Suicidal

[Brian P]

So sorry. Did it go back to baseline? I hope you are better now.

Your life is precious.

I had hyperacusis twice. At the time I had a 2 and a 5 year old. (no need to say much more).

It went away.

I also know of some people whose hyperacusis was severe and they got much better.
Don't lose hope.

Just do not over protect your ears and be patient and kind to yourself.

The vaccine tinnitus has not gone away but that could be because of the benzodiazepines tinnitus on top of it. My taper was not kind to me and made it louder with more tones and more shrill.

 

[Wrfortiscue]

So sorry. Did it go back to baseline? I hope you are better now.

Your life is precious.

I had hyperacusis twice. At the time I had a 2 and a 5 year old. (no need to say much more).

It went away.

I also know of some people whose hyperacusis was severe and they got much better.
Don't lose hope.

Just do not over protect your ears and be patient and kind to yourself.

Yeah wearing earmuffs and earplugs is just worsening my hyperacusis and not making my tinnitus any better so I would agree not to over protect.

 

[Forever hopeful]

Sorry you're going through so much! I just wanted to say "hi" and maybe give some hope. What's happening with me is that it is loud, still, but it is so pervasive that it's becoming like background noise. I forget about it at times. I remind myself that it's not actually harming me in any way. Focusing on other things helps, too. Deep breathing, alternate nostril breathing (sounds weird, and it looks weird, but it seems to dial down the angst t can create) are all different interventions that can be done and be effective. I don't have all the answers, and, as you know, have some other physical things going on, etc. But, for the time being - and it does change throughout the day, so not completely out of the woods - things are better.

Please take care of yourself, and I hope you get some relief very soon.

Thank you. I really appreciate it.

 

[OnceUponaTime]

It is the severe suicidal tinnitus that gets me mostly.

Your tinnitus is fairly new per your profile. You have to give it some time either for it to calm down or for you to find ways to cope with it. Take one day at a time and try to calm down.

I'm sorry that there is not much that we can say to make things better for you. But after having tinnitus for 10 years, I can say that remaining calm during bad days has helped me a lot.

I wish you better days.

 

[OnceUponaTime]

The vaccine tinnitus has not gone away but that could be because of the benzodiazepines tinnitus on top of it. My taper was not kind to me and made it louder with more tones and more shrill.

May I ask what benzo did you taper off from?

One has to be very careful when tapering off.

Slow is the name of the game to avoid nasty withdrawal symptoms.

 

[OnceUponaTime]

Yeah wearing earmuffs and earplugs is just worsening my hyperacusis and not making my tinnitus any better so I would agree not to over protect.

How long have you had hyperacusis? -and-
How often are you wearing ear protection? (If I may ask.)

 

[Wrfortiscue]

How long have you had hyperacusis? -and-
How often are you wearing ear protection? (If I may ask.)

Hyperacusis maybe over a year which worsened without me knowing what it was. I put earplugs or earmuffs whenever leaving the house, driving and stores.

 

[Brian P]

May I ask what benzo did you taper off from?

One has to be very careful when tapering off.

Slow is the name of the game to avoid nasty withdrawal symptoms.

I took Klonopin for 6 weeks and tapered it for 9 weeks.

 

[Brian P]

How long have you had hyperacusis? -and-
How often are you wearing ear protection? (If I may ask.)

I don't use ear protection often. I've had it since the 2nd dose of Pfizer. 36 hours after to be exact.

 

[Brian Newman]

I don't use ear protection often. I've had it since the 2nd dose of Pfizer. 36 hours after to be exact.

Damn that's crazy man, the vaccine messed you up bad. Sorry to hear. Notice any hearing loss? I also read it causes neuroinflammation in the brain that makes things worse. But I have heard of a lot of people getting tinnitus and hyperacusis from COVID-19 and the vaccine.

 

[danielthor]

 

[Nanny chocolate]

Hi. I wonder what your profession is @Damocles?

You write so eloquently.

I'm still laying off the Werther's!

 

[Brian P]

@AliasM, were you exposed to a lot of music or noise for your tinnitus to get this bad? Even when you were younger?

 

[AliasM]

@AliasM, were you exposed to a lot of music or noise for it to get this bad? Even when you were younger?

Not at all. Only ever been to a couple of concerts in my life and none in almost 2 decades. Never even listened to music. I liked my peace and quiet. Pod casts in the background on Alexa if I ever listened to anything at all.

At first I didn't know the cause of my tinnitus because I was gaslit by doctors so bad. Now I know that is was caused by a CSF leak. I was left to leak for 15 months before I got treatment with blood patch a month ago yesterday. My tinnitus started a few days after a botched lumbar puncture but was intermittent and much more mild. Severe 24/7 tinnitus and hyperacusis set in 4 month post lumbar puncture. Tinnitus is very common in the CSF leak community. Most people don't have it as their main symptom though. It is definitely mine. It has gone away for a few people straight after having their leak sealed but they are few. Medical literature says chronic low CSF pressure causes traction on the auditory nerve.

 

[DaveFromChicago]

Thanksgiving was excruciating. Tinnitus launched an unprecedented, full scale Vietcong attack for one and one half days.

All of the in-laws were over, and I felt so stressfully, emotionally battered that I nearly voided the Turkey dinner into the toilet.

I notified myself of the schizophrenic situation wherein I had to play the positively regarding host on the outside, but was increasingly panic stricken on the inside.

I am absolutely depleted.

All of my habituation reserves are exhausted.

No one around me is interested in hearing about this anymore.

Hearing Aids during such a spike are useless.

By now I know that it is only a question of when the next spike will at random occur.

Every Holiday is now accompanied by such an impending sense of dread that I fantasize about those prisoners, who during the Argentine Dirty War could tell by just hearing the Guard's footsteps exactly who was going to be subjected to another session of their electrically induced torture.

I feel such a sense of gutted lassitude today.

 

[Stacken77]

I'm sorry to hear that, @DaveFromChicago.

Thanksgiving was excruciating. Tinnitus launched an unprecedented, full scale Vietcong attack for one and one half days.

Wouldn't it make sense to use hearing protection during such times to mitigate a spike? Or is the tinnitus too loud for hearing protection?

 

[Brian P]

Not at all. Only ever been to a couple of concerts in my life and none in almost 2 decades. Never even listened to music. I liked my peace and quiet. Pod casts in the background on Alexa if I ever listened to anything at all.

At first I didn't know the cause of my tinnitus because I was gaslit by doctors so bad. Now I know that is was caused by a CSF leak. I was left to leak for 15 months before I got treatment with blood patch a month ago yesterday. My tinnitus started a few days after a botched lumbar puncture but was intermittent and much more mild. Severe 24/7 tinnitus and hyperacusis set in 4 month post lumbar puncture. Tinnitus is very common in the CSF leak community. Most people don't have it as their main symptom though. It is definitely mine. It has gone away for a few people straight after having their leak sealed but they are few. Medical literature says chronic low CSF pressure causes traction on the auditory nerve.

That's horrific.

 

[Brian P]

I will write a success story. I'm not sure if I will have good cell service in hell though...

 

[Brian P]

Damn that's crazy man, the vaccine messed you up bad. Sorry to hear. Notice any hearing loss? I also read it causes neuroinflammation in the brain that makes things worse. But I have heard of a lot of people getting tinnitus and hyperacusis from COVID-19 and the vaccine.

I had preexisting low frequency hearing loss from Ménière's that I didn't know I had until the vaccine. I had ear problems for years but never went to a doctor.

 

[DaveFromChicago]

Thanks for the Concern and the Question, Stacken77:

Forgive me, but I do not know what you mean by "hearing protection."

I have the Widex Hearing Aids with a white noise masker, but the masking sound only adds a layer to the already irritatingly loud tinnitus.

I also have the Smith & Wesson Gun Range Rated sound blocker headphones. I use them, for example, when I go through a penetratingly noisy Car Wash. But using them under normal circumstances only emphasizes the tinnitus by blocking out all external sounds.

When one of these spikes occurs, it is impervious to every conceivable palliative strategy I can conjure up.

These spikes remind me of the account given by Michael Herr in his book "Dispatches" regarding the operations of the North Vietnamese Army at Dak To in November 1967; in spite of our Area Intel they ambushed the American Infantry, fought as long as they wanted to, and then unaccountably vanished.

We we are having roller coaster weather, and the large barometric pressure swings can trigger my Migraines.

I am wondering if to some degree this may also cause a tinnitus spike.

This may at least be a theorizing, starting point towards some treatment possibilities.

 

[Clerkp]

Thanksgiving was excruciating. Tinnitus launched an unprecedented, full scale Vietcong attack for one and one half days.

All of the in-laws were over, and I felt so stressfully, emotionally battered that I nearly voided the Turkey dinner into the toilet.

I notified myself of the schizophrenic situation wherein I had to play the positively regarding host on the outside, but was increasingly panic stricken on the inside.

I am absolutely depleted.

All of my habituation reserves are exhausted.

No one around me is interested in hearing about this anymore.

Hearing Aids during such a spike are useless.

By now I know that it is only a question of when the next spike will at random occur.

Every Holiday is now accompanied by such an impending sense of dread that I fantasize about those prisoners, who during the Argentine Dirty War could tell by just hearing the Guard's footsteps exactly who was going to be subjected to another session of their electrically induced torture.

I feel such a sense of gutted lassitude today.

Interesting. Yesterday was my worst day in quite a while as well. Not even a large gathering. Just more time around the kids than usual. My ears were killing me last night. Didn't sleep well. Woke up feeling better however. It wasn't that loud so I wasn't sure what to attribute it to. The food? Strange.

 

[Brian Newman]

I had preexisting low frequency hearing loss from Ménière's that I didn't know I had until the vaccine. I had ear problems for years but never went to a doctor.

Ahhh ok, sorry to hear man. This condition is taking the life out of me. Hopefully we get relief.

 

[Stacken77]

Forgive me, but I do not know what you mean by "hearing protection."

I were primarily referring to earplugs, like standard foam earplugs or custom molded high fidelity ones. But it can be hard to follow conversations with them in, so it's not a fantastic solution. If sound exposure is the culprit behind our spikes, then dampening the sound using protection should lessen the result.

 

[Stacken77]

Interesting. Yesterday was my worst day in quite a while as well. Not even a large gathering. Just more time around the kids than usual. My ears were killing me last night. Didn't sleep well. Woke up feeling better however. It wasn't that loud so I wasn't sure what to attribute it to. The food? Strange.

Spikes can be weird, but do consider the possibility that it could have been the sound exposure, even if it wasn't loud. Before I became very sensitive, I got spikes from time to time in the same way, but sleep would almost always "reset" it to baseline levels; this is common for many. It could be food, but I doubt it.

It is good if we try to mitigate that which causes spikes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with, for example, investing in a pair of high fidelity custom molded earplugs that just reduces the overall volume a little, and use them for gatherings like that.

 

[PeteJ]

Or is the tinnitus too loud for hearing protection?

For me, it is.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with, for example, investing in a pair of high fidelity custom molded earplugs that just reduces the overall volume a little, and use them for gatherings like that.

They're expensive though? I wanted to get those but the price was prohibitive.

Do people who have severe/loud tinnitus work? Can they work? I guess if you have savings?

 

[Stacken77]

For me, it is.

I can understand that. My ultimate priority is to maintain the baseline and not have it worsen further, hence why there's not really a choice whether to protect or not. But I get your point.

They're expensive though? I wanted to get those but the price was prohibitive.

Yeah, they're expensive, around $200 or something. My reply was only a recommendation which presumed money wasn't an issue.

 

[Clerkp]

Spikes can be weird, but do consider the possibility that it could have been the sound exposure, even if it wasn't loud. Before I became very sensitive, I got spikes from time to time in the same way, but sleep would almost always "reset" it to baseline levels; this is common for many. It could be food, but I doubt it.

It is good if we try to mitigate that which causes spikes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with, for example, investing in a pair of high fidelity custom molded earplugs that just reduces the overall volume a little, and use them for gatherings like that.

Good advice. I've purchased a few musicians earplugs on Amazon that work in this way. I'll probably go for the customs at some point. I agree, even taking the edge off would probably help in those circumstances.

My goal is the same as yours. I want to keep things from getting worse for as long as possible. If it wasn't for needing vaccines every 6 months for the rest of my life, I think I could probably avoid most triggers indefinitely. The vaccines are throwing a wrench into things. I feel like I'm playing Russian roulette every time I get one. 3 so far and looks like a 4th will be coming this year.

 

[AliasM]

I haven't been to this forum in months. I've tried a lot of things since taking a forum break and none have helped. I even signed up to Liam Boehm's course which was a complete waste of time and money. If woo woo, pseudoscience and conspiracy theories are your thing, then go for it.

My tinnitus is incredibly severe - loud metal grinding in my head, ringing, metallic chimes, static and more 24/7. I can't handle it. People say the first few months are the worst, but I am no better now than I was in the beginning. It's just too severe and intrusive and I have started gathering documents for my Pegasos application.

If anyone is at where I am at, please can you tell me which organisation is best to join - Pegasos or Exit International? You have to be a subscriber of either/or to fulfill the Pegasos requirements. I'm not sure if Exit International accept a reciprocal Pegasos subscription to access their services. I won't have anyone going with me, my family have all refused, so I will need an Exit International volunteer. Can anyone tell me about the process please. Thank you.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

I haven't been to this forum in months. I've tried a lot of things since taking a forum break and none have helped. I even signed up to Liam Boehm's course which was a complete waste of time and money. If woo woo, pseudoscience and conspiracy theories are your thing, then go for it.

My tinnitus is incredibly severe - loud metal grinding in my head, ringing, metallic chimes, static and more 24/7. I can't handle it. People say the first few months are the worst, but I am no better now than I was in the beginning. It's just too severe and intrusive and I have started gathering documents for my Pegasos application.

If anyone is at where I am at, please can you tell me which organisation is best to join - Pegasos or Exit International? You have to be a subscriber of either/or to fulfill the Pegasos requirements. I'm not sure if Exit International accept a reciprocal Pegasos subscription to access their services. I won't have anyone going with me, my family have all refused, so I will need an Exit International volunteer. Can anyone tell me about the process please. Thank you.

I'm so so sorry to hear of your situation. It's devastating and completely heartbreaking I am considering Pegasos myself and I'm currently saving up for VAD, as an insurance of a peaceful way out. And if things get much worse, Pegasos will be the one I will contact for help. I already emailed them before and they replied that they have helped people with tinnitus and hyperacusis before.

 

[Brian P]

I haven't been to this forum in months. I've tried a lot of things since taking a forum break and none have helped. I even signed up to Liam Boehm's course which was a complete waste of time and money. If woo woo, pseudoscience and conspiracy theories are your thing, then go for it.

My tinnitus is incredibly severe - loud metal grinding in my head, ringing, metallic chimes, static and more 24/7. I can't handle it. People say the first few months are the worst, but I am no better now than I was in the beginning. It's just too severe and intrusive and I have started gathering documents for my Pegasos application.

If anyone is at where I am at, please can you tell me which organisation is best to join - Pegasos or Exit International? You have to be a subscriber of either/or to fulfill the Pegasos requirements. I'm not sure if Exit International accept a reciprocal Pegasos subscription to access their services. I won't have anyone going with me, my family have all refused, so I will need an Exit International volunteer. Can anyone tell me about the process please. Thank you.

I tried to DIY it and it failed in June. I used exit bag and was hospitalized in inpatient psych.

Pegasos accepts tinnitus as a reason and they speak English. Call them.