dolphinskin

dolphinskin

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  • dolphinskin
    I 1-5 minute bouts of ringing t several times a week recently but the pulsatile t is 24/7. Also get whirring sound in rt ear only for years
    dolphinskin
    I've been getting the typical t ringing on top of the pulsatile t in the same ear. Guess that shows I don't have t but pt for sure
    dolphinskin
    Determined I more than likely have pulsatile tinnitus. It's month 3. Out over 1k and still no help and no dx. I want to die every day.
    dolphinskin
    Dear God I hope this spike isn't permanent. I keep thinking about killing myself. This isn't living.
    AnthonyMcDonald
    I had a time of about 7 months where I spiked permanently from nothing or from things like crinkling a bag or chewing food through double protection. It got better for me and I don't spike anymore from those things.
    Charburchar
    I get similar thoughts when I go through spikes. Give it time, I know it's tough
    dolphinskin
    @AnthonyMcDonald I'm so glad that stuff doesn't spike you anymore! But man, the sheer amount of stuff that can do you in is insane!
    dolphinskin
    This awful toothpaste causing loud painful eardrum thumping and really bad t. Why don't any doctors tell you about this??
    dolphinskin
    Losing my mind seeing that the potassium nitrate in my toothpaste might be causing these horrible painful tinnitus spikes. Threw it away.
    dolphinskin
    Miserable. Was supposed to go on a surprise trip to Disney but my mom doesn't get that tinnitus doesn't just "get better".
    Damocles
    Our parents (and loved ones) coming to terms with the change, is almost worse than accepting it for ourselves.

    Eventually I was spared the pain of declining invitations, because people more or less forgot about me.

    It's bittersweet.
    Damocles
    That said, I've just seen you've only had T and H for a couple of months.

    In your case: keep declining those invitations (for now) and maybe in the future you'll be able to rejoin the living (because recovery).
    dolphinskin
    @Damocles about how long should I lay low? I have no idea what's safe and what isn't, and how long to try and baby my ears for. Everything seems dangerous now, I just read about how my sensitive teeth toothpaste might be causing these painful eardrum-thumping spikes?? Thanks a ton for your advice, I hope recovery is possible
    dolphinskin
    I wish VAD was more accessible. I wish more "sure" methods were accessible. My entire life people have made it known I'm not worth living.
    dolphinskin
    I had hope after two days. Then two weeks. Then a month. Now I see this is permanent. I can't live this way.
    View previous comments…
    dennis_me
    I can only confirm what @blamingeverything said. I'm 5 months in and I still struggle but i'm in a much, MUCH better place than in the first 2-3 months. I had really dark thoughts and I think the only thing that kept me alive was my mother, I cried every day endlessly thinking my life was over being 21. It will take some time but it's going to get better, I assure you
    Cory_
    Two months is NOTHING when it comes to recovering from hyperacusis.
    dolphinskin
    @Cory_ That's true. I'm not worried about hyperacusis at all honestly because I know I can overcome it. In the meantime it's just difficult and frustrating trying to avoid things that are too much and slowly expose myself to more. It's the tinnitus that terrifies me.
    dolphinskin
    The worst part is not knowing if a dog, kid, vacuum, lawnmower, going in a car or a plane, any of that stuff will permanently make it worse.
    View previous comments…
    dolphinskin
    Is there anyone you can go to or anything to figure out how to put earplugs in? I've never done it before and I've read about eardrums rupturing. No insurance for me so :( thank you very much for your kind words. My mom just got mad at me again for saying her crunching carrots was setting off my t and h and I need to leave. She gets extremely mad at me. It's hard to keep going.
    Cory_
    Foam earplugs? You're supposed to twizzle them up, slip them in and let them expand. Take them out slowly, letting the air escape from behind. Do not yank them out - I hurt my eardrums that way a bunch of times with them before T+H.
    dolphinskin
    @Cory_ I got Eargasm earplugs and tried looking up videos for how to do it, but it's all hidden behind a guy's hands what is happening haha. I am wondering how people even get them in and out, especially since in photos I see they seem to put them super deep inside. Thank you for the advice on the foam earplugs! I didn't know about having to pace taking them out.
    dolphinskin
    It isn't just abt the ringing now. It's also avoiding normal things for prevention. Like going out, using a work headset, being around kids.
    dolphinskin
    I'm not looking for anything, I guess just venting to people who get it. A relief from the suffering actually feels peaceful and not sad.
    dolphinskin
    I talk to almost no one about my constant pain bc I guess no one believes me. So for assisted death I will be on my own.
    dolphinskin
    Almost everyone around me is dismissive too and think I am crazy for t and loud noises upsetting me. Treat me as a nuisance.
    makeyourownluck
    I feel like this, fuck it though, I still bang on about it. One day they will get so fed up if my constant chat, they will be forced to quiet down.
    dolphinskin
    I also have a bloodflow issue w/mini stroke 1x, and trigeminal neuralgia that causes constant pain. Ofc the meds for it are ototoxic. Lmao.
    Steph1710
    Me too! I have a blood flow issue. I have venous stenosis of the lateral transverse sinuses in my head caused by intracranial pressure. I'm waiting for a stent to see if that will help. We got really lucky, having these issues and T & H on top! ;)
    dolphinskin
    Aaaaaa man I really hope the stent helps you!! The idea of it is scary to me, but hopefully it will really help you out! How did you find that stuff out btw, if you don't mind me asking? They told me to go to the hospital when I had an eye stroke but I don't have insurance, so GP took a guess and then did a $770 CT scan that came back clean.
    makeyourownluck
    They say an MRA & MRV are best for diagnosing vascular issues. They are very loud though, so might not be the best for you right now.
    dolphinskin
    This isn't living. I've seen success stories where it takes months or over a year to go away. I'm trying to keep up hope.
    dolphinskin
    I don't "just" have depression. I can't even leave the house. Or tolerate loud noises at all. Kid yelling outside spiked my t yesterday.
    dolphinskin
    Even if it's a lot of money, I figured maybe doing it the legal way would keep anyone from feeling guilty. Think it's hard to deny me.
    dolphinskin
    Got denied disability. Can't afford dr appts. Why should I keep trying when clearly the gov doesn't want me to.
    dolphinskin
    My vision is already bad enough I can't drive. Have PCS from concussion, all of the visual and cognitive effects. Now h and t.
    dolphinskin
    Have an eye condition that "may or may not" lead to blindness. Always thought at least I'd still be able to hear if I couldn't see. Ha.
    dolphinskin
    Keep thinking about medically-assisted death. I promised myself if things didn't become livable in a year, I'd make the arrangements.
    dolphinskin
    I've never used earplugs before in my life, but wanna start. How do you safely put them in?? Saw someone say their eardrum ruptured
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