Suicidal

[AbeS]

What the actual fucking fuck! Damn this shit makes me mad!

Yeah I was pretty mad at the time too.

She actually was of great help to me before tinnitus with handling anxiety and other things, but totally clueless about tinnitus and hyperacusis.

I got the feeling that she thought of it like "the next thing he's obsessing over".

 

[PeteJ]

You're maybe unaware of the context, but our friend here seems to spike permanently to sounds as low as swallowing. To even pursue counseling at this point would be counterproductive since the tinnitus would spike permanently to the low level sound. What should one do at that point? I think your piece of advice is very applicable to a case of severe, yet stable, case of tinnitus and or hyperacusis, but reactivity of this severity...? I'd say, since all other avenues are exhausted, the only option that remains are complete silence as to not worsen the tinnitus further. All other approaches seems like a shot in the dark.

Wish you well,
Stacken

No, that guy is inaccurate as usual. It's a physical condition that contributes to mental symptoms. The only analogy I can think of is CTE.

But, tinnitus has a unique physical affect of both hearing/inner ear damage and an affect on the brain resulting in tinnitus symptoms which consequently contribute to mental anguish.

 

[PeteJ]

Yeah I was pretty mad at the time too.

She actually was of great help to me before tinnitus with handling anxiety and other things, but totally clueless about tinnitus and hyperacusis.

I got the feeling that she thought of it like "the next thing he's obsessing over".

So that doctor was totally useless.

If you can treat anxiety, then great - you don't need a doctor for that. There's lots of self-help resources online. But, the majority of doctors are absolutely heartless and clueless like I said before. They have no clue or insight on suffering tinnitus. Tinnitus is a condition only the sufferer has subjective affect. In other words, a doctor can't measure anything - only you hear/feel it.

I am not talking about researchers and so-called experts most people will never have contact with. Family doctors, ENTs and psychiatrists are mostly clueless, heartless and of no help whatsoever but they often increase your anxiety and frustrate you with their insensitive reactions.

 

[Chandler]

I wish I had a chance to change the tone of the tinnitus. I'm 27 years old. People around me are telling me to get a job. I don't know how to work with this sound. Please let a cure come out this year.

 

[Wrfortiscue]

I wish I had a chance to change the tone of the tinnitus. I'm 27 years old. People around me are telling me to get a job. I don't know how to work with this sound. Please let a cure come out this year.

No cure but I'm optimistic about treatments allowing people to get on with their lives.

 

[Gateway]

I've gotten a tinnitus spike after having jaw surgery to fix my underbite. My surgery was 22 days ago, it didn't start bothering me until about a week or so after.

I feel so stupid. I should have not risked it, because I had finally gotten to a place in my life where my previous tinnitus was manageable and I was actually feeling like a normal 20 year old for once. I don't know, I got too comfortable. I was gonna start college back this semester, but I just can't do it right now.

My mom doesn't understand how hard this is for me, and it's hard to find people to relate to this pain. I'm barely holding on right now, and my thoughts are getting dark. I'm praying after I heal more it will go back to pre surgery level. Maybe someone with a Christian perspective could give me some advice.

Is there any medicines I can take to help? With sleep? With anxiety? I don't wanna go down the benzo hole, but it's the only thing that takes the edge off.

 

[PeteJ]

No cure but I'm optimistic about treatments allowing people to get on with their lives.

What treatments? I would so welcome one that reduces tinnitus volume e.g. changes one's tinnitus from severe to mild - but, I can't foresee or imagine anything like that. Seems remote and practically a fantasy for tinnitus sufferers.

I don't follow the research and treatment sections anymore so I concede I am not in the loop in whatever is developing.

I think if a revolutionary new treatment was on the horizon, it would leak to other forum sections and more people would become optimistic. I don't see that here.

 

[PeteJ]

I've gotten a tinnitus spike after having jaw surgery to fix my underbite. My surgery was 22 days ago, it didn't start bothering me until about a week or so after.

I feel so stupid. I should have not risked it, because I had finally gotten to a place in my life where my previous tinnitus was manageable and I was actually feeling like a normal 20 year old for once. I don't know, I got too comfortable. I was gonna start college back this semester, but I just can't do it right now.

My mom doesn't understand how hard this is for me, and it's hard to find people to relate to this pain. I'm barely holding on right now, and my thoughts are getting dark. I'm praying after I heal more it will go back to pre surgery level. Maybe someone with a Christian perspective could give me some advice.

Is there any medicines I can take to help? With sleep? With anxiety? I don't wanna go down the benzo hole, but it's the only thing that takes the edge off.

Imho, that surgery doesn't sound like it causes any permanent damage wrt to your ears. I dare predict it can be a temporary spike. I hate visiting the dentist as any treatments result in a spike and there's absolutely nothing I can do. I do take Magnesium bisglycinate but that doesn't prevent the inevitable tinnitus spike.

Try to keep track of how long the spike lasts. I suppose the jaw is close to the ears that surgery contributed to a spike but jaw surgery doesn't typically affect hearing or injure the ear? There's a chance your spike should alleviate in time but tinnitus is an unpredictable animal, too. I don't like making promises.

 

[Wrfortiscue]

What treatments? I would so welcome one that reduces tinnitus volume e.g. changes one's tinnitus from severe to mild - but, I can't foresee or imagine anything like that. Seems remote and practically a fantasy for tinnitus sufferers.

I don't follow the research and treatment sections anymore so I concede I am not in the loop in whatever is developing.

I think if a revolutionary new treatment was on the horizon, it would leak to other forum sections and more people would become optimistic. I don't see that here.

Maybe some folks can chime in. I browse the research news section every now and then and I do see some optimistic people. Heck even a 20% decrease in loudness/tones/hyperacusis is huge.

 

[Exit]

Maybe some folks can chime in. I browse the research news section every now and then and I do see some optimistic people. Heck even a 20% decrease in loudness/tones/hyperacusis is huge.

I'm done with the research news too, but for anyone with more than 10 years to go, this summer we'll find out if OTO-313 and OTO-413 got some punch. If however they drag it out until November...

 

[Wrfortiscue]

I'm done with the research news too, but for anyone with more than 10 years to go, this summer we'll find out if OTO-313 and OTO-413 got some punch. If however they drag it out until November...

Yea I understand lol. False hope is still... hope haha. I'm still optimistic about it.

 

[guenguer]

You got other ailments on top of reactive tinnitus? That sucks. May I ask how you deal with such a debilitating tinnitus that interferes with your hearing? I'm 2 years in with severe tinnitus and I'm still very depressed but it doesn't surprise me anymore, just I mourn for the quiet tinnitus I had. I would cry tears of joy if it suddenly came back lol.

I don't. I can't. It's the sum of it all. ‍

If it would just be the, severe and surely hell of tinnitus, I could live with it.

Luckily VAD is now legal here in Germany too. Even more liberal than Swiss because you don't have to be sick/disabled. If there's anything physically wrong with your body, you can do it.

It's way cheaper, even basically free if you can prove that you are poor. Done at your own home, not in a foreign country in some random apartment. It's just for people living in Germany though (as far as I know).

Knowing this calms me a lot.

We'll see, I'll give myself around 3-5 years, maybe.

 

[Kriszti]

Luckily VAD is now legal here in Germany too. Even more liberal than Swiss because you don't have to be sick/disabled. If there's anything physically wrong with your body, you can do it.

It's way cheaper, even basically free if you can prove that you are poor. Done at your own home, not in a foreign country in some random apartment. It's just for people living in Germany though (as far as I know).

Knowing this calms me a lot.

We'll see, I'll give myself around 3-5 years, maybe.

Do you have to be a citizen too, or just living there is enough to qualify?

 

[AbeS]

So that doctor was totally useless.

If you can treat anxiety, then great - you don't need a doctor for that. There's lots of self-help resources online. But, the majority of doctors are absolutely heartless and clueless like I said before. They have no clue or insight on suffering tinnitus. Tinnitus is a condition only the sufferer has subjective affect. In other words, a doctor can't measure anything - only you hear/feel it.

I am not talking about researchers and so-called experts most people will never have contact with. Family doctors, ENTs and psychiatrists are mostly clueless, heartless and of no help whatsoever but they often increase your anxiety and frustrate you with their insensitive reactions.

I think you are right, and I can especially relate to that speaking to someone about this condition who don't understand it, and don't even want to understand, just makes you feel worse.

What a doctor don't know, doesn't exist. That's my experience.

 

[tpj]

I don't. I can't. It's the sum of it all. ‍

If it would just be the, severe and surely hell of tinnitus, I could live with it.

Luckily VAD is now legal here in Germany too. Even more liberal than Swiss because you don't have to be sick/disabled. If there's anything physically wrong with your body, you can do it.

It's way cheaper, even basically free if you can prove that you are poor. Done at your own home, not in a foreign country in some random apartment. It's just for people living in Germany though (as far as I know).

Knowing this calms me a lot.

We'll see, I'll give myself around 3-5 years, maybe.

I envy you so much that you have this in your country. We have VAD in Australia but you have to practically be on your death bed to get it. What I would give for enlightened policitians in this country. That calm you mention knowing it's available, that's what I desperately want.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

I don't. I can't. It's the sum of it all. ‍

If it would just be the, severe and surely hell of tinnitus, I could live with it.

Luckily VAD is now legal here in Germany too. Even more liberal than Swiss because you don't have to be sick/disabled. If there's anything physically wrong with your body, you can do it.

It's way cheaper, even basically free if you can prove that you are poor. Done at your own home, not in a foreign country in some random apartment. It's just for people living in Germany though (as far as I know).

Knowing this calms me a lot.

We'll see, I'll give myself around 3-5 years, maybe.

Interesting. Who provides VAD? Do they have a website? I'm intrigued.

 

[xyz]

I don't. I can't. It's the sum of it all. ‍

If it would just be the, severe and surely hell of tinnitus, I could live with it.

Luckily VAD is now legal here in Germany too. Even more liberal than Swiss because you don't have to be sick/disabled. If there's anything physically wrong with your body, you can do it.

It's way cheaper, even basically free if you can prove that you are poor. Done at your own home, not in a foreign country in some random apartment. It's just for people living in Germany though (as far as I know).

Knowing this calms me a lot.

We'll see, I'll give myself around 3-5 years, maybe.

Really surprising, I thought this was not allowed. But our highest court has ruled in 2020 "Everyone can decide for themselves when, for what reason and how to end life."

Interesting. Who provides VAD? Do they have a website? I'm intrigued.

This was the topmost Google result. But it's all in German. Maybe you can contact them and ask if you can become a member also when you are living in Denmark.

 

[guenguer]

Interesting. Who provides VAD? Do they have a website? I'm intrigued.

For now it's been private organizations, because the government didn't set up infrastructure for it. But it's been done by real doctors, also some states changed the medical professional code, so doctors don't have to worry.

www.dghs.de for example.

 

[Snake]

Almost 1.5 years after worsening by 2 acoustic traumas in 2020, no improvement whatsoever. Tinnitus is screaming and I feel that I'm at the end of the road

I have had tinnitus since 2011, I know how I should deal with it but it doesn't work. It's too loud, I can't, it's everywhere, it's higher pitched, I feel like my brain cells are dying from this shit.

The worst thing is that I could avoid both of them, during the first I should stop the dental procedure when I felt it's too much and during the second one... I could just not get drunk with anyone and the glass incident would be avoided. With tinnitus you need to be sober all the time and monitor the environment (and fking think what will happen in the next couple of seconds, think what you and others do. It's exhausting but you can't get your guard down, additionally when drunk you're unpredictable as well as other people that drink with you.) I could be like i was with my previous tinnitus now (which was bad too but I could distract myself) if not for this.

The guilt is through the roof, I just felt safe with other people for the first time and adding alcohol into the mix allowed myself to put my guard down too much. Fk this disease, condition or whatever people call it. FOR A NORMAL GUY IT WOULDN'T EVEN BE CONSIDERED A MISTAKE, OUR MISTAKES AREN'T NORMAL PEOPLE MISTAKES. I fell like our every move that isn't inside our house is a mistake ffs.

Also I get very strong urge to do something, to fight for my life, that it can't end like this, that at the age of 23/24 I should study or work or something, that I'm loosing my life. And a second after, it gets to me that I already died the day it happened. That I already lost my life. That it's too loud already to do anything. It's vicious cycle that I want to end. Why, why, why this curse doesnt have any treatment that works. How it's possible to suffer like that by your own brain. It's not a virus that's trying to kill you, it's your stupid brain.

I don't know what to do, I feel that I will end like others that lost this battle. Maybe I already lost.

 

[Exit]

Almost 1.5 years after worsening by 2 acoustic traumas in 2020, no improvement whatsoever. Tinnitus is screaming and I feel that I'm at the end of the road

I have had tinnitus since 2011, I know how I should deal with it but it doesn't work. It's too loud, I can't, it's everywhere, it's higher pitched, I feel like my brain cells are dying from this shit.

The worst thing is that I could avoid both of them, during the first I should stop the dental procedure when I felt it's too much and during the second one... I could just not get drunk with anyone and the glass incident would be avoided. With tinnitus you need to be sober all the time and monitor the environment (and fking think what will happen in the next couple of seconds, think what you and others do. It's exhausting but you can't get your guard down, additionally when drunk you're unpredictable as well as other people that drink with you.) I could be like i was with my previous tinnitus now (which was bad too but I could distract myself) if not for this.

The guilt is through the roof, I just felt safe with other people for the first time and adding alcohol into the mix allowed myself to put my guard down too much. Fk this disease, condition or whatever people call it. FOR A NORMAL GUY IT WOULDN'T EVEN BE CONSIDERED A MISTAKE, OUR MISTAKES AREN'T NORMAL PEOPLE MISTAKES. I fell like our every move that isn't inside our house is a mistake ffs.

Also I get very strong urge to do something, to fight for my life, that it can't end like this, that at the age of 23/24 I should study or work or something, that I'm loosing my life. And a second after, it gets to me that I already died the day it happened. That I already lost my life. That it's too loud already to do anything. It's vicious cycle that I want to end. Why, why, why this curse doesnt have any treatment that works. How it's possible to suffer like that by your own brain. It's not a virus that's trying to kill you, it's your stupid brain.

I don't know what to do, I feel that I will end like others that lost this battle. Maybe I already lost.

Thank you for this well written post.

You summarise very well how many feel, and they who not, should do everything to avoid becoming one.

I'm very sorry for your loss @Snake.

 

[TheDanishGirl]

Late night fireworks still going off. I am SO freaking tired of this piece of s*** world and all the selfish pricks in it! I don't know why the hell I keep sticking around... oh I know... because of humans' idiotic survival instinct, that's almost completely impossible to override. What a joke!

PLEASE... will a bus, a truck, cancer or a freaking comet not hit me soon and finish this pathetic existence!

 

[tpj]

Late night fireworks still going off. I am SO freaking tired of this piece of s*** world and all the selfish pricks in it! I don't know why the hell I keep sticking around... oh I know... because of humans' idiotic survival instinct, that's almost completely impossible to override. What a joke!

PLEASE... will a bus, a truck, cancer or a freaking comet not hit me soon and finish this pathetic existence!

This is exactly how I feel and you are right about that bloody survival instinct. Despite the torture, it's one of the reasons many of us are still here.

 

[PeteJ]

This is exactly how I feel and you are right about that bloody survival instinct. Despite the torture, it's one of the reasons many of us are still here.

Plus, imho, suicide is difficult to do. Yes, I know a lot do it but we only hear about those who manage to do it.

I can only imagine one scenario worse than my/our current condition and that's being disabled/disfigured (physically and/or cognitively) from a suicide attempt AND still having your tinnitus condition. It might even get worse from what you tried.

Maybe, you think your survival instinct prevents you more but for me (and I suspect many others), this fear of 'failing' and being significantly even worse after is what holds people back. At least, for the meantime.

 

[tpj]

Plus, imho, suicide is difficult to do. Yes, I know a lot do it but we only hear about those who manage to do it.

I can only imagine one scenario worse than my/our current condition and that's being disabled/disfigured (physically and/or cognitively) from a suicide attempt AND still having your tinnitus condition. It might even get worse from what you tried.

Maybe, you think your survival instinct prevents you more but for me (and I suspect many others), this fear of 'failing' and being significantly even worse after is what holds people back. At least, for the meantime.

I was thinking about that this morning, even before I read your post and I agree. The thought of being disabled after a failed suicide attempt and still having this tinnitus is beyond horrifying.

 

[AnthonyMcDonald]

Had a friend come over for a little while because I was feeling better. Of course now I have 300% permanent increased tinnitus volume and even worse hyperacusis just from the interactions. Oh, and my neighbor's stupid fucking toddler is stomping around again.

What a wonderful life.

 

[guenguer]

Plus, imho, suicide is difficult to do. Yes, I know a lot do it but we only hear about those who manage to do it.

I can only imagine one scenario worse than my/our current condition and that's being disabled/disfigured (physically and/or cognitively) from a suicide attempt AND still having your tinnitus condition. It might even get worse from what you tried.

Maybe, you think your survival instinct prevents you more but for me (and I suspect many others), this fear of 'failing' and being significantly even worse after is what holds people back. At least, for the meantime.

I'm disabled, what's your point? Little whiney aren't you?

 

[DocTors_94]

Had a friend come over for a little while because I was feeling better. Of course now I have 300% permanent increased tinnitus volume and even worse hyperacusis just from the interactions. Oh, and my neighbor's stupid fucking toddler is stomping around again.

What a wonderful life.

Hi, I am sorry to hear that. I got a question, when you said you felt better, did you mean your tinnitus had improved? Thanks.

 

[AnthonyMcDonald]

Hi, I am sorry to hear that. I got a question, when you said you felt better, did you mean your tinnitus had improved? Thanks.

My tinnitus did not improve. It stopped getting worse from every single sound so I relaxed a little bit. And got bitten in the ass for it.

 

[DocTors_94]

My tinnitus did not improve. It stopped getting worse from every single sound so I relaxed a little bit. And got bitten in the ass for it.

I am sorry to hear that... I hope it improves.

May I ask what did you do to stop the progression? Is it worsening again from everyday sounds?

Sorry that I am bombing you with questions... Thanks.

 

[PeteJ]

I'm disabled, what's your point? Little whiney aren't you?

Brain damage? Because various suicidal methods can result in that. You didn't understand my take?