Juliane
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  • I am worsening constantly now. No hope.
    L along the way
    Sorry.. i feel you.. what i say to myself is.. give yourself time.. pff.. trying to slow down, find some distractions, somehow untense as much as you possibly can (t i can't control, but somehow trying to find mindfulness calmth.. which more often than not i couldn't), and give yourself time..
    4Grace
    @Juliane - so sorry - i am with you at this moment. I feel and live this. I want to tell you comforting words. Something that would help you. What can we do.. how do we move forward.
    Juliane
    Someone I thought understood asked if my T is constant. Does she think I would suffer if it was not constant? I cannot do this anymore
    crescentsky
    the people around me think the same. they think it's like a brief few seconds of annoyance and everything is back to normal. They think we are all freaking out over nothing vs their issue (that is more important than T) that is easily fixed/managed by meds.
    gameover
    So sad @Juliane. It is a crazy condition. You were good and stable for so many years. One exposure and messed up. I went from all good to all bad right away. No warning. It seems once certain level is reached, it is only down from there, short of miracles.
    4Grace
    @Juliane - after 1.5 years my family telling me to take Mirt then I will be able to go to loud places and deal with the noise better. They don't want to hear it anymore yet I have been unable to have them truly understand. @gameover / it's true - just takes that last exposure.
    What to do if you have a horrible co-worker who talks constantly? It is making me physically ill :-(
    RunningMan
    I can relate. I never liked sharing an office due to all the extra chatter, noise, interruptions, food smells, etc. And that's with only 1 or 2 others before I had severe T. Fortunately, I eventually got my own office.
    For those who want to answer - do you still work with T?
    M
    @4Grace I agree with you. My tinnitus is so bad that there is nothing I enjoy. I have to work even though I struggle/suffer through it. I wouldn't be in a better situation by any means if I didn't have to work. My tinnitus is the kind that I can actually feel so it pierces through my ear drums like they're being cut
    4Grace
    @MiaVIL - how do you do it. You are so incredibly strong. Working is better but I physically could not… I worsen with the wind. I reached this new point 2 weeks ago. Can't drive for 5 min. My ears begin to burn and ring harder.
    M
    @4Grace I work from home and there is a tiny ounce- a very tiny ounce that I will recover. Even though it's minuscule.
    I have learned nothing from this experience. It has been utterly useless
    L along the way
    I wanted to do anything i could to improve my health. Started experimenting with diets, a plant based diet gave me amazing results overall healthwise. No hate against meat eating, but i think i feel more affinity with animals now, because they also have a nervous system and can feel joy and suffering.
    L along the way
    So, the animal industry, i don't view animals so much as an industry anymore. Eating animals i don't think is the worst, but just that they can have a natural and free life would be more humane
    L along the way
    That being said.. i would just like to add.. i do believe we as humans have more depth of experience, and are more valuable. But to value animals that they also deserve to be free of unnatural and unnesary suffering.. a more natural life
    I want my ashes thrown over the ocean. That image gives me a sense of freedom and relief. I will be foam on a wave, eternally moving
    Other patient groups are able to meet IRL and talk and support each other. We can't even do that. We are being tested like gladiators
    dipp
    There are some groups in my zone but I refuse to go and hear people complaining of mild cases. Don´t want to reassure that my case is so severe.
    I cannot continue. The indifference of "close ones" adds to the torture. If I develop a deadly disease I blame those family members
    No support from family. They don't understand how close I am to ending it all. Or they don't care
    RunningMan
    This is a common theme on here. People who don't have it severe don't get how much suffering it can cause.
    How can I keep hoping for better times when life today is so much worse than one year ago? When I think of the future I freeze with fear
    How do you guys avoid getting sick from the constant torture and lack of sleep? My immune system is failing badly
    Juliane
    RunningMan
    I feel kind of sick sometimes, but I think it's mostly from anxiety, and now from a new sleep med I just started. Also, have apparent nerve pain behind shoulder and ongoing stomach pains for months, that I never used to have until late last year. I got a referral for diagnosis.
    M
    I will often read for a while before going to bed. Believe it or not, but when I am reading and concentrating on what I am reading, I am able to shift my focus from listening to my Tinnitus to imagining the characters that I am reading about. This helps me to relax and when I do to bed, I am able to fall asleep within 15 minutes.
    Loud humming tone quiets a bit when I plug my ears. HOW is that possible? Is that objective tinnitus?
    Juliane
    @Pinhead I know for sure it is in my head because it follows me around. But since I can somehow manipulate the sound by plugging my ear, I wonder if the sound literally/ organically comes from a place inside my head? I read that true objective tinnitus can be heard by other people eg with a stethoscope
    Juliane
    @Tryn2BHopeful Perhaps all the WiFi surrounding us is finally getting to the more sensitive among us :-( It def cannot be healthy with all that electronic shite
    SumGuy
    I had a tone like this! It was my neighbors noise machine since she had horrible t at night.
    How are you doing friend?
    Juliane
    Thanks for checking in on me. Struggling at the moment. How are you?
    SumGuy
    Hi Juliane, sorry to hear that. I hope things turn around for you. I'm ok, I'm not sure if its going down in volume or im getting used to it. I miss silence
    It is not the strongest people who survive but the luckiest
    Jammer
    I'd rather be lucky than good any day.
    BB23
    Yes. Survival of the fittest doesn't mean the strongest survive. The strongest could die in an accident. It doesn't relate to physical fitness. It means to fit the environment. to avoid all complications of life long enough to pass on your genes.
    Juliane
    @BB23 I agree. But even mental strength is also not enough when e.g. having T. It wears you down over time. If it spontaneously lowered that's a different story. Then you are Lucky. Then you start thriving again. But not because of strength. Because of luck. Pure luck.
    I now know life can change in an instant. The homeless person on the street could have been you or me.
    crescentsky
    I desperately wish this was an option - take all my investments and stocks. take all my friends too. don't have a husband, but take him too! i don't care. just give me the damn permanent silence.
    BB23
    In the modern world we think in very limited and self centered ways. I don't think being homeless is the worst thing, compared to this scenario. You could be a farmer and vikings can come invade your land and rip your heart out and eat it to please their gods etc. stuff like this used to happen all the time. nobody in the world is destined to be happy.
    Juliane
    @cjbhab So would I! But my point was also that some homeless people probably also have T in addition to other multiple issues. We just never know what people struggle with which is why we should never judge anyone.
    I think I might aspire to become a crazy bag lady wandering the streets wearing ear muffs while shouting incomprehensibly at bypassers
    If I could be deaf with zero T, I swear I would want that. I really do
    cjbhab
    imagine being deaf with T!! i would pull the trigger immediately.
    Juliane
    @cjbhab I know! That's why being deaf with ZERO T would be the only manageable way. However, being deaf with no T becomes more and more appealing. Funny how life changes your perspective
    crescentsky
    deaf with zero T, complete 100000% silence - the dream!
    Jesus promises His followers that when we enter His kingdom, there will
    be no more death, pain, sorrow, or crying (Revelation 21:4) With a precious
    promise like that, it makes tinnitus bearable; knowing that this to will pass!
    Juliane
    Also, I would not know how to follow Jesus even if I wanted to. How does one follow Jesus?
    gameover
    It is nice psycho babble. If it works for one, great. Does not help me, sorry.
    Eloy Resendez Jr
    I'm with you pastor it's just much easier said than done. I do however look forward to that day!
    If a vampire offered you eternal life without T and H but having to live a vampire life, would you say yes?
    My nervous system is dysregulated. How do I balance it?
    4Grace
    I am truly sorry to hear this. My anxiety is also through the roof the last 3 days. I am experiencing some symptoms from it that I don't even want to mention. It's your damned if you do and your damned if you don't. Constant fear of noise I find can be just as bad as T. I use youtube guided meditation videos. Try to go out in noise friendly places. Talk to people.
    Juliane
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