woke up around 4:30 to the sound of a bird symphony. I had the bedroom window open all night, it was warm and somewhat muggy when I went to bed. The sky to the east was already beginning to lighten up and the birds were in their glory, bless their noisy little hearts.

This is where it gets interesting. My good ear, the right one, was closet to the window and I could hear the chirping very clearly. I got to thinking and decided to turn my T ear to the window. I plugged the good ear to see what would happen. I could not hear the birds at all, not one chirp came through. So for most of the day I have been testing the hearing in the T ear and I get similar results, depending on what I choose to focus on.

I have hearing loss in my left ear, this is a given.

Not sure if it will be a permanent thing. My hearing test is coming up next Thursday, it will be interesting to see what transpires. Funny enough I haven't gone into panic mode, quite the opposite is true. I am pretty calm.

I went for my walk even though it was drizzling, it is still warm and humid. Once again I took my camera, I am looking for Alex, the neighborhood's favorite cat. He is an icon. Totally deaf and 15 years old and the kindest, gentlest creature on earth ( at least on my tiny corner of earth.) He eluded me again, I am beginning to fear the worst.

I did, however, find some brightness in this dreary looking day. Yep, a dandelion! Welcome spring. Why are they feared by so many lawn gurus? I think they are beautiful.

And for those lawn gurus, here is something more pleasing to the eye.

 

[David Dubros]

@emmalee
Nice pics Emma.
Glad the storm fizzled out.
Sorry to find out about your hearing loss but maybe your appointment will yield better news.
I hate to sound dumb but do you only have T in the ear with the hearing loss?
I guess i ask because i have it in both and no loss of hearing.
Anyways stay strong Emma
And be well .

 

[emmalee]

@emmalee
Nice pics Emma.
Glad the storm fizzled out.
Sorry to find out about your hearing loss but maybe your appointment will yield better news.
I hate to sound dumb but do you only have T in the ear with the hearing loss?
I guess i ask because i have it in both and no loss of hearing.
Anyways stay strong Emma
And be well .

David, not dumb in the least. My left ear is the only ear with the T and the hearing loss. My right ear appears to be perfectly normal. It has been this way from the very beginning. I woke up one morning with a fullness in my left ear which persisted the whole day. The very next morning I awoke to the tea kettle whistle and the fullness was still there, too.

I still experience the fullness, some days a lot, some days a little, but it never leaves. The whistle has been with me every single day and it never seems to vary in loudness, except for the one day last week. It is whistling as I type this note.

 

[David Dubros]

@emmalee
Thanks for telling me.
The whistle must be awful.
I had my first three months of raging EEEEEE at about 8khz.
I was all alone all day and just curled up in bed and wanted to die.
Through the support of my wife i made it through but im sure i went a little crazy.
I now have a better understanding of where you're at with the T and you have a friend in me .
Wishing you good steps at a time.

 

[emmalee]

@emmalee
Thanks for telling me.
The whistle must be awful.
I had my first three months of raging EEEEEE at about 8khz.
I was all alone all day and just curled up in bed and wanted to die.
Through the support of my wife i made it through but im sure i went a little crazy.
I now have a better understanding of where you're at with the T and you have a friend in me .
Wishing you good steps at a time.

Thanks for the kind wishes, David. You are fortunate to have a loving wife, I wish you both all the best because this T involves our entire family, not just us.

 

[Mystery Reader]

@emmalee
Best of luck with your test next week, emmalee. You've started a thread that has resulted in a lot of encouragement for and from a lot of people here, and I hope the better days are coming for you soon.

Mystery Reader

 

[emmalee]

@emmalee
Best of luck with your test next week, emmalee. You've started a thread that has resulted in a lot of encouragement for and from a lot of people here, and I hope the better days are coming for you soon.

Mystery Reader

@Mystery Reader

Thank-you Mystery Reader, your support means a lot to me.

I wish you better days, too.

 

[Stephanie72]

@emmalee

I'm sorry about your experience this morning. I'm so glad your ENT appt is coming up. It might be helpful for you to make a list of questions and take it with you. I always forget about something I wanted to ask at any medical appt. I'm hoping this is a temporary setback for you. You're such a positive person. from the U.S.

 

[emmalee]

@emmalee

I'm sorry about your experience this morning. I'm so glad your ENT appt is coming up. It might be helpful for you to make a list of questions and take it with you. I always forget about something I wanted to ask at any medical appt. I'm hoping this is a temporary setback for you. You're such a positive person. from the U.S.

@Stephanie72

Thank-you Stephanie.

You make a good point, I will write out some questions for the ENT. I have a few.

 

[emmalee]

 

[Stephanie72]

@emmalee

And if you don't get answers or feel blown off go seek a 2nd opinion. I had a horrible ENT doctor visit last week. Told told me to buy a big fan and get used to it. That's unacceptable. So I have another appt in 3 weeks with another ENT that my GP actually called during my visit with him (to get his opinion). Hopefully you'll get a geat Doctor the first time!

 

[New Guy]

@emmalee I sent you a message. Please read it tonight.



John

 

[New Guy]

@emmalee

The last two days when I've come home from work I've gone into the yard and pulled dandelions. Do you want me to mail you some? Love the daffodils!

 

[emmalee]

@emmalee

And if you don't get answers or feel blown off go seek a 2nd opinion. I had a horrible ENT doctor visit last week. Told told me to buy a big fan and get used to it. That's unacceptable. So I have another appt in 3 weeks with another ENT that my GP actually called during my visit with him (to get his opinion). Hopefully you'll get a geat Doctor the first time!

@Stephanie72

Absolutely noted, Stephanie, thank you so much for your support. I sincerely appreciate your kindness.

 

[emmalee]

@emmalee

The last two days when I've come home from work I've gone into the yard and pulled dandelions. Do you want me to mail you some? Love the daffodils!

Yes, I would love that!

 

[emmalee]

Today marks almost four full weeks since I found this forum. To say that I am in a much better frame of mind would be an understatement. I still have my down days, we all do, but they are becoming the exception rather than the rule.

I have chosen to stay positive and not let negative thoughts take over my mind. It isn't as easy as I make it sound, but it is absolutely doable. I think one can fall into a pattern of negative thinking and get trapped there.

 

[David Dubros]

@emmalee
This post made my day Emma.
So glad for your courage and stamina.
You show people like me how it's done.
Good for you girl.

 

[emmalee]

@emmalee
This post made my day Emma.
So glad for your courage and stamina.
You show people like me how it's done.
Good for you girl.

@David Dubros

If my post made your day David, then I am over the moon. Thank-you so much.

 

[emmalee]

I went for my walk earlier than usual this morning. I posted a photo of this tree last Wednesday asking for help identifying the variety. @New Guy was kind enough to let me know.

This is how it looks today, in full bloom. It is a Saucer Magnolia (Magnolia x soulangeana.)

 

[emmalee]

True fact about the mind, it is very powerful. What is even more powerful, though, is our ability to choose one thought over another. We can either let tinnitus define us or we can choose to not let it define us.

 

[David Dubros]

@emmalee
Oh Emma.. so beautiful. Perks me up from my latest troubles. But at least my T is quiet today .
Thank you for sharing this and i do hope you are doing well.

 

[emmalee]

@emmalee
Oh Emma.. so beautiful. Perks me up from my latest troubles. But at least my T is quiet today .
Thank you for sharing this and i do hope you are doing well.

David, it really is a beautiful tree. There is a blanket of pink petals underneath the tree, too. Some are already starting to fall. Prettiest sight ever!

A quiet T is well-behaved T. So happy to hear this.

I am doing okay, for the most part. I am in a quiet mood, can't quite pinpoint the reason.

 

[David Dubros]

@emmalee
I hope the quiet mood serves you well.
I am often reflective when quiet.

The tree is spectacular!!

 

[emmalee]

@emmalee
I hope the quiet mood serves you well.
I am often reflective when quiet.

The tree is spectacular!!

Me too, David. Sometimes we just have to go with the flow when it comes to our emotions.

 

[David Dubros]

Me too, David. Sometimes we just have to go with the flow when it comes to our emotions.

Its so true.
Things are often easier said than done but our emotions rule everything.
We have to follow our hearts.