Suicidal

To Lurius and The Danish Girl:

RIGHT ON - we do not need to hear absurd horror stories (reminiscent of those Rod Serling "Twilight Zone" episodes) about how tinnitus could follow us into Eternity.

It absolutely requires the functioning of ear organs, a brain, and a nervous system to have this condition.

It is indicative of a very serious break with Reality (not to mention flat out crazy) to speculate that this could be Eternal.
Also, the Easter bunny, Santa Claus, and the tooth fairy aren't real. Sorry if I ruined it for anyone.
 
I'm sorry some of you took offense at my post. I was just trying to give some perspective. That poor woman with machine guns going off in her head is suffering more than I can imagine and my own tinnitus/hearing loss/hyperacusis is pretty bad. To the brink and back saved her life, in a sense, and she was grateful for that insight. (The recent Tinnitus Talk Podcast episode is another helpful dose of perspective for anyone who is interested.)

For those of us who absolutely know Christ is alive, and absolutely know that we continue to exist after physical death; we look forward to death for reasons of joy, not relief. Perhaps those who choose not to believe simply cease to exist. That is one philosophical take on hell - the simple termination of sentient existence. I prefer that over the fire and brimstone curse of eternal damnation, and believe a loving God would as well. Choice alone is a sign of love.

Rather than try to change anyone's mind on the afterlife (I'm not into proselytizing) I'll only wish you all the best in your struggles with this horrible affliction and plead for you to hang in there. Some very promising research is happening and a true tinnitus cure is likely 5-10 years out. That may seem beyond reach to some but that's where new perspectives can help. You are not alone and YOUR LIFE IS PRECIOUS - even in the darkest moments. Peace and quiet to you, fellow sufferers.
 
Medical science has few cures for anything, especially neurological issues.

There are treatments which may allay some symptoms for a while but even these may come with serious side effects.

It is as if we are taking the wrong track by putting our faith in the present medical model run as it is by the profit motive.

Cures for cancer, tinnitus, Parkinson's etc are always 5 to 10 years away and probably always will be.

Sorry to be so negative but I can't take anymore false hope.
 
Medical science has few cures for anything, especially neurological issues.
Sorry to be so negative but I can't take anymore false hope.

On the contrary, I think you are being a realist, not negative. I read a newspaper article many years ago that helped to change my thoughts about tinnitus. It mentioned: 19 out of 20 medical conditions cannot be cured but many can be managed with medication, to help people to have some quality of life. At the moment tinnitus cannot be cured but fortunately there are treatments to help manage it.
 
How does one even habituate to these intermittent pausing sounds/tones? They have no predictability which in my experience makes it impossible for the brain to habituate to. What is even up with this beeping and pausing. Like the f***!!! Why!!!!! Why are you doing this?! At least give me consistency. I simply don't understand what is happening with all these intermittent sounds that pauses and even changes frequency. What the f*** is going on in there?! :(

My main consistent tinnitus that cannot be masked is soooooo much easier to deal with. This beeping and pausing makes me want to literally rip my head off.

Oh and am also so fed up with floaters and visual snow. Living with a snow globe in your vision is brutal. I am so tired of all this suffering. I'm broken down and crippled from it. I am going to try giving it 2-3 months to see if my new tone lowers a bit and/or my anxiety from it lowers just a little bit. If not, I will throw in the towel and take up regular drinking. That will keep me alive at least for a little bit. I don't care anymore. At this point it's just about buying whatever little time I can.
 
There is once again an obvious, glaring defect in Michael's commentary.

It consists in the fact that, while my Migraines are not "curable" (so that they will never reoccur), nonetheless the drug Maxalt will completely eliminate the pain when I have one.

When I have a tinnitus spike, there is nothing I can do to reduce or eliminate it except to wait for it's duration to be over.

I checked out the availability of any practitioners in the Chicago Area that actually do the Habituation TRT espoused by Michael Leigh / Jastroboff.

In the third largest city in the USA there was only one mentioned on-line, and they were in one of the out-of-sight wealthiest, hard-to-get-to North Shore suburbs.

I am curious about why, if this is so effective, it is utterly unavailable. I couldn't find it even if I wanted to try it.

Their Web Site appeared to be several years old, so I do not know if they even offer this anymore.

I was going to call them and ask, but why bother when the cost would be in excess of $6,000.00 (and Medicare and every Health Insurer will not cover any portion of this).

Even if I could find such a practitioner, my wife would exhibit a level of rage that could intimidate Godzilla if I even theorized about allocating this kind of money for this. I have thrown more than enough good money after bad (about $12,500.00) in an unavailing effort to find any sort of treatment.

For all of you who live in the UK, however, if your NHS will cover this, then you are in a position to evaluate its value for yourselves.
 
Unfortunately given the pressures on the NHS at the moment I don't think you would have a cat in hell's chance of getting TRT.
TRT is only available at certain NHS hospitals. Once a patient is referred to Audiology, they will usually be offered some form of treatment. This can be CBT, counselling, mindfulness, relaxation therapy classes, medication, hearing aids, white noise generators. One or a combination of these treatments can help a person to manage tinnitus better.
 
Unfortunately given the pressures on the NHS at the moment I don't think you would have a cat in hell's chance of getting TRT.
Thanks very much for this input.

I am always quite interested how those Health Care Systems from Western European Countries function.

What pressures, exactly, are you referring to? Budgetary considerations? Has their funding been reduced?
 
How does one even habituate to these intermittent pausing sounds/tones? They have no predictability which in my experience makes it impossible for the brain to habituate to. What is even up with this beeping and pausing. Like the f***!!! Why!!!!! Why are you doing this?! At least give me consistency. I simply don't understand what is happening with all these intermittent sounds that pauses and even changes frequency. What the f*** is going on in there?! :(

My main consistent tinnitus that cannot be masked is soooooo much easier to deal with. This beeping and pausing makes me want to literally rip my head off.

Oh and am also so fed up with floaters and visual snow. Living with a snow globe in your vision is brutal. I am so tired of all this suffering. I'm broken down and crippled from it. I am going to try giving it 2-3 months to see if my new tone lowers a bit and/or my anxiety from it lowers just a little bit. If not, I will throw in the towel and take up regular drinking. That will keep me alive at least for a little bit. I don't care anymore. At this point it's just about buying whatever little time I can.
Not sure if they can be habituated to honestly. I just deal with them, very annoying. I distract and keep busy. I would like to see if someone habituated to something similar.

Visual snow? That's just awful and I'm sorry.
 
Thanks very much, SD7.

I should have been aware of how overwhelmed the entire Medical World has been from COVID-19, and how difficult it is to seek out conventional procedures.
 
There is once again an obvious, glaring defect in Michael's commentary.

It consists in the fact that, while my Migraines are not "curable" (so that they will never reoccur), nonetheless the drug Maxalt will completely eliminate the pain when I have one.

When I have a tinnitus spike, there is nothing I can do to reduce or eliminate it except to wait for it's duration to be over.

I checked out the availability of any practitioners in the Chicago Area that actually do the Habituation TRT espoused by Michael Leigh / Jastroboff.

In the third largest city in the USA there was only one mentioned on-line, and they were in one of the out-of-sight wealthiest, hard-to-get-to North Shore suburbs.

I am curious about why, if this is so effective, it is utterly unavailable. I couldn't find it even if I wanted to try it.

Their Web Site appeared to be several years old, so I do not know if they even offer this anymore.

I was going to call them and ask, but why bother when the cost would be in excess of $6,000.00 (and Medicare and every Health Insurer will not cover any portion of this).

Even if I could find such a practitioner, my wife would exhibit a level of rage that could intimidate Godzilla if I even theorized about allocating this kind of money for this. I have thrown more than enough good money after bad (about $12,500.00) in an unavailing effort to find any sort of treatment.

For all of you who live in the UK, however, if your NHS will cover this, then you are in a position to evaluate its value for yourselves.
Because TRT doesn't work!
 
I don't think I can do this much longer.

Hyperacusis is getting worse, I am protecting more and more, and I recently started hearing like whistles and other sounds above the sound of ventilation and running water.

I also have slight visual snow but that is manageable for me at this point, but who knows if it will get worse...

OCD is hell, my thought patterns are f*cked and I don't feel like a functioning human being. I would need Sertralin as that has worked really well for me in the past, but the fear of worsening tinnitus keeps me from taking it.

Sleep is bad as well... I can be dead-tired when I go to sleep only to wake up 30 minutes later with horrible anxiety and without a chance to be able to fall asleep again before the early morning hours.

I'm also plagued by thoughts that I've wasted my youth in many ways and now the rest of my time will be wasted as well... self-contempt and being on the autism spectrum has ruined so much for me.

Suicide seems inevitable at this point. Death feels less and less frightening.

Sorry if the text is incoherent... I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.
 
I don't think I can do this much longer.

Hyperacusis is getting worse, I am protecting more and more, and I recently started hearing like whistles and other sounds above the sound of ventilation and running water.

I also have slight visual snow but that is manageable for me at this point, but who knows if it will get worse...

OCD is hell, my thought patterns are f*cked and I don't feel like a functioning human being. I would need Sertralin as that has worked really well for me in the past, but the fear of worsening tinnitus keeps me from taking it.

Sleep is bad as well... I can be dead-tired when I go to sleep only to wake up 30 minutes later with horrible anxiety and without a chance to be able to fall asleep again before the early morning hours.

I'm also plagued by thoughts that I've wasted my youth in many ways and now the rest of my time will be wasted as well... self-contempt and being on the autism spectrum has ruined so much for me.

Suicide seems inevitable at this point. Death feels less and less frightening.

Sorry if the text is incoherent... I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.
Don't worry. It is possible for hyperacusis to get better. How possible I don't know, but there are successes.
 
Don't worry. It is possible for hyperacusis to get better. How possible I don't know, but there are successes.
Yeah, loud tinnitus is way worse than hyperacusis. Hyperacusis can improve but loud tinnitus never improves. If you're lucky to get fluctuations, they're still only temporary and usually very brief.
 
@Michael Leigh, hello, I managed to get all my TRT audiology treatment on the NHS. Absolutely marvelous and couldn't fault them, including my in-ear sound generators.

I saw my audiologist within three weeks of being referred.
I am pleased for you @Eleanor89, and hope the treatment goes well for you. Keep up the positive vibe and involve yourself in things you like to do, as this will help you through the habituation process.

Take care and I wish you well.
Michael
 
Yeah, loud tinnitus is way worse than hyperacusis. Hyperacusis can improve but loud tinnitus never improves. If you're lucky to get fluctuations, they're still only temporary and usually very brief.
Loud tinnitus can improve.

I had loud tinnitus in 2016. By late 2018 I could barely hear it.

Unfortunately in November 21 I took the Pfizer jab and I'm back at square 1.

Don't let anyone tell you that loud tinnitus cannot lessen.
 
Loud tinnitus can improve.

I had loud tinnitus in 2016. By late 2018 I could barely hear it.

Unfortunately in November 21 I took the Pfizer jab and I'm back at square 1.

Don't let anyone tell you that loud tinnitus cannot lessen.
Did you have pulsatile or regular tinnitus?
 
Loud tinnitus can improve.

I had loud tinnitus in 2016. By late 2018 I could barely hear it.

Unfortunately in November 21 I took the Pfizer jab and I'm back at square 1.

Don't let anyone tell you that loud tinnitus cannot lessen.
What's the scientific explanation of why and how it would ever lessen?
 
I think it generally is but I would specifically (and, personally) avoid it during a benzo taper or for some period of time after withdrawal, because there's an interaction there.
I'm seriously having a very hard time with anxiety, panic, etc... can't seem to hear it and not feel constantly on edge.

Sleep is affected. My whole outlook is affected.

Don't want to down regulate my GABA receptors. Would Valerian be a good option for sleep and panic? I am scared of mainstream.
one thing I'd avoid for sure is Valerian Root because it's got some crossover with benzos. (Likewise Ambien and various other sleeping drugs).
I just read here you're saying to avoid Valerian.

Can you offer an alternative? It seems all supps that are gabaergic are going to have the same issue?
 

Log in or register to get the full forum benefits!

Register

Register on Tinnitus Talk for free!

Register Now