So would I, but you know what 'it's just a noise' types are like.
Spoke to my parents about it. Apparently I'm insane and shouldn't spend €10,000 on a dignified exit. Just commit suicide instead as it's cheaper. My father is a stupid old bastard.
Sorry to hear they were so cold. Most people unless they are faced with this themselves just wouldn't understand. My own mother told me I should eat good food and look at birds. At least I have my legs!
I looked into this myself. Dignitas, at least, requires a year's notice and psychological evaluation. I used this information to explain to people that it was not a knee jerk idea and would be decided with the help of professionals. I even found one friend willing to go with me.
In my case, I wasn't allowed to apply until my divorce was final. My ex was/is a self centered douchebag who left me for being "inconsolable" over losing so much functional hearing--a few months into the ordeal no less. This is after he first accused me of making up my symptoms because "how could people with hearing loss hear some things louder?" Or have so many ear symptoms in general.
He told everyone that would listen that I must have developed a mental illness after my recent miscarriage. During this time, he also neglected me and would disappear a lot, sometimes for days. When he was around, he wouldn't touch me or even sit next to me on the sofa anymore and told me daily how selfish I was to "wallow" in suffering because that meant I was only thinking about myself. He would even (literally) yell at me for crying, telling me constant tears couldn't be real and also told me I was a mental lost cause who didn't put a "real" effort into things like CBT and positivity or developing new hobbies.
I bring him up because, for all of that, he indirectly saved my life. Not that he would care in the least. He would have had to sign off on my suicide and go with me unless we were divorced (takes a long time in my state) so that bought me time to regain hope in the form of upcoming regenerative medicine.
I hope you get the same hope. I believe they will solve rebuilding the cochlea, and the brain responding will follow. I'm not talking about masking or TRT but fixing the underlying pathology. I believe if you can hang on until that day, you will not regret it. That time left free from this pain will be worth it. I really believe that.
But ultimately, it is your choice.
I was previously a veterinarian. I know there is a time to consider quality of life above all. But if you choose to do it on your terms, with dignity, and hopefully a friend or two around, screw anyone who doesn't understand. But maybe the one year waiting period would buy you just a bit more time to see hope in regenerative therapy.
Regardless, (hug) to you and everyone facing the fear of it never getting better and the very difficult days every day. I think our time will come again through medical science. I just wish it didn't take so long.
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