Suicidal

[Kenilworth]

Just wondering how you cope while the tinnitus/hyperacusis makes you want to end it, permanently.

I'm on the same boat. I would love to know how someone copes with this nonsense! Just got my degree a while ago but reluctant to apply for any work because of this torture.

If someone had told me the negative effects of benzos on tinnitus I probably would not even be on Tinnitus Talk right now. I understand they help others and I'm glad they do, but for me it's been a downhill ever since I've been on and off them. I can't believe taking only 30 pills occasionally (within 2-3 months) at lowest dose could ruin 5 years of mild tinnitus. I never even asked to be on benzo, my GP suggested it would help with stress and sleep but never considered the fact that I have tinnitus. If only I could go back and appreciate my old tinnitus and not take any meds for anything.

Sorry. Just thought I should vent out. I feel better when I do.

 

[PeteJ]

I'm on the same boat. I would love to know how someone copes with this nonsense! Just got my degree a while ago but reluctant to apply for any work because of this torture.

If someone had told me the negative effects of benzos on tinnitus I probably would not even be on Tinnitus Talk right now. I understand they help others and I'm glad they do, but for me it's been a downhill ever since I've been on and off them. I can't believe taking only 30 pills occasionally (within 2-3 months) at lowest dose could ruin 5 years of mild tinnitus. I never even asked to be on benzo, my GP suggested it would help with stress and sleep but never considered the fact that I have tinnitus. If only I could go back and appreciate my old tinnitus and not take any meds for anything.

Sorry. Just thought I should vent out. I feel better when I do.

I can't even get benzos so can't even experience the benefits or negatives.

I have the same experiences of doctors and disability organizations not caring though.

 

[linearb]

@PeteJ has me on ignore as far as I know so someone should point out to him that there's a whole bunch of benzos which are used as drugs various places but not scheduled drugs in either the US or Canada, and thus they are both completely legal to import for personal reasons, and available from a wide variety of places that sell actual pharmaceutical preparations.

I'm not going to list names of substances or suppliers because I think anyone going down this road needs to do their own homework for all sorts of reasons, benzos are dangerous as hell, but the idea that someone living in North America "can't get them" is ridiculous because, again, there are multiple pharmaceutical benzos which are perfectly legal to import.

The UK is an even easier situation, I have friends over there who literally just click some buttons every month and get pharmaceutical Clonazepam delivered to their door. I have to jump through hoops and piss in a cup once a year for the privilege of driving to the pharmaco for mine.

 

[linearb]

but for me it's been a downhill ever since I've been on and off them. I can't believe taking only 30 pills occasionally (within 2-3 months) at lowest dose could ruin 5 years of mild tinnitus.

You're an outlier in this, by a lot, which probably isn't very reassurring.

What should be, is that benzo-modulated changes in tinnitus tend to regress back to baseline over a long period of time, but this can take months even when the duration of use was fairly short.

What is your alcohol use like, prior to, during and after your benzo mishap?

For what it's worth another person I know with no preexisting tinnitus is complaining about it 15 days after being off Xanax which he only took for a month. In his case he's completely unworried about it because he assumes it's going to go away over the next couple months, and statistically speaking he's much more likely to be right than not. The same applies to you.

Benzos get a bad rap for good reasons, but they're also some of the most commonly scripted drugs in the US and the reason that doctors are so happy to give them out, at least most places, is that for short term use they are generally very effective, well tolerated, and without any significant long term consequences. The drugs they replaced (barbiturates) were much more dangerous, but in turn safer than the drug they replaced (Chloral Hydrate), which was in turn safer than the drug it replaced (Bayer Heroin).

 

[Kenilworth]

What is your alcohol use like, prior to, during and after your benzo mishap?

I almost never consume any alcohol. In fact I haven't had any in two years.

What should be, is that benzo-modulated changes in tinnitus tend to regress back to baseline over a long period of time, but this can take months even when the duration of use was fairly short.

I agree. I understand these things take time.

 

[linearb]

I agree. I understand these things take time.

There's a lot of nonsense and mumbo jumbo out there about benzos, along with nuggets of truth. Having withdrawn a couple times after long term use, and being a long term user at present, it sounds to me like you have a good grip on things. There are laundry lists of supplements that have been tried for this (with a heavy crossover towards stuff that people try for tinnitus).

My personal advice would be to consider a high quality magnesium supplement (I also think this is generally good advice for anyone in a stressful state or having muscle tension issues) and actually breath or guided body scan meditations (plenty on YouTube; I like Jon Kabat-Zinn) because there's some evidence to support those things as being useful on a neurological level here. Other than that I'd stay off benzo boards, and the one thing I'd avoid for sure is Valerian Root because it's got some crossover with benzos. (Likewise Ambien and various other sleeping drugs).

 

[Kenilworth]

There's a lot of nonsense and mumbo jumbo out there about benzos, along with nuggets of truth. Having withdrawn a couple times after long term use, and being a long term user at present, it sounds to me like you have a good grip on things. There are laundry lists of supplements that have been tried for this (with a heavy crossover towards stuff that people try for tinnitus).

My personal advice would be to consider a high quality magnesium supplement (I also think this is generally good advice for anyone in a stressful state or having muscle tension issues) and actually breath or guided body scan meditations (plenty on YouTube; I like Jon Kabat-Zinn) because there's some evidence to support those things as being useful on a neurological level here. Other than that I'd stay off benzo boards, and the one thing I'd avoid for sure is Valerian Root because it's got some crossover with benzos. (Likewise Ambien and various other sleeping drugs).

Thank you very much. I appreciate the advice. I'm definitely taking notes. I'll be heading to a pharmacy store today and try those Magnesium supplements. On the bright side of things, I'm feeling positive this morning. I feel good about things even in these dark times.

 

[tpj]

I thought Valerian was safe for tinnitus sufferers.

 

[linearb]

I thought Valerian was safe for tinnitus sufferers.

I think it generally is but I would specifically (and, personally) avoid it during a benzo taper or for some period of time after withdrawal, because there's an interaction there.

 

[dan]

I can't even get benzos so can't even experience the benefits or negatives.

I have the same experiences of doctors and disability organizations not caring though.

I heard in Ontario they raised the threshold to qualify for disability... so it got much harder (blame Dougie).

My doctor in Ontario had no issues prescribing me benzos.

 

[Jazzer]

I was hit by a ton of bricks. Between the packing, moving, and processing of my divorce (which is officially filed), I kind of lost my mind for a few weeks -- it was already tortured before that.

Even though my wife and I were separated and she had no desire to reconcile (so I knew it was over), there was something about seeing her face once per week for groceries, medicine, etc. that made it feel less permanent. At the very end, it finally occurred to me that what I thought was the love of my life, was over. Period, permanent, no contact, etc.

It was devastating. I hard sobbed like a baby basically 24/7 and had nonstop suicidal thoughts. I sort of developed a suicide plan. I took a lot of benzos and somehow made it. Now I am getting acclimated in my parents' basement, which I'm still working at turning into a sound proof bubble. Very, very rough sledding.

How are you making out? How's the foot? Thanks for asking about me -- I appreciate it.

Heartbreaking.

Take care brother.

We all care for you.

There are times when life forces us to accept things that are totally unacceptable.
Know that you are a good person,
who deserves to feel loved.
Everybody here cares for you - period.

 

[wagen]

There's a lot of nonsense and mumbo jumbo out there about benzos, along with nuggets of truth. Having withdrawn a couple times after long term use, and being a long term user at present, it sounds to me like you have a good grip on things. There are laundry lists of supplements that have been tried for this (with a heavy crossover towards stuff that people try for tinnitus).

My personal advice would be to consider a high quality magnesium supplement (I also think this is generally good advice for anyone in a stressful state or having muscle tension issues) and actually breath or guided body scan meditations (plenty on YouTube; I like Jon Kabat-Zinn) because there's some evidence to support those things as being useful on a neurological level here. Other than that I'd stay off benzo boards, and the one thing I'd avoid for sure is Valerian Root because it's got some crossover with benzos. (Likewise Ambien and various other sleeping drugs).

Do you know why Valerian root is always to be avoided in relation to benzos?

I read about it a lot as a warning for people in withdrawal situations.

Thank you for any insights.

 

[Psych]

I don't know if this is going to be helpful. I always say I'll come here if I get better with this louder tinnitus (can hear it over most things).

Well, it's gotten to where I can go quite a while not even noticing it. So, there's that. It's so loud and constant that I didn't believe that could happen. So, there can definitely be hope.

Even a loud, obtrusive noise can be habituated to, though my approach is coupled with a lot of cognitive-behavioral work, when necessary.

I got quite a bit out of this YouTube video, if anyone is interested in the CBT approach:

 

[Dannyboy2]

I was on Lion's Mane for about 6 months when I developed catastrophic tinnitus. I believe it may have the ability to switch things on or off as it induces neuroplastic changes. After last night's insanity I decided to finish the Lion's Mane in my fridge (I haven't taken it in about 7 months).

I can't get Psilocybin where I am for now, though I have been begging people.

So Lion's Mane gave you tinnitus, right?

And has it at all got better? You never had it before taking Lion's Mane? Do you drink alcohol?

 

[GBB]

So Lion's Mane gave you tinnitus, right?

And has it at all got better? You never had it before taking Lion's Mane? Do you drink alcohol?

I can't state anything definitively but I think it played a part now. Not really any better, just different sounds.

 

[Exit]

@Zugzug, how's it going...?

 

[PeteJ]

Do you guys get spikes indoors in your homes? Dropping things? The TV (accidentally too loud) - stuff that would be perhaps irritating to someone else without tinnitus or with mild tinnitus - but for you, it contributes to a louder spike?

I am absolute f***ing tortured right now and that's saying a lot since it's always bad. But, now a spike from that.

The only things that spike it this bad are fire alarms, sirens outside and dental work.

But, this time indoors - a noise too loud.

I am just curious how it happens to others here who consider their tinnitus extra loud and severe.

I know spikes can last a while but I can't curb my anxiety. This is hell. :-(

It's also affecting both ears and brain. Usually, my right ear tinnitus is noticeably worse than the left.

 

[Mary97]

Hey Pete j, I'm 4 years into this and I am just now able not to freak the f out at every loud sound. I don't like loud sounds and they make me anxious, but I don't go into complete and utter panic every time...it took me 4years!! I've always been a little slow, what can I say? Hugs

 

[Stacken77]

Do you guys get spikes indoors in your homes? Dropping things? The TV (accidentally too loud) - stuff that would be perhaps irritating to someone else without tinnitus or with mild tinnitus - but for you, it contributes to a louder spike?

I am absolute f***ing tortured right now and that's saying a lot since it's always bad. But, now a spike from that.

The only things that spike it this bad are fire alarms, sirens outside and dental work.

But, this time indoors - a noise too loud.

I am just curious how it happens to others here who consider their tinnitus extra loud and severe.

I know spikes can last a while but I can't curb my anxiety. This is hell. :-(

It's also affecting both ears and brain. Usually, my right ear tinnitus is noticeably worse than the left.

I spike to everything except my heartbeat and breathing. It's kinda hard to deal with. My spikes usually recedes in 20 minutes to an hour, but over time my baseline has increased with all these spikes.

If you don't spike to literally everything, wont hearing protection indoors be able to mitigate it? If need be, you could set aside some time each day for some gentle sound enrichment, if the hearing protection makes you sensitive.

Stacken

 

[Kenilworth]

I am just curious how it happens to others here who consider their tinnitus extra loud and severe.

My tinnitus is so loud that i can't distinguish between spike and base. I have also developed high frequency hearing loss/reduction from taking and withdrawing meds which, i guess, made my tinnitus loud all the time.

 

[PeteJ]

My tinnitus is so loud that i can't distinguish between spike and base. I have also developed high frequency hearing loss/reduction from taking and withdrawing meds which, i guess, made my tinnitus loud all the time.

Damn! So horrible. Your tinnitus sounds similar to me. I refused to take meds for a while. Now, I accept to fill the prescription (only).

What meds do you take or did you take - if you mind sharing?

I err on the side of caution regarding meds or pills. I only take vitamins, including Magnesium bisglycinate and I have taken NAC before. Now, I only have enough $ to buy the Magnesium.

Edit: I get frequent headaches and I don't what to take for that.

 

[Kenilworth]

What meds do you take or did you take - if you mind sharing?

2016-2018: Zopiclone
2019: mostly free from meds
2020: Zopiclone (occasionally when I needed them)
2021: Alprazolam (BENZO!! ) for 2-3 months

Zopiclone, for me, was very good for sleep especially after having a long day. I stopped taking them mainly because of headaches and hyperacusis. Things were fine anyway until I started taking Benzos, which was recommended by GP for stress and tension.

Unfortunately, doctors here in South Africa (most of them) don't go through the meds they prescribe with their patients. No one told me the negative effects of benzos when not used properly. Like I said before, I only took 30 pills occasionally within 2-3 months at lowest dose and I was never told to taper slowly even when taking them for a short time.

After I stopped taking the benzos, I started getting new, strange sounds that reacted to external/background noise. They changed a mild (silent room) tinnitus to loud high pitched, hissing and tones that I hear all day everyday even In a loud traffic. To top it of, my hyperacusis went through the roof. I went back to Zopiclone which made this newly developed tinnitus even worse and tapering off those made me more suicidal. If only I knew how meds change the nature of tinnitus I probably would not be on this site.

The bright side of it all is that I get to meet new people/sufferers (like you) on this site that understands what I'm going through. Maybe one day we'll both be on the success story side of the site, who knows. Hopefully that day comes.

 

[Kenilworth]

What meds do you take

I'm taking "A. VOGAL" Natural herb formulation at the moment for sleep. It doesn't do much but it beats making my tinnitus worse than it already is.

 

[Exit]

I think ricin would calm us down a little bit...

 

[Zugzug]

@Zugzug, how's it going...?

Things got so much worse. Too bad to even share on here. My entire adult life has been a lie, as it the Earth is actually flat. I will not be trusting a partner anytime soon.

 

[Wrfortiscue]

I think ricin would calm us down a little bit...

How much of a dosage?

 

[Contrast]

My parent got her retirement money cut and I get no disability (denied 4 times in a row). They want me to reapply again now and I am not in the mood for this shit. Those fuckers actually believe I am able bodied.

 

[SD7]

My parent got her retirement money cut and I get no disability (denied 4 times in a row). They want me to reapply again now and I am not in the mood for this shit. Those fuckers actually believe I am able bodied.

Keep reapplying. Also, I'm glad your tinnitus is better and moreover although I'm new to this I've learned to much from your posts and am indebted.

 

[Exit]

How much of a dosage?

Just a tiny would do

 

[Exit]

Things got so much worse. Too bad to even share on here. My entire adult life has been a lie, as it the Earth is actually flat. I will not be trusting a partner anytime soon.

I'm so sorry Zug...

I'm not doing well either.
Just waiting for death.