Suicidal

[PeteJ]

A new article on Glenn Mitchell's story published today:

Tinnitus from pub gig made life unbearable for retired fireman who committed suicide

His wife had to explicitly say that he "didn't want to die". Obviously, otherwise the public would say he was just mentally unstable.

Guess he relied on the NHS instead of the tinnitus community to seek advice.

Someone should collect these stories and when they have a large number of them, mass send them to doctors, ENTs and researchers.

I read the story but I think the pub night was just the "final straw," the trigger. Do firemen wear ear plugs? I suspect many of them don't. Those sirens are loud. I don't know if many of them get tinnitus but I wonder if the siren harms the ears of some of the workers. Then another noise finally causes the tinnitus?

I don't think people can be helped until there is a real treatment that the researchers come up with.

Seeing doctors doesn't help or do anything. It's pretty devastating when you discover that.

 

[Bill Bauer]

I would have habituated if mine had not kept worsening so long.

Have you been protecting your ears from all of the noise that feels too loud to you?

 

[GBB]

Today is pretty tough again - spike after lasering. Took a Xanax and am trying to just chill out but the noise is quite piercing now... I don't know why I do this to myself - just want some more improvement

 

[Chinmoku]

Have you been protecting your ears from all of the noise that feels too loud to you?

I have tried my best but with two kids it's hard. Maybe I was exposed to noise. After lockdown things have been very quiet though.

 

[TheBikeRinger]

I cannot live like this!

But I don't want to make everyone around me feel the same afterwards!

How can I explain the inexplicable?

I feel really sorry but enough is enough!

Jeremy

 

[TheBikeRinger]

It is a hard and challenging thing we have to go through with this tinnitus .I'll kindly ask you please do not give in to those thoughts. You're lovely wife and son needs you . Mr Jeremy

 

[Kriszti]

Venting, I'm sorry.

Nights are so very hard. The low hum returned, that's hellish and it's been present longer than ever. I'm starting to think that it's staying. It perfectly masks the bilateral high pitched tinnitus in my left ear, but in my right things got crazy. Developed a new windblow sound which comes and goes, and the normal high pitched sound went haywire. It's sharper, shriller, louder, more metallic.

What's good to one of my sounds, sets off the others, it's a can't win situation. Last time I had the low hum, I didn't have the high frequency sounds yet and now sometimes feels like my head is about to explode.

In my country, COVID-19 is raging after a pretty mild but economically devastating first wave and I'm extremely worried about my family. I only care about myself as far as tinnitus goes, just don't make it worse, but I'm worried sick for my family.

My 1 year anniversary of tinnitus is coming up soon and although I saw small improvements that I'm grateful for, overall I still can't cope and still feel that tinnitus ruined my life.

 

[Bill Arsenault]

Such a vague assertion means nothing to me.

Do they have mild tinnitus? What's their age? Mild and under 30? Okay, I accept your theory then.

Oh man.
This is pure Gold.

I will be waiting patiently today for someone to make a completely harmless observation around me and then I will pounce.

"DON'T... BE GIVING ME...
NONE OF YOUR...
VAGUE... MUTHERFUKIN...
ASSERTIONS!!!!".

"THAT SHIT... DON'T MEAN...
A GODDAMN
THING TO ME!!!"

"AND IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN...
THERE WILL BE NO WARNINGS...
SO MIND YOUR NECKS!!!"

Anyway-
Willing to bet that Bill B. was not expecting some psychopath to request a fucking spread sheet when he made his simple observation.

Which by the way - is highly accurate.

So I will spell it out for you moron.

Most people who experience habituation to any degree for the first time-
Almost invariably report on Tinnitus Talk as having it begin to happen right around the 2 1/2 year mark or so.

If you want deeper stats- dig them up yourself.

If this observation does not apply to you -
Then move the fuck along.
Don't shoot the messenger you piece of shit.

Sweet Jesus-
How do you log into a tinnitus forum and not expect to see vague assertions and speculation.

And then in pretty much the same breath that this knuckle head is calling out extremely helpful members of a tinnitus forum for making vague assertions -
He goes on to say that:

"proponents of habituation must not have severe tinnitus."

That's a little vague there creep.

But whatever -
We all know your weak ass game now -
Manipulation and Contradictions whenever any one says anything you don't want to hear or that opposes your views.

I would love nothing more than 5 minutes alone with you.

Anyway -
I already once wasted 15 minutes of my life that I will never get back listening to this fool arguing that no one's depression could ever be as debilitating for them as his tinnitus is for him.

Yet he has the ability to spew endless pages of nonsense while some one with severe depression has been curled up in a ball in bed for 3 weeks unable to summon enough motivation to even eat or shower themselves.

I will not miss my breakfast before work arguing with this maggot.

Have a good day all.

 

[PeteJ]

Oh man.
This is pure Gold.

I will be waiting patiently today for someone to make a completely harmless observation around me and then I will pounce.

"DON'T... BE GIVING ME...
NONE OF YOUR...
VAGUE... MUTHERFUKIN...
ASSERTIONS!!!!".

"THAT SHIT... DON'T MEAN...
A GODDAMN
THING TO ME!!!"

"AND IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN...
THERE WILL BE NO WARNINGS...
SO MIND YOUR NECKS!!!"

Anyway-
Willing to bet that Bill B. was not expecting some psychopath to request a fucking spread sheet when he made his simple observation.

Which by the way - is highly accurate.

So I will spell it out for you moron.

Most people who experience habituation to any degree for the first time-
Almost invariably report on Tinnitus Talk as having it begin to happen right around the 2 1/2 year mark or so.

If you want deeper stats- dig them up yourself.

If this observation does not apply to you -
Then move the fuck along.
Don't shoot the messenger you piece of shit.

Sweet Jesus-
How do you log into a tinnitus forum and not expect to see vague assertions and speculation.

And then in pretty much the same breath that this knuckle head is calling out extremely helpful members of a tinnitus forum for making vague assertions -
He goes on to say that:

"proponents of habituation must not have severe tinnitus."

That's a little vague there creep.

But whatever -
We all know your weak ass game now -
Manipulation and Contradictions whenever any one says anything you don't want to hear or that opposes your views.

I would love nothing more than 5 minutes alone with you.

Anyway -
I already once wasted 15 minutes of my life that I will never get back listening to this fool arguing that no one's depression could ever be as debilitating for them as his tinnitus is for him.

Yet he has the ability to spew endless pages of nonsense while some one with severe depression has been curled up in a ball in bed for 3 weeks unable to summon enough motivation to even eat or shower themselves.

I will not miss my breakfast before work arguing with this maggot.

Have a good day all.

I'll guess (from your rant) that you're around 19 y.o. and it contributes to your useless, pointless post. Have a nice day, Mr. Chuckles.

 

[PeteJ]

Both mild and bad cases of tinnitus and all ages. Having said that, this is based on people's posts on this forum. So it is impossible to get a sense of the fraction of the people who end up having this experience, except that the probability of that happening isn't negligible.

How bad is their tinnitus though?

I don't think it's severe. It doesn't make sense. I don't have to read posts from people to know mild tinnitus isn't as bad and people can habituate to it. Moderate tinnitus might be tolerable for some.

I don't care what the religious "habituation" zealots say. They have a screw loose. Imho, there's a lot of people who have psychological issues here and imho, their credibility is suspect so I don't believe everyone's claims blindly.

 

[DaveFromChicago]

PeteJ is entirely correct. I am now reaching 6 years and 10 months of this, and my capacity to habituate is crumbling. Especially since after all this time I have stopped anticipating that it will ever go completely away. Also, the latest utterly discouraging news from Dr. Shore about their trials not being finished until the end of 2021 (which is only the latest in a series of once promising but eventually such disappointing "treatments" that I have learned of ever since I got this).

I still wake up at 2AM with a high pitched air hose blasting in my left ear.
Yesterday afternoon I contracted a monstrously debilitating stomach flu, which frantically led me to analyze all of my myriad symptoms for assurance that I did not have COVID-19.

Add to this my increasing migraines (this always happens during the transition from summer to fall).

Although, it occurred to me that I could cope with all of these other conditions because they were either temporary or treatable; tinnitus has a relentless, unchangeable constancy.

Tinnitus is like one of those horrific Greek Myths (Tantalus, Sisyphus, etc.) that pins you down with your agony and naked, eternal helplessness.

 

[Bill Bauer]

How bad is their tinnitus though?

A number of people had posted here saying that they can still hear their tinnitus over the sound of a car on a highway (or in the moving subway car) [this seems to mean that their tinnitus is pretty loud], and that they felt better about 2-3 years after the onset...

 

[GBB]

PeteJ is entirely correct. I am now reaching 6 years and 10 months of this, and my capacity to habituate is crumbling. Especially since after all this time I have stopped anticipating that it will ever go completely away. Also, the latest utterly discouraging news from Dr. Shore about their trials not being finished until the end of 2021 (which is only the latest in a series of once promising but eventually such disappointing "treatments" that I have learned of ever since I got this).

I still wake up at 2AM with a high pitched air hose blasting in my left ear.
Yesterday afternoon I contracted a monstrously debilitating stomach flu, which frantically led me to analyze all of my myriad symptoms for assurance that I did not have COVID-19.

Add to this my increasing migraines (this always happens during the transition from summer to fall).

Although, it occurred to me that I could cope with all of these other conditions because they were either temporary or treatable; tinnitus has a relentless, unchangeable constancy.

Tinnitus is like one of those horrific Greek Myths (Tantalus, Sisyphus, etc.) that pins you down with your agony and naked, eternal helplessness.

I agree with you on the Greek myth thing - it seems designed to drive us mad. I can only keep looking ahead to the future and treatments that I hope will come.

 

[GBB]

I just walked to the front desk of the hotel I'm staying at to microwave a sandwich and now my ears are screaming like I just left a heavy metal concert. Wtf is this life...

Treatments/Therapies are literally my only hope.

 

[kamil1364]

Recently I have read story here about someone who had his tinnitus significantly worsened by noisy scissors used by hairdresser. Someone recommended him to go there and check those scissors with decibel meter (with his earplugs in).

You can habituate for sure, but how to live with it further while being careful about it not getting worse? (I am talking noise induced here). Stuff like I described above is so terrifying. You need to be careful about moderate (not to mention loud) sounds, and it's hard to exist in silence too. You can't live in environment with constant 50 decibel sound if you are willing to lead normal life (unless normal life for you means sitting at your house with white noise machine 24/7).

 

[PeteJ]

But, scissors noise????

Many noises are routine even if loud?

What if you live in a loud area? How do you deal with that if you can't move?

I am wondering if I am allowed to create a new thread? I want people who assert that they have SEVERE, LOUD, HIGH PITCHED tinnitus to reply and ask to be counted?

10/10 loudness volume or worse.

I am just curious about numbers. I assume that many of those are suicidal too or seriously think about suicide. That tinnitus is the main reason, specifically loud tinnitus. Being tortured by aggressive, multiple high pitched tones.

I think it might be interesting to get an idea of the numbers (#s; % of sufferers here). What do you think?

I also believe that habituation is the most difficult and unlikely for this severity of tinnitus.

I also wonder if people with tinnitus this loud and severe had a gradual worsening, maybe many spikes, temporary but also permanent spikes that eventually led to the severe/loud tinnitus tones they have today and whether certain events or noise exposures led to that. In other words, whether there were definite/clear events or if you can only guess on what happened?

Thoughts? I consider this in that category and it's this severity and loud volume that makes me want to commit suicide eventually. There's no cure or hope so just going day by day is pointless suffering. I don't believe the assurances of people who say some research treatment is "coming." I don't know what their tinnitus is like (few saying that ever describe in detail, their own) or why they're so optimistic and sure but I don't see any evidence on here. Just unsubstantiated assurances and optimism.

 

[PeteJ]

My tinnitus finally fluctuated for once. The volume significantly reduced temporarily but the reason was very interesting and odd.

I was at a Walmart and pulling out a grocery cart. They're always really stuck and while pulling one out, it caused a really loud, high pitched screeching sound! I was really mad and worried. But, while in the store, I couldn't hear my tinnitus. It's loud in there and my cart made noise but I can usually hear my tinnitus in grocery stores. It's usually that loud.

But, I couldn't hear it. It was great. When I finished shopping and left the store, I could hear faint tinnitus tones. Gradually but then suddenly, the loudness was back but it was quieter for about 5 minutes or a bit longer. An hour later, it's loud again. :-(

Is this something to do with neuromodulation or something?

I think it's interesting and wonder if this is what researchers are trying to figure out. If the inner ear could be repaired and your ears are exposed to the 'right' frequency/sound, could you somehow lower the tinnitus sounds/tones and hopefully keep it that way if the inner ear was repaired too?

What kind of "repair" would do it? Nerves? Hair cells? The improvement was short and it had to have been the loud noise but it has to be a certain frequency or certain sound. It can't just be any sound or noise.

But, the horrible tinnitus returned.

 

[GBB]

My tinnitus finally fluctuated for once. The volume significantly reduced temporarily but the reason was very interesting and odd.

I was at a Walmart and pulling out a grocery cart. They're always really stuck and while pulling one out, it caused a really loud, high pitched screeching sound! I was really mad and worried. But, while in the store, I couldn't hear my tinnitus. It's loud in there and my cart made noise but I can usually hear my tinnitus in grocery stores. It's usually that loud.

But, I couldn't hear it. It was great. When I finished shopping and left the store, I could hear faint tinnitus tones. Gradually but then suddenly, the loudness was back but it was quieter for about 5 minutes or a bit longer. An hour later, it's loud again. :-(

Is this something to do with neuromodulation or something?

I think it's interesting and wonder if this is what researchers are trying to figure out. If the inner ear could be repaired and your ears are exposed to the 'right' frequency/sound, could you somehow lower the tinnitus sounds/tones and hopefully keep it that way if the inner ear was repaired too?

What kind of "repair" would do it? Nerves? Hair cells? The improvement was short and it had to have been the loud noise but it has to be a certain frequency or certain sound. It can't just be any sound or noise.

But, the horrible tinnitus returned.

I have no scientific basis for believing the underlying mechanism is true, but I believe there is one success story on here where the author "reclaimed" the frequency of his tinnitus by playing similar notes on his piano and trying to stimulate his brain. Maybe it works on a similar principle.

 

[Kriszti]

@PeteJ

Maybe you experienced residual inhibition?

If I listen to a sound which is close to the frequency of my high pitched tinnitus, sometimes for a very short period of time, my tinnitus goes silent. Unfortunately, this doesn't work for me all the time.

 

[PeteJ]

@GBB, have you ever had anything like that? I suggest going to each grocery store and pull out a grocery cart. I am serious.

Maybe that sound frequency causes a temporary improvement. Even though it was really short, it was worth it. My right ear was in a bit of pain after but the tinnitus reduction was so worth it.

 

[PeteJ]

I have no scientific basis for believing the underlying mechanism is true, but I believe there is one success story on here where the author "reclaimed" the frequency of his tinnitus by playing similar notes on his piano and trying to stimulate his brain. Maybe it works on a similar principle.

But, I am wondering if the change will always be temporary unless there is a certain way to do it or a treatment that needs multiple variables?

 

[PeteJ]

@PeteJ

Maybe you experienced residual inhibition?

If I listen to a sound which is close to the frequency of my high pitched tinnitus, sometimes for a very short period of time, my tinnitus goes silent. Unfortunately, this doesn't work for me all the time.

Yeah, maybe. It was strange. The very few times it happened, it was random or by chance and I couldn't cause it, intentionally.

 

[GoatSheep]

@PeteJ

Maybe you experienced residual inhibition?

If I listen to a sound which is close to the frequency of my high pitched tinnitus, sometimes for a very short period of time, my tinnitus goes silent. Unfortunately, this doesn't work for me all the time.

It only ever worked for me when I first got tinnitus and the sound I had at the time was like crickets. I could listen to crickets on my phone and sometimes it would lessen the intrusiveness and make the sound perceived like it was environmental vs coming out of my ear.

 

[GBB]

@GBB, have you ever had anything like that? I suggest going to each grocery store and pull out a grocery cart. I am serious.

Maybe that sound frequency causes a temporary improvement. Even though it was really short, it was worth it. My right ear was in a bit of pain after but the tinnitus reduction was so worth it.

No but my tinnitus changes tone/texture/volume/ear multiple times a day so I don't think I could pin it down. I'd prob find an external stimulus that could help and my tinnitus would just morph again.

Impossible to habituate to this trickster son of a bitch.

 

[GBB]

Is anyone else terrified that they will hold out for hair cell regeneration / synapse repair drugs, and that after the procedure(s), they'll still have tinnitus? I know it's not good to get one's hopes up but I sort of need something to hang onto and this thought scares me more than anything...

 

[GoatSheep]

Is anyone else terrified that they will hold out for hair cell regeneration / synapse repair drugs, and that after the procedure(s), they'll still have tinnitus? I know it's not good to get one's hopes up but I sort of need something to hang onto and this thought scares me more than anything...

Yes, I'm sure lots of us are.

 

[dan]

My tinnitus finally fluctuated for once. The volume significantly reduced temporarily but the reason was very interesting and odd.

I was at a Walmart and pulling out a grocery cart. They're always really stuck and while pulling one out, it caused a really loud, high pitched screeching sound! I was really mad and worried. But, while in the store, I couldn't hear my tinnitus. It's loud in there and my cart made noise but I can usually hear my tinnitus in grocery stores. It's usually that loud.

But, I couldn't hear it. It was great. When I finished shopping and left the store, I could hear faint tinnitus tones. Gradually but then suddenly, the loudness was back but it was quieter for about 5 minutes or a bit longer. An hour later, it's loud again. :-(

Is this something to do with neuromodulation or something?

I think it's interesting and wonder if this is what researchers are trying to figure out. If the inner ear could be repaired and your ears are exposed to the 'right' frequency/sound, could you somehow lower the tinnitus sounds/tones and hopefully keep it that way if the inner ear was repaired too?

What kind of "repair" would do it? Nerves? Hair cells? The improvement was short and it had to have been the loud noise but it has to be a certain frequency or certain sound. It can't just be any sound or noise.

But, the horrible tinnitus returned.

What can I say, just keep doing what you did and try to repeat this phenomenon.
Was it the Walmart across Promenade Mall?

 

[GoatSheep]

Is anyone else terrified that they will hold out for hair cell regeneration / synapse repair drugs, and that after the procedure(s), they'll still have tinnitus? I know it's not good to get one's hopes up but I sort of need something to hang onto and this thought scares me more than anything...

It's not quite the same, but I have/had inner auditory canal osteomas (left ear still have one, right surgically removed last October). I had hoped the osteoma was applying pressure to the cochleovestibular nerve and thus causing my ear issues. There are documented cases of osteoma removal eliminating or reducing tinnitus. So I had a middle fossa craniotomy on my "worse" ear side. I woke up after surgery and immediately heard my tinnitus and knew it was all for naught. It was soul crushing.

 

[GBB]

The thing that concerns me is that even though my tinnitus does seem to be getting marginally lower, my reactivity seems higher.

For example, I drove myself to the doctor's office one month ago without any hearing protection, sat in the waiting room etc, as my tinnitus was blaring the whole time, but it didn't spike later on in the day.

Today I was driven by someone else while wearing Peltor muffs, was as careful as possible, and when I got home my tinnitus seemed as loud or louder than ever. It think it may subside back down, but it seems like I'm now more fragile which is freaking me out a bit. I don't understand why my reactivity is now through the roof when I've been protecting - I literally moved into a hotel to get quiet, don't use the phone or TV, use earplugs in the shower etc...

It's just really scary when your trend line seems to be moving in the wrong direction despite doing everything possible to keep it moving positive.

 

[Chinmoku]

It's just really scary when your trend line seems to be moving in the wrong direction despite doing everything possible to keep it moving positive.

I absolutely can relate to this. It's 2 am and I'm tortured in bed. Up to 3 months ago the night/sleep was my only refuge. I tried to do all the right things. I hope you are luckier than I have been.