Suicidal

[Brian P]

Yeah, I don't believe the inflammation explanation anymore. The vaccine has either damaged the hair cells or damaged the nerve IMO. I have had zero improvement over the last 5 months, even worse in fact, if there was inflammation surely that would very slowly improve symptoms not make them worse. Maybe some were lucky to just get inflammation but I really don't think I was.

Maybe but if the inflammation is ongoing from the stupid antibodies your body is producing, then maybe it will calm down. My issues didn't start until about 2 weeks post vaccine, first shot.

 

[Brian P]

Fuck this shit so much. If it wasn't full of a ton of sound effects all over my right ear like warbling gobblty goob and the bass rhythmic vibraphone like droning I'd be ok.

Fuck do I ever miss this just being ringing and static. SO. Much.

If it gets worse it's a matter of when not if.

To catch COVID-19 or get worse off the vaxx. The fuck do I do?

And I seem to be the only one who gets such intense side effects from head tapping. Every time I do it, I'm left with my single tinnitus tone (which is only annoying), but then the wave of sound, like a rising tide comes in for about a two minutes at epic volumes, then back to the old baseline suicidal level as opposed to the I'd blow my head off if it stays much longer level.

I'm like an enigma.

Did you get the vaccine yet? I'd take my chances with COVID-19 honestly.

 

[Brian P]

I can't believe this. Someone is playing music outside and it doesn't sound like music. Only ringing. Is this distortion? I don't believe this shit.

 

[Jerad]

What is causing the spreading effect, and can it be stopped? In my case, I gained many new tones and increased volume because of loudness hyperacusis and shocks from trivial noise. There are quite a few others with the same experience, and there are those who got a lot better after treating the hyperacusis with sound therapy.

If hyperacusis is not at play here, there must be some other driving force behind it.

I developed 2 new tones since taking my last shower. I have loudness hyperacusis, too. I used earplugs and all, but I attribute the new tones to either that (the shower) or some supplements. Because, even with plugs, some of the sounds are aggravating in the shower. Or it could be the NAC and Magnesium I took later in the day. Idk. With these conditions, it's often hard to know for sure what's causing what because they're so erratic and unpredictable. My new tone in my right ear is a wavering ring that basically oscillates like eee-uhh-eee-uhh. It's not always paced the same, though, which is annoying. So it's oscillation qualities vary and are inconsistent. These type of tones scare me because they're not as easy to habituate to. If no pattern is present, it just adds complications to habituation, I think. The second tone is in my left ear and is kind of a ringing morse code. I think this one had previously died down and it's like it came back to life. Or came back, but a little different.

Do you find that new tones eventually fade? Is there a time window usually to how long they last?

 

[dan]

To catch COVID-19 or get worse off the vaxx. The fuck do I do?

Everyone had COVID-19 already... Unless you live in Antarctica, you've already been exposed to it.

By the way I measured my fart the other day, it was 90 decibels.

 

[Jon R.]

I can't believe this. Someone is playing music outside and it doesn't sound like music. Only ringing. Is this distortion? I don't believe this shit.

I can no longer enjoy music, just sounds a loud ringing hiss, like a dentist drill mixed with shaken maracas. Music and radio was my life, also digitising and cleaning up vinyl records, I can no longer do that. My hearing always sounds like it needs to be sandpapered to clear it. I want to rip my damn ears off. Can't believe how perfect my hearing was prior to this.

 

[Stacken77]

Do you find that new tones eventually fade? Is there a time window usually to how long they last?

I had a time, I guess it lasted about two months, where I would develop new tones very easily. I remember I could count up to 10 tones spanning both ears. When I count today, I have around 4 or 5, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. I believe tones can come and go with time; what ultimately drives distress is objective volume of the tinnitus, not necessarily the number of tones.

Wish you well,
Stacken

 

[Wrfortiscue]

I had a time, I guess it lasted about two months, where I would develop new tones very easily. I remember I could count up to 10 tones spanning both ears. When I count today, I have around 4 or 5, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. I believe tones can come and go with time; what ultimately drives distress is objective volume of the tinnitus, not necessarily the number of tones.

Wish you well,
Stacken

What causes distress for me is a new tone, tone changes behavior in a negative aspect (goes haywire or more intrusive). Louder tinnitus just means a spike and I know they usually go down.

 

[Stacken77]

Louder tinnitus just means a spike and I know they usually go down.

If the spikes are temporary that is. I completely understand, as a new tone means another round of trying to habituate, but as I see it, I would easily take thousands of tones on low volume, than having one tone that is very loud and intrusive, if you get my point. Without volume, tinnitus as a problem wouldn't exist. But that's just my way of seeing it.

Wish you well, man.
Stacken

 

[Wrfortiscue]

If the spikes are temporary that is. I completely understand, as a new tone means another round of trying to habituate, but as I see it, I would easily take thousands of tones on low volume, than having one tone that is very loud and intrusive, if you get my point. Without volume, tinnitus as a problem wouldn't exist. But that's just my way of seeing it.

Wish you well, man.
Stacken

You're not wrong... I had a terrible spike of straight loud tone tinnitus last week and it was horrid. Once you have LOUD multi tone intrusive tinnitus it's pretty much over

That is not me yet btw.

 

[Exit]

Everyone had COVID-19 already... Unless you live in Antarctica, you've already been exposed to it.

By the way I measured my fart the other day, it was 90 decibels.

You should fart into a pillow then...

I'm pure as a baby's butt

No COVID-19 here

How are you doing Dan...?

 

[dan]

You should fart into a pillow then...

I'm pure as a baby's butt

No COVID-19 here

How are you doing Dan...?

I'm OK thanks. I use Peltor X5 when I feel a loud one coming because I eat half a garlic a day, COVID-19 bring it on bitch!

 

[Ava Lugo]

I can no longer enjoy music, just sounds a loud ringing hiss, like a dentist drill mixed with shaken maracas. Music and radio was my life, also digitising and cleaning up vinyl records, I can no longer do that. My hearing always sounds like it needs to be sandpapered to clear it. I want to rip my damn ears off. Can't believe how perfect my hearing was prior to this.

It's so devestating to lose music. I completely understand.

 

[guenguer]

I hate this so much. All I did was decide to take the COVID-19 vaccine and I now have zero quality of life left. 3 tones of tinnitus, distorted hearing, reactive tinnitus, shrill cicadas, rumbling hum penetrating my ear, an intense eeeee sound, 24/7. I used to only have the rumble sound for 4 weeks whenever I had a cold before this began, now I have THREE damn tones including that one, for 5+ months now. My enjoyment of music and radio and movies, all gone, no silence, no quietness even. Why can't doctors tell me what happened to me.

Only 3 tones? Let's hope you won't develop 6-10 tones. For 20 years. Oh, and quite a bunch of hearing loss, deaf over 4 kHz... Reactive tinnitus. Of course. Combination and intensity varies every hour or minutes. Depends. The baseline is like 100 out of ten since 2018.

Yep, sucks. Throw in visual snow with all its symptoms, and a neuromuscular disease affecting hands, legs, face, vestibulochochlearis nerve, so vestibular system and hearing... Bunch of other things like pain and whatnot...

Looking forward to always worsening everything of it. No way to stop it from progressing.

Did I win?

 

[Wrfortiscue]

Only 3 tones? Let's hope you won't develop 6-10 tones. For 20 years. Oh, and quite a bunch of hearing loss, deaf over 4 kHz... Reactive tinnitus. Of course. Combination and intensity varies every hour or minutes. Depends. The baseline is like 100 out of ten since 2018.

Yep, sucks. Throw in visual snow with all its symptoms, and a neuromuscular disease affecting hands, legs, face, vestibulochochlearis nerve, so vestibular system and hearing... Bunch of other things like pain and whatnot...

Looking forward to always worsening everything of it. No way to stop it from progressing.

Did I win?

Bro you made me appreciate my 4 tone loud reactive tinnitus lol.

 

[AnthonyMcDonald]

I have been experiencing suicidal severe tinnitus and hyperacusis for a month after worsening. 4 months overall.

It started in the middle of July. I was flying back from America to Russia and listening to ear buds on the plane. A day later the tinnitus appeared from nothing (seemingly starting from 0 and ramping up to loud). It was constant. Hyperacusis appeared at the same time.

I have had previous exposures to noise, too many to count. I never protected my hearing. I went to concerts and music festivals, without hearing protection. In my childhood my mother took me & my brother to numerous concerts and events with loud speakers that caused me physical pain, but never any ringing in the ears. I went to bars and clubs with loud music. Though, not as much as my peers. I used to love karaoke and went a few times in the year leading up to my condition. Noise, absolutely everywhere. Parties. Singing lessons. Concerts. Playing the piano, etc.

When everything first appeared I could say that it was moderate. I could leave the house without hearing protection, for example, to go to the store or to go walk in the park. Of course I would cover my ears every time a car drove by, or something of that sort. I did not protect my ears enough, though. I would walk in the city center sometimes only with flimsy ear plugs, and I would ride on electrical scooters sometimes taking off the ear plugs. I protected my ears in what I thought was "good enough". Oh how I was wrong.

I hadn't noticed any worsening at all for about 2-3 months. I even traveled to a spa hotel, and traveled to Moscow (on a plane - with double protection) and spent time in the capital with double protection everywhere.

I spent my entire days reading and researching about tinnitus and hyperacusis. At the time, my tinnitus was what caused me the most distress. It was very high pitched, and I could hear it absolutely over everything except the shower. I took numerous showers, ranging from 5-6 every day. The shower never really bothered my hyperacusis.

A month ago I went to get a haircut - Buzz cut. Mistake that cost me my life. In the weeks After the buzz cut, my tinnitus and hyperacusis progressively worsened. Constant sound exposure, like cabinets closing and dishes clanking also didn't help. My sound tolerance plummeted and my tinnitus went through the roof. Before I had Some times, maybe 20-30 seconds when I would forget about my tinnitus, but now it's debilitating and excruciatingly loud. I cannot think about anything else besides my tinnitus and hyperacusis. It is impossible to mask, and impossible to ignore.

My hyperacusis has become extremely severe. I cannot speak, I cannot eat, I cannot swallow. I cannot walk on the hardwood floor, the cracking is too much to bear. I cannot listen to conversations. Whispering is too loud for me. The only way I can communicate is by barely whispering at all. It is more like mouth movements, and people have to strain to hear me. Before, I was worried about not being able to travel, to go to events. Now I am suffering to such a degree that I don't care about all that anymore. The only thing I care about is relief. I don't care about my life. I just want relief. I am in suicidal levels of pain because of my hyperacusis, even shifting bedsheets cause my head to explode. My ears are constantly raw and feel like someone is screaming directly into them, even in silence. Recently I have been getting symptoms of deep inner ear aches, that last a few seconds. I cannot bear having pain hyperacusis on top of loudness hyperacusis. My life is full of pain and suffering, and it's not fair that I was "lucky" enough to be stuck with this horrible condition.

I have tried sound therapy with pink noise and white noise to treat my tinnitus but to no avail. It did not help. I have tried hearing aids, but they are too loud. I do not know what to do, and all I do all day is think about how death would relieve my suffering. I do not want to die, I cannot fathom the pain it would cause my loved ones. But I cannot endure this suffering for much longer. I have done a lot of research, and my case is extremely severe and much worse than most poeple. I have never seen a case as bad as mine recover.

Please someone say they have seen a case as bad as mine recover somewhat to be able to live. I don't want to die.

 

[Wrfortiscue]

I have been experiencing suicidal severe tinnitus and hyperacusis for a month after worsening. 4 months overall.

It started in the middle of July. I was flying back from America to Russia and listening to ear buds on the plane. A day later the tinnitus appeared from nothing (seemingly starting from 0 and ramping up to loud). It was constant. Hyperacusis appeared at the same time.

I have had previous exposures to noise, too many to count. I never protected my hearing. I went to concerts and music festivals, without hearing protection. In my childhood my mother took me & my brother to numerous concerts and events with loud speakers that caused me physical pain, but never any ringing in the ears. I went to bars and clubs with loud music. Though, not as much as my peers. I used to love karaoke and went a few times in the year leading up to my condition. Noise, absolutely everywhere. Parties. Singing lessons. Concerts. Playing the piano, etc.

When everything first appeared I could say that it was moderate. I could leave the house without hearing protection, for example, to go to the store or to go walk in the park. Of course I would cover my ears every time a car drove by, or something of that sort. I did not protect my ears enough, though. I would walk in the city center sometimes only with flimsy ear plugs, and I would ride on electrical scooters sometimes taking off the ear plugs. I protected my ears in what I thought was "good enough". Oh how I was wrong.

I hadn't noticed any worsening at all for about 2-3 months. I even traveled to a spa hotel, and traveled to Moscow (on a plane - with double protection) and spent time in the capital with double protection everywhere.

I spent my entire days reading and researching about tinnitus and hyperacusis. At the time, my tinnitus was what caused me the most distress. It was very high pitched, and I could hear it absolutely over everything except the shower. I took numerous showers, ranging from 5-6 every day. The shower never really bothered my hyperacusis.

A month ago I went to get a haircut - Buzz cut. Mistake that cost me my life. In the weeks After the buzz cut, my tinnitus and hyperacusis progressively worsened. Constant sound exposure, like cabinets closing and dishes clanking also didn't help. My sound tolerance plummeted and my tinnitus went through the roof. Before I had Some times, maybe 20-30 seconds when I would forget about my tinnitus, but now it's debilitating and excruciatingly loud. I cannot think about anything else besides my tinnitus and hyperacusis. It is impossible to mask, and impossible to ignore.

My hyperacusis has become extremely severe. I cannot speak, I cannot eat, I cannot swallow. I cannot walk on the hardwood floor, the cracking is too much to bear. I cannot listen to conversations. Whispering is too loud for me. The only way I can communicate is by barely whispering at all. It is more like mouth movements, and people have to strain to hear me. Before, I was worried about not being able to travel, to go to events. Now I am suffering to such a degree that I don't care about all that anymore. The only thing I care about is relief. I don't care about my life. I just want relief. I am in suicidal levels of pain because of my hyperacusis, even shifting bedsheets cause my head to explode. My ears are constantly raw and feel like someone is screaming directly into them, even in silence. Recently I have been getting symptoms of deep inner ear aches, that last a few seconds. I cannot bear having pain hyperacusis on top of loudness hyperacusis. My life is full of pain and suffering, and it's not fair that I was "lucky" enough to be stuck with this horrible condition.

I have tried sound therapy with pink noise and white noise to treat my tinnitus but to no avail. It did not help. I have tried hearing aids, but they are too loud. I do not know what to do, and all I do all day is think about how death would relieve my suffering. I do not want to die, I cannot fathom the pain it would cause my loved ones. But I cannot endure this suffering for much longer. I have done a lot of research, and my case is extremely severe and much worse than most poeple. I have never seen a case as bad as mine recover.

Please someone say they have seen a case as bad as mine recover somewhat to be able to live. I don't want to die.

I would also like to see if someone has recovered as bad as you. Here's to hoping man, that sounds unbearable.

 

[Ollie]

I want to let you all know that I think/hope it's getting better. It's still the loudest thing I hear in the shower or driving etc. But whether I am habituating or it is indeed reducing in volume I don't know but don't care. 6 weeks now and it seems something has improved. It's there always and really loud but my head doesn't feel like it's vibrating with the tones anymore. It's still hell but I have to recognise I am feeling stronger.

Thanks in no small part to the support. I am not out of the woods but grateful.

 

[Ollie]

@AnthonyMcDonald, mate.

I hear you (no pun intended!)

I, like you have it debilitating. I've had it for 6 years then foolishly played in a band and didn't protect my hearing. It was really, really bad. Screaming and my head was vibrating.

Gun laws in the UK are strict and I'm glad because I'd have blown my brains out.

Good news is it's not as bad now. Habituation or otherwise who cares. Give it time. It's still the bane of my life but I don't think about blowing my brains out all the time now. 2 months so far. Hang in there pal. Trust me I was where you are.

 

[Wrfortiscue]

I want to let you all know that I think/hope it's getting better. It's still the loudest thing I hear in the shower or driving etc. But whether I am habituating or it is indeed reducing in volume I don't know but don't care. 6 weeks now and it seems something has improved. It's there always and really loud but my head doesn't feel like it's vibrating with the tones anymore. It's still hell but I have to recognise I am feeling stronger.

Thanks in no small part to the support. I am not out of the woods but grateful.

Keep it up. Keep building on it.

 

[AnthonyMcDonald]

@AnthonyMcDonald, mate.

I hear you (no pun intended!)

I, like you have it debilitating. I've had it for 6 years then foolishly played in a band and didn't protect my hearing. It was really, really bad. Screaming and my head was vibrating.

Gun laws in the UK are strict and I'm glad because I'd have blown my brains out.

Good news is it's not as bad now. Habituation or otherwise who cares. Give it time. It's still the bane of my life but I don't think about blowing my brains out all the time now. 2 months so far. Hang in there pal. Trust me I was where you are.

Thank you for the kind words, I am glad you are doing better. I do not see any improvement at all unfortunately, just constant permanent spikes. I tried sleeping with earplugs and it somehow made my tinnitus even louder and more unbearable.

I am mostly struggling with my hyperacusis now.

Do you have hyperacusis? How do you deal with it?

 

[Jon R.]

Only 3 tones? Let's hope you won't develop 6-10 tones. For 20 years. Oh, and quite a bunch of hearing loss, deaf over 4 kHz... Reactive tinnitus. Of course. Combination and intensity varies every hour or minutes. Depends. The baseline is like 100 out of ten since 2018.

Yep, sucks. Throw in visual snow with all its symptoms, and a neuromuscular disease affecting hands, legs, face, vestibulochochlearis nerve, so vestibular system and hearing... Bunch of other things like pain and whatnot...

Looking forward to always worsening everything of it. No way to stop it from progressing.

Did I win?

Well, you won, but for your interest I also have visual snow (had it since I was 19 in 1998, in fact my old forum post is still on the net somewhere on a health forum from back then before I knew the term, I called it static vision). I also have reactive tinnitus BTW and hyperacusis. The reactive tinnitus I have creates a loud dentist drill noise in my ear from all noises, so I can not mask my tinnitus. The hyperacusis makes everything sound like I have broken speaker ears. On top of other none ear health issues such as scoliosis and small fibre neuropathy. But yeah, I guess you win still, 6-10 tones beats me. Guess I am weaker as I am not going to be able to cope 20 years even with what I have.

 

[Wrfortiscue]

Well, you won, but for your interest I also have visual snow (had it since I was 19 in 1998, in fact my old forum post is still on the net somewhere on a health forum from back then before I knew the term, I called it static vision). I also have reactive tinnitus BTW and hyperacusis. The reactive tinnitus I have creates a loud dentist drill noise in my ear from all noises, so I can not mask my tinnitus. The hyperacusis makes everything sound like I have broken speaker ears. On top of other none ear health issues such as scoliosis and small fibre neuropathy. But yeah, I guess you win still, 6-10 tones beats me. Guess I am weaker as I am not going to be able to cope 20 years even with what I have.

Has there been any improvement at all? Mental improvement at least?

 

[GoatSheep]

I have been experiencing suicidal severe tinnitus and hyperacusis for a month after worsening. 4 months overall.

It started in the middle of July. I was flying back from America to Russia and listening to ear buds on the plane. A day later the tinnitus appeared from nothing (seemingly starting from 0 and ramping up to loud). It was constant. Hyperacusis appeared at the same time.

I have had previous exposures to noise, too many to count. I never protected my hearing. I went to concerts and music festivals, without hearing protection. In my childhood my mother took me & my brother to numerous concerts and events with loud speakers that caused me physical pain, but never any ringing in the ears. I went to bars and clubs with loud music. Though, not as much as my peers. I used to love karaoke and went a few times in the year leading up to my condition. Noise, absolutely everywhere. Parties. Singing lessons. Concerts. Playing the piano, etc.

When everything first appeared I could say that it was moderate. I could leave the house without hearing protection, for example, to go to the store or to go walk in the park. Of course I would cover my ears every time a car drove by, or something of that sort. I did not protect my ears enough, though. I would walk in the city center sometimes only with flimsy ear plugs, and I would ride on electrical scooters sometimes taking off the ear plugs. I protected my ears in what I thought was "good enough". Oh how I was wrong.

I hadn't noticed any worsening at all for about 2-3 months. I even traveled to a spa hotel, and traveled to Moscow (on a plane - with double protection) and spent time in the capital with double protection everywhere.

I spent my entire days reading and researching about tinnitus and hyperacusis. At the time, my tinnitus was what caused me the most distress. It was very high pitched, and I could hear it absolutely over everything except the shower. I took numerous showers, ranging from 5-6 every day. The shower never really bothered my hyperacusis.

A month ago I went to get a haircut - Buzz cut. Mistake that cost me my life. In the weeks After the buzz cut, my tinnitus and hyperacusis progressively worsened. Constant sound exposure, like cabinets closing and dishes clanking also didn't help. My sound tolerance plummeted and my tinnitus went through the roof. Before I had Some times, maybe 20-30 seconds when I would forget about my tinnitus, but now it's debilitating and excruciatingly loud. I cannot think about anything else besides my tinnitus and hyperacusis. It is impossible to mask, and impossible to ignore.

My hyperacusis has become extremely severe. I cannot speak, I cannot eat, I cannot swallow. I cannot walk on the hardwood floor, the cracking is too much to bear. I cannot listen to conversations. Whispering is too loud for me. The only way I can communicate is by barely whispering at all. It is more like mouth movements, and people have to strain to hear me. Before, I was worried about not being able to travel, to go to events. Now I am suffering to such a degree that I don't care about all that anymore. The only thing I care about is relief. I don't care about my life. I just want relief. I am in suicidal levels of pain because of my hyperacusis, even shifting bedsheets cause my head to explode. My ears are constantly raw and feel like someone is screaming directly into them, even in silence. Recently I have been getting symptoms of deep inner ear aches, that last a few seconds. I cannot bear having pain hyperacusis on top of loudness hyperacusis. My life is full of pain and suffering, and it's not fair that I was "lucky" enough to be stuck with this horrible condition.

I have tried sound therapy with pink noise and white noise to treat my tinnitus but to no avail. It did not help. I have tried hearing aids, but they are too loud. I do not know what to do, and all I do all day is think about how death would relieve my suffering. I do not want to die, I cannot fathom the pain it would cause my loved ones. But I cannot endure this suffering for much longer. I have done a lot of research, and my case is extremely severe and much worse than most poeple. I have never seen a case as bad as mine recover.

Please someone say they have seen a case as bad as mine recover somewhat to be able to live. I don't want to die.

Perhaps reach out to @Labyrinthine. I can't speak to his "recovery", but from his wall posts he seems to have improved considerably.

 

[Jon R.]

Has there been any improvement at all? Mental improvement at least?

Perhaps mentally, but over the last few months the hyperacusis and distorted hearing has got worse, which destroys my joy of life as everything I hear sounds so harsh as though it needs to be fine tuned, even when I talk myself things sound croaky and broken. Every time someone says something with an "s" in it I cringe as it cuts through my ears, everything is just so uncomfortable to hear, for the first 3 months it was primarily the 3 tones of tinnitus, but I have no idea why things progressed this way. God knows what is going on with me, the last 6 months have been awful.

How are things going with you now? Any improvement?

 

[Wrfortiscue]

Perhaps mentally, but over the last few months the hyperacusis and distorted hearing has got worse, which destroys my joy of life as everything I hear sounds so harsh as though it needs to be fine tuned, even when I talk myself things sound croaky and broken. Every time someone says something with an "s" in it I cringe as it cuts through my ears, everything is just so uncomfortable to hear, for the first 3 months it was primarily the 3 tones of tinnitus, but I have no idea why things progressed this way. God knows what is going on with me, the last 6 months have been awful.

How are things going with you now? Any improvement?

Damn, I'm sorry to hear that. Mainly mental improvements here as I had noise setbacks plus MRI worsened it.

 

[Exit]

I think it's about time to dust off the suicidal thread....

Giving a hug to everyone feeling blue today.

 

[Forever hopeful]

@AnthonyMcDonald, mate.

I hear you (no pun intended!)

I, like you have it debilitating. I've had it for 6 years then foolishly played in a band and didn't protect my hearing. It was really, really bad. Screaming and my head was vibrating.

Gun laws in the UK are strict and I'm glad because I'd have blown my brains out.

Good news is it's not as bad now. Habituation or otherwise who cares. Give it time. It's still the bane of my life but I don't think about blowing my brains out all the time now. 2 months so far. Hang in there pal. Trust me I was where you are.

Thanks for giving me a shred of hope. Has it improved or do you feel like you've just habituated to it? I guess in the end it doesn't matter as long as you're less bothered by it.

I've been having a terrible spike since July. I have had bilateral tinnitus on and off for the last year and a half. No measurable hearing loss and ENT is attributing it to TMJ which I have.

It's super high-pitched and I've been in what seems to be worsening to a permanent state for the last month. I might get a few quiet days here and there but generally speaking by mid day it revs up and it's super loud. It's quiet when I wake up in the morning but once I get up and start walking around and talking to the kids it just starts right up, which I guess does fall in line with the TMJ diagnosis. Unfortunately right now there's no availability of TMJ treaters so I'm out of luck in that regard.
It seems like eating a piece of toast spikes it. Again, the jaw thing.

Anyway I'm sitting in my car in the pouring rain In tears wondering how I am going to be able to live with this. I know I have to get through January because I'm taking my son to Disney and I have to do that for him. But I'm not sure how much longer I want to hang around if this is what my life is going to be like. And I live in the US where gun control is not so strict. Not that that would be my method. I've had tinnitus before for periods of time, like years, that's resolved. But I could always mask it. I can't mask this. It's so high pitched. Violet and pink noise does nothing for it except for irritate me.

How long did it take before you felt like you were getting better?

 

[Wrfortiscue]

Some days I'm great, other days I hate life lol. Need to get my mood fixed first and foremost.

 

[Stacken77]

Some days I'm great, other days I hate life lol. Need to get my mood fixed first and foremost.

I think that's a very natural reaction to what this disease does. I've had a few alright days now, and my optimism is trending upwards, but some days I'm really down, crying my eyes out, often due to a bad spike lasting multiple days.

Hang in there my friend. I'm holding out for hope that this insane trial shall pass someday.

In another time, another place, I hope we'll all be happier.