weehiru
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  • Im sick of being made out to be that Im overreacting about something always in my perception. Its not like its something I can run away from
    SumGuy
    dang sorry to hear that, I thought it was getting better?
    weehiru
    @SumGuy it's getting better in my perception, actual volume isn't changing much I find.
    Made the unfortunate realisation that I might have hyperacusis from all of this :/ Find myself wincing and ears piercing at 70dB< :(
    Loud wedding band, brought my earplugs and I am so grateful. I don't care if I look stupid, the sound is peaking at around 90db+
    weehiru
    The wedding bus was so loud, and my ears were hurting then at 80db peak. so I wasn't taking any chances
    Pixelito
    Honestly, I have molded ear plugs and I still wouldn't go near any band.
    weehiru
    I was at the back of the wedding reception and took frequent smoke breaks so I don't think my ears were particularly damaged by it
    Just trying to accept my new normal, since life can't go back to the normal it once was. But learning to accept it has been incredibly hard.
    If the medical world wont listen to us, maybe Hollywood will and sensationalise it. Maybe then people will. Delusional thinking here though
    Varda
    They already made a movie about tinnitus:
    Baby Driver
    weehiru
    @Varda I don't feel like that movie touches on it empathetically enough
    Varda
    @weehiru Yes, there is a shocking dearth of empathy in our modern society today.
    I hope my film school training goes somewhere. Because I vow to you all I will make sure your stories and suffering is heard + portrayed
    I read that it's 10% up to 20% of people worldwide that have T. Yet we are no closer to a treatment at all+non-sufferers taking it seriously
    RunningMan
    Yeah, most of them are mild cases, just like mine was a few years ago, so it's brushed off by the public as "a little ringing sound" rather than the true suffering it really brings to the severe cases.
    crescentsky
    maybe im remembering incorrectly but i read 90% of those cases go away. so we are the 10% that are stuck in this hell.
    Utdmad89
    It's 1 in 7 have chronic T. And 1 in 6 of those have it severe in the UK
    So many people have this ailment yet the awareness brought to this is absolutely fuck all. I can't wrap my head around it, sincerely
    weehiru
    Sound of Metal made people aware about noise induced hearing loss. Maybe it's time for Hollywood to address tinnitus in the same way, maybe then we'll get some funding for research+treatments
    Pinhead
    I think a movie about an annoying, ever-present sound would include everything but the annoying, ever-present sound, unfortunately. It's astounding how alien this experience is to others. It can't really be communicated well.
    It's like I have a distorted rainshower in my head 24/7. Mic feedback. 2 or 3 tones at once. I can't even tell anymore man.
    Every time I try and keep up my positivity, I just nosedive right back into feeling empty again with this. I hate the hissing. So much.
    I just want people to know that I'm truly suffering, not brushed away with "you're strong, you'll get over it". I'm not. I'm empty rn.
    weehiru
    @gameover, I'm glad I have a space where people do understand :)
    Pixelito
    I was there, man. It does get better. Protect your ears. Have faith. Our stories sound similar, you just need time. There is light at the end of this tunnel.
    weehiru
    I know and trust there is going to be brighter days with this eventually, just feeling helpless right now unfortunately. Thank you for your kind words @Pixelito
    I wish people around me understood it's not "just ringing". But it's only perceived as that. And now I'm isolated from my loved ones.
    Is this typically just common 4 ppl with T for ear sensitivity? Or is this an indicator I might have hyperacusis? Because I hope I dont...
    Utdmad89
    What kind of pain is it?
    weehiru
    It's kind of like a throbbing in my ear, some sharp tingly pains. It doesn't happen always from loud noises though I've found, so maybe it is just normal pain from damage from acoustic exposure I've had
    weehiru
    Either way I'll monitor my symptoms for now. Cheers for this
    I was sitting on my lunch break and some REALLY COOL GUY IM SURE decided to rev past on his motorbike Now my right ear is hurting and tingly
    gameover
    I am so sorry.
    weehiru
    You weren't the moron on the dirtbike @gameover , no need to apologise :) But I know you are just being kind. Thank you
    Hi friend how are you doing so far?
    SumGuy
    I've noticed it going down as well. Im not sure if im getting used to it, or not but I rarely hear it in my everyday life. Mostly when I sleep on my ear now. I hope a few more weeks will clear this up
    weehiru
    That's great news to hear!! Rooting for you SumGuy
    SumGuy
    thanks buddy, I hope yours goes away too!
    Solitude used to be bliss for me after a busy day. One day I have hope that it will be again soon :) Trying to stay positive & determined !
    Had a good day today. Out and about, lots of distractions for me from the hissing. But as soon as I'm home its all I hear and fixate on :(
    this sound for the first time doesn't exactly put me in the mood to celebrate. Grinning and bearing it though.
    Whirlwind of emotions. Trying to latch onto positivity as I have been but I'm getting exhausted. Tomorrow I turn 24 and a birthday stuck w/+
    Had a spike yesterday caused by nothing. In a quiet room. Venting with my housemate. Feeling devoid of all positivity right now.
    weehiru
    I'm doing everything right. No headphones, no ototoxic medication, keeping away from loud noises, taking my vitamins. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. And yet this shit is killing my soul, man. How am I meant to live with this for the next 50+ years?
    Pixelito
    @weehiru It's going to take time. Random spikes are part of the game. Keep taking care of yourself, don't lose the hope and determination in your earlier updates.
    weehiru
    @Pixelito Thank you mate. I'll keep holding on to the determination I have as much as I can despite the challenges :)
    Been a shithouse day of realising my life is changed forever with this. Grieving the loss of music & being in the pit the most right now.
    weehiru
    What black metal act was it?

    Right in front of the speakers for me. Like an idiot. Drunk & high and not thinking properly unfortunately.
    Pinhead
    It was Mizmor. Not a huge fan but a friend of mine is. Too doom-y.
    Sound peaked at 113Db. Earplugs weren't enough. Total mistake.
    weehiru
    @Pinhead Were you wearing earplugs? What SNR/NRR were they?
    No matter how and what level you categorise your T at, we all still suffer similarly. Be empathetic & kind today friends.
    weehiru
    Similarly and "the same" are not precisely synonymous.
    Spiked again, but I am not rattled. Surprisingly. Slowly taking away the power this shit has over me. Just ringing.
    No anxiety. Just gratuity, hope and determination. I feel like my spirit is stronger despite the battle I'm facing. Life can't end for me.
    Dealing with my first spike in this journey after seeing some progress. But I'm not letting it kill my spirit! I refuse to.
    weehiru
    Yesterday was really alarming for me as my right ear was blaring. But it's back to a hiss and high rain shower again. Little wins.
    I'm either seeing major improvements in my perception of tinnitus, or that I am healing somewhat. The hissing isn't as loud.
    Utdmad89
    Thanks, my Nox luckily is mild atm, but it can get so much worse. If I'm honest there isn't near enough research going on for H/N for me to feel like there will be anything that helps anytime soon. Especially with people giving out harmful advice then gaslighting them for speaking out on it when it worsens them.
    weehiru
    I've definitely seen that harmful advice floating about here and the net in relation to H/N. If T is under-represented, in comparison to H/T it's basically unaddressed and ignored tenfold. Must be incredibly frustrating
    Utdmad89
    Yeah try and not listen to them, people like runningman think they are really severe and then he does loads of stuff that real severe people can't! Please just protect what you have now, and don't listen to the one's I'm sure you can tell who. I think you will be alright, as long as you protect yourself from now till there is real treatment. Spread the word about N/H if you can.
    it was an awful start to the day and I'm still awake now at 4:30 in the morning. But the anxiety isn't here. Just the ringing. I'm okay w/t
    I've noticed that the inside of my right ear hurts/is tender when I touch it... Confused right now.
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