I do not blame you for your gentle rebuke, but in the case of myself and Autumnly it is unjustified, in my opinion.
@Autumnly @Jazzer @annV @emmalee guys and gals Martin was just offering his perspective on living with his own Tinnitus and how he gets through it, offering me some tips, it was a kind thing to do.
We know our tinnitus is unique to us and only us truly know how that affects us, I know severe T is mostly brushed under the rug in terms of exposure (TRT and all that bolloxs takes centre stage) we need balance as in positive posts as well as the ones that show people suffering. I'm sure Martin wasn't trying to undermine anybody's suffering just how he has handled it. I'm not sure he showed a lack of understanding as he was coming from his own perspective, he wasn't condescending, preachy just trying to show support which we all need.
Balance and understanding is what we need, to be here for each other and in some cases call out peoples BS, in this case, in my own very very very very very humble, like the most humble opinion of all, I don't think he was chatting BS.
Okay.~ never look down on someone unless you are helping them up ~
Okay.
I never look down on people.
Ever!
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That comment is unworthy of you.
If that is your interpretation of my comments then that is pretty sad.
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I was attempting to explain a point of fact.
I am only responsible for the content of what I say.
I am not responsible for your interpretation of it.
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However, I have been misunderstood before,
and I will survive.
@emmalee, @Jcb,
Listen you two lovely people - I've been wanting to get to my phone all evening.
I knew you would be concerned about my being upset.
My brother and his wife called in to see me and I could not get to my phone to reassure you.
I am not upset.
I always try very hard to explain myself.
Maybe I don't do it very well, but I try.
Nearly all arguments right across this website relate to well intentioned sufferers advising very severe sufferers that things will get better.
When somebody has lost an entire way of life that simply is not true.
That was my point.
Telling it like it is comes from my own integrity which demands that I am consistent, and tell the truth as I understand it.
It is never my intention to hurt anybody.
To me this has been a storm in a tea cup.
On Saturday Sylvie and I drove a 550 mile round trip from London, through France, Belgium, and up into Holland to see her brother for the last time.
We had to get there and back in one day.
We made it.
This lovely man died at 1:15pm this afternoon.
This has not been a great day folks.
However, just like having wretched severe Tinnitus, we have to pick ourselves up, and keep going.
Tomorrow will be another day - albeit, noisy.
I love you both,
but you know that,
Dave x
Not wanting to speak ill of anyone but the Bam guy totally made people feel like a piece of shit if they didn't have bad enough tinnitus to be suicidal. He was a wacko that wanted others to be miserable just because he was.my dear mate Bam would have understood.
Like me, he spoke of the realities, could not abide well-meaning fairy stories, and steered well clear of platitudes.
@Jcb
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"It Will Get Better."
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"Well it won't get better."
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Yes everybody has every right to state their opinions.
Equally, everybody has every right to defend their opinions.
You must forgive me for erring on the side of reality, and for not being prepared to accept fairy stories, because, of all people,
"I know different."
QED.
Sorry, I miss the guy and couldn't disagree more. I am worried about him. I am a card carrying wacko myself, and proud of it.Not wanting to speak ill of anyone but the Bam guy totally made people feel like a piece of shit if they didn't have bad enough tinnitus to be suicidal. He was a wacko that wanted others to be miserable just because he was.
Agreed DL.Sorry, I miss the guy and couldn't disagree more. I am worried about him. I am a card carrying wacko myself, and proud of it.
2... everybody stop bickering... back to poetry, art, and love. Enough banter please... back to soul inspiring nourishment please...
Thanks... that's your cue Jazzer, follow up with a sweet rift.
This place was designed to be a friendly part of the world.
Just look around - we've got all the best people on here - a small but select bunch.
Anybody who is anybody eventually gravitates here.
We tend to show messages of encouragement, mottos, homespun philosophy, cartoons, photos, artwork, poetry, etc....
It's all pretty benign, and we discourage arguments on here.
Dave, it was this post that made me feel as if we could come here and not have to be subjected to comments about who is worse off, the severe sufferers or the not severe enough sufferers. The fact is we all suffer Dave, no one person really knows to what extent another suffers. There is no contest, we all lose. Isn't the fact that we have to deal with tinnitus at all enough?
Why can't a member come to this one and only particular thread, leave a message of hope and encouragement, and not be criticized for failing to point out that there are those who suffer to a greater extent?
Can we not have one thread where kindness, respect and acceptance are encouraged? You asked for these very things in the above quote.
I am very sorry that I angered you in such a way that you felt you needed to put me in my place. You say it is okay for @Autumnly and yourself to speak your minds, yet others are not offered the same respect.
I do apologize for my role in all of this, and I truly am sorry for upsetting you so much. I never thought that the two of us would come to such a sad place.
emma
First of all Emma - thank you for coming back.Dave, it was this post that made me feel as if we could come here and not have to be subjected to comments about who is worse off, the severe sufferers or the not severe enough sufferers. The fact is we all suffer Dave, no one person really knows to what extent another suffers. There is no contest, we all lose. Isn't the fact that we have to deal with tinnitus at all enough?
Why can't a member come to this one and only particular thread, leave a message of hope and encouragement, and not be criticized for failing to point out that there are those who suffer to a greater extent?
Can we not have one thread where kindness, respect and acceptance are encouraged? You asked for these very things in the above quote.
I am very sorry that I angered you in such a way that you felt you needed to put me in my place. You say it is okay for @Autumnly and yourself to speak your minds, yet others are not offered the same respect.
I do apologize for my role in all of this, and I truly am sorry for upsetting you so much. I never thought that the two of us would come to such a sad place.
emma
Not wanting to speak ill of anyone but the Bam guy totally made people feel like a piece of shit if they didn't have bad enough tinnitus to be suicidal. He was a wacko that wanted others to be miserable just because he was.
Perhaps he has decided to stay away.Was? Does that mean he got banned or something?
Yes, I fully agree. Perhaps my sentence was not 100% correct. Of course with hyperacusis, you are very limited to many things.That's not true for everyone with tinnitus (and hyperacusis). "As many as 2 million people [in the U.S. alone] can't work or carry out other daily activities because of the tinnitus itself, or the psychological distress it causes them." source