Juliane

Juliane

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  • Juliane
    I don't believe at all that we are in charge of our own happiness. Chaos rules this world and we have no control
    Juliane
    Today I am more scared than I have been in a really long time. It is dawning on me that this might never improve and could ultimately end me
    View previous comments…
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Serenity prayer.
    Juliane
    @tpj I appreciate your kind words and I probably should not say this, but I don't believe any treatment will come for T. It is just not being prioritized
    tpj
    I understand your pessimism @Juliane, believe me I do. I know T isn't a priority but things are happening despite being agonisingly slow. Patience, that's what I keep reminding myself.
    Juliane
    I asked my employer to go part-time and they accepted. T now in the driver's seat. Cannot work full time with this condition.
    View previous comments…
    Cmspgran
    Mine hasn't improved and almost feels worse if anything from 4 months ago, does yours react in real time as in reacts to sound continuously? Reading your status breaks my heart as I can relate to it all so much. Please hang in there for better days!
    Tryn2BHopeful
    It reacts real time.
    4Grace
    @Juliane I am so extremely lucky to be able to do it. Thank you for your kind words.
    Juliane
    Of course it would be a challenge to communicate but look, we are doing it here on TT just fine without sound.
    Juliane
    Thanks again for your support reg my therapist. Can't believe I'm paying to be gaslighted! Feel so stupid. Guess I need to ditch him
    crescentsky
    sigh these therapists honestly have no idea.my reg therapist had to google what tinnitus was lol. i stopped going. felt like it was a waste of money.
    Juliane
    4Grace
    I have seen a few. Only one helped. He was good because he also suffered. Tried to take his own life 3 times. He had seen more then one can imagine. Stayed in a bed for 2 years due to depression. They are now living a normal
    life again. I had some good sessions. Everything is possible
    Juliane
    2/2 The more I think about it, the more I feel I am wasting my time and money there
    L along the way
    I feel like many therapists don't really understand how this condition actually feels like.. to find a good therapist is a something
    Juliane
    1/2 My therapist said I was wrong to think my ears are more sensitive than healthy ears (!) That I could tolerate the same sound levels
    View previous comments…
    BrOKeN_1
    @AnthonyMcDonald is correct. It's damn near impossible to find a good therapist that can help navigate tinnitus. And you don't need gaslite along the way. I hope you can find someone more suited to your needs. God bless!
    Juliane
    Thanks a lot guys! The sad thing is that he promotes himself as very knowledgeable on tinnitus. I got my hopes up and this is just very disappointing. His "advice" is dangerous :-(
    gameover
    Hubbard is the same gaslighter! Do not waste money on him.
    Juliane
    I cannot live like this
    L along the way
    I feel you... every day I go through the same thing.. it's absolutely ridiculous.. i use benzos for sleep which help, and kratom also. But I'm not advocating these things, it may lead to addiction. But for me it helps for now.
    L along the way
    I try to live healthy lifestyle, switched to plant based diet, quit smoking and alcohol. The other things I use to just get a good nights rest. I tell myself every day, that one day things may get better, because the body is strong, and it may heal with time... the idea to have to have this for my whole life is hard to take.. I try to keep faith in slow recovery. Wishing you well too
    SarahMLFlemmer
    Oh Juliane. ;(
    Juliane
    Waiting for my boyfriend to have enough of this and dump me. Then I can focus on how to get out of this
    Juliane
    Cancelling all plans and trying to accept that I will be an outcast from now on. No one cares anyway
    Juliane
    2/2 and stupid SOUND breaks my heart before the day has even begun. I will never find peace of mind and Joy again
    Juliane
    1/2 Another morning of waking up to this BS reality. I know I should be happy I managed to sleep and I am. But waking up to this horrrific
    Juliane
    Had two cups of coffee today because I needed energy to complete a task. When do I learn.. need to replace with decaf or tea
    Juliane
    I'd rather be a vampire than this. More perks.
    BB23
    I'd rather lose an eye, both my legs, one arm heck both arms maybe than this.
    Juliane
    Sometimes I wonder if I am already dead. Because this must be what it feels like to be a ghost
    View previous comments…
    Juliane
    How long for you?
    J
    Had tinnitus since I was a child. I have had hyperacusis plus reactive tinnitus since August 7th from a concert. Tahn it has was worsened by and ear infection plus covid and a few other stupid mistakes I made.
    Juliane
    @JohnthanDel45 It is such a heavy cross to bear:-( I would so wish I could choose another cross. But we can't. Hope your reactivity fades as well as your T volume and hyperacusis
    Juliane
    Going to see my therapist today although my problem is physical and not psychological. But real doctors can't help with anything.The irony!
    Tryn2BHopeful
    Isn't it though. Our only option is to try to convince ourselves its not a problem or less of one. Its worth trying though! I hope your appointment goes well.
    Juliane
    @Tryn2BHopeful Thanks a lot! Well, look at it this way: someone's gotta pay the therapists' salary. I guess we are some of them :-)
    Juliane
    It went OK apart from the fact that he is trying to convince me that overprotecting is bad and that I should stop doing it. NOT falling for that one.
    Juliane
    I want sunshine, peace of mind and waking up with a smile on my face because the day ahead seems so full of promise. THAT'S what I want
    Mo8409
    That's what I miss most too. It seems like it's turned into a survival from sunrise to sundown. I'm trying to bring this back though.
    Juliane
    @Mo8409 Hopefully this will be reality for both of us soon!
    Juliane
    I need to know life can get better. I wear my Peltors outside, avoid noise like the plague and eat healthy. What else can I do?
    View previous comments…
    Stayinghopeful
    For me, it was just rediscovering a hobby to help take my mind of tinnitus which was at the forefront of my mind.

    I just picked up a camera and started taking photos to distract myself. I don't know if you do any art (I assume you do from your Frieda picture) but it can help.
    Juliane
    @Stayinghopeful Would love to see some of your pictures. Very inspiring that you were able to do that!

    As for art / creative outlets, I was working on a novel which I was close to finalizing before my tinnitus worsened (Jan 2023). I haven't written a word since and don't feel like it. Writing is a discipline that (for me) requires silence and concentration, and with T this just does not seem possible anymore...
    Juliane
    Sorry for the negativity but I am despairing quite badly at the moment.
    Juliane
    I honestly don't think a life with so many limitations is worth it for me... I am sorry to give off a negative vibe but I just can't
    View previous comments…
    Mo8409
    It's hard to see the rainbow when you're in the middle of the storm. You got this, always have and always will. Negative vibe is okay but don't stay there for long. Brain will adjust again eventually.
    gameover
    I think the same.
    Juliane
    @Mo8409 I really want to believe that but I think we each have a limit for how much torture we can take 24/7 - and still see a value in life. I feel I am reaching my limit fast. I have nothing to look forward to anymore.
    Juliane
    Haven't slept at all due to insane ringing. And now the working day begins. Awesome life
    View previous comments…
    4Grace
    Masking spikes mine after a while but can't survive without it. It's getting real crazy.
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Juliane Same, masking is impossible. Though I do find some sounds soothing despite the additional reactivity. Nature sounds mostly. If I am having a bad night I will use my "sleep headband" Though I find I wake up around 3-4am and start having racing thoughts, some ok and some bad. Seems I have depression according to my visit with a therapist today... imagine that...
    Tryn2BHopeful
    @Cmspgran I have used l-theanine with some success to get to sleep, but nothing keeps me asleep the way I used to sleep even Mirtazapine... Its enough sleep to get by. A note on the l-theanine for me after a few days it starts to spike my T, it stops once I discontinue it.
    Juliane
    To the people who did this to me and ruined my life - I hope the split second loud bang was worth it. You sure made an impact.
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