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Suicidal

#2,581
PeteJ said:
That sounds nice and interesting but doesn't mean much to me. One, I don't know anyone in real life who has severe/loud tinnitus. Two, I think I am only still alive because I am afraid if my attempt fails and I am crippled. I am also afraid of death but it's further torture if the attempt fails. I also care for a dog but the loud tinnitus makes me want to pursue a method every day. I don't want to live anymore. I don't think I have anything to live for. Only my dog. I love my dog but if I knew someone I trusted and loves dogs, I would have this person care for her so I can end my suffering. It's so loud that I can't even concentrate or focus on routine things. I don't know how people who have insanely loud tinnitus commit suicide. If they have multiple screaming tones, I don't know how they do it.
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Pete just a tip from someone who is planning on suicide. You gotta accept it. Accept the tinnitus. Accept death. You'll be able to function then. As long as youre in a state of fight or flight youre crippled. Be at peace with the cards you were dealt. It's shit regardless. You can only lie to yourself so much, but god damn if it doesnt help.

Your tinnitus is loud, it makes life pointless. So be it. Accept it. You don't have to accept living like this, but you can reduce your anxiety so you can function again.
 
#2,583
Cool we're getting artsy!
 

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#2,584
My left ear is currently in a lot of pain. No loud noise did it. It has no fucking apparent cause AGAIN. I FUCKING HATE THIS and I am sorry to post this yet again. I know a couple of people replied to me the other day. But, I am not responding to it. Unless you have insanely loud tinnitus and a fucking useless ear that is in pain more than half the time, you don't know what it's like. Else, you wouldn't be saying I should accept it!
 
#2,586
acute said:
I wish it were easier to disappear from this world. But I don't have to be a coward and stay here. My entire head is full of noise.
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Mine too, but you do learn to live with it eventually. You are still early on in the game.
Look, I'm not saying it's a fun life, but it is not easy to disappear from this world... and you are young so you might enjoy silence if the drug comes out in the next 10 years...
 
#2,589
PeteJ said:
The other intangible is that the problem or damage in the ear is 'signaled'(?) to the brain and the claim that different parts of the brain are somehow involved or connected. It seems hopeless. I don't want to wait for something that sounds hopeless and probably unachievable. Especially if it's a long time
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If and when a drug that reverses hearing loss comes, rest assured it will quiet you tinnitus, perhaps you'd still hear it in a quiet room.

People with deafness who do not have tinnitus, their brain are very stable and don't make up phantom sounds to replace lost frequencies. But if hearing comes back in tinnitus brains, then neuroplasticity will revert back to old self.

That's why I laughed at @threefirefour joke about keeping regeneration pills in your pocket. Why? Because every time you lose some hearing, tinnitus will come back.
To be able to eradicate tinnitus from ever coming back, you would need to fix the brain.
 
#2,591
PeteJ said:
I had worse hyperacusis initially but I guess it improved somewhat. How long have you had it? I have had stretches in which my ear had pain for days and weeks. I think it was due to both hyperacusis and tmj and maybe an unknown cause, too... I dunno for sure.

It's possible your hyperacusis might improve/lessen. Quite a few people here have had their hyperacusis improve.
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I've had it since the beginning (January 2019). It was mild before, and i could pretty much continue my life, i.e. go to office, restaurants and stuff. But i guess it was too much for my ears to handle. It's pretty bad now for the past 3-4 months.
 
#2,592
RishRamsey said:
I've had it since the beginning (January 2019). It was mild before, and i could pretty much continue my life, i.e. go to office, restaurants and stuff. But i guess it was too much for my ears to handle. It's pretty bad now for the past 3-4 months.
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Elaborate? What actually happens? What activities do you presently do? What is a typical day like?
I have ear pain often. I have ear pain now. I was hoping it would have subsided a bit by the time I woke up. I don't know if it's from hyperacusis. It doesn't seem like it. The pain is also mostly located below my ear in the joint area with the boney part outside the ear and the joint there. I don't recall pain after a noise. But, I sometimes can attribute ear pain after a noise which happened last week. Maybe the pain is still there from that. When I get ear pain, it seems to last an overly long time. Combined with severe loud tinnitus, it is unbearable. It's hard to explain how bad it is.
 
#2,593
dan said:
If and when a drug that reverses hearing loss comes, rest assured it will quiet you tinnitus, perhaps you'd still hear it in a quiet room.

People with deafness who do not have tinnitus, their brain are very stable and don't make up phantom sounds to replace lost frequencies. But if hearing comes back in tinnitus brains, then neuroplasticity will revert back to old self.

That's why I laughed at @threefirefour joke about keeping regeneration pills in your pocket. Why? Because every time you lose some hearing, tinnitus will come back.
To be able to eradicate tinnitus from ever coming back, you would need to fix the brain.
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There is no reason, you couldn't repeat a treatment later. Especially with FX-322 which doesn't deplete support cells.

Also, if the Hough pill (aka "bomb blast pill") works as well as reported and is as completely safe as reported, I think it's something you could take after every unwanted noise exposure.
 
#2,594
PeteJ said:
Elaborate? What actually happens? What activities do you presently do? What is a typical day like?
I have ear pain often. I have ear pain now. I was hoping it would have subsided a bit by the time I woke up. I don't know if it's from hyperacusis. It doesn't seem like it. The pain is also mostly located below my ear in the joint area with the boney part outside the ear and the joint there. I don't recall pain after a noise. But, I sometimes can attribute ear pain after a noise which happened last week. Maybe the pain is still there from that. When I get ear pain, it seems to last an overly long time. Combined with severe loud tinnitus, it is unbearable. It's hard to explain how bad it is.
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I know others have suggested this before but have you seriously looked into TMJ?
 
#2,595
PeteJ said:
Elaborate? What actually happens? What activities do you presently do? What is a typical day like?
I have ear pain often. I have ear pain now. I was hoping it would have subsided a bit by the time I woke up. I don't know if it's from hyperacusis. It doesn't seem like it. The pain is also mostly located below my ear in the joint area with the boney part outside the ear and the joint there. I don't recall pain after a noise. But, I sometimes can attribute ear pain after a noise which happened last week. Maybe the pain is still there from that. When I get ear pain, it seems to last an overly long time. Combined with severe loud tinnitus, it is unbearable. It's hard to explain how bad it is.
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What happens is that when I wake up, and get up from the bed to go to the washroom, the sounds my slippers make while rubbing on the ground irritates me. Every sound is loud, louder than it should be. Then almost (if not all) every sound hurts. Higher frequency feels like someone stabbing in my ear canal/ ear drum with a prick. For ex- cutlery, news paper, bag of chips, elevator dings, notification sounds, microwave dings, door locks, window locks, people speaking (mainly women), horns, metal on metal, my own fucking supplement bottle. And these are all the sounds which are in my house that hurts. So you guess how much worse would it be to go outside.

I only go outside at night (with earplugs 32 dB). And if i need to go during the day, I'll double up. Even that isn't enough and sounds pass through it like anything.

So life's pretty fucked. Can't even think to mask tinnitus because my symptoms show up at as low as 45 dB. Hence sit at home most of the time with ear muffs. Go to office 3 days a week with musicians and cotton in the ears and sit in the most quietest of areas, go to cafeteria at a very odd hour with plugs.

So basically by the end of the day, with all these sounds, my ears are all burning and everything. And the usual sensitivity gets so bad that I can't even speak. My own voice hurts.
 
#2,596
RishRamsey said:
What happens is that when I wake up, and get up from the bed to go to the washroom, the sounds my slippers make while rubbing on the ground irritates me. Every sound is loud, louder than it should be. Then almost (if not all) every sound hurts. Higher frequency feels like someone stabbing in my ear canal/ ear drum with a prick. For ex- cutlery, news paper, bag of chips, elevator dings, notification sounds, microwave dings, door locks, window locks, people speaking (mainly women), horns, metal on metal, my own fucking supplement bottle. And these are all the sounds which are in my house that hurts. So you guess how much worse would it be to go outside.

I only go outside at night (with earplugs 32 dB). And if i need to go during the day, I'll double up. Even that isn't enough and sounds pass through it like anything.

So life's pretty fucked. Can't even think to mask tinnitus because my symptoms show up at as low as 45 dB. Hence sit at home most of the time with ear muffs. Go to office 3 days a week with musicians and cotton in the ears and sit in the most quietest of areas, go to cafeteria at a very odd hour with plugs.

So basically by the end of the day, with all these sounds, my ears are all burning and everything. And the usual sensitivity gets so bad that I can't even speak. My own voice hurts.
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That's pretty bad. I had a more minor form of hyperacusis before but it was still bad but not reactive to as many external sounds. How long does the pain last after an external sound causes pain? How long has your situation or condition been happening for? Has it changed at all during the time it first happened til now? Sorry if I asked this before. My brain is no longer reliable for what I will retain and what I won't.

My ear pain doesn't go away after it appears. It is bad for days and I have not kept track for how long and when it subsides. I have pain in the ear canal but on the lower part of my ear - I forget what it's called. But, also, immediately below my ear where the joint is. Some people think it might be TMJ but I don't know anyone here who have those exact symptoms. This is excruciating pain. Add screaming loud tinnitus and it's unbearable.
 
#2,597
FGG said:
I know others have suggested this before but have you seriously looked into TMJ?
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I asked my dentists and two don't think I have TMJ. If my physician knows what it is, he doesn't think I have TMJ. So no medical or dental professional thinks I have TMJ. It's a complete mystery why I have this. I am not considering my previous theory of dental grinding anymore because when I wake up, it's not any worse. In fact, I don't feel it right away immediately after waking up. The pain keeps returning and I am in excruciating pain for a long time before it subsides even a little. Even dentists will freeze your mouth and jaw so you don't feel pain after a filling. You can't get anything for this!
 
#2,598
PeteJ said:
I asked my dentists and two don't think I have TMJ. If my physician knows what it is, he doesn't think I have TMJ. So no medical or dental professional thinks I have TMJ. It's a complete mystery why I have this. I am not considering my previous theory of dental grinding anymore because when I wake up, it's not any worse. In fact, I don't feel it right away immediately after waking up. The pain keeps returning and I am in excruciating pain for a long time before it subsides even a little. Even dentists will freeze your mouth and jaw so you don't feel pain after a filling. You can't get anything for this!
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Your case is definitely one of the oddest ones I have read on here. It doesn't seem to classically fit any particular cause.

As far as TMJ, did they just feel your jaw or take x-rays? Sometimes you need high quality imaging like a dental cone beam CT to diagnose it (these aren't loud if I recall, I had it done just to fully rule TMJ out in my case).
 
#2,599
FGG said:
Your case is definitely one of the oddest ones I have read on here. It doesn't seem to classically fit any particular cause.

As far as TMJ, did they just feel your jaw or take x-rays? Sometimes you need high quality imaging like a dental cone beam CT to diagnose it (these aren't loud if I recall, I had it done just to fully rule TMJ out in my case).
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Xrays.

Yes, it is odd. It's what is so frustrating and distressing and the ear pain is the torture and torment on top of that.
 
#2,600
PeteJ said:
Xrays.

Yes, it is odd. It's what is so frustrating and distressing and the ear pain is the torture and torment on top of that.
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Not to be noisy, but are you older? There are some weird vascular things that can cause similar symptoms that tend to happen in older people. Some mentioned here:

https://academic.oup.com/brain/article/124/12/2347/455086#6830193

I think the next place to go might be a neurologist just to rule out some weird neuropathies.
 
#2,601
PeteJ said:
Xrays.

Yes, it is odd. It's what is so frustrating and distressing and the ear pain is the torture and torment on top of that.
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Hi Pete, it sucks that you have to deal with such intense ear pain. Hyperacusis can have symptoms that resemble TMJ (pain in the face, neck and jaw). You can read and see and see if it lines up with what you're experiencing: https://hyperacusisfocus.org/research/symptoms/
 
#2,605
MrCrybaby said:
Hi Pete, it sucks that you have to deal with such intense ear pain. Hyperacusis can have symptoms that resemble TMJ (pain in the face, neck and jaw). You can read and see and see if it lines up with what you're experiencing: https://hyperacusisfocus.org/research/symptoms/
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Some of it. But, TMJ lists the same symptoms?

* Pain continuing for days or even weeks after noise exposure.
* Pain radiating to outer ear and cheek
* Ear crackling (minor but it happens on occasion while I still have ear pain and discomfort)

But, TMJ can have that too?

My pain resides in the ear and radiates to the joint area outside the ear just below the ear where the bone connects to the cheek. So, I don't know if that indicates TMJ, hyperacusis or something else.
 
#2,606
#2,608
PeteJ said:
Some of it. But, TMJ lists the same symptoms?

* Pain continuing for days or even weeks after noise exposure.
* Pain radiating to outer ear and cheek
* Ear crackling (minor but it happens on occasion while I still have ear pain and discomfort)

But, TMJ can have that too?

My pain resides in the ear and radiates to the joint area outside the ear just below the ear where the bone connects to the cheek. So, I don't know if that indicates TMJ, hyperacusis or something else.
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Ruling out alternate causes is a good idea, brings sanity.

I have hyperacusis pain on one side and TMJ pain on both sides. I find that the hyperacusis pain feels "hotter" and originates strongly from the ear. My TMJ pain on the other hand has a "cooler", sore, and deeper quality that originates in the joint and surrounding muscles.

If it is strongly tied to hearing sound, originates in the ear, emerged at the same time as your tinnitus from acoustic trauma, and doctors have not been able to find another probable cause, it could very well be hyperacusis. Unfortunately there are no proper diagnostic tests because ear science is just starting to leave the dark ages, so you can only make an informed guess.
 
#2,609
People talk about Lenire and the ear drugs but does any of the researchers or experts talk about whether there is any hope to help severe loud tinnitus sufferers? I will probably be dead but I have a hard time believing anything they have or do will treat LOUD tinnitus.

I don't know why they can't freeze parts of our brain or use laser or locate the neurons firing or something. Supposedly drugs in the ear will repair nerve or hair cells in the hear and restore hearing but that's many years away. It might help young people but older ones are fcuked.
 
#2,610
It isn't possible for me to live with this much longer, 2 years 3 months no relief, none ever likely, thinking catastrophic thoughts a lot recently, feel very guilty leaving loved ones, plus obviously the risk of failure.
 

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